Amidst the piles of bodies, the hills of organs and the stream of blood stood Olivionion, his health around the twenty-five percent mark.

The loud sound rang out as the blazing sphere shot towards Olivionion, it shot into the ground printing a charred texture on it as an explosion of steam blew him up into the air.

Mobleous: That should have killed him. they announced putting aside their massive rifle, its muzzle still giving off amber sparks.

A clang of swords rang out from behind as Mobleous saw Olivionion's blade inches away from their head and JohnWillStab's blade parrying it.

JohnWillStab: I remember about your projectile-dodging ability! he announced as he used the kick ability launching Olivionion back.

Olivionion: Nice work there! I admire the skills! he announced.

Mobleous looked back seeing their life was about to come to a close.

RuRet: Ya sure you shouldn't pull out yet, Mobleous? he asked sitting on a blood-free patch of grass.

Mobleous: I'm fine.

Mobleous: And thanks for the save, John.

JohnWillStab: I can't have my people killed off, right.

He played the /laugh emote.

Olivionion used his sprint ability, he shot towards JohnWillStab, the grass textures he ran past taking a few extra frames to update before playing their animations due to his sheer speed.

JohnWillStab appeared behind him before using the kick ability, Olivionion immediately replied with the manoeuvre ability making JohnWillStab and him swap places.

JohnWillStab used dagger throw but in the split second it took for his character to cast the ability Olivionion used the gut-punch skill, as JohnWillStab fell to the ground he picked himself up using the distance between Olivionion and him as an excuse to use dagger-throw.

The dagger flew at Olivionion who charged head-first at JohnWillStab, he ran straight-through it as he fired off his projectile-dodge ability once more, the game couldn't even load a dodge-animation in time.

Olivionion extended his arm in an attempt to slash at JohnWillStab but was stopped by a gut-punch of John's.

JohnWillStab followed with the disarm skill as he kicked Olivionion's weapon from his hand.

Mobleous couldn't get a good shot at Olivionion, their moves were too quick.

Mobleous: They're so fast!

RuRet: A clash of the dagger-classes. he announced.

Olivionion jumped back and reached for his second weapons, the pistol.

JohnWillStab saw this and tried to close the distance between them before being shot, his projectile-dodge ability saved him.

Olivionion played the /grin emote as JohnWillStab realised he was going to duel-wield pistols.

Before JohnWillStab was shot he used the manoeuvre ability only to have Olivionion cast one himself.

He kicked JohnWillStab down and as he smashed into the ground the second pistol fired.

The blood exploded from JohnWillStab's character as Olivionion landed with only a few percent of his health remaining.

Mobleous: JohnWillStab! No!

RuRet: ...

Olivionion: That's something your scummy levelling tactics won't give you, skills! he laughed, his character basically bathed in blood.

His facial expression shifted as JohnWillStab planted a dagger through his back.

Olivionion: Feign dead?...

JohnWillStab: You're the one who taught me this trick, remember?

Olivionion: Since when did this undead loser get so OP?

he laughed before logging out, his character disappearing so JohnWillStab couldn't mind-control him.

Mobleous: He disappeared!?

RuRet: He just logged out, don't worry about it - I'm sure he won't be back any time soon.

JohnWillStab: I fu#*ing hope not! he exclaimed leaning back in his chair in real life.

RuRet: In any case, it's late - you should get some sleep already.

JohnWillStab: Alright, mom.

RuRet: Good night sweety.

They both shared a laugh before JohnWillStab logged out.

Meanwhile, JohnWillStab was surprised to hear a noise in his living room.

He stood up from his computer and headed over to the living room, he turned the light on and saw the thief from before, hood and mask on.

"Yo," she announced sitting on his couch.

"...Why are you in my house?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Wouldn't you find it weirder if someone knocked on your door?" she retorted.

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

"True, the last person to knock on my door was that weird-ass Issac guy." he relented.

"Anyway! I was going around doing some stealing...-" she began, she spoke melodically.

"As you tend to..." JohnWillStab added.

"Yeah, and I found a laptop with this weird game, I was wondering if I can like... sell the game?" she asked tossing JohnWillStab a blue laptop, he started it up and saw that the only thing on it was a dozen folders filled with nothing but hat pictures and a folder that was empty say for a few files called "ResourcesX.sre" and a file called "Game.exe".

He launched the game and saw it's just the game they were playing this whole time.

"Nah, it's just the game I've been playing for a while. You'd be better off deleting it before selling it." JohnWillStab commented.

"Really? That's what you're wasting your life on?"

"Hey! I'll have you know it's very important business!" he added.

"Business?" she asked, JohnWillStab piqued her interest.

"Well, not actual business? More like... very scare important stuff." he re-phrased.

"Right, well, as much as I'd love to see this game of yours, I think I'd rather... not," she concluded.

JohnWillStab handed her the laptop back.

"It was worth a shot." she shrugged.

"Though, I guess the main thing I came here to let you know is I'm going on holidays to Italy for a week, with the whole pandemic going on, it's a better time than ever to pillage!

"Don't say that, now the people will question if there is or is not a disease in this world!" JohnWillStab complained.

"John, people gave up on any sense of consistency in this story a long time ago..." she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Anyway, I just came to let you know, so if you hear someone breaking in between today and today plus seven days, ya know it's not me," she explained.

"Alright..." JohnWillStab got used to the chaos around him, though he was still somewhat disturbed by the idea of someone just popping into his house out of the blue and messing with his stuff.

"HELP!" the voice of the old man from next-door called out as JohnWillStab rushed over to the door and opened it, this wouldn't be the first time someone attacked the elderly couple next door.

"We got you now, tyrant!" Crown called out holding the old man in a chokehold.

"I came all this way to kick your ass and by God, I will!" Bromy called out holding a pipe in his hand.

Bonifacius was holding Bromy back.

"What the fuck are you people doing to the old man!?" JohnWillStab demanded, he was holding a lamp he grabbed from the living room as a weapon.

"This sick bastard is trying to take over the world!" Crown exclaimed.

JohnWillStab gasped.

"...mister Jenkins?! I never thought you'd-" he was cut off by his neighbour letting out a raspy "HELP ME OUT YOU, DUMBASS!"

Crown was smashed over the head with JohnWillStab's lamb causing her to pass out, JohnWillStab was promptly pushed into the wall so hard it cracked by "Foxly".

"Ah fuck!" he called out.

"HE GOT AWAY!" Bromy called out turning his sights to the actual JohnWillStab.

A group of twelve or so delinquent looking people wielding pipes and bats marched in through the door whacking Bony, Bromy and Foxly over the head, they whacked Crown and the old man over the head just for good measure.

John let out a gasp as "Foxly's" weight was lifted from his chest.

He coughed and gasped for a while before looking up to the concerned-looking delinquents.

"Thanks for the help guys... you're literally life savers!" he exclaimed.

"No worries, John, we can't have some amateurs roughing up our people." they laughed before dragging the old man back into his house.

"Well, what do you want us to do with them?" asked one of the delinquents.

"They are clearly the aggressors here... but if we leave them out... there is no way they'd make it through the night..." he thought.

"Thanks for the help, I think I'll handle it from here," JohnWillStab replied dragging them into his house one-by-one.

JohnWillStab proceeded to tie their arms and legs up with bedsheets, rope, zip ties and whatnot, he placed them all on his couch and sat opposite them eating some cup-noodles.

They woke up a decent three hours later as JohnWillStab sat cross-legged on the floor opposite them.

The first one to open their eyes was Bromy.

"Where the fuck are we?!" he asked looking around.

"You're in my living room," JohnWillStab explained sipping on his noodles.

"Why are we tied up!?" he demanded.

"Well, to be fair you did assault my neighbour," he replied.

"...That's fair." Bromy replied defeated.

A while of silence passed.

"So... are you going to kill us or?..." Bromy asked.

"No, not me, if you went to the house down the street, the red one... yeah you wouldn't even need to ask that question."

"I'll unlock the doors and toss you a pair of scissors to cut yourself out when the sun comes out," he explained.

"...what?"

"You're clearly not from around here, but you are absolutely going to get stabbed, beaten, murdered, burned, eaten and raped, in that order, outside between the hours of the sun setting and the sun rising," he explained.

"Christ, what kind of neighbourhood is this?!" Bromy demanded.

"It's actually quite nice if you don't get involved," he explained.

"..."

"Also, don't drink the tap water," he added.

"Why?" Bromy asked.

"Because if you have a fine enough sieve you can refine lead from the tap water," he explained.

"I see..." Bromy was surprised he was still alive.

"Anyway, what brings you guys down here? If the person you're looking for lives here, I guarantee they don't want to be found," he asked.

"Well... it's a friend from a game." Bromy replied.

"..." It was JohnWillStab's turn for the stare of judgement.

"What!? We lost all contact with him!" Bromy defended himself.

"Right, so you decided to assault the old man, thinking he was your friend?" JohnWillStab asked.

"Esentially," he replied.

"Well, I can tell you people will fit right in here," JohnWillStab announced sarcastically.

"We came to warn him that he'll die in three days," Bromy explained.

"...so you decided to shorten his life even further by beating him to death?" John asked.

"...Ok, we were a bit emotional," Bromy admitted.

"Who were those guys anyway?" Bromy asked.

"The delinquent guys? They're like the local law enforcement since the cops don't really... come here..." he replied.

"Besides we're good friends," he added.

"And her?" Bromy asked gesturing with his eyes to the thief sitting in the corner of his room playing on the laptop.

JohnWillStab glanced back and saw the thief.

"Oh, she just kind of breaks into my house sometimes." he shrugged.

"Sup." she waved her hand not looking up from the laptop.

"...aren't you bothered by that?" Bromy asked.

"Hm? No, not anymore - I've lived here since I was eighteen."

"Yeah, you used to leave your windows unlocked like some sort of amateur." she laughed.

"Say what you want, I remember that time you tried to rob my house by climbing down the chimney only to get stuck and cry so loud I had to break my wall to get you out." JohnWillStab sighed looking back.

"I was sixteen for god's sake! Cut me some slack!"

"Yeah, what about that time you thought you could cut my window like they do in the cartoons with a piece of glass, so you shattered my windows and had me and the delinquents pulling out shards of glass from your hands while you were getting drunk to numb the pain?" JohnWillStab asked.

"Ok, look, I learned from my mistakes."

"What is wrong with you people...?" Bromy sighed.

"Anyway, I tried that game you told me to play." the thief commented.

"I never told you to play it." he interrupted.

"And what 'class' should I pick?" she asked.

"Anything but the dagger," he replied.

"Why not the dagger one?" she asked.

"I wanted to be a badass ninja in-game too!" she complained.

"...you know what? Go ahead! Pick an undead while you're at it!" He advised her.

"Funny, the person we're looking for is actually an undead dagger user, the game we play has a weird class system, you-"

They both said the next thing in unison.

"Pick from a list of weapons for your class..."

They looked at each other for a while.

"..."

"..."

They looked at each other in complete silence for a bit.

"John?" Bromy asked.

"NOT I'M SANTA CLAUS!" he replied putting on a high-pitched voice.

"..."

"...John... I know it's you."

"It is not me!" he exclaimed.

"Why the fuck are you denying it!?"

"BECAUSE YOU ALMOST KILLED THE LAST PERSON YOU THOUGHT WAS JOHN!"

"WE WERE EMOTIONAL, OK!?"

"Damn, looks like the geeks are getting heated." the thief laughed.

A while of silence passed.

"So... are you going to remove the pseudo-handcuffs?" Bromy asked.

"Christ no."

"Are you still salty about Crown assaulting your neighbour?"

"Nevermind that, when she realises I was the one who knocked her out I'm dead for real," JohnWillStab replied paler than before.

A loud scream came from outside followed by the sound of bells and some sort of vehicle.

"What is that?!" Bromy asked.

"Santa Claus." Both John and the thief replied at the same time.

Bromy raised an eyebrow.

"It's an old, bearded man, he hooked a motorcycle to a sleigh and drives around with a meat cleaver at night whilst blasting Christmas music."

"..Aren't you bothered in the slightest people are dying outside?!" Bromy asked.

"Well, if you're outside at this hour you're either suicidal or trying to show off how tough you are, it's like the p*rge movie... but in real life," he explained.

"GET BACK HERE YOU NAUGHTY BITCH!" a voice came from outside followed by the sound of screaming and laugher.

"That's fucking terrifying!" Bromy said wide-eyed.

"It's alright, I can tell by the scream that was Larry."

"Larry's been in life or death situations every day for years, he's very lucky when it comes to surviving things," JohnWillStab admitted.

"Yeah, that one time he tried to hang himself, but the rope broke and he broke his legs." The thief pointed out.

"Or that time he tried to drown himself in his bathtub but it broke and he just got a bit electrocuted," John added.

"Oh, or that one time he went into a burning building to save a kitten and was bitten by a lion." added the thief.

"That was a classic." John laughed.

"Your lack of empathy terrifies me," Bromy admitted.

"Alright, well I'm not the person beating up old people," he replied.

"You're never going to live that down are you!?" Bromy complained.