The Notorious Misadventures of an Alchemist and a Phoenix, Chapter 22

Noah woke up on a bed made from what felt like the hardest and pointest brick and stone, completely naked. He was hanging over a low wall with all of his expensive leather plage suit decorating some pawnshop window. Noah's head throbbed with the kind of pain you get when you hold your breath for too long and turn red.

Sliding off the wall with as much enthusiasm as a tired dog, Noah braced himself by picking up whatever trash he could find to cover himself up.

Noah hailed a bike taxi but only the blind would stop for a broke and nude guy. If it were a broke and nude beauty, there would be a conga line of bike taxis waiting to pick them up. Life is unfair when you weren't gorgeous.

People tutted when they saw Noah walk of shame but did nothing but look, even the City Watch held back because several gods liked that kind of thing and it wasn't a good idea to chastise and arrest a person doing gods work.

Noah checked on his Challenge Quest sent by the system

"Systems Challenge

Class change to a Berserker and hold the rage for one year.

The challenge will be forfeited if the class is changed from Berserker.

The class will stay at Beginner tier though out the challenge

You may deactivate Berserkers rage but only when the skill is active will it count toward holding the rage for a year

Time in the rage: 4 hours

Reward: Advancement to Master tier Berserker

Only four hours and yet Noah couldn't remember a single minute. Noah looked to the sky and then back to his bare feet. His feeling on the matter of his new class was mixed. He had been looking forward to finally getting an attack skill but the only skill he had gotten was rage.

Rage: Boosts attack speed and strength by 10% for every 10% lost health pool. Clouds the mind with anger.

It was easy to understand that the skill almost had zero synergies with his stats or skills. Most Berserker had at least three physical classes to support the health loss and gain the best opportunity from the 10% increase.

Noah's weakness was greed and anger. The Berserker class seemed to be the perfect class to trap him. It was just a shame that with all of his wisdom, Noah hadn't realised it. He couldn't see the forest for the trees.

Getting back home was a mess of angry tutting from a passerby, and yet, The City Watch seemed to be missing, they had been part of the biggest crackdown in the last ten years and were busy.

The walk of shame wasn't so bad, but that was because Noah's mind was thinking of ways he could beat the system. A potential answer was in one of the enchanted bags filled with loot. Noah had to test it out.

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The phoenix had a good time with the dancing undead but all good things come to an end, and that end was when the phoenix understood that they would never stop dancing. Undead had unlimited stamina, it wasn't fun trying to out-dance your opponent when they would never stop. There was of course the other reason he had to leave, his throat was feeling a little parched.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

Flying home, the phoenix slapped a gaggle of gooses, spat on a herd of Centaurs and stole a pie off a window, but apart from that it was a very uneventful trip. The Phoenix was full of glee when he busted into the Alchemy bank ready for a slap-up supper of super sweat solutions.

Noah was at one of his preparation tables when the phoenix floated in. Noah briefly looked up to spot the phoenix and went back to work. The phoenix was a little upset as this was his favourite place for downing a powerful solution but Noah was here and even though he wouldn't mind taking a bottle or two, he planned to drink to his heart's contents, and Noah would find a way to stop it.

With the preparation room occupied, the phoenix left. Pouncing along the corridors like a dog who has heard the dinner bell, the phoenix dashed and rolled dived into the mass-produced area, where he was going to drink his fill from the grand barrels, only for the phoenix to skid to a halt when he spotted Noah working at one of the mega barrels

The phoenix's eyes bulged, and the fire in his veins pulsed as confusion turned into annoyance and then to resentment.

"Are you messing with me" shouted the phoenix. He waddled up to Noah with his wings on his hips

"Are you listening to me" the phoenix tugged Noah's grey robe.

"Stop messing with it," said Noah from behind the phoenix

Noah had never seen the phoenix jump in fright and it pleased him greatly. The phoenix on the other hand was bewildered as his head bounced back and forth between the two Noahs.

Noah had used one of the Artafact he had found in the vampire's castle

Hemoglobin Homunculi

A tool that creates a clone of the user with half the stats of the user

The clone can do the same things as the user and also has the skills.

A blood sacrifice is needed to form the clone

Noah was hoping the clone would help towards the rage time, but it wasn't so, and now Noah had a copy of himself that didn't help with the quest. Noah put him to work instead.

Noah was moving on to the next idea, and for that, he would need ingredients from the brewer down the road. Noah didn't want to leave his home, so he would do something a little risky.

An enchanted sack full of gold was roughly shoved into the phoenix's lap and he was sent out to do the chores that Noah didn't want to do. How did Noah make the phoenix do this?

Threats did nothing but aggravate the phoenix, only the sweet, sweet promise of liquid delights could move the phoenix into doing what Noah wanted and this was the only reason the phoenix was now making his way towards the brewery.

Doing any type of work caused the phoenix to be in the foulest mood

"Why do I have to do this, it's beneath me" muttered the phoenix

"What would Noah do if I just left with the gold and never return" the phoenix paused, even with his bird brain he knew that it was a bad idea, but a new equally stupid idea wiggled into his mind.

"I don't need Noah, what I need is a way to be independent" the phoenix tossed the heavy sack over onto his back and skipped to the place where you could make it big with a sack full of gold. The Scarlet Ribbon Casino.

There was a commonality in the multiverse that all casinos will eventually win, this was something the phoenix didn't know but he was quickly finding out. The Casino welcomed him with open arms. Strictly, the Casino wouldn't allow animals like the phoenix to play but gold opened many routes, and there was nothing better than a fool with bags of gold.

Even when the phoenix had lost all of the gold, credit was opened up for him and when that was used up the Casino sent their muscle to deal with the phoenix.

A very old man that held a singing sword introduced himself. Without looking the phoenix told him to beat it

"I'm afraid that the house can't run you any more credit" explained the old man

"IS MY CASH NOT GOOD ENOUGH" the phoenix's annoyance had reached new heights. He had never lost so hard in his life and never been verbally challenged with muscle backing it.

In desperation, which he was unfamiliar with, the phoenix slapped the table and deposited one of his feathers. The old man was about to interfere when the Casino Pitboss stopped him.

Phoenix feathers were rare and expensive, not much was known about them but it was without a doubt worth a lot of money. If it wasn't for Noah keeping all the phoenix feathers for himself then there would be more solid reasons to want them and how much they were worth.

Luck was a fickle thing but that didn't matter when you had a birdbrain that didn't even know how the game was played. The phoenix was unbelievably confident, even when he shouldn't be. It didn't take an hour before the phoenix had lost all of his feathers and now looked like a plucked chicken. Shortly after, he was kicked out of the Casino.

The phoenix vowed revenge on what he perceived as the cheating Casino.