“DUDE!” the beanie-wearing frogman exclaimed, his anger audible to the three-man group which sat around the fire located in the wet forest outside Calsh.
He was holding Zack up by the wrist as he exposed the bag of gold he discretely pocketed from their quests up until this point.
The look on Zachary’s face was somewhere between awkward and anxious.
“S-sorry about that!” he swiftly apologised.
And just like that, Zack was kicked out of his first group, on the first day no less.
“And there goes the be-a-good-person plan…” he thought.
Wondering alone through the thin, swampy forest in Calsh, Zack couldn’t help but smash his fist into one of the thick trees, cracking the bark a little and allowing a trickle of watery sap to escape it.
“Damn it!”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the pouch of gold coins.
“...”
“They said I might as well keep it…” he thought.
It would have been all too easy to relish in the depravity of keeping the stolen money with a smile, but was throwing away his remaining money a smart choice? Was that just an excuse?
He drew his arm back as if he wanted to plunge the small sack of gold coins into a nearby puddle of murky water before freezing in place.
In one swift motion he put the money back into his pocket safely.
“Alright, alright! Let’s not get hasty now!”
His decision, however logical, left him feeling even worse.
The human continued his journey to the nearby inn.
Several days later…
At one of the tables located near the edge of the inn sat a group of three adventurers.
“Come on! It’ll be fine! We can take it!” the human assured his party, he had brown hair and crimson eyes which radiated a confident look.
He wore generic armour that could be bought from any blacksmith back when this was a game.
“Jasper! We talked about this! We can’t take on a dungeon alone!” the female harpy exclaimed, she wore a white, baggy hat with a lime-green trim which matched her feathers.
She wore a white tunic over a black, long-sleeved shirt and brown shorts.
“We could at least give it a try!” he exclaimed, dawning a more forceful look.
The harpy clenched her fists, considering challenging the overconfident man to another duel.
“NO. WE CAN’T HANDLE A DUNGEON IN THREE PEOPLE!” she exclaimed again.
After a few seconds, the third party member gestured towards the washed-out husk of a human drunkenly laying at one of the tables in the inn.
It was Zachary.
“What about him, he’s also a regular here…” suggested the soft voice of the grey-green haired ogre, he wore a long, dark crimson hood with a yellow trim, the hood covered most of his face, not that his hair wouldn’t have done the same.
“I assumed he was dead…” admitted Jasper, narrowing his eyes and confirming that the man was in fact still breathing.
He folded his arms.
“I dunno… he looks like a pretty sketchy character.” he remarked uncertainly.
After a few seconds of glaring daggers at the grinning human, the female harpy stood up from her seat and approached Zachary.
It was as if everything around him was mysteriously drained of colour, those were the depths of despair Zack reached within the last week.
“Hey!” she began.
Zack didn’t reply.
“So - I couldn’t help but notice you drinking at the inn…”
“For the last few days…”
“Non-stop…”
Zack slowly turned to face the stranger with a listless glare.
“What do you want…?” he finally asked.
“Join our group!” she finally exclaimed.
The two stared at each other silently.
The sound of crackling wood came from the firewood in place of the usual crickets.
“No thanks…” Zack finally replied, tipping a bottle of alcohol in his general direction, allowing it to pour down onto the ground for a few seconds before dropping the bottle and looking over to the confused barkeep.
“Give me another…” he pleaded.
“...”
Curiously the barkeeper handed Zack another bottle.
Zack nodded, placing a few gold coins on the table before spilling the drink in the general vicinity of his mouth again.
The harpy watched the pathetic husk of a man apply another coating of beer onto the counter, at this point he absorbed more alcohol through his booze-soaked skin than his mouth.
“You… eh… feeling alright…?” she asked.
Zack let go of his face allowing it to slip into the puddle of beer from where only bubbles could be heard.
Cautiously, the harpy lifted the man up and placed him over her shoulder.
He didn’t even protest, the constant exposure to alcohol began to dissolve the skin on his forearm.
Moments later, the harpy returned to her party.
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“Alright! He agreed!” she exclaimed.
“He did?” the other two asked in unison, seeing the harpy carrying Zack like a sack of potatoes.
The next day…
The three and a half players returned from their boar-slaying quest.
“Nice work, everyone!” the harpy exclaimed.
The hooded ogre nodded.
“Right.”
Jasper was the only one who was dissatisfied with the results.
“How come he gets money for doing nothing?!” he demanded, pointing to Zack.
The harpy rolled her eyes.
“Well, it wouldn’t be fair for us to split the money we got because he was in our party.” she explained.
Reluctantly, Jasper breathed a sigh and dawned his usual grin.
“So, how about we go someplace nice later?” he asked, putting on a more playful tone.
The harpy looked at him with an insincere, apologetic look.
“Yeah, I think I’ll try and get this ‘Zack’ to talk today.” she replied, poking the half-awake man.
“I find it somewhat impressive that he remained silent this entire time…” the hooded ogre remarked.
The harpy laughed.
“Yeah, it’s definitely some sort of achievement!”
The next day…
The party entered the inn, covered head-to-toe in slime.
“No more slime quests…” the harpy stated, it was by no means a request.
The ogre shrugged.
“They taste fine…” he remarked, shovelling a handful of apple slime into his mouth.
Jasper burst into laughter.
“Quit being such babies about this! It’s just slime!” he exclaimed confidently, as if he was hoping his attitude was somehow endearing.
Zack breathed a sigh as he shambled beside the group and plopped onto the table with a wet slap.
“The slimes smelled like piss…” he lamented.
The slime immediately left the ogre’s mouth along with anything else he had eaten that day.
“HE CAN TALK!” Jasper exclaimed.
The harpy nodded.
“Duh… I think he’s just an introvert…” she shrugged.
Even now, as the group spoke, Zack’s mind was flooded with the thoughts of betraying them, taking their gold.
What would happen if he escaped mid-fight, it’s not like he wanted them to get hurt, did he?
“Oi! Say something!” Jasper demanded, slamming his fists on the table.
Reluctantly, Zack looked up to meet Jasper’s hateful gaze.
“Flight me!” he commanded.
“...”
Zack clenched his fists.
“No.” he replied bluntly.
“I challenge you over the hand of female-harpy!” he exclaimed with confidence of a god.
“...”
“I did not agree to that…” the female harpy replied.
“Also I do have a name…” she added, visibly irate.
Jasper flicked his hair.
“Backing out is not an option! We will fight either way!” he declared.
Jasper breathed a sigh, for the first time since he joined their party, he sought some sort of input from the others.
The ogre shrugged.
“Are you seriously going to bully someone weaker than you?! That’s pathetic!” she exclaimed.
Unfazed by the insult, Jasper continued to point his finger at Zack who eventually relented.
“Alright…” he agreed.
“NOT YOU TOO!” cried the harpy.
The ogre didn’t comment.
“Let’s play rock-paper-scissors…” Zack suggested.
The table went quiet once again.
“What?…” Jasper asked.
Zack raised his fist.
“You have to either go with rock, paper or scissors…” he explained.
“Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors and scissors beat paper…”
“I KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME, RETARD!” Jasper replied, stomping over to Zack and grabbing him by the wrist.
Quickly, Zack’s hand slipped out from Jasper’s hand thanks to the slime covering him.
“Oops…” he remarked in a monotone.
“HEY!” Jasper grabbed the emotionless man by the hand again, failing to get a solid grip on it.
“OI!”
He tried grabbing Zack’s shoulder.
Slip.
His shirt.
Slip.
Eventually the irate man grabbed a hold of Zack’s neck.
Before he even had a chance to feel his grip loosen, Zachary’s hand moved on its own, pushing Jasper to the floor where the slime caused him to slide across the wooden planks, straight into a wall.
“Oops…” Zack replied, his face turning red with embarrassment over the incident.
“DAMN IT!” he thought.
“AGAIN!”
With that, Zack stood up.
“I’ll be right back…” he said bluntly, not fearing the blisteringly angry looks he received from Jasper.
“Looks like I can’t even risk wallowing at an inn…” he realized, quickly stepping out of the inn and heading in the direction of the surrounding woods.
“If I head towards Grimwood… the won’t follow me…” he reasoned, taking a step forward before feeling a considerably stronger grip grab him from behind.
“Where do you think you’re going?” questioned the harpy.
Zack gestured into the forest wordlessly.
The harpy pinched the bridge of her nose.
“I had a feeling that you were planning to disappear into the night!” she replied with an understanding nod.
He looked down to his feet, feeling the regret boiling up to the surface.
“I’ve hurt him…” Zack said, thinking back to Jasper.
“I mean, yeah, but he had it coming.” she replied.
Zack shook his head.
“I wanted to be a better person, but no matter where I go I always mess it up…” he finally said.
He wasn’t sure why he was telling the Harpy this, maybe he just wanted to get it off his chest.
The harpy cracked a smile.
“What, were you some serial killer in real life?” she asked jokingly.
The lack of a reply left her somewhat worried.
“It’s complicated.” he finally said.
The fact he didn’t outright confirm it came as some relief.
And so the two talked, little by little they got to know each other a bit more.
“There isn’t a totally perfect person out there, y’know! Just be yourself!” she offered.
Zack breathed a sigh.
They both sat cross-legged outside the inn now.
“That’s the thing… I don’t want to be myself… this is a different world, a new chance… a-” he was cut off.
“A fresh start?” she asked, guessing the words he was looking for.
Zack nodded.
After some contemplation, the harpy leaned back against the wall of the inn.
“Just… don’t be a cunt, I guess…” she finally said.
Zack raised both eyebrows, as if he expected the harpy to elaborate.
“I mean… your problem was that you were afraid of your cuntiness carrying over… so just don’t be a cunt! That’s it!”
While the two talked, Jasper watched from above one of the windows, he was gritting his teeth, incapable of accepting the fact he wasn’t the centre of the harpy’s attention.
The next day…
“What the hell is that?” Jasper demanded, gesturing to the black band drawn in magic ink upon Zack’s wrist.
The ogre silently ate a loaf of cheese-bread as the harpy and Jasper bickered.
“I combined the art skill with some magic to make a new spell!” she explained.
“HOW COME HE GETS A PRESENT!?” Jasper demanded.
He turned towards the ogre.
“THAT’S NOT FAIR, RIGHT?!”
The ogre shrugged.
“Zack won your ‘duel’ - now, as it turns out, I’m fairly attached to my hands, so I gave him a magic band instead.” she explained.
Zack listened the fight awkwardly, he couldn’t help but feel like an extra wheel.
“AS THE PARTY LEADER, I DEMAND YOU MAKE ME A MAGIC TATTOO THING, TOO!” Jasper exclaimed.
Everyone at the table shot Jasper a look of pity.
“I- I meant us!” he corrected himself, gesturing to the ogre who continued to eat his food quietly.
“Oh yeah? Well I vote we promote Zack to the leader of the party!” she exclaimed.
Zack felt his heart drop.
“WHAT!?” Jasper lifted his fists and approached Zack.
“YOU SON OF A BITCH!”
He planted a solid punch right in Zachary’s face, despite the force that went behind it, Zack didn’t move, he took the force of the impact head-on.
The hit caused a rumble to radiate downwards into the ground.
He react as the trickle of his own blood began to stream down his face.
“I… I did it…”
He began to smile.
“I DID IT! I DIDN’T RETALIATE!”
“Just like him…” Zack thought, imagining the bearded silhouette of a certain past teacher of his.
“ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME, ASSHOLE!?” he demanded, pulling his fist back again, before it made contact with Zack again, it went limp as the ogre cast a weakness spell on Jasper, much to his annoyance.
“I think we should probably call it a day for today…” the ogre suggested.
Later that night…
The harpy walked outside of the inn where she knew she would find Zacl.
“Sup,” she said, waving a greeting at the man who practically jumped from his non-existent seat as he heard her speak.
“Ah!”
She paused.
“Were you… in the middle of something?” she questioned.
Zack breathed a sigh to calm his nerves.
“Nothing much…” he finally said.
He gestured to his wrist where his simple band was replaced with an intricate watch.
“...”
“You realize this is permanent?” she asked.
“Well… yeah…” he replied confidently.
He did not.
“You weren’t fond of the simplistic design, eh?” she asked, cracking a smile.
“It’s not that!” he exclaimed immediately.
He scratched his head.
“Well, it’s just that I was hoping to learn how to use the magic tattoos…” he finally said, his worst fear became true as a smug grin spread across the harpy’s face.
“Oh my, Zachary, could it be that you wish to bestow a gift upon me?” she asked.
After a few awkward seconds, the harpy breathed a sigh.
“As long as you don’t plan to draw a dick or an ad or something, you’re free to put something on my right hand.” she offered.
“R-Right! I’ll make sure it’s not something awful!” he exclaimed with new-found determination.
Even later that night…
Jasper slowly got out of his bet with a crazed look in his eyes.
“This… is my… fantasy…” he muttered to himself.
He made his way past the bed of the ogre who had a small skull painted on his forehead in blood, he was dead for hours already, killed in his sleep.
Jasper gritted his teeth as his face became even redder.
“I had nothing back home… this was meant to be my adventure!”
“This was meant to be my party…”
“My friends…”
“My power…”
“My harem…”
The “protagonist” that was Jasper crept his way into Zachary’s room only to find it empty.
Upon entering the harpy’s room, Jasper found it also empty.
“Where did they go…?” he asked.
The innkeeper rushed up the stairs to find the source of the commotion only to be stamped with a skull stamp.
Seconds later, he died.
“WHERE ARE YOU, HARPY!? ZACK!?” he called out.
Hearing their voices below, Jasper headed down the stairs towards them.
“ZACK!” he laughed.
“I CHALLENGE YOU TO ANOTHER DUEL!”
“A PROPER ONE THIS TIME!”
The human cocked his head.
“What’s gotten into you, Jasper?” he demanded.
Jasper reached into his pocket and pulled out the last painted paper.
“Don’t worry, Zack… I made this one slower and much… much more painful, just for you…” he cackled.
In an instant, he lunged at Zack with the piece of paper.
Far from the perfected weapon he wielded months later.
In a flash, Zachary jumped before the Harpy, he drew his weapon from within his sleeve, even with the limited experience Zack had with PVP, he was still more than qualified to counter a half-assed strike from a visibly insane man.
He didn’t even consider if he would regret this, if he would go back to moistening some inn’s counter with cheap beer.
Unable to put his sentiment into words, Zack simply knew that as long as the harpy was alive, he could figure something out.
Unfortunately, this sentiment was not shared by the green-feathered harpy who swiftly jumped between the two.
Swiftly, she smacked the weapons out of Zack’s hand as she was branded by Jasper’s skull.
The very instant it happened, the three all wore varying levels of shock.
It was as if a bomb went off in the room, Jasper fled eagerly, leaving only Zack and the harpy who fell into his arms in a sick inversion of their meeting.
Shocked, confused, terrified, Zack looked at the harpy.
“Wait… that’s not…”
“You weren’t supposed to do that!”
His voice was starting to break, turning more winy as he desperately looked around the room for god knows what.
Through the blistering pain, the dying harpy reached out towards Zack, her hand was intercepted by Zack before it even made it half way.
“We talked about this…” she replied through pained breaths.
“You weren’t mean to start… being a cunt…”
She put on a forced smile.
“No, hold one! Wait! JUST HANG ON A SECOND!” he was about to get up and search for some magic poison-curing booze or whatever he hoped could help in an inn before he was grabbed by the harpy.
“I know you tried your best there…” she muttered.
“So just keep trying a while longer, ok…?” the harpy asked before her eyes finally glazed over.