A few minutes ago, I wouldn't have thought it possible, but Athan, in his typical style had just gone ahead and done it anyway. And here I was. Or we were. It was hard to tell at the moment, and frankly, that scared the bejesus out of me a little.
I felt...like a big stupid baby, toddling around, stumbling and knocking things over with my clumsy brain. Somehow, Athan was there ahead of me, reassuring, leading the way. It was frustrating, that he could be better at mind games than I was, even though I knew that wasn't the case. He was just doing the easy part, and he was doing it with the ignorance and stubborn assurance. The same way a man was 'helping' his wife give birth.
In short, useful, technically essential to have around for his body, and not helpful at all. But trying.
We were mashed together in our heads, and it was only through our proximity and openness of our minds that we could achieve this kind of synch. Thoughts and feelings and senses weren't mine or his anymore, they were all being sent in to one...messy superbrain which was both of ours, and similarly, both of us were sharing half-completed thoughts, which spewed into our minds, malformed and bizarre. It felt like constantly being on the verge of saying something dumb and catching myself before I said it...except instead of being dumb, it was just alien, and instead of saying it, I was thinking it. Or he was, into me.
Very confusing stuff. And it was about to get a lot worse, as I felt him reach out to Lia.
All at once, we were her. Not...quite in the same way Athan and I were each other. This felt more like being...in her backpack or something. We were riding on Athan's level of intimacy to get into her, and that was only half of our mess of a brain right now, so I guess it would figure we were only halfway in.
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It was the difference between wearing VR goggles and looking through a holo, I guess. Instead of being Athan, I was just able to see all the things going in and out of her mind, but as though through a window. Don't get me wrong, it was still invasive as fuck, and still way closer than any two minds ever had a right to be, but it wasn't a total takeover.
Which wasn't where we were planning to stop. I took a deep breath and reached out for Karu the same way Athan was reaching into Lia.
It'd surprised me how much Karu and I had grown into each other recently. With her outlook on life changing to be more...hmm...morally flexible? That wasn't quite it. She still thought that there was a right and wrong in the world, just not a meaningful or observable one. God created chaos, and so by being chaos, she could be God's will, and all that. It wasn't that far from how I saw it all -- minus the God bit -- and we'd somehow began to get on quite well in each other's minds ever since.
Which is what I tapped into now, as I reached for hers. Trapped in her little delusional world, she didn't even notice my touch, but soon enough, I was holding her mind like Athan was holding Lia's. Everything she thought and saw, all visible to me clearly, her mind functioning like it was in my hands. Distinct from me, but encompassed.
Athan and I mentally prepared ourselves, since there wasn't much other way to do so for this kind of shit. And then, as quickly and seamlessly as we could, passed the minds we were holding to each other.