The Notorious Misadventures of an Alchemist and a Phoenix, Chapter 12
Things never went right with this guy. NomNom god of small baked goods peered at the odds once again. The odds had levelled out nicely only to change once again to favour Noah. The smell of burning gingerbread wafted through the air as NomNom lost his cool.
Not once, not twice, or even a third time did Noah ruin the betting odds. NomNom had enough and like a dictator, he went to the most extreme solution he could think of.
"Realise the Kraken....." ordered NomNom.
The other small gods just looked at each other.
"We don't have a Kraken, they are too expensive"
NomNoms fist hit the table causing one of his jelly cufflinks to pop off and roll away only to be quickly snatched up by a god and eaten.
"What do we have?" snarled NomNom.
A bright screen illuminated showing a list.
"Elder lich,
Corrupted windigo,
Aqrabuamelu,
Hydra,
Pontianak
Sam the disgruntled......"
The list continued, however, none was suitable as they were undead or not strong enough.
"Impur Inmundicia"
As NomNom continued to read his gingerbread golden complexion paled to a honey caramel colour. Something had shaken him but it wasn't enough because in the next second a bright toothy smile spread across his face, as he accepted.
The system readjusted the odds, 10,000 to 1 odds against Noah, Impur Inmundicia had been released.
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Noah was just finishing a special project, something to help him escape the undead. Using a pair of long grippers he found near the fire pit, he was carefully pouring a drop at a time of clear liquid into a becker. With each drop hitting the beaker, Noah would duck under his fortified barricade.
It was always difficult when creating a new concoction on the fly, sometimes you never knew what it would do, and yet Noah was pretty sure what this liquid would do. Fire scales from a drake, pinch of sulfur, acid from a rot ball and finally a substance that didn't excess here but Noah was told about it by his friend from dirt? no, it was Earth.
There was a nasty surprise waiting for the undead. Noah rubbed his hands together, he was ready but first, he need a distraction, and as the heavens were listening, Noah got one.
The air was thick with poisonous fumes and yet it felt a little heavier. The usual slight green mist that floated in the air was a deeper, dirtier green than normal.
The undead noticed something amiss. Noah stopped planting his surprise for the undead to watch what was happening.
At first, it was nothing. The air was getting dirtier and smellier but Noah couldn't understand what he was seeing. Something in his mind was telling him that there was something wrong. Then it hit him, out in the infinite green toxic jungle was a small brown hill with no life growing on it.
"What the hell is that" Noah ripped a bottle from his stash and mixed a weak eye elixir, quickly he dosed his peepers and peered at the brown hill.
The supervision was too hard to make in a short time, so instead, Noah created a thermal vision and spotted the brown hill lit up. Biting his bottom lip, Noah almost lost his balance due to his shaking legs. Whatever that was, it was alive and heading here.
Noah wanted to run, if he did he would only be brought back here by the undead. It was clear to Noah that whatever that brown hill was would crush the castle with its giant bulk and him too.
Noah spat, removing the fear and excess water from his mouth "Phoenix" he shouted
The damned bird had gone missing ever since Noah had entered this castle. Peering around he found a small blob of immense heat in the cellar. Judging the shape and what it was doing Noah was sure it was the phoenix drinking the vampire's collection of fine wines dry.
Noah sneered, what did he expect? Ever since the phoenix broke from his egg, he had been nothing but a pain in the ass. Noah couldn't rely on the booze hound bird, he would have to sort it out himself.
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Impur Inmundicia steadily rolled towards the target, something in it was willing to destroy this unknown target AND IT WOULD DO SO.
Destruction was in its nature as it was a fallen titan. Well, not quite a fallen titan. Titans had such massive vitality that when parts of the flesh and blood were carved off, they formed back together trying to live once again and that was what it was.
Closer and closer the blob of flesh and blood rolled to its fated encounter. Now and again the slab of meat would notice many small things coming at it. They would leak green poison all over it and claw at the flesh, only to be rolled over and added to the remeant mass. Each time a new material was added wounds would heal. The poison did nothing to the leftover titan as it was poison incarnated, a aura of disease and poison wafted out, covering anything that would get close.
Nothing stopped the glob, not even the castle walls as it slowly wobbled over, devouring the last of the protective undead and entering the castle grounds.
The target was close. Instinctively Impur Inmundicia knew precisely where to go and just like how it had scaled the protective wall, it climbed the tallest tower. As it got closer the flesh on its back shivered in anticipation. The target was meters away and the blob was ready to swallow the target whole.
Ripping a closed window from its hinge, Inpur Inmundicia slowly reached in only to witness the target swinging its legs over the side of the other window. The target paused, looked, and then gestured with his fingers and jumped out of the window.
If the blob had a better mind instead of using instincts it may have wondered what that was all about. Instead, it wondered what the noise was and why the tower was shaking.
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Noah was shitting bricks as he escaped the tower using a zipline. This was the worst option he thought of but the one that held the greatest chance of success.
Running away was not an option, as the massive creature was coming straight for him and his Agility stat was crap, he would soon be caught. Noah had watched horde after horde of undead just throws themselves at the creature without stopping it.
If he was a warrior or assassin he could run away and yet even if he was, death was certain to come for him. Noah had felt the change in the air get thicker the closer the blob got and understood that there was a powerful poison effect happing. Noah's health regeneration had spiked up and he felt like a million gold, all thanks to his poison resistance healing him. If you didn't have a powerful antidote or complete resistance to the poison he was unlikely to survive getting within a mile of this beast.
Zipping across the sky, Noah regretted not getting himself a sky bike and yet he knew that if he did get one it would be stolen by a high-stat brute. Of course, it would most likely be a kid who would push him off and nab the bike
With a loud crack and a tumble, Noah touched down on solid ground only breaking one of his ankles. Twisting around on his good leg he pulled a rope and dived for cover.
Before the rope could even touch the floor, the ground bulged like a balloon and yelled out with an almighty boom. The noise was incredibly powerful, so much so that despite protecting his ears with his hands, Noah's ears still rang like a bell in a church on prayer day.
Noah's new explosives were a mix of high and violent explosive ingredients mixed with a special secret sauce called nitroglycerin. Thanks to his transmigration friend and his Grandmaster's skill, Noah was able to make something close to what was described to him.
With shaking and nervous hands Noah pushed a container to his lips and drank heavily from it causing a slight dribble to cascade down his jaw. The healing liquid rested in his belly for only a moment before it took effect and healed Noah's injuries.
Against all odds, a remnant of a titan, who had been sent to kill Noah found itself falling off a tower and said tower falling on it.
Noah peered over his safe place to watch the dust settle and judge what to do next, only to be completely frozen, not by fear but by a status effect.
Impur Inmundicia was pinned down by a mass of stone and dirt but it wasn't defenceless. Whenever it sustained a certain amount of damage it would spawn flaming skull minions that would cause paralysation through their gaze. This would give the blob time to roll over its enemies and heal itself. It was a dirty trick but it worked, and a dirty trick that worked well was a good trick to pull off.
It would take days for the blob to wiggle itself free but it didn't matter when your opponent couldn't move. The floating skulls surrounded Noah, each one with its firey eyes set on him. Noah felt like being sick but couldn't move a muscle. Even if he could drink a potion he knew it wouldn't do any good, as the paralysed effect felt like a ghostly hand had wrapped around him like a boa constrictor snake hugging its prey.
Noah wanted to swear and curse out how unfair it was. More and more floating skulls had found him hiding and now he had twenty-plus skulls floating half a metre away from him.
Noah wanted to slap the skulls to the ground and elbow drop on their heads and yet he was helpless.
Deep cold fear crept up his spine and then swan dived back down again into his stomach because Noah heard a few broken bricks fall, Impur Inmundicia was freeing itself.
"What the hell was going on"
The phoenix had revealed itself by escaping the cellar with a broken bottle of port held in one of his wings. The explosion had ripped through the cellar and destroyed all of the booze.
Slowly, like in a horror show, ten floating skulls turned towards the phoenix.
"What are you looking at," said the phoenix while waving the broken bottle at them.
A few of the skulls looked awkward as their special effect didn't take effect. When the paralysing stare failed the mass of skulls got closer to the butt-scratching phoenix.
The phoenix didn't give a damn and pushed them away when they got too close. One unlucky skull bumped into the phoenix and found its eyes getting gouged out by claws and beck. That's when the floating firey skulls lost their cool and attacked, and yet they didn't have enough power to do anything to the phoenix. It turned into a one-sided massacre that even floating away did nothing to help.