The Notorious Misadventures of an Alchemist and a Phoenix, Chapter 1

"I've done it" whispered the old man

"Finally, I have it" the old man yelled while standing straight as a rod and thrusting out his arm to reveal his protected work.

A glorious golden liquid swirled in a simple glass container. Light shinned through the magnificent liquid causing an unworldly aura.

"Just one sip and everything will change" The old man brought the decanter to his lips.

The air froze in anticipation as some history-defining event was about to happen. The bouncing phoenix was still as his sharp beady eyes followed the holy glass container to the old man's lips............

Suddenly a loud crash caused the old man to jump in fright and drop and spill the liquid gold. The phoenix's head snapped to the door that had flown up open.

In walked a young man in his mid-twenties. His hair was short and scruffy similar to what a blind man would have if they had cut it with a knife. His face was twisted in anger.

"WHO THE FUCK IS THIS" shouted the young man to the phoenix.

The phoenix looked to the floor and whistled as he shrugged to surgest like he didn't know.

"WHO IS THIS GUY" the young man violently pointed at the old man "HOW DID HE GET IN HERE"

Continuously shrugging like it was a newfound dance move the phoenix steadily shuffled away from his perch to some open bottles. Peering inside the phoenix clacked his beak in annoyance as he found nothing of worth inside "I don't know"

The young man stomped over to the phoenix ready to choke the life out of him, only to accidentally kick the dropped glass flask, causing the liquid to spill all over the floor.

The old man yelped and dropped to his knees as he tried to pool the liquid with his bare hands.

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The young man watched as the old man started to sob hysterically and desperately try to lap up the liquid with his tongue off the floor

"FUCK IS THIS?" screeched the young man

Seeing this the phoenix brighten up "Awwwwwww, it's not every day you see a grown man drink his piss...... off the floor even"

The young man's angry twisted face changed to understanding. The little bastard bored bird had invited a crazy homeless old man into his refurnished impregnable Alchemy shop just so he could watch a man drink his waste.

The young man wanted to slap the phoenix but held back his fist. the hot vexation flowed through him but he knew his backhand slaps couldn't hurt a child let alone a legendary creature such as a phoenix, purely because of his class stats distribution.

Alchemist's three major stats was wisdom, intelligence and dexterity. None in strength. So he was as weak as he was when he first joined the system and chose Alchemist as his class.

Holding back his rage for the bird the young man instead stomped over to the old sobbing man and tried to throw him out only to fail because of his strength stat being crap. Instead of struggling with the old man and ending up fist-fighting against a smelly old man who he would most likely lose to, he grabbed the almost empty bottle and lead the sniffling old man out of his workshop like a carrot leading a donkey.

Returning to the workshop the young man looked directly at the phoenix as if to kill him. The phoenix took no notice as he jumped onto a worktop and grabbed the nearest bottle taking a long swig from it.

Watching the young man pacing in frustration, the phoenix knocked over an empty bottle while reaching for a fresh unopened elixir "What's the big deal, Noah? Nothing got stolen or destroyed"

Noah hated when the phoenix used his name "Call me master, you're my familiar, for gods sake"

"Why I dooooo declare, MASTER" fanning his face with his wing like a woman who had a sudden hot flash, the phoenix dropped to the floor similar to an old school maiden fainting.

Noah gritted his teeth with fury. The pompous warbler had been hanging out with the transmigrator again. The transmigrator wasn't bad, Noah himself had a couple of transmigrators as friends. He had learnt a lot of things from them and their world but the problem was that they were....... weird. And the weirdness had rubbed off on his phoenix. maybe it was the other way around. The phoenix was never normal. Ever since Noah had gotten the bird as a gods gift for reaching Expert level in Alchemy the goofball bird drank more booze than the hardest dwarf and caused Noah any amount of frustration. Sometimes Noah thought the gods had sent the bird brain to him just so he would fail his Alchemy and be set back.

Despite the phoenix being difficult to control there was a surefire way to get him to behave. The phoenix was a massive drunk. Noah had seen him drink the concoction known as a killer spice and just shrug it off. The spice should have afflicted a random status effect and yet being a legendary bird the phoenix wasn't affected at all.

Noah looked at his grandfather's clock to find he was late. He needed to leave now but not before baiting the phoenix to do some actual work.

"Clean up this piss" Noah waved his hand through the air to gesture to the pools of Wizz on the stone floor

The phoenix shook his head to indicate he wouldn't

"Do a good job and you can have a bottle of the good stuff from THE CABNITE"

The phoenix was now bobbing his head in agreement, tongue out panting like a tired thirsty dog, the eyes of the phoenix darted to the wooden cabinet that held his favourite treats. If it weren't for the massive metal lock holding the doors back, the phoenix would have ransacked everything in there.

"Thank the gods he's just a bird brain." Noah thought. If the phoenix tried to melt the lock with his prestigious flames it would turn the lock into a mass of melted slag and become even harder to open. But if he just used his small bird brain then he could break the wooden handles that held the lock and have free access

"Do a good job" Noah repeated while pointing at the phoenix.

Noah had to leave now or he would be late for his other job. Despite being a fabulously rich portrayal of potions, Noah had a job that was forced on him. A job that he detested, a job With the worst scum of the universe. Power-hungry, screaming greedy animals who at the drop of a hat would smack the nearest person and look at you like it was the most natural thing to do. Creatures who had no compassion or empathy. Noah shuddered at the thought of the hands reaching out and taking anything they wanted.

Noah's other job was teaching kids. He didn't like it.