The rays of sunlight woke JohnWillStab up from his slumber, Bonifacius refused to take up space on the couch, as such he was sleeping on the floor.
Steroid-Foxly was still knocked out... they might have killed him...
"Oh good, I'm still alive," JohnWillStab replied trying to sit up only to fall down to the ground.
"What the hell!?" he exclaimed propping himself up with his shoulder, he realized his left hand was completely numb, that was probably for the best since him falling onto it a second ago twisted his fingers into a weird position.
He stood up and headed over to the bathroom where he saw Pedecree sleeping in the bathtub.
"I know we're short on beds but..." He shook his head as he quietly turned on the tap letting the hot water flow over the hand so as to help his circulation.
"That's odd... still numb." he increased the water temperature until he saw the steam rising, but his hand remained numb.
He moved his other hand over to untangle his (clearly broken) fingers only to find them extremely stiff.
He rushed out of the bathroom and to the kitchen where he opened his drawer, pulled out a knife and took a deep breath before piercing his skin only for no blood flow out.
"Looks dead to me," Bromy replied climbing out of the oven.
"..."
"There was a shortage of beds, and the look on your guys' faces was worth the crippling back pain," Bromy announced smugly before stretching as his back cracked loudly enough to wake Pedecree.
"Your choice of sleeping area aside, you're right, my left arm is dead!" JohnWillStab announced.
"Yeah, and now you have two days to make sure the poisoned blood doesn't reach the rest of you," Bromy said patting him on the back before heading to the living room to wake the others up.
"Wait! How do I do that?" He asked.
"Chop the arm off," Bromy advised him with a shrug.
"C-chop it off?" JohnWillStab asked hesitantly.
"Right," Bromy reached into his coat pulling out a scalpel.
"I can cut it off for you right now." Bromy offered.
"Wait! What if it'll hurt!?" JohnWillStab asked.
"Of course it will, we have to chop all the dead flesh off, which means chopping some fresh-flesh off too." Bromy shrugged.
"Isn't there any other way?!" John asked.
"...you need to get the hand off... but I think I might have a decent method!" Bromy exclaimed as he rushed over to the living room, JohnWillStab followed.
The group came up with a plan.
Bromy began: "Bonifacius grabs JohnWillStab by one hand and Foxly grabs him by the other."
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"The rest of us grab onto John, and they break the arms off." Bromy offered.
"Arms?" JohnWillStab asked.
"Sound like a decent idea." Pedecree nodded.
"I refuse to lose both arms! Besides I only need the hand removed!" he complained.
"Alright, we put his arms in boiling water to kill any bacteria, and then we just cut off the infected parts!" offered Pecdecree.
"That might just work!" Bromy exclaimed.
"I STILL WANT TO KEEP AT LEAST ONE ARM!" JohnWillStab cried out.
"Nevermind... the flesh still left on his arm would rot eventually anyway, and JohnWillStab is too much of a pussy to let us cut it off." Bromy sighed.
JohnWillStab was starting to get concerned.
"Let's set it on fire." suggested crown.
"Same problem as before." Bromy shook his head.
"Perhaps tis much like a tooth, thou must pull them out suddenly and by surprise." Bonifacius offered.
"Pull it off, PULL IT OFF! NOT THEM!" JohnWillStab replied in a panic.
"That's genius!" Bromy exclaimed.
Bromy, Bony, steroid-Foxly, Crown and Pedecree stood around in a circle while they talked.
"John, here is the plan. We won't tell you when... but we're going to remove your arms by surprise!" Crown exclaimed.
"Alright...?" JohnWillStab replied uncertainly.
Twenty minutes later JohnWillStab stood there with two clearly-broken arms and tears running down his face.
"I am so sorry! I was not aware thou can still feel pain on one arm!" Bonifacius apologised, at some point, their "surprise hand-removal" turned into them beating JohnWillStab with any blunt object nearby in hopes of "breaking his arm off and dealing with the rest later."
"IT'S ALRIGHT, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN!" he called out gritting his teeth.
"And we didn't even manage to remove the arm..." Bonifacius sighed.
"Oh, now you know how to stop using plurals?!" JohnWillStab thought.
"Nothing thus far worked... there is only one thing left, I guess..." Bromy replied scratching his chin.
JohnWillStab was tied to a chair, a length of rope tied to a door at which steroid-Foxly stood.
The rest of the group held onto JohnWillStab.
"GUYS! WASN'T THIS TRICK MEANT TO BE USED FOR TEETH?!"
"Potato, tomato." Bromy shrugged.
"ONE OF THOSE ISN'T EVEN A VEGETABLE!" he protested, but it was too late, Foxly smashed the door closed tearing JohnWillStab's arm off cleanly as it flew out and bounced off the door and on the ground.
"It worked!" JohnWillStab announced, wiping a tear of joy from his eye with his (still broken) arm.
"Now the other one..." Bromy replied grinning,
"NO THANK YOU!"
They untied JohnWillStab and even snapped his arm back into its normal shape.
JohnWillStab headed over to the bathroom to wash off the remaining blood, not that there was much.
After doing so he turned towards the toilet, ready to unleash the metaphorical Niagra falls of urine, eating that many soups a day took its toll on the bladder.
Moments later everyone could hear a loud, high-pitched scream from the bathroom, they rushed over towards the door where JohnWillStab stood with his shoulders slumped and an almost psychotic look in his eyes accompanied by a clearly stretched grin.
"...what happened?!" Crown demanded.
"...Nothing, I was just so excited to not have that pesky left arm anymore!" he exclaimed giving everyone a thumbs-up.
"...John... what. did. you. do?" Bromy asked slowly.
"Whaaaaahahaht? you never scream in horror when taking a piss?"
"Taking a p-?" Bromy had a sudden epiphany.
"Don't tell me... your..." he could barely hold back laughter as JohnWillStab's face stretched to an even wider smile as the corners of his mouth cracked and began bleeding.
"ME!? NOOOOO! I'M HEALTHY AS A MAN COULD BE!" he exclaimed giving an even more enthusiastic thumbs-up.
"...What's going on?" Crown asked confused.
Bromy was on the floor gasping for air between bouts of laughter.
Eventually, Bromy stood up and displayed a wicked grin as he picked up his trusty scalpel.
JohnWillStab rushed into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.
"What's going on!?" Crown demanded.
"The king's sceptre has been... deaded..." Bonifacius replied sombrely.
"The what now?" she asked.
Moments later another scream could be heard.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!?" Crown demanded beating on the door.
Moments later a click could be heard as JohnWillStab left the bathroom and turned to the sky, a single tear rolling off his cheek as a defeated smile spread on his face.
"...What happened, John?" Bromy asked.
"The crown jewels have been deaded too..."
"Why are you bringing me into this?!" Crown demanded not seeing he was referring to an actual crown.
"I'm going to need the help of... four out of the five of you..." John said looking over to the party.
Bromy nodded and gestured steroid Foxly towards the door.
Bonifacius moved crown to JohnWillStab's room as the... "surgery" took place, with one smack of the door and an anguished cry JohnWillStab was back to being one-hundred percent living flesh for now.
"Can I leave now?" Crown asked impatiently.
"Yeah." Pedecree sighed as she opened the door only to see JohnWillStab on his knees, hunched over a small shoebox.
"Goodbye, my friend... I'm going to miss you..." he said quietly, his voice trembling as he walked out to his balcony and with all of his (one-armed) might threw the box into the distance, the box opening up mid-air and its contents grabbed and carried away by some massive bird.
"Until we meet in the afterlife..." he said tearfully.
From behind, Bonifacius put his hand on JohnWillStab's shoulder.
"Don't cry, my friend... send it off with a smile," he said as JohnWillStab nodded and did his best to force a smile, as tears streamed down his face.
Bromy and Pedecree sat by the door to the balcony as they looked at the bird fly with the phallic object.
"I wonder where it's heading..." Pedigree said in a hopeful voice.
"Forward," Bromy replied lighting a cigarette.