"JohnWillStab: I don't think the situation could have turned out any better."

The group drank at the inn, JohnWillStab resorted to sitting on the table - reasoning that it's less likely for him to die than if he was to fall off his chair, ignoring the fact that, one - he's undead, and two - he's playing a game.

Bonifacius was sitting on the chair properly with a large wooden tankard in his hand.

"Bonifacius: Indeed - I doubt many of us expect to have the old world returned."

Bonifacius laughed.

♕ was sitting on the group pressed up against the railing separating her from a one-meter fall down to the first floor.

"♕: Yeah, I'm glad that we dealt with everything quickly..."

"Bonifacius: It would appear that thou hast intoxicated thy self before us!"

"♕: Don't say it like that... sounds like I'm getting a DUI..."

"JohnWillStab: What are you drinking anyway?"

"♕: Captain Jorgan."

"JohnWillStab: Wait, you guys are drinking spirits?! I just got beer!"

"Bonifacius: I am drinking a pear-flavoured cider."

"♕: Pussies."

"♕: Be right back, I need to walk the booze off..."

♕ walked outside much to JohnWillStab's and Bonifacius' confusion, they expected her to walk off the alcohol in real life.

Once outside, ♕ activated the flight spell and flew off to the human-starting zone.

She landed in a small forested area where a level three human stood - with light blond hair and a dark blue shirt.

"♕: Welcome back..."

"Elplorr: What do you mean? Who are you?"

"♕: I recorded your IP in the other game - You can't trick me..."

"Elplorr: ..."

"♕: Granted I am very drunk and at this point, you wouldn't be the first thing I'm seeing that doesn't exist."

"Elplorr: ... are you alright?"

"♕: Well, my alibi is about to wear off - so I'll just say this much."

"♕: You f#*k with this game or anyone in my friends-list and I will have 8 different countries send swat teams to your house."

"Elplorr: I'm sorry I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm just here to play the game y'know - just your ordinary gamer."

"XxFoxlyxX: Heyy, crown! You're levelling herbalism too?"

Herbalism is a profession where you can gather herbs and other types of plants - you can get some good money by selling them to players with cooking, medicine or alchemy as their professions.

"♕: Nah - just having a chat with somebody, the other two are at the inn in the undead zone, drinking,"

"XxFoxlyxX: I getcha - don't bully low levels - that's a bit scummy even for you."

"♕: Yes, I know."

"XxFoxlyxX: Alright - I'm going to go sell the herbs then drop by the inn."

"♕: Right, I'll just go to the inn."

If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

The two left Elplorr alone - letting him return to grinding boars for XP, before getting bored and giving himself the maximum level.

The next morning, after everyone sobered up...

"Bonifacius: I have tracked some quests you may be interested in!"

"JohnWillStab: Great, what are they?"

"Bonifacius: We have to find Jerry."

"JohnWillStab: Alright, sounds easy..."

"Bonifacius: Indeed, Jerry had an accident in the woods."

"JohnWillStab: What kind of accident? How dangerous can the woods be in a starter zone?"

"Bonifacius: He fell in a hole."

"JohnWillStab: Alright - let's go get him."

"Bonifacius: Thou would note believe it, I hath taken this quest from our dear friend Malvin!"

"JohnWillStab: Malvin the blacksmith?"

"JohnWillStab: That's cool!"

"Bonifacius: Indeed - it turns out Jerry is his brother - they went camping when they got separated!"

Malvin is the name of the NPC blacksmith who always fixes JohnWillStab's gear - in most MMOs, when you die or take damage, the durability of your items gets lower, until eventually, you can't wear them. That is why JohnWillStab and Bonifacius pay a visit to the man almost daily, he was a larger man - you could buy little grindstones to sharpen your blades as well as some cheap armour - he'd always be available for a quick chat too while the gear is being fixed - he had a large and expansive dialogue tree.

"Bonifacius: We must head south, there is a massive forest the size of a small zone, allegedly he is located somewhere there."

"JohnWillStab: Actually, I have a decent idea of how to find him..."

"Bonifacius: Thou does?"

JohnWillStab summoned Arachnophobia who appeared at his side.

"Bonifacius: Thou intends to use thy pet as a guide?"

"JohnWillStab: It's worth a shot."

"Bonifacius: Perhaps thou are correct."

JohnWillStab looked at the cat and it looked back, as if to say: "Yeah, I'm not programmed to do this, what did you expect?"

JohnWillStab did not despair and instead waited patiently, eventually, the cat started walking off south.

"JohnWillStab: Follow the cat!"

They two followed the cat through the forest.

The cat led them through plains, hills, forests and stream until it led them to what looked like a grave except there was no soil covering it, instead a deep, dark pool of water filled the inside.

A tombstone stood on one side of the grave-pool.

[https://i.imgur.com/gvPYOEP.png] 

Inside a see-through fish swam around a skeleton, like an emo coral reef.

"Bonifacius: Tis just a ghost-fish pool."

Bonifacius sighs.

"JohnWillStab: So it turns out Arachnophobia is a one-trick pony..."

"Bonifacius: A single-skilled feline... alas, ghost-fish are very rare!"

Arachnophobia stated meowing as a though-bubble appeared above its head, inside was a cartoony image of a ghost-fish.

JohnWillStab, out of pure curiosity, clicked on it and it faded out, being replaced instead with an image of a human with red hair and a moustache with the name "Jerry" written on the side and an arrow pointing towards him.

"JohnWillStab: I just set my cat to "Jerry-tracking mode""

"Bonifacius: Ah, so thy cat is a tracker-type!"

"JohnWillStab: ..why is Jerry trackable?"

"Bonifacius: Tracker types are very unique, they use very advanced technology to guess what thou could be looking for!"

The cat meowed again as it charged off, JohnWillStab and Bonifacius followed.

They followed the cat as eventually came across a large tree from with hung a man by a rope.

"JohnWillStab: OH NO, JERRY HUNG HIMSELF!"

"Bonifacius: How terrible!"

"Bonifacius: Quick check his pockets."

"JohnWillStab: Good idea."

JohnWillStab took out a piece of paper from his pocket, it read: "Its been six months and my brother never bothered to come find me, I'm done with this world - goodbye everyone, fuck you Kevin!"

"JohnWillStab: Who's Kevin?"

"Bonifacius: His brother's name is Malvin, this must be the wrong Jerry..."

"JohnWillStab: Oh well, lead the way, my Jerry-tracking pet!"

The cat meowed again before running off once more, this time it stopped in a little house standing in the middle of a clearing in the forest, its walls were covered in vines and moss, inside, next to a fireplace sat the body of a man with red hair and a moustache, JohnWillStab clicked on him and his name appeared as "Jerry".

"JohnWillStab: This must be him!"

"Bonifacius: Check his body to make sure!"

JohnWillStab searches the man's pockets and finds a note reading: "This is it Malvin, it's over! I don't love you anymore! You were the worst boyfriend!"

"JohnWillStab: ..."

JohnWillStab looks down at "Jerry's" face seeing that it was the face of a woman with makeup and lipstick.

"JohnWillStab: Nope!"

"Bonifacius: What's wrong?"

"JohnWillStab: A lot, but for now let's keep looking!"

Arachnophobia rushed off to a different location, it led the party to a small clearing in the forest, another body was hanging from a tree, their arms and legs were tied up.

"JohnWillStab: ...That doesn't seem like suicide anymore..."

"Bonifacius: I know not, perhaps he was a masochist?"

JohnWillStab checked the man's pockets seeing a not, it read: "That's what you get for coming onto our turf, Kevin!"

"JohnWillStab: This is Kevin!"

"Bonifacius: Perhaps they are trying to frame someone else?"

"JohnWillStab: ..."

"Bonifacius: Could happen."

JohnWillStab looked over to Arachnophobia who sighed and walked off - not bothering to run anymore.

The cat led them to yet another body hanging from a tree, this time a massive sword stabbed through its chest and a note pinned to the tree with another over-sized blade - it read: "WHERE IS KEVIN, JERRY?!"

"JohnWillStab: JERRY CAN'T ANSWER IF HE'S DEAD!"

"Bonifacius: Alright... this may - as you suggested, not be a suicide..."

The cat walked away once more, meowing loudly this time.

"Could it be?" thought John as he followed the cat breathlessly.

The cat led them to a large hole, inside lay a man with red hair, he matched the description given my Malvin perfectly.

"JohnWillStab: We finally got him!"

"Bonifacius: That's great!"

"Who are you? Did my brother send you?" asked the man.

"JohnWillStab: AND HE'S ALIVE!"

"Bonifacius: How great!"

JohnWillStab searched the man's pockets...

"Hey! What are you doing!? Aren't you here to rescue me?"

"JohnWillStab: Nevermind, he's called Harry."

"Bonifacius: Ah! I had my hopes up!"

"JohnWillStab: Yeah, me too... let's keep looking!"

The group walked away leaving Jerry in his pit.