The Notorious Misadventures of an Alchemist and a Phoenix, Chapter 6

The ex-bank had many rooms and there was one that had the odd job crew in it. Three massive bulks sat around an equally massive table playing card games. The atmosphere was stone cold and quiet only broken up by the soft shuffle of cards. That was until Noah busted into the room causing the door to slam against the wall.

Three pairs of glowing eyes followed Noah into the room

"Come on guys, I need a cleaning crew. chop chop" spoke Noah.

There was a slight pause as the three massive bulks just stared. Then like lighting the three bulks stood to attention, put down their cards, face down and left with Noah to do some work.

These three bulks were the most reliable workers in all of the multiverse. Not due to their work ethic but due to their race, Golems.

All golems worked none stop 24/7. They were lost old technology-magic from who knows when but each one was worth their weight in whatever precious metals or gems you could think of, times ten.

You sometimes saw them as guards protecting kings or bodyguards for immensely wealthy merchants. And while not as fast as others they were loyal, steadfast workers who could keep a secret and never stopped until their work was complete. and best of all they cost nothing to upkeep.

They were so valuable that they were never for sale......unless they were functionally abnormally different.

No one knew why some golems became like that but it always started with passive-aggressive work. A good example was when a golem was ordered to dig a hole for a well. The owner came back two days later to expect a deep well full of water. What he got was a lake-sized hole and a golem still digging

If this was all then it wouldn't be too bad, you would just have to be super detailed with what you wanted. However, Noah's golems were even more functionally abnormally different.

Just then the closed door opened slowly and in came one of Noah's golems. The way it walked suggested it was creeping but that would be silly as there was nothing more trustworthy than a golem. There was no need for a golem to sneak as it was like a giant stone wall moving and very noticeable. The golem pushed a chair out of the way and peeled the corner of the face-down card. Before the golem could get a clear look, a swift boulder-sized slap hit it in the back of the head. A second golem had followed the first expecting some cheating. The first one went flying into the massive table causing it to flip up and spray the air with cards. Before the first could get up, the second had grabbed the top of the golem's head planting its thick fingers into the glowing eye sockets of the first. What came next was a whirlwind force of one golem twirling another in a circle. The first golem had its mouth open in a silent scream. The chairs in the room and the massive table turned to spilters as the force from two powerhouse golems clashed against them.

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This was bad enough but it was turned up to eleven when the third golem found out what was going on. The bucket and mop it held found a new home on top of the second's head. The third hit the bucket with the mop causing a loud cling to pierce the air. The first went flying only to be caught by the third and pulled into a headlock. The second pulled off the bucket only to be met with the third using the second as a battering ram. These golems were functionally abnormally different.

The lights flickered on and off as Noah hammered on the light switch.

"Stop it, stop it" each syllable spoken was met with a fresh light switch turning on and off.

This was why and how Noah was able to buy these golems. All three of the golems had a pathological need to beat the living snot out of each other. The beating never went further than slapstick but when you had the power of a golem even the most casual of blows could turn you inside out.

Some had tried to separate the golems but after a while, they stopped working and refused to do the slightest amount of work. only when they were together would they work but there was a 20% chance they would beat the living hell out of each other.

Even with these faults, Noah paid a hefty sum for them. He would be damned if he allowed anyone untrustworthy into his workshop.

This was the only place the trio could fight as Noah forbid it anywhere else. Still, the walls rumbled and the floor shook. Unfortunately, the golems had already broken the walls in a previous fight but Noah had them remake them thick enough to withstand an odd blow or so.

The fight only stopped when number two threw number one at number three and then dog piled them both.

If Noah wasn't so rightly paranoid about his stuff being stolen he would hire humans and rent these golems as gladiators, that or a destruction crew.

Noah kept a close eye on them as they started their work by mopping up the liquids. It would be a disaster if they started a fight in his workshop. Noah felt nauseous when he spotted a golem emptying his bucket into the mouth of the phoenix.

"Gross"

Noah couldn't watch anymore, so he turned to redesign his automatic potion gravity-fed troughs and pipes to compensate for the extra potions that were being created. Noah hooked up his giant blender, restored the embers of his heating system. This was hard work alone but with the golems and dungeon twine it was infinitely easier.

Noah's workshop was a hodgepodge of new ideas mixed with various class items. Many Witch cauldrons were stacked on one side while it was continuously turned like a cement mixer. Pills danced and rolled inside getting coated by powered medicine.

Two magical blacksmith furnaces heated the boilers and the grand enchanted copper pots.

Golem number three brought in a miner's cart full of bloom moss and tipped the load onto the conveyor belts. This went through a modified oven from the Cook class to dry the moss and was then dropped into the giant blender powered by a water wheel. Bloom moss was turned to dust and packed into a brick mould and pressed into a solid rectangle, ready for Noah to use Extract.

Bloom moss was one of Noah's secrets. The moss grew everywhere and was mostly used for animal feed. And yet because of Noah's skills and boosting them up with experience orbs, he was able to find out that whatever the bloom moss grew beside it would absorb the element. You just needed an incredibly powerful skill like Noah's EXTRACT skill to get the special ingredient elements.

This was how Noah was able to make powerful concoctions at a low low cost.