"Hurry up!" Felix exclaimed.
"I'm coming!" Bromy replied, he seemed terrified by the idea of performing an assassination.
One could consider this situation, surreal.
They were sitting outside the office, Dylan and Alex were still inside.
Felix was meant to stay in the office for the night since Alex and Dylan were meant to be out in search for Bromy.
Felix pointed to the massive pile of trash next to the office. It was taller than a human.
"Hide in there, when I give you the signal, you'll come in through the window and help me kill the girl!"
Bromy followed Felix's gaze and saw the rat-infested pile of trash he wanted him to hide behind.
"No way! That's disgusting!" Bromy protested in a hushed tone.
"This pussy-Bromy is really getting on my nerves..." Felix thought.
"Look, Bromy! You have to hide somewhere! Do you know another place?!" Felix asked with crossed arms.
Bromy remained silent for a bit before the let out a sigh.
"No... no, I don't..." he relented.
Reluctantly, Bromy went over the disgusting pile of trash it was covered in rats both dead and alive.
The scent was putrid, far worse than the smell of mid-summer trash piles.
Felix entered the office.
Inside, Alex and Dylan stood and awaited Felix.
"You made it! Good..." Dylan sighed.
"Yeah... are you guys going to be back before sunrise?" asked Felix.
"I'll probably go get some sleep if we don't find him," Alex replied.
Dylan nodded.
"Me too."
"Alright, I don't mind pulling an all-nighter!" Felix laughed.
"I brought stamina potions!" he added.
"Yeah, sorry for putting you on the spot like that... but the murderer could strike any moment, after all, they'd have all night to do it!" Dylan said apologetically.
"Oh, it won't take that long!" Felix assured him.
"Hmm?" Dylan hmm'd.
"SHIT."
"I'm sure the killer would just get it done as fast as possible!" Felix explained.
Dylan shook his head with a smile.
"Poor, innocent Felix - clearly, you don't understand the mindset of a murderer!" he laughed.
"Guess not!" Felix laughed.
He felt strangely offended at that remark.
The two left, locking the doors behind them.
Felix waited for ten minutes before walking down to the mortuary.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring.
It was bound to his body, much like Alex could keep Thal beside him and not on his body, Felix could keep the ring in a pocket or locket, but it would teleport onto his finger if he went too far.
"I'll murder the girl and Bromy, with any luck, Alex will leave..."
"Hell, maybe he'll go get some backup? Maybe I'll leave then?"
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"Bromy's an alright guy... but he's too scary to befriend..."
Felix walked up to the mortuary window and opened it.
"Come in!" he instructed.
Bromy quickly crawled in the window.
Felix closed it and looked to Bromy.
"Alright! Let's get started!"
They walked upstairs, Felix manifested a dagger, while Bromy held a scalpel.
"I have no idea if she's a magic-user or not... so I can't be certain things will go smoothly..."
"That's why I need Bromy to go first... he's my throwaway life..."
Felix gestured to the room.
Bromy looked at him in shock.
"She's in there! Go for the kill!" he said in a hushed tone.
"Me?!" Bromy demanded.
"WE TALKED ABOUT THIS! YES, YOU!"
Bromy took a deep breath as with a shaky hand he reached for the door.
Slowly he creaked forward.
He placed his unsteady hand on the metal doorknob and twisted it.
"Who's there?" asked Violet.
Her voice cut through the silence making Bromy jump.
Panicked, Bromy looked to Felix who gestured to his neck.
Bromy raised an eyebrow.
Once again, Felix made the slashing motion on his neck.
"I'm... the tooth fairy..." Bromy said uncertainly.
The room went silent.
The hallway went silent.
The building went silent.
"What?" Violet asked.
Bromy shut the door.
He looked to Felix who looked dumbfounded.
"What... the fuck... did he just say?"
Felix grabbed Bromy by the collar.
"TOOTH FAIRY?!" he mouthed.
Bromy shrugged.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Bromy mouthed back.
Felix let out a deep breath.
He pinched the bridge of his nose as he heard Violet's footsteps from her room.
"Who is there?!" she demanded.
In a moment of panic, he took off his coat and placed it on Bromy's back, he took away his glasses punched him in the gut causing Bromy to hunch forward.
The door burst open.
"WHO IS THIS!?" Violet demanded.
Felix was standing next to the hunched over Bromy, he was squinting because of the lack of glasses, his body was covered in the coat.
"The hunchback of Notre-Dumb broke into the office, I'm escorting him out!" Felix assured her.
"What?" she asked.
"Don't worry! He's not the killer or anything - we're just looking for a bell-tower guy! Go back to sleep!" Felix laughed dragging Bromy away.
"What the hell!?" she asked as the still laughing Felix retreated into the darkness with the hunchback.
When they returned to the mortuary, Felix let go of Bromy.
"Hey! What was that for?!" Bromy asked.
"For being stupid! Tooth fairy!? She's a grown-ass woman!" Felix exclaimed.
Bromy looked embarrassed.
"I'm sorry! I was panicking!"
"Ok... look here! Don't do anything stupid... For future reference, make sure you disguises are age-appropriate!" Felix instructed.
He looked around the room.
"While we're here, grab a sack... we'll put her body in it and leave it outside the door or something..." Felix commanded.
After Bromy grabbed the sack they snuck their way up again.
Bromy stood next to the door.
His hands trembled more than before.
He grabbed onto the handle, it began to shake with his hand.
"Felix?" asked the woman on the other side.
Panicked, Bromy looked to Felix who face-palmed with a loud smack.
"REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU, DAMN IT! KILL HER QUICKLY!" Felix looked at Bromy with a telling stare.
Bromy nodded, he straightened his back and put on a voice.
"I am your student loans!" Bromy exclaimed thinking of something age-appropriate to a woman in her twenties.
"YOU FOLLOWED ME OUT TO THIS WORLD!?" demanded the girl as she began stomping towards the door.
Felix grabbed onto Bromy, placing him in the sack he told Bromy to bring.
Violet flung the door open.
"SHOW YOURSELF!" she exclaimed holding onto a candlestand like a mace.
Felix was holding the sack of Bromy over his shoulder.
"Don't worry! I got them, the loans were on their way to the incinerator! You can go back to sleep!" Felix assured her, once more retreating into the mortuary.
Once he got there, he tossed the sack to the ground.
"DUDE!" he exclaimed.
"What! I was being age-appropriate!" Bromy argued.
"YOU WERE MEANT TO KILL HER!" Felix exclaimed.
Bromy let out a sigh.
"Maybe you should just do it!" he replied.
Felix grabbed onto Bromy.
"Look here! I bet she's already suspicious! I don't want to make any noise with my gun, but if you don't get your shit together I will shoot you!" Felix warned.
"A-A-Alright, relax!" Bromy pleaded shakily.
He took a deep breath.
He looked around the mortuary.
"Well, who should I impersonate?!" Bromy asked with folded arms.
Felix let out a sigh.
"I don't know! Somebody important!" Felix replied.
Bromy scratched his head.
"Alright, I think I got it..." he grabbed a bottle of black ink off the nearby table and walked upstairs, followed by Felix.
He was filled with new-found courage as he walked right up to the door, he looked to Felix and gave him a thumbs up.
Felix was filled with a sense of pride, even though he only knew this Bromy for one day, he felt like they've made it through so much.
Like Felix and this Bromy just completed the shortest character arc in existence.
This pride immediately faded away as Bromy poured the entire bottle of ink on his face and smeared it on.
Before Felix could react, Bromy knocked on the door leaving a black knuckle-print.
"W-who is it?" asked Violet.
"This is B*rack Obama-" Felix smacked Bromy over the head.
"WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!? DO YOU WANT US CANCELLED ALREADY!?" Felix demanded.
"What?!" Bromy demanded.
"YOU- YOU DID THE- YOU CAN'T..." Felix was stumbling over his words as Violet opened the door.
She looked as Felix choking someone in the dark.
"...what... are you doing?" she asked.
Felix gestured to Bromy.
"I caught this person impersonating Ob*ma!"
Violet looked at Felix and the face-painted man with a look of disgust as she slowly closed the door, not wanted to hear more of whatever they were doing.
Felix sat in the mortuary with his head in his hands, sweating like crazy.
"Great... just great... MrBadWithNames couldn't have picked a better time for that joke!" Felix thought.
"I can already feel it... the void of forgotten characters..."
"He made some risky jokes before... but this..."
"F-Felix?" asked Bromy.
Felix looked over to Bromy.
"What?!"
"I think I have an idea!" Bromy exclaimed.
"...what?" Felix asked.
Moments later, Violet heard knocking on her door.
She opened the door and saw Bromy with a fake-moustache and Felix standing next to her with a piece of paper containing various statistics.
"...what... are you guys doing?" she asked.
Felix scratched his head.
"W-well... I... just wanted to make sure you knew our stance on diversity and cooperation!" Felix explained.
"I... see... what does this have to do with... anything?" she asked.
"Look, man, we're kind of in a tough situation..." Felix began.
She raised an eyebrow.
"What happened?"
"We... made a joke..." he explained.
"A joke?" she asked.
"Y-yeah... you know, haha, comedy story, add jokes... and y'know..." Felix scratched his head.
"One was kind of... offensive..."
"So... why do you need my help?" she asked.
Felix too a deep breath.
"Do you think you could like... go sleep with some women or something?"
The room went silent.
"What?" Violet asked red-faced.
"I mean, if we get a more diverse cast, people will look over the joke!" Felix exclaimed.
Violet let out a sigh.
"Can't you just have faith in our readers to understand that this is a comedy story and not insult their intelligence with cheap reactions to show 'how bad X is' ?" Violet asked.
Felix grabbed her by the collar.
"WHAT KIND OF FANTASY WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN!?" he demanded.
"Nobody comes to fantasy stories for political commentaries!" Violet exclaimed pushing Felix away.
He fell to the ground and began rocking back and forward.
"I don't want to go back to not-existing..." he repeated this over and over.
"Maybe I should have gone for T*ump?" Bromy asked.
"If you don't cut that shit out, I'll make you JFK!" Felix thought cradling a gun.
And so Violet's murder was postponed by twenty-four hours.