The Notorious Misadventures of an Alchemist and a Phoenix Chapter 36

Noah had been released from the binding ropes and was now standing tall alongside the Dwarfs. Begrudgingly, the Dwarfs had to admit that Noah had saved their short asses and while the Dwarfs didn't understand the ability Noah had to disperse the darkness, they had to accept it was useful, and yet it was a little too useful.

The fact of the matter was that the Dwarfs didn't combat the creatures of the deep dark for the goodwill of all sentient kind, they did it for what the darkness dropped, they called it ambrosia, but the Dwarfs just stole the name from somewhere else and they couldn't remember where from. The item the darkness dropped was a pitch-black yeast that made the strongest non-lethal booze in all of the kingdoms. It was something the dwarfs needed to survive.

You see, the inborn sin that Dwarfs had that protected their minds from any influence also made them stubborn, even to the opposite sex. In short, for any Dwarf to procreate they needed to get drunk to curve their stubbornness. This wasn't a problem for the young Dwarfs because of their low stats and intolerance to normal booze but the older you got the more stats you gained, and the more stats meant you resisted low-level poisons like booze. The Dwarfs needed this yeast or the whole dwarf society would have to be run by the young, stupid, horny Dwarfs that didn't understand what it took to run the world.

It had happened before, a young Dwarf king proclaimed "my kingdom for a horse" and long story short, that was how the first kingdom of swindlers came to be. The worst part was the horse wasn't even a horse but three giant rats taped together. That Dwarf king was a true butthead.

The yeast was the reason that Dwarfs battled the darkness and likely the only reason. And this was why Noah was relieved from his ropes instead of being used as a weapon. Every single beast that was vaporized didn't drop the highly valued yeast. What's the point in having a weapon that destroyed the thing you wanted? Instead, Noah was freed and ordered to follow the Dwarfs as a vanguard.

Now it was time to go after the missing Dwarf that had been pulled into the cave system by eels, worms and snakes.

"Get it ready," said one dwarf.

"Get what ready" asked Noah

"This beauty right here" One of the Dwarfs unhitched his backpack and placed it on the floor.

The other dwarfs crowded around Noah, each one holding their sleeping blankets like a shield. Noah had no idea what was going on, he watched as the Dwarf with the backpack gently flipped up the lid, kicked the bag over and then dived undercover of the blankets. At the same time, the other two dwarfs grabbed Noah and pulled him to the ground

"What the hell...." wheezed Noah as he had the air knocked out.

"Shuuuu" announced the Dwarfs in harmony.

Noah wanted to argue and tell off the Dwarfs but the sudden stillness of the Dwarfs caused him to fear for his life.....again.

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A light rustle caught Noah's attention as something crawled out of the bag. Loud pops caused by joints of unfolding impossibly long appendages caused the hair on the back of Noah's hair to stand on end. Noah felt like an apex predator was standing right next to him and there was.

A long green and black boney-fingered hand inched its way around the edge of the blankets. It rubbed the fabric between its fingers and inched closer to Noah's face. Being careful not to move his head Noah looked at the hudled Dwarfs. All three of them had their eyes closed but not out of fear.

Noah felt afraid. The rattling breath of whatever was near him felt like it was right on top of him, and yet the Dwarfs didn't move a muscle. Their faces said it all, they were at peace.

Those long green fingers paused on top of Noah's head. Noah froze as the hand slipped through his hair and after what felt like minutes but was instead seconds the hand pat him on the head like a child.

And that was that. The creature ran through the caves at impossible speeds causing the atmosphere to twist, leaving Noah and the three dwarfs alone.

After the hard rattling sound of the wheezing creature left, the Dwarfs jumped to their feet, tied their blanket around their necks like a child's cape and followed the creature.

"What was that," asked Noah.

"That was my mother's brood keeper....I think your kind call them boogeymen"

Noah's mouth fell open and didn't close any time soon. Boogeymen were childhood annoyances. They caused fear to kids by haunting them under their beds and in tight spaces. They were seen as a pest and dealt with as such. But one man's pest was one Dwarf's protector.

Dwarfs didn't feel the fear that boogeymen inspired. Dwarf kids loved them, they could fall asleep safe in the knowledge that any creature that would cause them harm had to first get through their household boogeyman.

The blankets were the only known substance that could stop a boogeyman. Even humans knew to tighten up and draw their blankets over their heads when it came to the boogeymen and the best thing was they couldn't be assimilated by the darkness.

The Dwarfs were using the boogeymen as a tracker as the creature searched for what it understood the Dwarfs to be, a lost child. Boogeymen thought that Dwarfs were children and for whatever reason would protect them.

If Noah thought that his mouth couldn't get any wider, he was wrong. The three Dwarfs and himself found the missing Dwarf on top of a small hill of dead dark creatures, fighting off a hoard and yet winning.

Noah was witnessing the very core of Dwarfhood. Despite being without weapons or allies, the ex-axe Dwarf was fighting with all his might with his loose chainmail in his hand. The Dwarf was swinging it over his head and yelling like a college frat boy.

Every time a dark creature climbed the mound to attack the Dwarf, they were met with a chainmail whip that wrapped around their heads and with a tug from the Dwarf, the creature's face was ripped off or necks broken. It was the most brutal thing Noah had seen. The three Dwarfs that were with Noah joined the chainmail Dwarf by climbing up the mound of dark creatures following behind the boogeyman leaving Noah behind.

Each time a creature met with the boogeyman, those long green fingers would reach into the dark pits of their eyes and pierce outside the back of their skulls. Noah was corrected, that was the most brutal thing he had seen....and heard.

With the Dwarfs reunited and fighting as one, the wave of dark creatures was easily whittled down. As Noah watched, he had a special tingle go down his spine. He witnessed something special. A small party vs an army, a last stand but not for the Dwarfs

It wasn't long before the winners were the four Dwarfs who were all waving their cloth blankets over their heads and drinking their private stash of houch. Noah might have joined them with the celebrations but his stomach was doing somersaults after witnessing the boogeyman's lanky and somewhat ever-changing form giving all the dwarfs pats on their heads.

There was something about boogeymen patting fully grown Dwarfs heads like they were adorable children that didn't sit well with Noah. It might be that each Dwarf had a full beard and looked nothing like a kid, or it might be the way they swore with every other word but it was most likely the hungry look that the boogeyman had on his face that just put the chills in his soul.