Patreon announcement: Patronizing tail
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"Hello, This is Shiro!"
"This is Lily!"
"We are here to announce the opening of a Patreon account to all the readers, of course! You can see the title, right?"
“.……”
“.…..”
"So, what's next, Shiro? We need to fill 500 words, so this can be considered a chapter, right?"
"Yeah. I have nothing else to add. Who in their right mind would pay money to read this novel anyway?" Shiro shrugged his tail while feeling down.
"Don't say that. The god/Author told us to advertise his Patreon so he could get money to pay his bills. He wanted a mansion or apartment in the center of the city!!" Lily said as she failed so hard at advertising the novels.
"Well, he is right, though, that this novel needed more editing from experienced editors." Shiro waved his tail, "This novel was currently sponsored by Terminators such as novelAI and Grammarly."
"In that case, please sacrifice all your money to us!" Lily shouted shamelessly to advertise the Patreon account.
"Though you are in no way obligated to pay us for the content, The author will continue to release the chapter daily regardless of your money. We will thank you all if you consider it." Shiro said while secretly pressuring the readers to become a patron.
“.…”
“.…”
"We barely wrote 200 words! We still need 300 more!!!" Lily screamed as she understood the author's suffering in writing this novel and releasing it daily.
"How the heck our god wrote one thousand words daily!" Shiro wondered in amazement." We need to find another topic to entertain our audience!"
"Let's talk about Patreon tiers!" Lily spoke out while a random cheat paper flew from the sky to her hand. It talked about 2 tiers currently on Patreon.
"So, we have two tiers. One tier cost one dollar, while it gave you absolutely nothing. While the other was priced at 3$ while it gave you a peek of up to five chapters ahead." Lily read the cheat sheet out loud.
"Wait. That one-dollar patreon gave you a shout-out of your name. It is a privilege! It is important! Everyone should buy it!" Shiro shamelessly advertising the Patreon account. "I am not shameless! This is a marketing strategy!"
Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.
"We are currently in debt! Should we really spend money on things like a Patreon account?" Lily whispered to Shiro, but her voice was heard by everyone," Of course, everyone saw it. You literally wrote what I was talking about!"
414 words. Magical neon lamps showed the two prisoners how many words this chapter had. Just a few more, and they will be returned and worked their bone for their debt.
"Now that you think about it, should we live here and talk about Patreon instead. I don't want to return just to face a debt-ridden world…."
"And leave our fate in the hands of some unknown god? We have no future here, but talking about money all the time. Trust me, as a former salaryman, it was suffering." Shiro talked with a thousand yards gaze. The experience he had suffered back from the earth came back at him suddenly.
"And that's it for our chapter today. See you again, viewers!" Lily closed the discussion since she had now filled the minimum word quota for fiction chapters. Her lazy ass reflected the author's laziness as they also tried to end the current chapter only at 500 words.
"Let us return and wake up from this dream," Shiro said as the author tried to sweep this fourth wall breaking under the rug.
"..."
"..."
"Why aren't we waking up?" Lily tilted her head.
"Let's see." Shiro then looked at a flying paper coming down from the sky that told them to raise the quota to a regular chapter release.
"Wait! Why should we fill 1000 words? Isn't the minimum 500?"
"This now has become regular chapters!"
The duo complained, but it fell on deaf ears as the author was determined to make them suffer for the audience's entertainment.
"NOO!!! Readers!! Please say that you want us done now!"
"This chapter was written before posting. There are no readers yet." Shiro talked some sense to Lily.
"This author is evil! Please don't buy his Patreon tiers!" Shiro shouted, but his voice was not heard as the author forced him to amend his words, "Please buy his Patreon account. You will make us happy!"
"Alright. Let us not antagonize the author too much. The author has put forth a paper that says Patreon is not important, but your enjoyment is. And so, please comment and share your thought!"
"And thus, please like, subscribe, and comment!" Shiro talked as if this novel was posted on youtube. A wash basin was then dropped on Lily's head as a punishment.
"Wait? Why me?" Lily cried.
"It can't be helped. I am just a tail, after all. All of my wrongdoing is your wrongdoing, Lily. I am part of you!" Shiro waved his cocky tail.
"That's not fair!"
"Let's see, the author is a dumbass otaku that tried to doge his real-life work to write!" Shiro tried to roast the author, which returned several metal basins dropped on Lily's head in unison.
*clank*clank
"No!!! Shiro….” Lily cried even harder.
"Sorry." Shiro apologized to Lily for his misconduct.
"And that is it for today's pseudo-chapter release. I hope you keep supporting us for the unforeseeable future!" Shiro waved her tail to the viewer
"See you in the next chapter! We apologize that this is not the usual chapter but an advertisement instead!"
"Please look out for shout-out at the end of the chapters too. They are from fellow authors in the forum!"
"..."
"..."
"I am tired…." Lily whined
"Just keep whining. We are already at 950 words. We are almost there." Shiro kept rambling as the word count kept counting up.
"Let us fill the rest of this chapter with fillers such as talking a…." The author cut her off as they don't want to write anymore. As the word count passed 1000, the chapter ended.