Bonifacius and Bromy sat in the guild base, they were just done watching the video that ruined JohnWillStab's career.
Bonifacius: So, I suppose JohnWillStab was an important person before! he exclaimed.
Bromy: Yup, look at these. he sent Bonifacius another link bringing Bonifacius to a list of dozens of articles about JohnWillNotStab, calling him all sorts of things from a "neo-nazi" to a "bigot" and whatnot.
Bonifacius: What are these people speaking of! Have they not seen the video JohnWillStab made?! How could they accuse them of such a thing!?
Bromy: That's how the media works, Bony. he laughed.
Bonifacius was starting to feel a burning feeling of guilt.
Bonifacius: How could we leave JohnWillStab alone after all this?!
Bromy tried to stop Bonifacius but it was too late.
Bromy: Actually, he left us, remember?
Bonifacius: Tis no time to point fingers! We must find him and be there for him as friends!
Bromy let out a loud sigh.
Bromy: How, he privated his friends list, remember?
Bonifacius stood up and headed towards the door.
Bonifacius: I have no idea! he announced.
He sat back down.
Bromy sent Bonifacius another link.
Bromy: Here look at this one.
Bonifacius clicked on the link and was brought to a video which was created several years before the previous one.
The video was titled "Civ 12 | one city vs rest of world max difficulty challenge!"
Bonifacius played the video and watched.
One single city labelled "JohnWillNotStabia Level 1" stood there, a single "worker" unit stood beside it.
"Alright, you guys know the drill, let me just..." JohnWillStab proceeded to click around the screen the unit was sent to build a farm as he started the construction of another worker in the city.
Once the worker was ready he made him begin the construction of a barracks, the other worker got to work building a "houses" tile which allowed for a larger population.
As soon as the barracks were created JohnWillStab started production of the basic "caveman warrior" unit, creating ten, he received a warning saying his current population only allowed for five.
He dismissed the warning and ordered the worker to build more houses bumping his unit limit.
This pattern continued before he looked over to the live-chat on the right side of the screen.
"Why do you only make cavemen? You should invest in spearmen already!"
JohnWillStab read the message out-loud before giving his reply, "Since my units are under-levels they don't register as a big threat to the computer enemies, so I can just rush them later with a massive force." he explained.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Meanwhile...
A massive force of mind-controlled players charged into the last remaining town in Godsrest, the battle forwarded by Mobleous and RuRet while JohnWillStab was finishing his levelling.
RuRet: Mobleius! Cover me! RuRet commanded before looking over to Mobleous who gave him a nod as he charged into the front lines using his magic to entangle the players with black tendrils which slowly drained their health.
A dagger-user player snuck up behind him and was about to assassinate RuRet before a bullet pierced their arm separating his hand and dagger from his arm.
RuRet: Thanks!
Mobleous gave him a thumbs up before taking another shot taking off the dagger-users other arm.
The army of players rushed over abducting the NPCs and carrying them over to another NPC who was tasked with tying them up and leading them back to the main base where they would be given the choice of living under "Urmom" or being escorted out of "Urmom's" land.
Back in the "Log From Tentacle Online" base, Bonifacius was watching the video, JohnWillStab amassed an army of sixty basic caveman units as well as a dozen or so more powerful units, that being swordsmen and archers.
"See, now with this many troops the other NPCs will move in, they'll be fighting off the cavemen while the more powerful units move through the cave-man-maze and pick off the enemies, then we rush them one city at a time and leave one or two strong units to guard our newly acquired land!" he explained.
Bonifacius: Such a genius strategy!
Bromy: I know, right, I actually played the game he's playing in the video, though I never managed to beat the computer on normal...
Bonifacius though back to their time in the dungeon, where JohnWillStab was coming up with a strategy to kill the murder golem and all the times he made quick decisions that save their party.
Bonifacius: Now I'm convinced that's him!
Bromy: That makes us both, but I still have no idea where to find him.
XxFoxlyxX walked through the front door carrying bags of various items.
XxFoxlyxX: Hey guys, mind helping me out here, I can't carry all this stuff alone!
Bonifacius rushed over picked up about half of the bags by himself.
Bromy: what the hell did you by?
XxFoxlyxX: Hehe, some guy's allegedly mind-controlling people up north and making a giant army to take over Godsrest on town at a time, so the auction house is out of wack for a while! he explained.
Bromy: You still didn't tell me what you bought.
XxFoxlyxX: Oh, it's just Mossback kidneys. he explained.
A while of silence filled the room as they both looked at XxFoxlyxX.
XxFoxlyxX: Come on guys, this is far from the weirdest thing I bought in bulk. he replied with a sigh.
Bromy: Here watch this. he said before sending Foxly a link to the JohnWillNotStab video.
After watching it XxFoxlyxX returned.
XxFoxlyxX: Heh, cool video, why'd you send it?
Bromy: Look at the publisher name.
XxFoxlyxX looked over to the publisher name and saw it was published by "JohnWillNotStab".
XxFoxlyxX: ...
Bromy: ...
Bonifacius: Hold on, are thou thinking JohnWillStab is behind this!?
Bromy: I mean, yeah... who else would be dumb enough to try something like that?
XxFoxlyxX: Their guild is called "Urmom" by the way.
Bromy: It is absolutely JohnWillStab's doing.
Bonifacius: Then, what shall we do!?
Bromy leaned back in his chair.
Bromy: That's the question... do we help him out because he's our friend, or do we stop him since... you know mind-controlling is kind of shady.
XxFoxlyxX: Let's whoop his a#* and then become friends again once he's over his edgy phase! XxFoxlyxX suggested.
Bromy: Sounds like a plan!
Bonifacius: ...As much as I hate to admit it... perhaps thou are correct... JohnWillStab has strayed from the path of good, we must correct his path, not as foes but as friends!
Bromy: I can be both.
XxFoxlyxX: though... there is still one problem...
Bromy: What is it?
XxFoxlyxX: Can't he just mind-control us?
Bromy: ...
XxFoxlyxX: ...
Bonifacius: John would do no such thing to his friends!
Both Bromy and XxFoxlyxX played the /raised eyebrows emote.
Bromy: Then how about we find the cheater first?
XxFoxlyxX: I tried looking for her but it's as if she disappeared from the game altogether.
Bromy: I have a crazy idea.
Bonifacius: Oh now... I am terrified...
Brom smiled a wide toothy grind as the evil idea came into action.
He opened the global chat and just typed, Bromy: Hey crown, we're planning on beating JohnWillStab's a#*. are you down?
Both XxFoxlyxX and Bonifacius looked at him with disappointment as a reply came to him from ♕.
♕: Sure, I'll be at the guild base in twenty minutes.
Bonifacius: Bromy.. thou realise that could have been like three chapters on its own?
Bromy shrugged.
Bromy: This is not time to ignore logic like we did that one NPC called "???"
Bonifacius: Oh, speaking of which, what happened to "???"?
Meanwhile in the void of unused/forgotten characters.
"???" floated around in the darkness surrounded by NPCs and Players alike.
"They'll come back for me... I'm sure they will..." they thought to themselves as they faded deeper into the darkness.
XxFoxlyxX: I'm sorry, what were we talking about?
Bromy: Who knows, it's time to get the team back together and beat JohnWillStab for his own good! he laughed before lighting another pseudo-cigarette.
Bonifacius, Bromy and XxFoxlyxX headed outside and got prepared to greet ♕ when she arrived, little did they expect she would arrive with a party member of her own.
They walked through the desert as in the distance the walls and homes of what was once their guild-base and was now essentially a city stood out like a sore thumb.
Lorb: Are we there yet?
♕: LORB I SWEAR TO FUC#*NG GOD, IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP I WILL KILL YOU!