The Notorious Misadventures of an Alchemist and a Phoenix, Chapter 15
Gods notes
*"Thou shall keep your nose out of it" is the only commandment the god of secrets has.
When people ask about the commandment and why there was only this one sentence in the whole holy book, they are quickly thrown out of the church for breaking the commandment
Some would say that if you can't ask questions then how powerful can the god of secrets be? The answer came from a jester who completely by accident spurted out the answer when trying some new jokes out
"Everyone believes that they are the most faithful to their god and only to their god but every sentient being will have tiny side prays that reach the ears of the other gods".
"Please don't allow my wife to find out"
"Please don't let my boss find out
"Mommy won't know if I eat this cookie"
So, how powerful is the god of secrets? I don't know but everyone prays to him*
The phoenix hated times like this. Noah had been away from his workshop and now was making up the time by becoming engrossed in his work. New ingredients equalled possible new recipes and the phoenix knew better than to get in Noah's way.
It wouldn't surprise the phoenix if the workshop was completely redesigned when he got back. The last time he had seen something like this was when Noah had discovered the many uses of dungeon twine. The twine was used in dungeon rope making and the traditional use was for an emergency exit from dungeons by the use of the rope snaking its way out.
This was why the phoenix didn't fly inside the workshop as the whole of the ceiling was covered in dungeon rope. The ropes supported all kinds of things and with the slightest touch could move massive objects with ease. This was how Noah could move tons of liquids with little help. And yet it was a massive pain for the phoenix because the dungeon rope would wrap around him like a python whenever he got too close.
"Sod that," thought the phoenix
He wouldn't be able to move without getting stepped on by the golems or shooed by Noah.
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Instead, the phoenix grabbed his loot bag and left for his warehouse, on his way there he kicked over four cans, broke two crates and punched a cat that tried to pounce on him.
It would be nice to say that the phoenix warehouse was solid and structurally sound but it was anything but. The only safeguard to the rotting wooded warehouse was the bear-shaped security guard who by all standers was an actual bear.
It wasn't just humans that were Isekai'ed away but animals too. The phoenix found the bear dancing on her ball, earning herself food and coin. The phoenix felt sorry for the creature and gave her a place to stay. Now she stayed at the warehouse at night and earned food during the day. She could have been an adventurer or hero but she was a bear and knew what made her happy. Food and sleep.
The phoenix passed her and for a bear, she gave a very dainty curtsy, the added stats she had gained from being Isekai'ed had changed her, the phoenix had seen something like that from other Isekai'ed animals. The system worked differently with animals, it boosted what they already had and raised the natural capacity of the animals. Clair the bear had been intelligent when she was a performer and now so much more.
The phoenix enter his warehouse and inspected his loot. It was a mess, a mix of extraordinary items mixed with everyday trash. Thanks to the phoenix bird brain he picked up anything shiny.
The phoenix tossed his loot sack into a pile of rubbish and kicked the hell out of it. The floating flaming skulls that had been kidnapped and unceremoniously stuffed into a sack poured out in a panic. Each one was shaking with terror, the combined noise of chattering teeth played an odd but strangely good melody that the phoenix liked, it might have been that the phoenix got off on fear.
"ATTENTION" screamed the phoenix, "LINE UP, YOU MAGGOTS"
The flaming skulls just looked at each other, not understanding what to do they just stayed perfectly still.
"DO IT, DO IT, DO IT" screamed the phoenix
Not understanding, the skulls panicked and moved around until purely by accident and different degrees of shouting the skulls managed to create a lineup. Only when the phoenix stopped shouting was when the skulls stopped moving. They correctly deduced that when not being screamed at they were doing the correct thing.
The phoenix walked up and down the line looking each skull in the eye. This caused great instability to wash over the skulls as their special ability to cause paralysing status effect didn't work, their most powerful weapon was nothing more than a dirty look to the phoenix. Abruptly, the phoenix was stopped by a skull that was trying its hardest to cause a status effect but only managed to eyeball the phoenix.
"What are you looking at" the phoenix gritted his beak in anger.
Suddenly, the phoenix grabbed the skull beside the unruly one and shoved his boney face into the dirt ground, what followed was an unnecessary beat down.
"I'm the captain and you are private scum," said the phoenix while smoothing his feathers down and pointing to each floating flaming skull.
The pummelled skull couldn't move or just choose not to, a big shadow fell on it. Hopping that the end would be quick, the skull's flaming crystal eyes dimmed.
The skull twitched when a cold wet nose prodded it, and then a massive claw awkwardly fumbled the skull around until it picked it up and carried it away.
Clair the bear was indeed a powerhouse of muscle, just like all of her grizzly kind but she also had a delicate touch that she was using to take care of the defeated skull. She placed the battered skull on her favourite pillow and sloppy fed it red potion that she had earned by dancing.
Whenever the phoenix lost his temper with the floating skulls and ultimately kicked their non-existing ass, Clair would take them away.
The phoenix wanted the floating skulls to protect his stuff, a new security team that he could rely on, but before he could rely on them he had to break them down. Some, if not all would say he was a bully.......but not to his face.