Chapter Sixty-Six

“Alright, out with it,” Elise demanded, biting aggressively into her banana at morning tea the next day. The trio were sitting in their usual spot, though the wind seemed to be cutting them harshly today. Lila was beginning to regret remaining out here when the sun was truly hiding from them behind thick, grey clouds.

“Out with what?” Lila asked, blinking rapidly in bemusement.

“With what you were going to tell us yesterday,” Grace explained patiently, dipping her carrot stick in hummus.

“Since when do you have hummus with your morning tea?” Lila questioned.

“Since today. New regime. You’re avoiding the topic,” Grace replied pointedly.

“I… just don’t want Asher and Isaac to overhear,” Lila said in a low voice.

“Don’t worry about that,” Elise smiled mischievously. “I may have told Isaac to keep Asher away during morning tea today for this reason. Said I wouldn’t help him tonight at Maccas if he didn’t.”

“I hope you’re not going to tell him what I have to say,” Lila frowned.

“’Course not,” Elise said, almost suspiciously quickly. “Your secret is safe with us.”

Lila inhaled deeply, closing her eyes.

“Alright. Here goes…” she said before faltering to a stop, glancing between both of them.

“Yes?” Grace said encouragingly, leaning in. Elise followed suit.

“I… figured out that I… have a crush on Asher,” Lila admitted, her last sentence a very faint whisper. Elise and Grace paused as they registered what Lila had said before they both wore identical beams on their faces.

“I can’t believe you’ve finally said it!” Elise squealed, grasping Lila’s shoulders and shaking her, Elise’s banana skin flapping unceremoniously on Lila’s blazer. Lila’s face turned a bright scarlet, but she didn’t hide it. Not that she really could, with how tight Elise was holding her.

“I’m really happy that you’re not denying it to yourself anymore,” Grace nodded, her voice brimming with glee.

“It did take a while, didn’t it?” Lila asked with a sheepish laugh.

“Sure did, ma’am,” Elise laughed. “You were very stubborn about it.”

“Actually, what changed?” Grace asked curiously, sipping her juice box.

“Ooh, good one,” complimented Elise.

“I… don’t really know for sure,” Lila sighed. “I guess seeing Asher help Daniel really touched me. He didn’t have to. I’m pretty sure Daniel’s not even paying him. And… Daniel’s really taken to Asher, I think. Asher helped him feel better about everything and encouraged him… he’s really kind.”

“That makes sense,” Elise nodded sagely, finally letting go of Lila. “But why’d you deny it for so long? Literally everyone could see that you had a thing for him.”

“Well, that’s embarrassing,” Lila replied, hiding her face now. “But… I guess I’ve just been scared.”

“Scared? Of what?” Grace asked gently.

“Of… being rejected. Of what it would mean. Of what to do about it,” Lila replied sullenly, her voice muffled by her hands.

“Are you not scared now?” Elise asked, her voice sounding hopeful for some reason. Lila looked up.

“Of course I’m scared. Have been for ages. Last holidays, I talked to Cecelia since her troubles with Lucas were pretty similar. I… had trouble figuring out what I wanted, especially since Asher was dating Holly and I thought they were couple goals. Obviously, I know that was wrong. But every time I thought about them together, I got this weird pain in my chest and I struggled to breathe. And even back then, I was thinking more and more that I needed to get it off my chest and at least say something. Or that it was time for me to just quietly let go and not address it at all since I wanted to stay friends with Asher. The thought of not being friends with Asher anymore has terrified me for months now. And he’s been giving me these signs that he’d rather be friends. But I think… maybe my feelings now outweigh my fear and uncertainty, y’know? I just… couldn’t hide from it anymore.”

Elise and Grace glanced at each other, their faces still giddy.

“That’s a whole lotta feelings,” Elise confirmed. “This definitely doesn’t sound like how it was with Isaac, either.”

“Yeah,” Lila mumbled. “I… know Asher deeply, now, I think. And I still like him all the same. He’s not just a cute guy to me. He’s my best guy friend. And I don’t wanna mess that up, either.”

“I don’t think you’d mess it up,” Grace said softly. “You should tell him how you feel.”

Lila immediately sat up straight, her face flushed and heart pumping loudly in her ears. “No way,” Lila stressed. “Never.”

“You just said that you were thinking about saying something,” Elise pointed out.

“I… nothing’s going to come from me saying something,” Lila said quietly, looking down at her lap. “The second option of not addressing it all is much more appealing.”

“How can you be so sure that nothing’ll come from you saying something?” Grace queried.

“… I overheard him talking to Clare yesterday. She asked if he was just coming over for Daniel, and he said that it wasn’t just for Daniel and that I was his best friend. I’ve been totally friend-zoned,” Lila bemoaned the last part into her hands again.

“You haven’t talked to him. You need to hear these kinds of things from his mouth, rather than guessing based on his convos with other people,” Elise implored.

“It’s… terrifying,” Lila whispered. “I don’t want to be rejected, and I don’t want to make things awkward or ruin things ‘cause he knows I like him.”

“Being vulnerable is how you get anywhere with these kinds of things,” Grace said wisely.

“It’s… not like I haven’t been vulnerable with him before,” Lila divulged. “But this is… a whole ‘nother level.”

“If you’ve just realised you like the guy, there’s nothing wrong with sitting with those feelings for now,” Elise said, reaching out to touch Lila’s arm. “It might be too soon for you to try and do something about it.”

“Speaking of too soon, he’s still upset over Holly,” Lila added despondently.

“I’m sure he is,” Grace responded with a firm nod. “You can wait until he’s no longer upset.”

“I’ll probably be thirty by the time that happens,” Lila replied glumly, bringing her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them.

“You could help him work through it, too,” Elise said simply. “It’s not like you’d do anything like that in the slightest.”

“Sure, but I don’t want to be a rebound, either. I want it to be a genuine relationship, if he decides he wants one,” Lila murmured, tracing circles into the dead grass patch she was sitting next to.

“Alright, so, plan of action, then, should be to wait it out for a bit,” Elise declared. “Feel the excitement of a crush without any expectations while you sus out when he’s feeling better about the whole Holly situation, or if you can help him.”

Lila absorbed Elise’s suggestion for a moment before looking back up at both her friends. “Thanks, guys,” Lila smiled.

“I can see why you didn’t want Isaac or Asher around for this conversation,” Grace smiled back. “Want a carrot stick with hummus?”

----------------------------------------

Lunch with Isaac, Asher, Elise, and Grace was another carefree event. Asher didn’t ask to speak with Lila alone this time, though every time their eyes connected, Lila felt like she’d lost the capacity to speak anyway. Telling Grace and Elise about her crush on Asher seemed to have confirmed her feelings even more, and it was messing with her bodily functions during lunch. Isaac and Elise drove most of the conversations today, with Isaac’s nerves about his first shift finally fully surfacing. Surprisingly, Elise was pretty comforting towards Isaac, though there were a few jokes in between that Isaac would probably fall over during his shift. Apparently, the floors in the back area of Maccas were incredibly slippery.

Unfortunately for Lila, she had Study and then English with Asher before watching him for his debate. She almost wished she hadn’t said a thing to Grace and Elise, so her body would cooperate with her wishes but it was too late for that now.

“You seem really quiet today,” Asher suddenly said midway through Study, scrutinising Lila over his laptop screen. “Everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” Lila managed to get out. She suddenly wished that he would stop looking at her. “J-Just nervous.”

“Don’t be,” he smiled at her. “You’ll ace your exams. I know it.”

Lila took a deep breath before nodding. “Thanks.”

“Though, I’m pretty nervous too,” Asher admitted, stretching. He flashed her another grin. “I feel a bit rusty with debating, after all.”

‘God, he’s attractive,’ Lila caught herself thinking before shaking her head furiously. If she focused on that, she wouldn’t be able to survive Study or English.

“I’ll be cheering you on,” Lila said quietly. “I’ve never been to a debate before, so even if you bomb, you’ll do great in my eyes.”

Asher stared at her for a moment, his ears slightly pink.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. He turned his attention back to his laptop. Lila attempted and only half-succeeded at studying.

English was devoted to preparing for their exam next week, which Lila was thankful for. Though she was sitting next to Asher, she at least wasn’t forced to look at him. His proximity, though, made her heart beat furiously in her chest, as though angry she wasn’t even closer to him-

“Good luck with your exams next week,” Ms Shard’s voice cut through Lila’s line of thought, making her jump. “Have a good weekend.”

Their classmates filed out of the classroom, mostly complaining about impending exams.

“When’s your debate?” Lila asked Asher as they packed up, carefully averting her gaze from him.

“It starts at 6 tonight. Well, we get our topics at 4.45, 5 o'clock. It gives time for St Peters College to arrive. We can hang out in the library until about quarter past 4, then I’ll have to help set up the classroom and talk strats with my teammates.”

“Great,” Lila said, her stomach knotting itself at the thought of sitting with Asher for another hour. She hoped that Asher would want to study – at least then she’d have an excuse to not look at him.

To her chagrin, as soon as they sat down, Asher launched into an analysis of the book he’d been reading in Lila’s room. It seemed like he was almost finished with it already. Lila briefly wondered when he’d had the time to sleep before finding herself quite engaged in this conversation. The questions Asher was asking were rather thoughtful and intriguing. Being lost in the conversation, rather than Asher’s eyes, helped calm her down, at least.

They continued as they were for some time, and Lila’s cheeks began to ache from smiling so much. Peeking into Asher’s mind was enthralling, particularly with his infectious enthusiasm as he spoke about the book, his eyes alight with passion. Eventually, their conversation drifted into other topics, with Asher checking in on her study progress for exams with marked interest. Whenever his attention turned to Lila specifically, the butterflies in her stomach emerged, their wings beating forcefully within. She forced herself to remember that, though Asher was her crush, he was also her best friend, which seemed to abate the feelings somewhat so she wasn’t overwhelmed.

At about 4pm, Asher’s body language changed. He was distinctly jittery, standing up and leaning against the headrest of their booth for a couple of seconds before sitting back down again. He repeated the process several times, though he didn’t break his side of the conversation to account for this behaviour.

“Forget ‘pretty nervous’. You seem extremely nervous,” Lila said gently after the fifth instance of this routine. He looked at her sharply.

“I’m not.”

Lila looked at him doubtfully and he sighed.

“Fine. I am. My team haven’t asked me why I quit, but… they know I broke up with Holly. I missed the last few team meetings, actually, even after I came back. I get the feeling that they’re not happy with me.”

“Just try and concentrate on what you enjoy about debating. It might be awkward with your team for now, but you’ll get into the flow quickly,” Lila said, trying to sound comforting. Asher exhaled heavily, before checking the time. He leapt up.

“Shit, I’ve gotta go. We’re in the classroom at the end. You can come by whenever, but people will start sitting down at about 5.45-ish. Snacks are on the first floor,” Asher said quickly, pointing at ‘the classroom at the end’ before leaning in towards Lila. She leaned back to compensate for his sudden closeness, her breath caught in her throat. She blinked up at him and his entire face immediately turned bright red. He hesitated for a second before spinning around and jogging off.

‘What was that about?’ Lila thought to herself as she watched him go. He was shaking his head fiercely before he turned the corner and disappeared. Was there something on her face?

Lila didn’t want to remain here, twiddling her thumbs, so she ducked off to the bathroom and inspected herself in the mirror. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with her appearance – well, nothing out of the ordinary, at least. She wandered down to the first floor and saw a few students from Grades 10, 11, and 12 swarming the snack tables, chatting idly. A few more students in Grades 7, 8, and 9 clung to the edges of the room, gripping palm cards with pale, nervous expressions. A few seemed to be desperately reciting whatever was written on their palm cards. The Grade 11 students that Lila could see weren’t people she felt comfortable talking to, so she kept to herself as she observed what was laid out on the snack tables.

A large collection of individually wrapped muffins and slices was sitting on the end of the biggest table. A few sandwich trays were also here, clearly catered for by Subway. Lila wondered whether Lucas had made these tonight as she selected a chicken sandwich. There were more snacks, including TimTams, but none stood out to Lila. She turned back around, trying not to look at anyone directly. Then, she heard a voice next to her.

“Hey, Lila.”

She almost threw her sandwich to the ground in reaction to the voice as she jumped, staring wildly to see who was speaking. It was Vi.

“Oh. Hey, Vi,” Lila said after collecting herself. “I didn’t realise you did debating.”

“Sure do,” Vi nodded. “But I’m just here as the Chairperson today.” An awkward silence weighed between the two. Though Vi wasn’t unfriendly to Lila, the fact that they’d hardly said a word to each other before now was painfully obvious.

“Livi’s setting the room up,” Vi said quietly, taking a bite of her apple and cinnamon muffin and being careful not to spill any crumbs on her fiction novel.

“Livi does debating too?”

“’Course she does,” Vi replied lightly. “You couldn’t tell? She’s very good at picking up on things people say at short notice. She’s our usual third speaker.”

Lila recalled what Asher had said about the third speaker in debating – that they usually drew the short end of the stick. She wasn’t quite sure what it meant, but she was curious to see how Livi would go in a debate.

“It’s kinda cute that you guys take the same co-curricular,” Lila smiled. “Why aren’t you setting up the room?”

“Livi shooed me away,” Vi sighed. “She managed to rope in Micah and Frankie to help her, so they didn’t need me. Plus, I can’t be in there while they’re writing their speeches. Anyway, why are you here?”

Lila blushed, wondering what she should say to Vi. If she said she was here to support Asher, surely Vi would tell Livi and Livi wouldn’t let Lila hear the end of it if they saw each other again.

“Are you here to support Asher?” Vi asked after Lila didn’t say anything in response to her question. There was no escaping her fate, it seemed.

“Yeah,” Lila replied plainly. “He invited me to see a home match. He also said there were snacks.”

Vi laughed, tossing her head back as she did so. Lila couldn’t remember ever seeing Vi laugh, or, if she had, it hadn’t been as genuine as this. Vi pulled herself together and gave Lila a shrewd look.

“I’m sorry for Livi’s comments, by the way. The ones she usually makes when you visit us. I know it bothers Asher a whole lot, but you seem to take them like a champ.”

“You don’t need to apologise on behalf of Livi,” Lila shook her head to emphasise the point. “I’m not going to deny that it bothers me, but you always try to put a stop to it. Thanks.”

Vi stared at Lila for a moment before stepping closer to her.

“I can’t say that I’m not curious,” Vi said in a low voice, “but, girl to girl, why aren’t you and Asher dating?”

“He doesn’t like me,” Lila replied before biting aggressively into her chicken sandwich. Vi looked at her, clearly astonished.

“Did he tell you that?” Vi asked, her eyes wide.

“No.”

“Then how do you know?”

“He… isn’t over his last girlfriend. And he kinda friend-zoned me.” Lila wasn’t exactly sure why she was telling Vi all this. Was it to get it off her chest?

Vi pursed her lips. “Do you like him?”

Lila looked around, trying to see if anyone was listening to their conversation. It seemed that no one was even looking in their direction, much less listening in. She noted that the younger grades had disappeared entirely, too.

“Yeah,” Lila whispered, staring down at her sandwich.

“If that’s the case, you should go for it.”

Lila shook her head. “I don’t want to push it. It was… a really shitty breakup. Plus, I don’t want to ruin our friendship, either.”

Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!

“I see,” Vi nodded wisely, tapping the spine of her book. “Have you thought about getting over him by dating someone else? Surely pining after a guy who doesn’t want you is painful. It’s not an unusual tactic and can be pretty successful sometimes.”

Lila snapped her head up, her eyes meeting Vi’s pondering ones.

“I… kinda did a while ago. But I don’t even know anyone who’d want to date me.”

Vi simply smiled at Lila, though there was an all-knowing air behind that smile. Vi took another bite of her muffin before she swallowed and said, “I’ve gotta go. Thanks for the chat.”

“I hope you guys win the debate,” Lila replied hollowly.

‘Date someone else…’ Without warning, Livi’s words from when Asher first tried to pay Isaac’s debt shot through her – “Asher’s not even interested, otherwise they’d be dating right now. Wouldn’t you?”

She didn’t want to consider that Livi might’ve been right, but… perhaps she was. If Asher wanted to, he would’ve asked Lila out by now, right? Plus, with what he said to Isaac, and how he’d spoken to Clare about Lila, and the fact that he was still struggling with Holly…

‘And… he’s the Dux. There’s no way in hell that someone like me measures up. Holly was way more in his league,’ Lila thought to herself gloomily. They were compatible as friends, but nothing more. He probably didn’t want to date Lila because he knew that he could get better. Besides, with how the Holly situation went down, surely his standards would be much higher?

Lila’s phone buzzed, jolting her out of her thoughts. She pulled it out – it was an alarm for 5.40 that she’d set after Asher had left her to set up. Had she been standing out here, spacing out for that long? She turned the alarm off and slipped her phone back into her pocket.

‘May as well sit down…’

She walked towards the ‘classroom at the end’ and found a paper stuck to the glass door marked ‘Year 11 Debating - Group A’. The classroom next to it was marked ‘Year 11 Debating - Group B’. Asher had neglected to tell her which group he was in.

Panic flooded through Lila as she looked through the door of the Group A classroom. There were students from a different school – St Peters, judging by the red and grey uniforms. They were rapidly writing on small pieces of paper, deep in concentration. In the Group B classroom, she saw some people from her cohort, also deep in concentration, but no Asher. Was he in Group A, then?

Asher had said that she could sit in the classroom at this time. But the occupants of both looked far too busy to be disturbed. It was probably against the rules to sit in while they were working before the debate, especially if even Vi hadn’t been allowed to be with her team despite being part of debating. Lila recalled that Asher said they were only given an hour before the debate to actually write the thing. Was that what they were doing now?

“Oh, Lila,” a voice that carried a strong European accent sounded behind her. Before turning around to check, she had a strong suspicion that it was Mr Barsch.

She was evidently correct. He was holding a steaming paper cup and a biscuit as he looked at her inquisitively.

“Hello Mr Barsch,” Lila said in relief. Maybe he’d know what group Asher was in.

“Piqued your interest, have we?” he smiled in a parental kind of way before sipping his cup.

“I’m here to watch Asher,” Lila replied, knowing full well it didn’t answer the question. Truthfully, she still didn’t know what debating was, beyond involving public speaking.

“So, it’s Asher who’s piqued your interest,” Mr Barsch’s eyes were glittering with mirth as he watched her squirm slightly. “He’s in Group A. Normally you’d be able to sit in the classroom about now, but St Peters College arrived a bit later than usual. We’re slightly delayed.”

“Thank you for letting me know,” Lila said gratefully. She turned around and started heading off to the Group A classroom before Mr Barsch stopped her.

“I’m not one for idle gossip. But, working in a school such as this means that gossip inevitably floats to my ears,” he said with a long-suffering sigh. What kind of gossip was he talking about?

“I know you and Asher are very close,” he added, his smile still on his face. He took another sip before continuing. “I’ve heard a couple things that... well, Asher swore when the topic was given to him. I thought he’d quit again, and we have dead on seven. We already have to borrow someone from the younger grades to be the Chairperson, but I would’ve had to borrow a Grade 12 student for the debate itself if he did that. Fortunately, he didn’t.”

“What a vague riddle,” Lila responded softly. He gave a short, bark-like laugh before downing the rest of his drink.

“I’m glad you’re here to support him. His reaction tells me he needs all the support he can get. If even I have heard things, and especially the contents of what I heard, I’m sure his teammates are grilling him now - for a number of reasons. And I'm not convinced that they’re very supportive of him at the moment.”

More riddles. Lila wasn’t quite sure of Mr Barsch’s intent in telling her all this, but before she could ask, he checked his watch and crushed his cup.

“If you’ll excuse me. I’m adjudicating the Grade 10 debate and they’ll be starting in a minute or two. The Grade 11s have about fifteen more minutes.”

Mr Barsch smiled warmly at her again before toddling off in the opposite direction.

Lila watched him go for a moment before turning towards Group A’s classroom. If they had fifteen minutes to go, then she wouldn’t be able to get inside. She sunk to the floor beside the door, pondering what Mr Barsch had said. ‘What kind of topic gets that reaction?’ Lila wondered, looking dejectedly at the remainder of her sandwich. She’d figure it out soon enough, at least.

She nibbled at her sandwich and scrolled through Insta on her phone absently. As she brought her last bite to her mouth, a picture flashed by her eyes. It was posted by Holly.

Lila held her breath as she desperately scrolled up, hoping her page wouldn’t refresh – it didn’t.

‘Is that… an ultrasound picture?’ Lila thought as she narrowed her eyes, zooming in. It certainly looked like an ultrasound picture, and that was definitely a baby. Along the top left corner was a name – REID, HOLLY L. The caption underneath read, ‘Can’t wait to meet my baby boy’ with a blue heart next to it. It had 213 likes. That was a whole lot more likes than Lila could even add up in total from her own pictures. Not that she posted much.

Lila put her phone closer to her face, trying to discern other details from the picture. She could see a whole bunch of numbers and codes that she couldn’t understand, so she opened the comments. There were a lot of love hearts in various colours (mainly blue), a few congratulations in various ways, and a few “Can't wait to meet him!” and “He’s going to be the cutest little man!”. But two comments stood out starkly to Lila. One read “How can ur ex not love this baby bean” and the other read “Your ex is a coward for leaving his family! But you got this mama. We love and support you.”

‘Ex? Are they talking about Asher?’ Lila clicked on the profiles belonging to those comments, but both were private. One clearly belonged to a girl named “R Little”, and the other didn’t have any personal details at all. Aside from the cringy nature of the comments, Lila could feel the pettiness within. Was Asher following Holly on social media?

“You can come in, you know,” a clear voice high above Lila said. Lila’s hands slipped and she smacked her nose with her phone. Looking up, she saw Sofia Turner snickering at her. Lila turned red, scrambling to stand up. Sofia sailed into the Group A room with a confidence Lila had never seen Sofia possess, her thick, curly red hair swinging in its ponytail. While Lila didn’t have much to do with Sofia, since they never shared classes, she’d always assumed that Sofia was meek, and definitely not forward in any way. She never saw Sofia outside of the library, at least.

‘Guess I’ll see her in action,’ Lila mused as she made to enter. The St Peters students sat on the left-hand side of the room. Six tables were set up in groups of three, with a single table and chair set up in the wide gap between the sets of three tables. The sets of three tables were slanted slightly so that the tables closest to the middle were also closest to the whiteboard. The chairs were set up so that the six occupants would be facing the audience. A few metres in front of the gap, facing the whiteboard and six tables, was one lonely table. On the whiteboard read the words “TOPIC: THAT ALL PARENTS SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE THE SEX OF THEIR CHILD”.

Underneath this, towards the left-hand side read “St Peters College – Affirmative”, with a list of names beside “First”, “Second” and “Third”. Sofia was writing on the right-hand side of the whiteboard in blue, underneath “Forestglade College – Negative” – “First: Sofia Turner”, “Second: Abdul Hadley” and “Third: Asher Wagner”.

“Sorry, can I get past?” someone behind Lila said. She sidled out of the doorway and watched as Abdul, a tall, brown-haired and acne-ridden boy in Lila’s Design class passed her without a second glance. He was always very serious, even when the rest of Design was goofing off, so this behaviour didn’t stand out to Lila. She knew that he was mixed and had felt a kinship on that basis, but that was all she knew about him.

What did stand out, however, was the overwhelming feeling of anger emanating from Asher as he entered the classroom, his eyes flashing and jaw visibly grinding. With a sinking feeling in her stomach, she knew exactly why he looked that way. His eyes landed on Lila and he closed his eyes, exhaling forcefully.

“Enjoy,” he said tersely before walking off to the free table closest to the gap. Abdul was sitting in the middle of this row, with Sofia at the end. Lila tentatively found a seat in the second row of the audience. Parents and students began to file in, sitting patiently in relative quiet. It wasn’t long before a middle-aged, brunette teacher she didn’t recognise with a short bob sauntered in and sat at the lonely desk facing the two debating teams. She began fussing about with some papers, a stopwatch, and a bell.

“Who’ll be the timekeeper tonight?” the teacher asked, looking towards the St Peters College students. They shrugged, glancing over at the Forestglade College team.

“Have the Year Nines finished their debate?” the teacher asked, checking her watch.

“My sister Alissa will be here in a minute. We’ve already organised for her to be the Chairperson and Timekeeper,” Sofia said politely.

“Thanks, Sofia,” the teacher smiled. She continued to flick through her papers, and eventually an out-of-breath young girl came to the door, accompanied by two other students. The group walked in and Sofia caught the young girl.

“Alright, we’ve set a chair and table over here. You have your Chairperson script?” she said sweetly, walking with her to the teacher.

Alissa nodded, still huffing, and collected the bell and stopwatch before sitting down at the table in the middle of the sets of three.

Lila turned her attention back to Asher, who had his eyes closed again whilst taking several deep breaths. She could see Sofia and Abdul both look at Asher, their faces seeming concerned, but they quickly looked at the teacher in the middle. The teacher stood and introduced herself as both the adjudicator for the debate and as Ms Harris. Ms Harris then indicated for Alissa to start her Chairperson duties. After some housekeeping arrangements, including laying out the expectations of the debaters, and introducing the topic and speakers, she declared that the debate would begin.

A student named Tom Groves from St Peters started the debate, defining the topic, and artfully ignoring the furious scribbling of Asher’s team. Asher’s face showed that he was listening intently, his previously furious disposition seemingly melting in the face of the debate. Truthfully, Lila was quite interested in what Tom had to say – he was a strong, compelling speaker. Though, at times, he did appear to mix up his thoughts. Occasionally, the bell rang out with declarations of his remaining time, which disrupted his speech for only a second.

Once he was finished, Alissa announced the next speech was to begin. Sofia stood, and refuted Tom’s definition of the topic at hand. Her voice was clear, like it had been with Lila, and projected very well over the audience. She seemed very self-assured, smiling whenever her point was made. Her rebuttals were ruthless, and her points seemed far more thought out than Tom’s. The bell rang out twice, signalling that Sofia’s time was up, and she graciously stepped back to her chair. The debate carried on in this fashion, with the Chairperson signposting each speech and its timings. Lila watched as the second speakers on both sides rebutted the other team’s points and provided their own.

Then, the third speaker of St Peters stood. The already-silent atmosphere carried a hint of tenseness as the third speaker, Elijah Brinley, made himself at home with a smirk. He seemed to ooze confidence as he nodded when Ms Harris indicated he could begin.

His voice commanded the attention of everyone in the room as if it were an order, and his conviction carried though every sentence. If Lila didn’t know that he had only gotten the topic an hour beforehand, and rebuttals just now, she would’ve assumed that this was a topic he’d deeply researched and a speech he’d rigorously rehearsed. He’d also managed to inject wit into his rebuttals, causing a couple of parents to chuckle. She was starting to understand why Asher was so passionate about debating, her mind tossing up between the arguments made by the St Peters and Forestglade teams. She couldn’t decide where she sat, between negative and affirmative sides, though Elijah was very persuasive. All the while, Asher was scribbling rapidly on several notes and swiping those passed along to him by Sofia and Abdul, reading these with intense concentration.

The bell dinged, indicating it was time for Elijah to wrap up. He did so smoothly, finishing with thanks to the opposing team and a cocky smile. He sat back down at his table, seeming very pleased with himself. Asher frowned as he scrawled something new on a piece of paper before abruptly standing and rifling through his palm cards. His face still seemed tense with anger, though Lila was no longer sure whether that was due to the topic at hand. Lila tried to catch his eye, and he smiled at her. The tenseness appeared to lift from his body and he stretched his shoulders as he waited for Ms Harris to stop writing notes.

Ms Harris nodded at him to commence, and he did with thanks to the adjudicator, the Chairperson, St Peters, and the audience, just as everyone had before starting their speeches. He paused, looking around the room before giving Lila a quick wink. She wasn’t sure whether it was an intentional wink or an eye twitch, but either way, the knot in her stomach that she’d felt all afternoon tightened even further. Then, Asher tore into the arguments made by the opposition, his voice stable and earnest. Where Elijah was self-assuredly confident, Asher was ruthlessly so – his confidence seemed to come from the strength of his counterarguments, rather than his speaking ability, which built even further as he delved more into his arguments.

Eventually, though, Asher faltered to a complete halt, gripping his palm cards tightly. Lila sat up, puzzled. He took a shaky breath, before continuing.

“Though the opposition contests that all parents should be able to choose the sex of their child, this is undeniably an issue that would continue to snowball. The definition accepted by this debate appears to indicate that the decision should be made jointly. What, then, in scenarios whereby one parent is absent for this decision then later appears in court to contest this? If parents, by virtue of the word being plural, are both able to choose the sex, what happens when they disagree? If the decision falls in favour of the p-pregnant… mother. Um. Sorry, I lost my place.”

Asher blinked a few times as he shuffled his palm cards. He glanced at Lila, who smiled at him encouragingly.

“… Right. What happens when the father disagrees? Or what happens if the decision doesn’t work? Not every medical procedure is guaranteed to work every time. Who bears the cost of court proceedings in relation to this practice – the State, or the parent who disagreed? Court procedures are already lengthy enough, particularly in family court matters.

“Now, onto my next point. The opposition also stated that in choosing the sex of the child, parents who may carry genes that come alive in certain sexes, due to the DNA carried over by each chromosome, healthier children could be almost guaranteed. The pressure on the medical systems could potentially be reduced immensely. This is a bald claim. In choosing the sex of the child, there is no true way to determine which genes have been passed onto which copy of the sex chromosomes, except in rare circumstances where a parent carries both copies on each of their sex chromosomes. As defined by this debate, this is limited only to choosing the sex of the child. A discriminatory practice that violates the Human Rights this country has worked so hard to establish within each of its States, before the child is even born…”

Asher continued on, a small grin on his face as his composure remained intact now. His eyes flickered to Lila every so often, and she was entirely absorbed into his speech. In fact, she could hardly remember that there were other people in the room. He then summarised his team’s main points and closed off with another thank you, just as the bell indicating his time was up dinged.

“Brilliant work everyone,” Ms Harris said approvingly. “Please give me about ten minutes.”

Asher sat back down, seeming relieved that his part was over. Lila saw Sofia and Abdul whisper compliments to Asher, who bashfully accepted with a nod and slight smile. St Peters seemed awfully relaxed as they waited for Ms Harris to finish up what she was doing.

Once time was up, Ms Harris stood, holding a bundle of papers. She stood in the gap made by the six desks and began to provide general feedback about the debate. Then, she gave out scores to each participant. She took a somewhat dramatic pause before reading out Asher’s score.

“And, finally, Asher. You did well, as did everyone. Your matter for tonight was a 31, your manner was a 29 and your method was 14. So, all that being said, the Best Speaker for tonight goes to Elijah.”

A smattering of applause sounded from the audience as Elijah stood up and collected his ‘Best Speaker’ certificate with a smarmy grin.

“Thank you, Ms Harris,” he said smoothly. She nodded at him and he sat back down.

“The overall winner for tonight’s debate, though it was very close by one point, is St Peters. Well done,” Ms Harris announced. Another smattering of applause, this time with more enthusiasm from the St Peters side. Asher held his head in his hands briefly after applauding St Peters.

“And with that, I declare this debate closed,” Alissa announced proudly. Another round of applause later and each speaker stood. They shook hands in a line with each other, like other sportsmanship handshakes in other sports, before the audience began to file out.

The St Peters team disappeared rather quickly, with everyone else following behind at a moderate pace, with parents discussing the debate with mild interest. Eventually, only Asher, Sofia, Abdul, and Lila remained. Lila watched Sofia and Abdul speak to Asher in hushed whispers as he looked rather deflated and cold, not reacting much to what they said. Lila wasn’t sure whether she should interrupt, until Sofia looked up, exasperation plain on her face. She gestured for Lila to come forward.

“Hi,” Lila said hesitantly upon reaching the row of desks Abdul, Sofia, and Asher were still sitting at.

“Hi,” Sofia replied bluntly. “Please talk some sense into him.”

“Why me?” Lila queried. Sofia surveyed Lila briefly before sighing.

“After everything that happened in Term One, you thought no one would notice you and Asher being buddy-buddy in Term Two? Everyone’s kept an eye on you. Even me and I don’t get out much.”

“It’s true,” Abdul shrugged. “Even me.”

“You do know that I am right here,” Asher said curtly, gesturing to himself. “I’m fine.”

“You are not,” Abdul said emphatically as he shook his head.

“I can’t believe what Holly did to you, Asher. I’m so sorry that this was our topic, and your first one after being back on deck,” Sofia added softly.

“You told them?” Lila asked, looking down at Asher in surprise. He held his head in his hands again as he nodded.

“That… was my fault,” Sofia said sheepishly. “I let him have it and he got really mad and left, which pretty much meant he had to be third speaker. When he came back ten minutes later, he told us.”

The room fell painfully silent. No one looked at each other, electing instead to inspect various pieces of furniture or languishing palm cards.

“A-Anyway, now that Lila’s here, hopefully you’ll feel better. Losing a debate isn’t all that bad,” Sofia continued, her voice quivering. This was the meek Sofia that Lila had been expecting prior to watching the debate. Seeing the debating side of Sofia was definitely eye-opening.

“I’m sorry for messing it up, guys,” Asher responded in a bleak whisper, his eyes trained on the palm cards in front of him. “It’s ‘cause I stumbled.”

“We all stumble, Asher. Plus, you’re just a bit rusty and that was... just not the right topic for you. Next round we’ll crush St Peters,” Sofia said empathetically. She glanced at Abdul and Lila before rocking on her feet. “I… wanna check out the snacks before they chuck them away. We’ll see you at the next debating meeting on Thursday morning, yeah?”

“Yeah...” Asher nodded, still not looking up. Both Abdul and Sofia simultaneously took their leave with a backwards glance at Lila.

When the door swung shut, Asher pressed his face and chest down onto the desk with a heavy exhale. Neither Lila nor Asher spoke for a minute or so.

“I can see why you like debating so much,” Lila said simply. Asher made a muffled sound, remaining face-down.

“Like Sofia said, losing isn’t so bad,” Lila tried to say comfortingly. He didn’t react.

“D-Do you want a snack? Surely, you’re hungry after that,” Lila offered. He began to shake his head before stopping. He looked up at her sadly.

“Y-Yeah. But... I need a couple minutes.”

“Do... you wanna talk about it?” Lila asked gently.

“I guess I can’t really talk about it with Daniel over at yours tomorrow,” Asher gave a resigned sigh. “He doesn’t know, does he?”

“Honestly, I have no idea what he knows. Before finding out that he’s the Banker, I kinda thought he knew nothing at all about anything, really.”

Asher snorted. Lila grinned at him, pleased that the joke landed. He pressed his lips together before leaning forward on his elbows.

“You can sit down, you know,” he said lightly. Lila promptly dragged a chair from the audience and popped it in front of his desk so they were facing each other.

“Alright,” he said once she sat down. He avoided her eyes as he rubbed his slightly stubbled chin. “That… was not a great topic for me. Like Sofia said, I kinda lost my temper and walked off. I actually thought about quitting again, but… then I thought about the fact that you were waiting for me. So… I stayed. And messed it all up.”

Asher groaned into his hands, the frustration he was feeling flowing off him in waves. “You probably know exactly how I’m feeling by now, to be honest.”

“I have a good idea,” Lila smiled. “Look, it’s clear that neither Sofia nor Abdul blame you. You don’t need to beat yourself up over it. It was a hard topic. Plus… your mind would’ve been preoccupied, at least just a little.”

“You could say that,” Asher said glumly, looking at the table now. “I just wish I… wasn’t me. Wasn’t like this. Wasn’t so stupid. I’m not good enough, especially not now. Not where it matters, anyway. I can be the Dux, the goalie, or whatever, but that doesn’t change the shitty person I am. Otherwise, people wouldn’t hurt me like this.”

Lila blinked as she tried to process what Asher was saying.

“Asher, what-”

“And that’s enough of me talking for one day,” Asher announced, standing up abruptly. “Let’s grab some food.”

“No, no,” Lila insisted, “sit down.”

Asher looked distinctly uncomfortable as he sank back into his chair, avoiding her gaze entirely. His attempt at an escape did not go unnoticed. Usually, he was relatively happy to sit there and talk things through with Lila. Why did he want to run away now?

“It might sound like I’m obligated to say this, but… what I have to say is something I’d say with my whole chest, in front of anyone who asks,” Lila said carefully. “You’re not stupid, and you’re not shitty. People who don’t see your value, or rather don’t see beyond your grades, money, and sporting ability – they’re the ones that are lacking and shitty. I don’t care who they are and what standing they have. I know the Holly situation still stings, and with a topic like this it’s no wonder she’s on your mind. But Holly was awful. She attached herself to you because she thought she could get something out of you – not because she saw your value as a person. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, or how to feel, but… I think you don’t need to dwell on it so much. Thinking about the whys and connecting it to who you are – that’s not helpful as it’s not actually a reflection on you. You’re shaking your head, but I’m being serious.”

Lila sighed deeply before continuing in a strangely shaky voice. “I have no regrets about hanging out with you because you’re great. I’m always amazed when I find out something new about you. Like how quick-thinking you are in debating, and how confident you are despite not having any real time for preparation. Or how, if a book takes your interest, you can’t help yourself from devouring it. And not to mention how kind you are, in helping Daniel even though you found the whole Banker thing morally reprehensible.”

Her nerves were acting up again as she tried to sound normal, rather than like her Dad. She flushed with embarrassment and looked down at her nails as she picked at them, hoping that Asher would say something. When a few seconds passed with nothing, Lila finally looked up at him. He had buried his face in his hands, his ears red. Was he crying?

“I’m not going anywhere, either,” Lila added softly. “You don’t need to worry about that. You’ve well and truly wormed your way into being my best guy friend. I don’t know how that happened, but there’s no reason for me to leave. I, at least, won’t hurt you. I…”

Lila faltered. Asher had whipped his head up, his eyes searching hers deeply. Suddenly, the vulnerability in what she’d said to him was hitting her all at once. She tore her eyes away and leaned back in her chair, clearing her throat. She chewed on her lower lip, her heartbeat rushing through her ears so loudly that she wasn’t sure she could hear Asher’s response.

“I trust you,” Asher said in a low voice. “I’ve told you before that I trust you. So, I trust what you’re saying.”

Lila looked up at Asher, locking eyes with him again. The warmth in his eyes, now having said that, set the butterflies in her stomach off as though that gaze alone had lifted the cage holding them back. If the wings were any stronger, she’d probably fly away.

“I trust you, too,” Lila found herself replying quietly. He gaped at her.

“You do?” his voice cracked, and he coughed, as if to try and cover it up.

“Of course I do,” Lila said assertively, steadily meeting his gaze. “I told you before that I do.”

Asher laughed. “I thought that was just for our assignment. Obviously, anyone would trust the Dux on a school project. But… I didn’t know that it extended out of that context.”

“It does,” Lila nodded firmly. “Has for a long time now.”

The corners of Asher’s lips twitched into a smile. “Thanks Lila. I feel a lot better.”

“Good,” Lila smiled brightly, standing up. “Let’s go raid the snacks.”