JohnWillStab, Crown and Bonifacius ran through the alley towards the little shop, JohnWillStab needed to say his goodbyes to the owner, that aside he needed to think of a way back home, what was he to do?
As soon as the shop came into view, he kicked the door down startling the owner who jumped, drawing a shotgun from under the till.
After a second he realised it was just JohnWillStab.
"John? What the fuck are you doing out here this early?!" he demanded.
"No time to explain, I came to say goodbye..." he glanced over to the box of collectable cards.
"I'll take all the cards," he exclaimed.
Bonifacius eyed the shotgun.
"Is that... a real gun?"
"No, it's a magic wand, OF COURSE, IT'S REAL!" he replied sitting back down.
"Are you done with your goodbyes, yet? We're kind of in the middle of something."
The sound of a car moving in their direction drew their attention as a black van smashed through the front door, driving half-way into the building as the doors slid open revealing three people, armed in riot gear and wielding assault rifles.
JohnWillStab and the rest took cover behind the cash register as the men gunned the room down, cup noodles, the cards, flour and everything else flew into the air.
After a solid thirty seconds of uninterrupted fire, they waited for the dust to settle.
Seeing no movements they stepped out and pointed their guns behind the cash register, only to find nobody there.
A hatch built into the floor still stood open from their escape.
The group of four ran through the improvised tunnel which lead into the sewers.
"What kind of shop has an escape tunnel!?" Crown demanded.
"You people are not from around here, are you?"
They made their way through the tunnels until they reached a ladder, they climbed it and found themselves outside JohnWillStab's house, in the distance, more shots were heard.
They rushed into JohnWillStab's house and barricaded the door.
Inside, Bromy and Pedecree sat around looking confused.
"What the hell's going on outside!?" Pedecree demanded.
"No idea!" JohnWillStab exclaimed.
"I'm pretty sure they're after the people who're going to get isekaid," he added.
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The group sat around in the living room.
"We need some sort of plan..." Bromy sighed after JohnWillStab explained everything.
"I know! how about we get JohnWillStab and the Th-" Crown's suggestion was cut off by JohnWillStab smacking her over the head (more like flailed his arm at her).
"Ow!"
"What was that?" asked the thief.
"I have a brilliant idea!" JohnWillStab explained.
"You do?" asked Bonifacius.
"I sure do! But I'm going to need Bromy's help with it." JohnWillStab explained.
Bromy raised his eyebrow.
"Only Bromy can know about it," JohnWillStab added.
Bromy let out a sigh and stood up as JohnWillStab and him walked into the kitchen.
Moments later they returned.
"Alright, everyone! The plan is complete." JohnWillStab announced.
Bromy grinned.
"Yeah, JohnWillStab neglected to mention the existence of a passageway down to the basement in his bathroom," Bromy explained.
"THAT SOUND LIKE SOMETHING YOU SHOULD MENTION AT THE START!" Crown exclaimed.
"Sorry, sorry, I forgot," he replied as he lead them into the bathroom.
"Bonifacius, Pedecree, Crown and the shop-owner entered the bathroom."
Bromy shut the door behind them, locking it with JohnWillStab's key.
"Hey!" Crown called out.
"Alright, I'll head out," JohnWillStab exclaimed with a heavy sigh.
"Good luck," Bromy replied, his grin replaced with a dead-serious expression.
"What are thou doing?!" Bonifacius demanded bashing on the door.
JohnWillStab rushed out, kicking down their weak barricades and opening the door with his teeth.
Bromy sat down, putting his weight against the door as he reached for a cigarette.
"God's speed, corpse."
JohnWillStab rushed out seeing two vans in the distance.
"Come get me, you have about twenty-four hours, you bastards!" he called out.
He opened Pedecree's van with his teeth and placed the keys he swiped from the table when Pedecree was asleep in the exhaust. (also with his teeth.)
With his teeth biting down on the steering wheel he drove away, but not before honking loudly. The vans started moving towards him.
He didn't have a driver licence, but he did know the basics, that side he did break at least three road-safety-laws per kilometre travelled.
"I'M DRIVING A CAR!" JohnWillStab exclaimed.
"This shit is awesome!"
He took a sharp turn to the left, his tires giving off the scent of burnt rubber from the friction.
The sound of gunshots soon came from behind as the people behind him took pot-shots at the car.
"I'm so sorry about the car, Pedecree!"
JohnWillStab drove straight into a fenced-off area, breaking the wooden fence without any trouble, the van smashing some Christmas decorations as he drove.
The vans followed him.
JohnWillStab felt a mix of relief and fear the sound bells ringing was heard outside.
The massive, muscular man stepped out of his mobile home, dressed in bright red, he hopped onto his motorcycle-drawn sleigh and made chase.
Seeing the man in the way, someone in one of the vans took aim at Santa Claus.
Before they could fire, he reached into that big ol' bag of his and retrieved two Tommy guns with which he showered the bathed two of the vans in Christmas cheer and bullets.
Seeing this, one of the vans tried to ram into him, only for him to leap through the window, and slaughter the heavily armoured people inside with his meat cleaver before chopping a hole through the side of the van and jumping out, back onto his sleigh.
Seeing this the driver of the other van passed out, crashing into a pole.
The remaining van driver turned on the radio and grabbed the microphone.
A loud crash was heard from behind.
"Requesting backup, suspected player slaughtering our men."
There was no reply, only quiet humming and static.
"Hello?!" the driver demanded, frustrated.
A grizzled voice softly hummed "Fill the halls with guts and glory..." the man smashed the radio there and then.
But the noise didn't stop, he kept looking for the source of the sound but he was only met with the pale, bearded face of the man himself out the side window.
"YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER NOT CRY!"
Terrified the driver rammed into the sleigh, clearly hitting the man.
He breathed a sigh of relief as he felt a strange rumbling from below, suddenly, the meat cleaver came from below, Santa Claus was chopping his way into the car from below, the driver let out a girly scream before seeing the familiar face and torso of the man squeezing his way inside.
Santa Claus proceeded to hack and slash at the car and the driver who used his pistol to shoot at the man, missing and shooting the engine instead.
JohnWillStab saw a bright light in the distance, he looked in the mirror only to see Santa Claus, calmly sitting in the front seat of the blazing car, seemingly drinking the blood of the terrified driver as he gave JohnWillStab a thumbs up and loudly called out "Marry Christmas, JohnWillStab!"
JohnWillStab felt a shiver run down his spine but was grateful nevertheless.