"What is this place?" Crown asked looking around, Lorb sat atop his fancy chair, like before.
"Greeting, hero! You have been summoned to defeat the great lemon king!" Lorb exclaimed.
"Lemon king... you mean demon king, right?"
"No, no, the great citard has plagued our lands for centuries! You must lend us your strength, hero!"
From behind, Foxly, Olivionion, the child from before and the real Lorb sat and did their best to hold back tears and laughter as JohnWillStab, disguised as Lorb continued speaking.
"Woah... I guess I wasn't sure what to expect after we die... I'm pretty sure I was shot, right?"
"N-no! You have simply imagined that part whilst choking to death on a lemon." he explained.
"I- I died because of a fucking lemon!?"
"Not just any lemon! a Demon-Lemon!" he pronounced "lemon" like "leemon"
Crown raised an eyebrow.
"Alright! What do I do?"
"In order for us to confirm that you are indeed the hero you must..." JohnWillStab didn't know what to say next, he looked behind Crown and saw Lorb waving a wallet around.
"I must...?"
"YOU MUST CONFIRM YOUR IDENTITY BY OFFERING A VALID ID AS WELL AS BANK INFORMATION!" he exclaimed.
"What is this, some sort of after-life scam?!"
"No, no, I do this all the time."
"Look, I'll prove it!"
Crown crossed her arms and waited patiently.
JohnWillStab started to feel his stomach muscles hurt from holding back the laughter, he raised his thumb and stuck out his pinkie to make a phone-shape with his right hand and with his voice almost breaking he said.
"Hello, this is J- Lorb. Can I speak to the executive afterlife manager?"
Lorb using his power over the isekai wait dimension made his voice come out from JohnWillStab's hand as if he was actually holding a phone.
"Hello yes this is isekai support, how can I assist you?" Lorb asked in a thick and obviously fake Indian accent.
"Y-yeah, I'm here to speak to the executive isekai manager, we have a nonbeliever here."
"I see, please enter your personal bank information to confirm your status as Lorb." the real Lorb continued.
"Wait, what is this, some sort of scam inception?!"
"So you admit this is a scam!?" Crown demanded.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
"No, no, that was just a slip of the tongue."
JohnWillStab cleared his throat, "Hold on, let me call a specialist."
JohnWillStab placed his right hand down as if to hang up his "phone" and raised his left hand before putting it to his ear.
From inside came Foxly's voice.
"Hello?" he asked.
JohnWillStab put on a heavy Indian accent.
"Hello, this is the executive isekai department, we are here to report that you have a world-virus, please give us your private bank information so that we can delete it."
"A virus!? Oh no! My info is..." Foxly proceeded to come up with random numbers on the spot.
"Thank you, I will delete your virus soon, sir." JohnWillStab hung up.
"What the hell was that about!? Now I know you're a scammer!"
"Give me a second."
JohnWillStab picked up the right "phone" again.
"Hi, it's me again, my information is..." he proceeded to offer Foxly's information.
"Alright, thank you sir, please wait..."
A ringtone noise came from JohnWillStab's hand-phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi, I'm here about the hero registration," JohnWillStab explained.
"She didn't fall for it?"
"No, no."
A loud scream came from the phone.
"Oh no! What's going on over there!?"
"THEY'RE ONTO US! CALL THE POLICE!" the voice cried before cutting off.
"Quick, hero! You must call the police!"
"I don't-"
"QUICKLY!"
"But I-"
"MAKE HASTE!"
Crown relented and made a finger-phone and spoke into it.
"Hello, is this the police?"
Lorb put on his best seductive voice.
"You have reached the XXXFoxlywithtiddiesXXX hot line..."
Crown put the phone down.
"I think I dialled the wrong number..."
"No, no that's it, hero! You must speak to the operator!"
"..."
"PLEASE! THE FATE OF OUR LAND DEPENDS ON IT!"
Crown sighed and put the phone back to her ear.
"Hello... someone is being assaulted."
"Alright, *moan* I'm going to need some information before we dispatch our officers..."
"A-alright...?"
"What's your address?"
Crown looked over to fake-Lorb who barely held back laughter as he replied. "123 ballsack road."
She raised both eyebrows.
"It means good luck in our ancient tongue."
The eyebrows couldn't go any higher.
"We're at... we're at... one... two... three... ballsack road..." she said gritting her teeth.
"Alright, which house number?"
Crown looked over to fake-Lorb.
"Sixty-nine," he replied.
In the back, Foxly was rocking back and forward, he was covering his mouth so hard he was giving himself bruises.
Crown let out a sigh and said "We're at sixty-nine..."
"So you're calling from one two three, ballsack road, house number sixty-nine?"
"Yes..."
"Alright, last thing..."
"Alright..."
"Could you please call out your private bank information?"
"What?!"
"You bank information." Lorb re-stated.
"This is part of that fucking scam too, isn't it?!" Crown demanded throwing the phone at fake-Lorb, forgetting it wasn't an actual phone.
Moments later Olivionion came out, dressed like a stereotypical cop, in his hand, he held a bright pink police baton.
"Aha! The police are finally here!" Crown exclaimed as Olivionion went behind her and placed her arms in hand-cuffs.
"You have the right to remain silent except for when giving your private bank information."
He proceeded to blind-fold Crown, inspite of her protests she was still moved somewhere, when the blindfold was removed she found herself in a large metal cage.
"What are you in here for?" asked Foxly putting on a deep, grizzly voice.
She turned around only to see him wearing stereotypical black and white, striped prison clothes, he was using a marker to draw pictures of skulls onto his arms.
"What the hell's going on here?!" she demanded.
She didn't say anything for a while after seeing him.
"Are you drawing... tattoos onto your skin with a marker?" she asked.
"It's a permanent marker, so it's basically the same thing as the real deal."
"..."
"What the fuck is going on?!" she thought looking for a way out.
Moments later the little girl (who was killed by Foxly) walked by, wearing a similar outfit to Olivionion, it was way too big for her, so it dragged behind her.
"Hey! you there! Let me out! This is all a misunderstanding!" Crown exclaimed.
"Shut up, criminal scum! People like you are the reason I have to bust my ass every day back at the station," she said with a wry look on her face.
"Isn't this the station!?" Crown demanded.
Both Foxly and the girl burst into laughter.
"No! You're being shipped to the gallows missy," she explained before heading towards the door that wasn't previously there.
"W-wait! This is all a misunderstanding! I'll do anything!"
"Anything?" asked the girl walking back towards the cell.
"Yeah! Name your price!"
"I guess I could let you out... if you just told me you private bank information." she offered.
Crown's head sunk and her shoulders slumped.
"Fine, you win!" she proceeded to list off the bank info in front of everyone.
"I win!" the girl called out.
The rest of the people came out from seemingly nowhere.
"Ah! damn it! I was sure she'd buy into the hot-line trick!" Lorb complained.
"Wait... what's going on!?"
"This was all just a prank!" JohnWillStab explained taking his costume off and throwing it to the ground, it disappeared before touching the ground.
"A prank!? You mean I'm going to be ok!?"
"Oh, no you're really dead," Lorb replied.