The Notorious Misadventures of an Alchemist and a Phoenix, Chapter 28

Noah was happy with how the Arbiter ruled, he walked out with a nice profit. The thieves guild had no choice but to discard the case of the phoenix stealing his feathers back, as they were Noah's property in the first place.

The casino and thieves guild had to pay reparations for the attack on the Alchemy Bank, which would go straight into Noah's pocket. The thieves guild would get their money back from the Casino. The thieves guild even offered two rank increases in membership if the Alchemy Bank wouldn't collect on the reparations. Noah agreed with a fake nod coming from Margo.

The destruction of Casino property and reparations to their employees was taken out of Noah's Casino winnings but he was forbidden on betting in the Casino again. Bella was fined for stealing Noah's wallet and her guild membership was decreased by two levels

Finally, the phoenix had to do community service, not for attacking the Casino but for trying to stuff Corprol Honey into a bag. This was why he was in jail in the first place, not for stealing as that was a thieves guild problem but for resisting arrest from corporal Honey. This was argued down to mild annoyance battering when it was pointed out that Corprol Honey hadn't said a single thing about arresting.

Arbiter Cex would make a mark in his notes that everyone lost except the phoenix who had started it all.

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Many weeks later, a special event happened. An ancient realm spilt opened and leaked into this realm. Dark red light poured onto the land and soft white mist rolled from the rip. Many adventures invaded the space and every single one of them ran for the hills. Great armies, looking for treasures tried their luck but also failed.

Then the isekai tried their luck. The sky above the rip was bathed in light as powerful skills were used, mixed and combined. And yet the same results happened.

It turned out the mist that flowed in the area had a psychedelic effect that caused great fear and panic. When the adventures took a step in they ran to the hills screaming and started a hippy convoy of peace and love. When the army sniffed the misted air they too left the area as fast as possible but in the biggest mosh pit ever seen. When the mist took effect on the Isekied minds they ran from the mist shouting at the top of their lungs "NO, NO, NOT TRUCK KUN". No one understood what that meant but the isekai were always weird, so no one asked about it.

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Not a single person was able to go inside the red tear but a single person walked out with his fluffy pet Samoyed. The guy and his pet dog walked around in circles, as all dogs do when sniffing new areas.

"What a shit hole" the guy brushed a none existing dust particle from his tweed suit

Poppy barked in agreement.

Poppy was quickly picked up and snuggled by the man. Poppy reciprocated with frantic licking that knocked the tweed cap from the man's head. If it weren't for his horns the tweed cap would have fallen to the floor. The guy was a devil or maybe a demon, who knows?

Devils and gods were kind of the same thing, but unlike the gods, devils didn't bet but made deals. The gods worked in vague ways but the devils worked as lawyers, the best and most expensive lawyers, but instead of an arm and a leg it was souls.

It wasn't always this way, Devils didn't care about mortals or their filthy habits. It began when the devils and gods made a deal, a deal for mortal souls.

Devils only did their jobs when it came to souls but their real passion was their pets. Devils loved their fluffy companions and took care of them like their own family.

When the Devil sat down to sign contracts and sort out where souls would end up the gods pulled a fast one. In a clause written in the margin, hidden on a microscopic level was an added paragraph that said "All dogs go to heaven"

When the devil's poor little pets died of old age, they used to spend their afterlife with their master. Death wasn't the end when it came to Devils but because of the god's cruel trick, the Devils had to say goodbye to their best friend.

After that, each and every Devil became an expert in contracts and law, and each and every Devil vowed to take it out on the gods.

So, throughout the aeons, the Devils would make contracts that screwed the gods. But even this didn't make the gods angry.

However, by a master stroke of irony and bitter mockery, the Devils hid a passage that all "cats go to heaven" causing the proud and smug felines to stomp all around heaven doing what they wanted and pooping where they wanted without fear or caring about the gods.

This was why the Gods and Devils didn't get along. Devils hate the gods because they are never to reunite with their best friends and the gods hate the Devils because cats are bastards.

This was why a Devil had turned up. There was a rumour that the gods were having trouble with a mortal and no matter how small the trouble was, Devils were always inspired to make it bigger.

With a little shake and a plucking of the devil's hair, chaos minions birthed from the devil's essence went their way to cause a special kind of panic. Their mission was to find and gently push the mortal into fabulous mayhem

Of course, that mortal was Noah and the chaos minions found him filling small bottles of health potions. The Alchemy Bank was incredibly well protected but that was nothing when chaos minions were involved. They blended with the air, turned to smoke, twisted and turned in on themselves like a snake eating its tail, all to gain access to where they needed to go.

The chaos minion gently sat on the shoulder of Noah and whispered into his ear. The language of the whispering minion was unintelligible. People called it "talking in tounges " but that was because minions had a really bad speech impediment.

Minions used their ability, a sort of persuasive skill that caused strong and deep psychosis. The minion had learnt that Noah had a high wisdom and was going to be a challenge to control but it was the opposite. The minion could feel his skill work on this mortal mind.

"Why am I doing this, I'm better than this," thought Noah

He allowed the semi-filled vial to drop to the ground and dashed out of the room, carefully closing the door behind him.

"Mission complete," thought the little minion.

Unfortunately for the minion, he had bewitched the wrong Noah. The real one was on the other side of the bank, slamming doors closed and just being a massive pain in the ass to the golems who had to clean up after him.

Clone Noah left the Bank uncharacteristically quiet compared to his other half