As I saw it, the only thing Whitney was absolutely right about was that screwing around in the house was a major fire hazard. Her ideas that I should just stay weak and somehow that'd help everyone...frustrating was the kindest way to put it.

I understood her opinion. She was probably one who thought that both sides of a conflict deescalating was the best outcome. She'd also probably never been in a fight. When lives were on the line, if the other person started backing off, that was the best time to attack. I was certainly still a naive hippy-dippy moron who believed killing was wrong, but even I knew the value of being prepared for something you'd hope you'd never have to do.

Her other point, though, was harder to refute. Per her suggestion, I was starting with the martial arts instead of the Exhuman stuff since that did seem a lot more reasonable, and as I waved my hands and stomped my feet on the tiled vinyl flooring feeling more like a mime than a ninja.

"Arms wider," AEGIS said with a shake of her head, holding out the book for me to see, as though if my arms were a couple inches further apart this incantation would succeed and I would magically summon badassery. I'd asked her to help me find a suitable place, and of course, on hearing there may be a fire hazard, she wouldn't let me go alone. A pair of fire extinguishers sat by her feet, also an apparent necessity.

This place was an old, creepy-ass boarded-up corner market in the ghetto, a little appallingly close to the girls' place. Just a few miles and the colorful pebble yards became chainlink and dirt, the houses became uniformly one-story, and huddled closer but still separate, as though both afraid of being alone and of being together.

Inside had been cleaned out when the shop closed, and it was dark through the boarded-up windows. Some shelves stood empty at the far ends, but the center of the room was open, tall, with nothing but rust stains to get in the way of my practice.

My practice which was currently making me feel stupid as anything. I inhaled, and then, as the book indicated, exhaled as I moved in controlled bursts to the next pose, stepping forward with my left foot and then striking straight forward with my left arm, then the same with my right foot and right arm.

"Lower," AEGIS said, tapping the book. I lowered my arm to punch at waist height. She nodded.

"I'm gonna be so great at punching Dragon in the dick," I intoned, looking at my fist floating in front of me. "I'm sure he won't be prepared for that."

"This was your idea, why are you bitching?" she asked.

I put my hands down. "You tell me. Do I look like a sweet martial arts master up here?"

"You look fine. Keep up your forms."

"AEGIS be serious. I look like a baby that hasn't realized it has arms yet. And got dropped a few times. On his head."

"You didn't expect to be perfect at this immediately, right? Come on."

"No...I didn't. It's just…" I looked down and sighed at myself. "It's what Whitney told me. I can't get it out of my head. It's making me second-guess everything here."

"Whitney doesn't know what she's talking about. She's book smart, but…" AEGIS looked down at the book in her hands. "Actually, bad choice in words. What I mean is, all I know about pretty much everything, I learned from reading it off the 'net somewhere, or from my past lives. Obviously I'm pretty capable, huh? You can learn a lot from books, whatever Whitney thinks."

She stretched so she had one leg straight up with the other planted firmly on the floor. I succeeded in only looking at the piece of cloth in between a little bit. She gave me a very self-satisfied smirk as she slowly retook her footing.

Little pink hearts, AEGIS? Really? Come on, I was supposed to be focusing here.

"You're still a total perv," she said.

"Anyway, you're missing the point," I pushed past her utter derailment of the conversation. "You might be able to kick the shit out of most anyone, but obviously it didn't work on Dragon, did it?"

She frowned at the one-eighty this took. "That doesn't prove anything."

"It validates her opinion. If someone as smart and strong as you can't learn from a book sufficiently to beat Dragon, what hope do I have?"

"I could learn from a book," AEGIS said with increasing annoyance. "I can do these stances and stuff. Here, you hold the book a second--"

"AEGIS, please. It's not a competition if you're right or if she's right. It's about taking this seriously...enough to improve without anyone going crazy."

"Yeah," she said, pausing. "Yeah." I wasn't quite sure if she was talking to me, but I was very sure she wasn't convinced. "I'll do it later," she decided.

I shook my head at her. "I keep thinking of football, and trying to remember what it was like when I started. It was so long ago, but I feel like, I was never learning by myself. Dad or Coach or somebody was always there, telling me what I was doing wrong, even if I thought I was imitating the holovids perfectly. Even if I don't agree with Whitney, it seems stupid to try to learn on my own when I'm already proof that having an instructor works."

"Well of course that works," she huffed. "Anyone can learn from an instructor. That's not the question here. The question is if we can't learn from a book. And we can."

"The question is the best way I can learn, period, AEGIS. You're being an ass."

"Fine," she said, holding the book up towards me with violent apathy. "Whatever. Just bang your head against it or give up or whatever."

"You're so obnoxious--" I took a stance "--when you're being--" I punched through the air, being mindful to carry the move all the way through "--stupidly competitive."

"I'm not just being competitive, Athan. My motto is, there's always a smarter way. Maybe kids in middle school have a few years to screw around in the dojo and piddle their way through stances until they have a yellow belt, but you're looking for results."

I did a slow turn and thrust my palm forward. "And you think the book is the best results?" My shoe slapped against the ground with another two quick steps. "Better than a real teacher? Even a dojo piddling out yellow belts?"

"Well...maybe that was just being competitive," she admitted. "But the fact still remains that you need results better and faster than just screwing around. Like, if we are gonna get you a teacher, it should be a personal instructor, who understands your situation and is preparing you for it instead of just…"

She trailed off, her head wobbling a little as she thought of a proper ending for the thought.

"Instead of doing it the right way?" I asked.

"Yeah, pretty much, I guess."

I stepped and blocked and punched my way through the rest of the motions. It still felt stupid.

"Next page, please," I asked AEGIS, breathing heavily and feeling sweat creeping at my brow.

"The book says--"

"We're learning fast, not right, aren't we?"

She frowned at me and flipped the page. I studied the figures on the next page and tried to assume the basic stance.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

"My arms are way up here. I feel like they're blocking my vision, and I'm gonna get nailed in the gut."

"Elbows in a straight line with your shoulders," she read. "A lot of striking and blocking with your elbows and knees."

I tried bringing my elbow down to protect my gut and it felt...okay. Bringing a knee up definitely closed that gap. Still pretty whatever. The book just had me taking the basic stance and doing jabs and front kicks, with AEGIS correcting my form as we went.

"I feel like--" I blew air out as I kicked forward "--being in the military, I might have had the chance to pick some of this up. Like, shouldn't I have gone to basic training or something?"

"Most military branches don't offer any combatives at all, really," AEGIS answered, spending hardly any time at all looking it up on the 'net. "Unarmed engagements are so much more unlikely than short-ranged gunfights. A few basic techniques, a few knife and anti-knife techniques, and that's about it. And the XPCA has none of that...anyone who tries to punch an Exhuman probably deserves to blow up. Some stuff for piloting an exosuit, but that's about it."

"Still feels like I missed out on something," I grunted, as I kicked again, sending beads of sweat flying across the tile floor. "How can I have been a special XPCA killer without knowing how to punch or kick?"

"I'm still not clear on why you need to punch and kick when you have powers."

"You watched the vids, right? How many times did he get past my powers, and then I just stood there while he dumpstered me?"

"Too many," she frowned.

"But if I had better footwork, better physical capacity to block and threaten to attack, I could be defended even without my defense. Like a suit of armor, y'know?" I kicked again. "If I'm a harder target, that gives me time to bring my powers to bear. It's not a matter of choosing one or the other, it's that...yeah, obviously my powers are exceptional. They're something no human's got. I'm trying to survive long enough in a fight to make them count."

She watched me thoughtfully, and I had to ask her to hold the book steady as she began absently stroking one of her pigtails.

"Sorry. I was just thinking...of a game AEGIS prime used to play."

"Sexually Harass Athan?"

"No," she smiled. "I don't play with my hair when thinking about that game."

"Please continue."

"In Kingdom Blade, Chiho had a tank character who was off-specced ranger. Prime found that build really unexpected but brilliant."

"I understood like, one of those words, and it was Chiho."

"She made a character who was really hard to kill, but in an unconventional way. Instead of being really tough like most people did, and just focusing on that, she made one who was pretty tough, but had a bunch of other kinds of protection as well. Being evasive and elusive and using temporary bonuses that could soak a hit and stuff."

"Okay…"

"And...it worked because every type of defense has weaknesses. If you're just going flat armor, you get crushed by percentage armor pen and bosses that do single large hits that push through unmitigated--"

"You're losing me again."

"The point is," she said with increased annoyance "I think you're right. Jesus."

"Well, you could have just said so."

She rolled her eyes violently enough I thought I heard her engines crackle to life for a moment there. "I didn't want you to get a big head, doofus. I'm just...kind of impressed you seem to have given this a lot of thought. It feels like it would make more sense to double-down on your advantage over Dragon and work on your powers, but what you said...well it convinced me, at least."

"I have given this a lot of thought. While you guys were all worrying about me hiding in my room, I was doing nothing but thinking."

"And yet it took Saga sending you out for a crab dinner before you realized you could train with a book?"

I kicked forward again, now definitely at the point where my breathing was turning from heavy to exhausted. "Yeah, well."

She laughed, and I might have if I didn't still have another few kicks left to repeat, and then a dozen sets of left-right-kick-knee.

"This feels better than the karate," I said, feeling the floor sticking to me in a way was was actually really disgusting. I was sweating a puddle on it after I finished and laid down, and I did not want to know how grey that puddle was from dust.

"Muay thai," AEGIS informed me. "One of the four main striking styles mixed martial arts combatants tend to focus on for its versatility and capability."

"Neat," I breathed. "What else does the book cover?"

"For striking, boxing and taekwondo. And then a crapton of grappling and ground stuff."

"I wonder if I should learn that," I said, looking at myself on the ground. "I don't think it goes with my strategy very well. If I'm grounded and they're on me, I'm probably already dead. Plus…"

I channeled some lighting and had it arc freely across my body as it escaped onto the floor, jumping hungrily into my pools of sweat.

"Yeah, you might be okay on that front," AEGIS agreed. "Maybe practice, I dunno, keeping that current going."

"Hey, yeah!" I said, sitting up with a gross sucking noise from the floor. "And if I hit someone, I can dump the current into them. Or if they hit me. AEGIS, you're a genius."

"Well, I try," she said with a hint of a blush. "I think this technique will call for a sparring partner, and I'm the only shockproof one you've got, so hit me up when you've got it figured out."

"Yeah, I will," I said, falling back down and finding the sweat already cold and gross. "Later. Rest now. My legs are like lead."

"That's because you overdid it, and that's because you're stupid," she informed me. "I told you, the book said one section a day."

"Oh stop your scolding and carry me home, will you?" I laughed.

I'd been joking but I also failed to escape before she got her hands on me, and that's how I wound up being paraded through the ghetto on my girlfriend's back for a mile before she let me down, her grin as obnoxious as it was triumphant. I think she only let me go because some random dude was catcalling me.

I walked slowly, stretching out my heavy limbs and realizing that I'd done a lot more kicks with one leg than the other. AEGIS didn't seem annoyed by my slowing her down, on the contrary she just stayed patiently at my pace, smiling pleasantly, fluttering around with the urgency and warmth of a butterfly.

"Karu, maybe," she said, suddenly stopping.

"Karu maybe did what?"

"Did nothing but...of everyone you know, I think she has the most hand-to-hand training." She didn't look very excited by her own thought. "Absolutely out of the question of course, but so is the XPCA like you were talking about."

I thought back to the many times we'd fought and particularly in the context of what I'd trained today...and realized AEGIS might be really right. Karu was never shy about throwing a knee or elbow my way, or in transitioning smoothly from her guns to her wrist-blades to fists as the situation arose. In a lot of ways, that was what I wanted, I guessed, what I saw myself lacking against Dragon. That flexibility that when my powers weren't in the equation anymore, I could still punch him in the face without hesitation.

"Yeah, too bad she went off the deep end," I muttered. My thoughts of Karu still wound up in painful betrayal when I dwelled on them too long. I'd been focusing on Dragon as a way of avoiding focusing on Karu, because at least working on the Dragon issue was productive, but then it seemed I'd fucked that up, too. "I just don't get her. Why she'd do that?"

AEGIS shrugged. "Me neither. She was always crazy and dangerous as far as I saw it, maybe you're just catching up to me."

"Even if I accept that at face value, which I don't, she still changed."

She studied me seriously for a second and then pushed her glasses up her nose. "Did you guys ever talk about her hair?"

"Like, that she shaved it? Only in passing."

"Hmm. Well this is getting sort of into pop psychology, but it's also widespread enough to have some credibility, but people trying to recover from trauma often wind up changing their hairstyle drastically. Or their wardrobe, or other superficial things. For more mundane stuff like breakups, this is often a sign that the victim is trying to make a clean break from their own past or change or improve or other relatively positive things."

"Which isn't Karu's situation."

"No. And that's where the darker interpretations come in. Survivors of abuse or eating disorders or...self harm...sometimes do as a means of coping with shame about their own bodies. Or as part of a mental breakdown with the inability to cope."

"Oh."

"And possibly worst of all, some people feel so disempowered in their own lives that they've lost all sense of meaning and agency. To people in situations like that, the smallest changes might be the only control they feel they have left. Cut your hair, because there's nothing else you can do."

"That...sounds like what she was saying."

"Humans are pretty simple sometimes, Athan," she said, pushing up her glasses at me as she peered into my eyes from my side. "Even if it's nothing sweeping, they need a reason to exist. Feeling meaningless erodes a person's self, and throws all kinds of questions around in your mind that you might otherwise never ask yourself. Like being unemployed or not having any future direction."

I hadn't exactly had a career to speak of, and it wasn't like I was hankering to go back to being a soldier or a manservant again, but I'd definitely had those moments where I looked at my own future and saw all the nothing that was there. Fortunately, I usually had friends...or at least people trying to kill me to distract me from that void...but had Karu?

"And you think Karu just stared down her own pointlessness long enough to decide that nothing has a point?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I can't say. You just seemed angry and confused and I thought...maybe I can offer something. You seem to cope a lot better with people when you can understand their side of it."

"I appreciate the try, but I still don't think I understand. It makes no sense that you could have so much issue killing someone that you conclude the answer is to kill more people."

"It does if you're doing everything you can to justify the first kill."

"I guess."

She smiled and then very overtly changed the subject for the rest of our trek.