"I can't believe she actually made us go..." Bromy complained, they were sitting on the back of Pedecree's cart, beside him sat Alex and Thal.
Curstl made them go investigate the perma-killing of over forty people.
The light of the setting sun bathed the world in shades of crimson and amber.
In the distance stood rolling hills and forests, every now and then they'd come across a small town, sometimes empty, sometimes brimming with life.
The shadow from the leaves above coated the cart was punctured by stray rays of light.
"Mm, maybe they have some interesting shops..." Alex wondered.
"Shouldn't you two focus on the murderer?" Thal and Pedecree asked in unison.
"I doubt he'll be all that big of a deal..." Bromy replied to both with a shrug.
"I am interested in what the capital of Arlepia is up to... I bet players flocked there," he added.
"I mean, he's probably not even a psychopath, most likely just an edgelord who doesn't realise these people are... well... real people," Bromy speculated.
"Still a murderer... in fact, he'll probably ignore your reasoning and continue killing people..." Bromy replied.
"Then I'll kill him." Bromy replied.
"Do you guys think I should get a hat?" asked Alex patting his hair.
"Alex!" Thal barked.
"What?!" he demanded.
"Totally, a bucket hat would fit you," Bromy nodded before lighting a cigarette.
"No, like - what about a top hat?" he asked.
"What kind of swordsman wears a hat?!" demanded Thal.
"...well, what about King Arthur?" asked Alex.
"Didn't he wear a crown?" asked Bromy.
"No, didn't the story go..."
Alex began telling his tale...
A long long time ago...
In a distant, fantastical world-
Alex's tale was cut off by Bromy, "Britain..."
He let out a sigh.
Alex cleared his throat.
Alex began telling his tale... again...
A long long time ago...
In the distant land of Britain lived a young boy by the name Arthur...
He was poor or something so he was homeless.
"Arthur wasn't homeless, I don't think..." Pedecree said keeping his eyes on the road ahead.
"Guys! Let me finish the story!" Alex said crossing his arms.
"Alright, go ahead," Pedecree said as Alex continued.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
"King Arthur-" Alex was once more cut off by Bromy.
"He wasn't the king at this point..."
"..."
"What do you mean!? You don't refer to the queen of England as Lizzy when talking about the time before she was the queen!" Alex exclaimed.
"But you just spoiled the ending! Now I know he's going to be a king!" Bromy exclaimed visibly upset.
"WE REFERRED TO HIM AS KING ARTHUR ALREADY!" Alex exclaimed.
"What if he ran a burger joint? Like Bu*ger king, except, King Arthur?" Bromy suggested.
"What part of 'King Arthur' makes it sound like a restaurant?" asked Alex with a twitching brow.
"...you're right, what if the restaurant served Arthur?" Bromy speculated.
"What...?"
"Like, B*rger king serves burgers..."
"So king Arthur servers Arthur...!" Bromy covered his mouth as he said this.
"KING ARTHUR DIDN'T START A RESTAURANT FOR CANNIBALS!" Alex exclaimed.
"AND EVEN IF HE DID, WHY WOULD HE SERVE HIMSELF!?"
"...yeah... you're right..." Bromy agreed.
"Unless..."
"King Arthur was actually depressed and wanted to die!" Bromy exclaimed as if he uncovered some dark mystery.
"..."
"..."
"Anyway..." Alex began telling his story once more.
The homeless boy called Ki-... Arthur, went over to this one lake-"
"To commit suicide by drowning himself!" Bromy exclaimed.
"STOP IT!" Alex said visibly flustered.
"Ugh... we all know the story of King Arthur, I'm just trying to make it more fun!" Bromy said dismissively.
"At least let me finish, Thal doesn't know who Arthur is!" Alex looked to Thal who let out a sigh.
"Yeah, he's right... I'm just so... interested..." Thal agreed reluctantly.
"Fine, fine, go ahead..." Bromy said looking out into the distance, not planning to listen to Alex's story.
Alex attempted to tell his story...
Arthur went over to this one lake and found a dead chick with a sword-
Once again, he was interrupted, this time by Pedecree.
"Wait, what if Arthur's business didn't serve him as food... but rather as... an escort?" he suggested.
"Arthur was a prostitute!?" demanded Bromy.
"So your ideal warrior is a depressed, suicidal prostitute running a questionable business?" asked Thal.
"No! King Arthur found a sword and... ehh..." Alex froze up, he forgot the rest of the story.
"Yeah?" asked Bromy.
"...well..."
"Then he tossed that sword away and went to pull a cooler one of the rock?" Alex said faking confidence.
"Wow..." Bromy remarked.
"I never knew Arthur tossed out Excalibur in favour of Excalibur..." Bromy said faking shock.
"Excalibur?" asked Thal.
"It's this magic sword, long, slender blade, sometimes depicted with gems, usually gold or silver in colour," explained Alex.
"..."
Thal's blade turned a shade redder.
"...Alex... is... is your sword blushing?!" Bromy demanded.
"What!?" Alex looked at Thal in shock before a stupid grin spread across his face.
"So that's your type, eh?" he asked.
"S-shut up! I'm a demon king temporarily trapped in the sword!"
"I always thought he'd be into some massive weeaboo swords..." Bromy remarked.
"Don't worry, buddy, we'll find you a nice sword to... ehh... y'know... stand beside, when we get to town!" Alex said shooting Thal a thumbs up.
Meanwhile...
Deep under the sea, on the sunken continent.
Arthur turned away from the meeting table and sneezed.
"Did you catch a cold?" asked Grim while tuning his guitar.
"I... don't think so?" Arthur replied wiping his nose with his sleeve.
"Guess someone must have mentioned you in a conversation..." JohnWillSmart remarked.
"Yeah... that's a weird superstition..." Arthur remarked before turning back towards the meeting table.
"Anyway, let's get back to business!" he exclaimed.
"Right..." JohnWillSmart nodded.
Meanwhile in Glumington...
The man walked on the cobblestone road, he wore a baby-blue shirt with a black coat over it and murky-green trousers.
"Today's finally the day!" he thought excitedly.
His hair was medium in length and light green in colour.
In his hand was a paper bag, in it were a few vegetables and a bottle of cheap booze as well as a bunch of flowers.
The lamps were already turned on, they did that automatically when it got too dark.
That's when he heard it, step, step step.
Behind him walked someone, they bigger than him in every way, muscles, height and even intimidation factor.
Their clothes were obscured, only their hair remained visible, it was muddy green and covered the person's face.
The man with the paper bag looked forward, a chill ran down his spine.
"...scary..." he thought as he kept walking forward.
Step. Step. Step.
He quickened his pace.
"Relax, Felix... relax... you've lived here safely for this long..." the man thought as he made a turn to the left.
Step. Step. Step.
The intimidating figure followed him.
He looked back slowly and saw the glint of a blade against the light of the lamps.
"Oh no..." Felix thought as he began walking even faster.
"Not today! I still have to meet with her!" Felix decided to forgo his looks and broke into a sprint, the person behind him did the same.
He took a sharp turn to the right.
The cobblestone road becoming rougher, filled with puddles.
The lamps lighting up the scene became more sparse, trash and empty homes lined the walls, rats ran wild as Felix sprinted through the wet alley.
"I'm almost there!" Felix thought as he turned right and saw the familiar door to his home.
He felt a sharp pain in his right leg as a spear flew his way, digging into his calf and pinning him against the ground.
He let out a cry of pain through clenched teeth as he fell to the ground.
"AGHHHH!"
The attacked came close to Felix, in his hand was an oddly shaped axe, it was short and pointy.
Moments later the attacker fell to the ground as though his chest flew a blade.
"Y-you... bastard..." the long-haired man croaked.
Felix pulled the spear out of his leg and retrieved his blade from the man's torso.
As the man with the hole in his torso bled, Felix dragged him towards his coal shaft, he opened it and threw the man inside, his body falling limply into Felix's basement.
Felix breathed a sigh of relief as he entered his house.
He adjusted the demon-king holding ring that he wore upon his index finger as he closed the door, he placed his groceries down beside the mirror that stood next to the house's entrance.
"That was close..." he thought breathing a sigh of relief.
"Now then... it's about time for our 'date' I suppose!" he said hearing the muffled cries from his basement.
He locked his door, then pulled on his handle to make sure it was closed for sure before unlocking and re-locking the door.
"Can't be too safe!" he said with a smile as he turned towards the steps leading to his basement.
He made his way down and opened the wooden door revealing the bare woman laying on a wooden table, she looked like a mix between a biology teacher's dissection project and a butcher's test-animal.
Lumps of flesh missing, the wounds treated perfectly to assure her survival.
Her skin was missing in places.
Several of her fingers and toes were missing or at least severely mutilated.
A blank yet characteristically living look was in her bloodshot eyes.
"Hello, my dear!" Felix exclaimed placing the bunch of flowers beside her gruesome form.