So this was pretty.

Visually, anyway.

It was like the fourth of July had seizure-babies with some spoiled heiress' sweet-sixteen, and someone had left out their caffeine pills for them to get into.

Colorful explosions of all kinds. The exotics of the XPCA -- the last of the exotics -- and the Exhuman powers of those New Edeners in their recently-built fortress, all across the no-man's-land, they burst and flared, vivid flashes painted across the dusky sky, reflected in the shiny black of the thousands of exosuits.

If I could just turn off my brain and watch, I'd have been dazzled. I tried to let out an appreciative 'ooh' and 'ahh' at particularly magnificent displays of death, but Athan didn't seem in the mood somehow.

And honestly, I wasn't either. It was hard to be when all these tens of thousands of minds were so on-edge around me. It was painful, like literally walking through a field of razors. Some of the powers had further reach, had landed in the masses, and the intensity of their pain dazzled my senses.

It was just too much for me to handle. But Athan didn't need to know that. I forced myself to giggle as he carried me past a half-melted exosuit, its pilot thankfully dead and not screaming his death throes into my mind.

Athan looked down at me and shook his head with disgust. I blew him a raspberry.

"This is it, up ahead," Karu announced.

Somehow, she was almost unaffected by this place. I wondered -- but not really wondered, because then I'd just do something about finding out -- what kinds of gory hellscapes she'd seen in the past that this wouldn't rattle her.

A lot of it, I knew, was her visor at work. It didn't censor the world, exactly, but peering at the mess through it tended to sanitize things. It was easier to be clinical and professional when grotesque injuries were labelled with sterile tags of blood pressure and wound depth. Easier to block out the screams when everything was audio-balanced, and the visor prioritized the audio of anything it deemed an essential threat, over mere background noise.

Which was, fucked as it was, where we currently were. Chaos and pain were just background noise to be tuned out. Karu's visor was doing it. Athan was hard at focus on what little he actually could do. And I was sitting here, cradled in his burly, manly arms, trying to make jokes and pretend that the people screaming wasn't getting to me.

Kinda made me think of all the times I'd joked about how much or how many I could slaughter. The trump card I'd always threatened to play of going off and knocking over a city.

Listening to the screaming in my head, I knew I'd never play that card. This was fucking awful. Anyone who thought war was a viable solution to a problem had never been in one. Or if I did, it would have to be a silent event. Take over the city, mind-by-mind, without suffering. Without...all of this.

We paused outside the command building, two hulking exosuits looking down at us with blank faceplates. The building itself wasn't so commanding, same prefabricated appearance as half the stuff here, the rest, repurposed buildings from some junior college. A base built with no personality to speak of. A temporary edifice, like a tumor growing beyond what was normal. A black, cancerous growth -- this little college would never be the same, would be forever scarred by what happened here tonight.

I shook my head. Dark thoughts were getting to me. It was hard not to be moody when the atmosphere was so oppressive. To the others, I knew, it was just loud booms and massed soldiers and fireworks. But they didn't have to hear every single death, didn't have to feel it, didn't have to rush to put that person's final thoughts out of mind. To know exactly how many orphans and widows and widowers were being created as we walked.

"What do you want?" one of the guards finally spoke to us. We'd been standing here a few seconds now, and it'd become apparent we weren't continuing past. He looked down at me cradled in Athan's arms. "Medical's down that way."

"I'd like you badge us in," Athan said to him, but looked at me.

"Badge…? What's this, some kind of joke?" The metal figure half-pivoted at the waist to stare at the other guard. "What unit are you with? Who's your CO?"

Athan cleared his throat. "Uh, Saga?"

"Oh. Yeah, sorry." I grit my teeth against all the distractions.

"What rank insignia even is that? She's not even injured, is she?"

"Hmm," I muttered. "Good point, this isn't a very convincing disguise."

"Disguise?" His gun trained on me. "You three don't move, I'm going to call this in."

He stopped, perplexed for a moment, as I drew Athan's knife off his shoulder sheath, and then, shooting the guard a wink, plunged it into my guts. The pain was white-hot and immediate, but nothing compared to what was outside. Athan frowned at my display, but he knew I was right, that we'd get a lot fewer glances if I was just another casualty.

"What the fuck--?"

The guard staggered back half a step. He turned as his buddy moved, his confusion redoubling as the other guard tapped the access panel and swung open the doors for us. And then he stopped entirely, as both of them fell asleep on their feet.

"That was too close," Athan complained, hustling inside. "What took you so long?"

"Oh, y'know. Pleasure before business. Just trying to compel 'em so that next time they poop, they think it's crawling up instead of falling out."

"Do so on your own time, miscreant," Karu said. Like the prissy little bitch didn't entertain her own sick fantasies sometimes.

"Yeah uh, we really need you here," Athan pleaded. "Can you maybe focus, please?"

I grinned at him. "Oh, I guess. Y'know, it'd help if you changed how you were holding me. I've got this perfectly gropable cooch, y'see…"

Athan ignored me, but his hands did shift away from my butt a little as he went just a shade redder. I cackled at his discomfort.

And outside, a particularly nasty ball of death landed. Some strike team got obliterated by a compressed gemstone of some kind, which shattered amidst them into nature's own shrapnel. The shards punched straight through their exosuits, riddling each of them with thousands of perforations, each of their essential organs were shredded, and all of them were dead. Just not yet.

I could feel their hope draining away as realization sunk in on them. Their suits were patching themselves with structure foam and medical gel, the surface-level injuries on their bodies mended already.

But it wouldn't do a damn thing. Each of them was hemorrhaging underneath. Each was just a skin balloon, their cavities filling with blood. They were beginning to cough now, aspirating on their own blood, their wet, choking hacking doing nothing but painting the insides of their faceplates in red. In moments, they couldn't see their own screens anymore, couldn't see each other.

But they could hear each other. Each of them knew, every one of them was dead. They could hear the wet hacking, the heavy, gurgling fullness of their lungs, echoing on comms in each others' ears.

There wasn't any time for them to have thoughts. None of them thought of their wives or children. None of them thought of who they'd leave behind, what half-finished projects they'd undertaken with their lives. Nobody's life flashed before their eyes.

There was just drowning. Pain, from a body riddled with holes. The struggle to keep from panic. Coughing, more and more blood coming out, but never enough, the lungs filling faster than could be cleared out. A death by inches, as the blood pooled deeper and deeper inside them. One of them was lucky, his heart had been punctured, and he'd bleed out instead of choke to death.

"Hey, c'mon," Athan said, shaking me. "You weren't listening to a word I said, were you?"

I grinned at him. "Sorry. Was thinking about new sex positions you can only manage with a girl who can't die. You know how if I come back with a knife still in me, it stays there? Well, gotta imagine what that might feel like if it was a penis--"

"Saga, what the fuck, seriously."

He seemed furious, which was good. Honestly, it wasn't my best excuse. Being fucked and being punctured were about the only things in my mind right now, and I was glad he didn't see through me.

Which, hell, if he wanted, he might have been able to. Athan had the annoying capacity to delve into my mind more than I cared for. But he was focused outside me right now, frantically worrying about his sister, and all these Exhumans, and the XPCA who were attacking 'em.

And if he thought I was in distress, he'd add me on that list of woes, sweet guy that he was. He didn't need that.

"Sorry, so what's up?" I asked.

"Command is in this building somewhere," he repeated with irritation. "Probably that section we passed with all the people running around in front of all the computers. But I don't know. We need to find them and you need to convince them to call off this op. I can't imagine the casualties are that bad, yet--"

"Oh, you'd be surprised," I told him.

He frowned at me. "Did you find someone with a number? Have they lost that many already?"

"No, just a...feeling," I grinned at him. "You're right, though, command was back behind us. Get me a little closer and I'll see what I can do."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't distracted. Not just by the continued assault of pain and gore on my senses, but by Athan, too. His mind was going a mile a minute in the worst possible directions, and with our minds unnaturally open to each other, it was hard not to listen to his ever-shifting thoughts.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

But I tried to shut him out as best I could and do this thing, anyway. Command was here, one of the lower-ranking XPCA generals was on the ground.

Which made me swear as I pawed through his mind and the implications.

"It's no good," I told Athan. "He's here, yeah, but the op is being managed from the top. The big ol' fattie generals, they're not physically present...hell, they might be with the president, and they're overseeing everything."

"So cut them out," Karu said. "Even if the command given is illegitimate, have the highest authority present issue a retreat."

"I could do that, but it won't fix anything. High command would just belay the order, and from the look of things, the ground troops are being micromanaged by TARGA anyway -- the order would never even get out to them, 'cuz she'd know it wasn't a legitimate order."

"Well, what can we do?" Athan shouted. I wished he wouldn't, I was only inches from his face.

"I don't know. This entire command hub is just...it's not even command, it looks like," I said, my mind searching others' furiously. I was being so reckless about it, they were beginning to take notice. "It's more a communication spoke, relaying orders from external command."

Athan was already on his mobile. "AEGIS, can you cut off command's connection to the outside?"

Karu and I waited. There were long seconds where the two of us were just staring at Athan's face. It grew to an awkward length of time, transitioned past waiting into staring at him.

"Why not?" he asked, suddenly cracking the silence. "Because what?"

"As I suspected," Karu muttered, apparently her visor also good for eavesdropping on phone calls. "A secure line would not be so simple to disrupt."

"Well can't you just like, tear out the cables?" Athan asked. "We can't do anything here, because the big generals and president are running everything remotely. We need an outage, if the local command is to have any authority."

"Or we could just kill the president," I suggested.

He swatted at me, scrunching up his face as though I didn't know he was on the phone.

"Yeah, sorry," he continued. "Okay. Okay...okay…"

The half-call I could hear continued like this for some time. Athan just repeating what we needed to do, and listening to all the reasons why AEGIS thought we couldn't do it. I tried to imagine the possibilities, all the silly redundancies I knew the XPCA liked to deploy, how many engineers and robots would be at work to make sure the line stayed active.

But I couldn't. I couldn't focus for more than a few seconds. People kept screaming, kept dying in my head. AEGIS and Karu had a point, Exhumans were brutal.

And still, the majority of the forces were just being held off. Something wasn't right about the situation. The XPCA wanted to move forward, but were being held back, but the New Edeners weren't doing anything much more than that. It could have been trivial for them to surge out towards the line, slaughtering tens of thousands in mere minutes.

Instead, they sat there, holed up. Killing only those that approached, shooting down artillery and VTOLs which threatened. Waiting?

Maybe they intended to drag this out for hours, until Justice showed up. Maybe they wanted to use the XPCA as a meat shield, distracting him while they focused on their real target.

Or, maybe everyone with a spine had left New Eden already during the previous episode, and this was just the gutless worms left over in the dregs. The powerful and weak. Too strong to budge, too weak to walk.

Athan hung up, and the snap of his mobile broke me out of the battlefield.

"So, how's she doin'?" I asked.

He glared at me. "She doesn't think she could take the line down faster than TARGA could get it back up. There's multiple data-lines running physically throughout the base, to say nothing of antennae and satellites."

"How about an EMP?" Karu asked. "That would knock out their communications with efficacy."

"It would," Athan grimaced. "Except it'd knock out all of their communications."

"Ah. I see."

"See what?" I asked.

Athan shook his head at me. "We need to cut off external command, but without blowing up where we are, or else we'll just make it so there's nobody giving orders. That doesn't help us stop the operation, it'd just lead to a panic."

I saw another strike team, engulfed in flames that wouldn't extinguish, no matter the amount of suppressant the exosuit deployed. I swallowed hard.

"Let's do that," I said.

"Do...do what? Knock out everything?"

"Yeah."

"I just told you. That'd cut off high command, sure, but then this guy wouldn't be able to order a retreat because he'd be offline, too. No matter how well you mindjacked him."

"No, I know that," I agreed. "It's just…"

I frowned at him and tried real hard to get my head straight. Maybe this was a stupid plan, but I had to...had to believe that what I was feeling, everyone else wasn't just completely blind to it. Someone, somewhere, was feeling these deaths with me, more than just the dying. The XPCA out there, they were seeing their brothers and sisters getting cut down and blown up, weren't they?

Or were they like Karu? Seeing the world through the sterile lens of their exosuit's HUD. The screaming of their peers, muted, as just irrelevant comms chatter.

I shook my head, trying to banish the thoughts. I was better than this. I had more control of my mind than anyone. I shouldn't be letting this get to me.

No matter how many of them were screaming their last breaths.

"If we cut off command, I can go out there and instil panic," I explained. "We can't order a retreat, but we can inspire one."

"Now hold on," Karu injected. "I understand your military prowess is lacking, but inciting a panic does not save lives. The anarchy you create will consume those trapped within it. Animals will bite and claw at any within reach, and these animals will have guns."

"I know, it's...dangerous." I found myself gesticulating moronically at her. "But they want to run, I know they want to run. Every soldier out there is dazzled with how many Exhumans they're facing down."

"You can see that in their minds?" Athan asked.

I chewed my lip. "Um. Kinda?"

"What do you mean, 'um kinda?'," Karu advanced on me. "Are you witnessing it, or are you not?"

"Yeah, come on, Saga. You've been so...I don't want to say useless, but get your head in the game, seriously. I know this is a joke to you, but there's fucking people getting killed out there, right now. Please take it a little seriously."

I stared at Athan, wanting to reach back up and borrow his knife to give him a disguise matching mine. The fact that he could fucking stand there and say that shit to me with a straight face.

Of course, it wasn't his fault. Not really. I'd had my mind clamped shut against him as hard as I could manage, this entire time. I'd been lying to him with basically every word I'd said since we got here. I wanted to scream at him, rip open our minds and show him just who and how many I'd experienced dying already. I wanted to hold open his eyes and see how he felt, drinking in the poison of pain that I'd been drowning in.

Instead, I grinned and shoved my cheek into his chest. "Yeah, sorry. It's just so comfy in your arms. If you find a little wet spot on your biceps down there, it's not blood." I winked.

He sighed enormously.

"Um, I don't know," I told Karu. "I don't know what they're feeling. Everyone's really focused on the fight. Everyone's trying really hard not to break, but it's hard to get a general read on whether that means they're broken and holding it together...or they actually are as cohesive as their thoughts project."

"The latter," Karu announced with certainty. "The XPCA are nothing if not fanatical and well-trained. Those who wish to serve join the air force. Those who wish to fight, the army. And those who wish to make a difference, the XPCA. Or so their recruiters would put it."

"Those who wish to die, more like," Athan scowled.

"Did you not join at some point? At two points, variously?" Karu cocked her head at him.

He ignored her. "The point is, yeah, they're a little loyal and a little fanatical. This is the biggest event ever, and everyone knows it. I don't see anyone backing out now."

"Not...by choice," I reminded him. "I would push them along."

"And it would not go as you hope. I am well aware of what level of control you can actually exert over such a group," Karu crossed her arms at me. "You could instill the madness, but not control it, yes?"

"But...I mean…" I floundered for words.

Maybe they were right. Maybe I'd rather everyone be killing each other and it be my fault, than...than this. Maybe some part of me wanted a full-blown massacre, just so it'd all be over at once. This strategy of constantly pushing forward and getting pushed back, it was just...gross. It was like it was designed to be a meat grinder.

It was, I realized, a plan drawn up by a civilian commander-in-chief, who didn't know the real function of the XPCA. It was a plan created by someone who'd swallowed the propaganda, who thought of the agency as they wished to be thought of.

It was because we'd pushed too far, and killed too many of the wrong people. None of the previous directors would have permitted this plan, not even Blackett. And now here we were, reaping what we sowed.

I blinked and saw Athan standing above me, his eyes peering intently into mine. I swore internally and put that thought away before he saw it, but in his eyes, I noted he'd picked up on something. Not everything, but maybe enough to put the pieces together himself. Fucking shit balls, he'd be beating himself up about that for years, if he figured it out.

But when he spoke, it wasn't to dwell on that. He'd put that pain away to flay himself with it later. For now, he was still all business.

"If Saga thinks they'll run, I believe her," he said. "We're gonna do it. Karu, go do whatever you need to shield your gear from the EMP. I'm gonna make the biggest one I can."

He looked back down at me, his eyes, brown and green, and hard. "When I do, you know what to do. Try to get them to run...please."

I nodded seriously.

He swallowed hard. "And...because it looks like we're not making headway with the XPCA...I guess that just leaves one last chance to end this without a total war."

"Which is?" Karu asked.

"If we can't get the XPCA to stop fighting," Athan swallowed hard. "Maybe we can convince the New Edeners."

"You intend to charge the battlefield?" Karu asked, her voice rich with disbelief. "Do you have any idea what you are suggesting? Have you not seen the forces being repelled? With lethal force?"

"I have," he agreed. "And it's dangerous, I know. But it's our last chance at saving these people. I have to take it."

"You're a moron," I informed him. "Only telling you that 'cuz AEGIS isn't here to do it."

"I know," he nodded, setting me down. "And I hope she forgives me."

Karu began to object but stopped as Athan's hands began to glow and crackle. I could feel electric shivers running down my body, and sparks jumped off every surface, mine included, like Athan was pulling all the energy in the world from the walls.

Karu flew down the hall, yelling something indecipherable in her retreat, as the charges in Athan's hands grew ever larger. Somewhere in the command room, people were just beginning to notice strange behavior on their computers. The whole base seemed to crackle, static jumping from every wall.

It was entire minutes that Athan built his charge, bigger than I'd ever seen him manage before. Every time I thought he was done, thought the forces in his hands couldn't get any larger or more intense, he proved me wrong, refined and condensed them, until the energies in his hands were so massive and so distilled...he must have been holding a fistful of pure electrons, if such a thing were even possible.

"You ready?" Athan asked, his voice sounding weak and distant over the constant rolling of thunder.

"I'm ready," I told him.

He took another deep breath, and with it, the orbs in his hand seemed to surge even brighter, space around them seeming to distort with the tricks the light played on my eyes.

And then I saw white, and a ripple, as though the air itself was stretching, as he brought his hands together.

And then blackness, as the power in the building went out.