Beyond that, however, there was someone that was not celebrating.
Within his sea of consciousness, Jin stood facing his core. Next to him was another Jin. They were identical.
The one on the right asked: “Did she die?”
The one on the left answered: “She died”
The one on the right asked: “Did you kill her?”
The one on the left answered: “We killed her”
The one on the right turned towards the one on the left with anger filling his eyes. He coldly stated: “You killed Ame”
The one on the left turned towards him and retorted calmly: “I am you and you are me”
The one on the right stated: “I am not you. You are a monster”
The one on the left turned back to look at their core: “Which makes us a monster then”
The one on the right grabbed the neck of the one on the left: “I will kill you”
The one on the left stated firmly: “I will not allow us to die”
The one on the right let go and fell down to his knees: “What have you done?...”
The one of the left admitted: “We killed her”
The one on the right cried. The one on the left cried as well as he bent over and gently pat the right one’s shoulder.
After some time, the one on the right asked: “Now what?”
The one on the left answered: “Don’t you already know? Our goal never changed”
“…the peak…” they both said at once.
The one on the right turned his gaze towards the core: “Is it still worth it? Without her?”
The one on the left clearly stated: “It will always be”
“But why?”
“Because that is us”
“Who decided that?”
“We did”
“You or me?”
“We are one”
“We are not”
“We are”
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“What are you?”
“You”
“But you took control of my body”
“You wished for me to appear and I did”
“Did I?”
“Yes”
“How so?”
“We wished to live”
“What is the point without her?”
“…”
They were both one and both felt the extreme pain of the loss of their greatest love.
Ame was not the love of his life. She was the woman he loved throughout myriads of lives. It could not be compared.
Even though he had vowed to protect her after crossing the 30th stage.
He failed.
No, it was worse.
He destroyed it all himself.
They both looked at their hands as if there were answers or questions to be found within them. In the end, they were just hands though.
The right Jin asked: “Are you going to remain?”
The left one answered: “I am always here as long as you are since we are one”
“Then, will you control the body?”
“Do you want me to?”
“No”
“Me neither”
“Do you think we could find her if we died?”
“No”
“Right”
“Right”
They looked at their core. Both had the same thoughts for they were one. In reality, it was nothing more than Jin talking to himself. The insanity of his mind simply brought about a second himself.
Moments later, the two Jin fused together.
Jin stood there, gazing at his core.
What path should he walk on now? What goal should he pursue? Was the peak truly worth reaching again? Was this pain and sorrow worth it? Was it really the right path?
He did not know anymore.
Ame showed him a different one.
Now she died and so did that path.
…
Jin opened his eyes to an unfamiliar wooden ceiling that looked extremely old and shabby. He looked around the room. There was a table on which two people were drunk sleeping. He recognized Nangua and Cheng.
How?
How could Nangua be…? He killed him! He…He killed Nangua!
He wanted to shake him awake, he wanted to make sure this was not a dream, he had to know!
However, he found himself unable to move.
As he gazed downwards, he saw himself chained. He could only see the dark chains binding his whole body, not leaving a speck of it to be seen through.
“What’s going on?” he whispered incredulously more to himself than another.
That’s when the door opened and Sarina entered.
Their gazes intertwined and she smiled.
She walked forward, took a seat and placed it next to the bed he was laying on. She spoke with a smile: “Glad to see you back, Jin”
Jin’s mouth opened but no sound came out of it. His thoughts were a mess as he had too many questions.
Sarina waved her hand at him to stop him from speaking and began: “First, please understand that after what happened at the Capital, we had to take some precautions about you”
“You were not in the greatest state back then…”
Jin nodded.
It was a fair point.
Sarina continued: “We left Vrislorin. We are going to settle in Sannhil”
Jin guessed: “So, this is a boat”
Sarina nodded.
She asked him: “What do you remember?”
Jin sank into silence as tears streamed down his face.
She said: “Take your time” as she pat the chains where his shoulder was supposed to be.
After a few minutes of silence, he spoke with a pained voice: “I killed her”
Sarina hugged him as he cried and caressed the back of his head as she tried to calm him down.
She said many times: “She’s alive, Jin, she’s alive”
She hoped to calm him. Instead, he began to shake and rage: “Don’t lie to me! I killed her! I did it! I pierced her heart!”
It was only a long time later that she believed him calm enough and helped him turn around to see the other bed on which Ame laid asleep.
“W-W-W-what?”
Sarina explained: “Nangua managed to save her though he had to demonize her. We don’t know when she will wake up but she is alive, Jin. She’s still alive”
Jin cried harder than he ever did.
The relief mixed with the pain. The despair mixed with hope.
And it created a stream of water that fell down his cheeks as his vocal cords produced different kinds of cries.
He could only thank the heavens repeatedly as he gazed at her sleeping figure.
He did not kill her.
She was alive.
And with him still.