The Notorious Misadventures of an Alchemist and a Phoenix, Chapter 16

Noah was checking his mail as the golems worked to erect a structure to hold a massive silver and glass cauldron. He flipped through almost a weeks worth of mail, and an interesting tale was being told to him.

One week ago, a letter was sent from the school's governing bodies telling him he was under review due to the headmaster's complaints. Followed by a mass of communications from the governing bodies and the probation officer fighting over the firing of Noah. That was soon followed by a letter from Noah's probation officer begging him to behave. Then a letter from the school governing bodies explaining in long complicated words that he was fired.

A couple of powerfully aggressive letters from the City Watch declaring an arrest warrant for Noah, and what would happen if he didn't turn himself in. These letters, over the last couple of days, had turned from a command to comply, into a come in when you have the time. Noah could tell whoever drafted and signed the warrant didn't check who was being investigated. The City Watch had a nice deal going with The Alchemy bank, They would receive free potions at the end of the month to do with as they see fit, and that was it. Noah got rid of any excess potions that he would end up throwing away due to "sale by date" and The Watch got free healing. The Watch wasn't going to mess up that kind of deal by being overly aggressive in arresting a worker from The Alchemy bank.

The letters continued showing a pattern of two forces fighting to continue Noah's career as a teacher only to be concluded with a final letter from the governing bodies threatening to resign and the actual government accepting if they wanted to take it that far. In the end, Noah was expected to go back to work as a teacher.

This might have been the worst outcome for Noah. Still, he wouldn't have to go back until...... yesterday. It seems like he had missed his first day on the job......again. Noah sighed, grabbed his bag and left for the shit show called a school, but first, he needed a high.

Noah sat down grabbing the entire class's attention. He didn't do anything over the top and was just settling in, but the class didn't move a muscle.

Noah looked over the lesson plan and was slightly delighted that he wouldn't be teaching anything useful, the lesson for today was all about sins.

"Today's lesson is about the delicate balance of sins" Noah pointed at a random student "You, what is a sin"

The kid jumped to his feet with his back straight as an arrow and answered like a private in an army camp.

"Sins are the punishments from the gods. They say that the more you have the greater the gods hate you"

Noah shrugged his shoulders "Everything you said might be true but I have never spoken to the gods and I don't think they care one bit what we do, but I can't be certain"

"Instead, the common theory on Sins is that they are used to counter the abilities of individual species" Noah looked over the students who all had stupid blank faces

"Kids don't know shit", thought Noah

"Humans have seven sins and each one is tied to our wants and needs" Noah stopped as a slime-green arm was raised, Noah pointed at the goblin

"Does that mean that us goblins are favoured by the gods because we only have two sins" the little goblin looked proud of himself and his species

"Humans have seven sins that weaken and strengthen us depending on the individual but they don't just weaken us but also weaken the other sins. Greed helps us to acquire the things we want and the things we need but too much greed can cause people to sell their kin into slavery and do heinous and inscrutable things. Sloth can make humans incredibly lazy and uncaring but it also curves the urge to Greed. A good selection of sins allows everyone to succeed while making sure we as a species don't go too far and overwhelm other species"

This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.

The little goblin looked lost, he didn't understand.

Noah hung his head and sighed while shaking it "correct me if I'm wrong but goblin sins are "gold fever" and "insatiable greed"

The little goblin nodded as to say Noah was correct.

"Both are greed-inspired sins and work together in a synergy causing the species as a whole to be greedy gold-hungry, conniving jerks who would push their dear grandmother down the stairs and surf on their backs just to earn some extra gold," said Noah.

Another hand pierced the sky, this time it belonged to a human kid, before Noah could point at him the little monster let lose his piehole

"My friend would never do that, he's the best" the human waved at the goblin.

Noah said nothing as he waited for the class to calm down. The class didn't calm down until Noah was at the table with the human boy

"Know this boy, when goblins hit puberty their sins manifest and nothing but the most severe circumstances will stop them from gold" explained Noah

The little boy was having none of it and was violently shaking his head

The goblin child had found a good friend but it was only a matter of time before the goblin would do something that would hurt the little kid.

"Tell me" Noah pointed at the goblin "are you a fully up-to-date member of the thieves Guild"

The little goblin pulled out his card proudly "I'm a double bronze member"

The Thieves Guild had a habit of adding more and more descriptive words on each tier just so that they could fleece their members. Noah should know, he was a double diamond-shined, Platinum coated Adamantite echelon IV. The Thieves Guild lived up to their name.

"Double bronze is quite an achievement," said Noah, "You either have to pay to get to that point or bring in enough loot, which one did you do?"

The little goblin's eyes darted from left to right, he had realised where this chat was going and was looking for a way to escape "have you ever had a....that'sss....that you ummm, you add, you do what, you could, you could do, you it, you want, you, you could do so, you, you do, you could, you, you want, you want them to do you so much..."

"ENOUGH" shouted Noah. After listening to that pile of dribble his mind hurt.

Noah moved to his bag and pulled out long sachets of multi-coloured dust

"The greatest and most powerful Dragons also have two sins but I'm sure you don't think you're better than a dragon"

The goblin's hand went up again "no one has seen a dragon for generations, people say they never existed"

The goblin kid wanted to cover the fact he had a licence to steal and had it very high for such a young creature.

"I've never seen a dragon but I have seen things just as gruesomely splendid, that lead me to believe in things" Noah paused and shivered for a second to remember the mass of cheering undead that stripped him and imprisoned him. Of course, there was the massive blob that had tried to kill him but he had dealt with that, Noah shook his head clean of the thoughts.

"Dragons have two sins, "What is yours, is mine" and "The hoard must be protected". Both of these sins act in synergy to incapacitate the dragon. Dragons will protect their hoard of precious items with their life but the other sin makes it so they believe everything belongs to them. Dragons become paralysed through fear of destroying their property with a casual swipe of the tail or a clumsy misstep. They have all the wealth but don't dare to move"

"That sounds stupid" yelled the human boy

"Not as stupid as you..........may think" Noah replied to the rude boy

"They say that the more powerful you are as a species the greater the sin synergy effect. Without the sins affecting dragons, they would surely take over and burn cities down with ease. Take goblins for instance, they breed so very fast that without the sins of greed for gold, they would suffocate the world"

The little goblin looked vastly smug about that, so much so that Noah had to bring him down a peg "What have we learnt my little thief"

The little goblin's ears curled on the spot "Sins are there to balance the species" he muttered.

"Correct, have a sachet" Noah handed over one of his many paper tubes filled with dust.

All of a sudden the door to the classroom burst open. The headmaster rolled in like a commando and dove across the room grabbing the packet out of the goblin's hand.

"Hardcore old man" Noah nodded in approval.

"But I have enough for the whole class" Noah showered the class with paper tubes filled with highest-grade pixie sticks. Toxins no longer affected Noah and he needed some kind of buzz to get through the day, sugar was as good as anything.......Noah lied to himself.