It had been a while since I’d woken up and just generally been in pain. I didn’t miss the feeling.
I opened one eye for a fraction and slammed it shut again, wishing to never do that again. My mouth was dry, my muscles ached, and I sort of felt a latent sense of needing-to-puke-but-not-quite just hanging there.
I didn’t want to move, but my back hurt from sleeping outside on rocks like an idiot. I couldn’t move. Was I paralyzed? A brief moment of panic flickered through me irrationally, and the pounding in my brain made sure I wouldn’t try that again.
No more thinking, moving, looking, or panicking, got it. Just lay here forever. New life goals.
I shifted my foot slightly. Not paralyzed, neat. I tried to shift my other foot. No good, super heavy. Why was it so heavy? It moved, but it didn’t want to. I was tempted to look, but not enough to actually do something about it.
Shit, this was too much thinking again, my brain buzzed angrily at me.
Okay, so something was laying on half my body, keeping me from moving. Maybe if I just lay here without moving or thinking for the next few hours, I could figure out what it was.
Whatever it was moved on top of me and moaned a little in its sleep. It was a person. Why was I sleeping outside with a person?
I tried to work my way back through my memories and found a lot of them didn’t exist anymore. Just periods of…nothing. But I remembered Lia was there. And we talked, and ate, and…drank?
Oh. So this is what drinking is like. This is a hangover.
As though by naming it, I gave it strength, it banged at my head and churned my guts more. This was awful. What were you supposed to do for hangovers?
Oh yeah, drink lots of water the night before. Well, that ship sailed. Next plan was the old plan–lay here forever.
I couldn’t though. I had to drink and had to pee, both really bad. Time to face the sun.
As slowly as a human had ever moved, I cracked one eye open until the sun’s needles stabbed right through it into my brain. Somehow, this made me want to vomit even more, which just made no sense to me at all, but if my body would just hold together for a few more minutes, I would accommodate all of its vomiting and peeing needs. I just needed to…move…from…under…
What was I under? A big black thing. Shading my one eye, I tried to glimpse enough of it to get a picture. It was a person. It was the top of Lia’s head. It was laying half on top of me, head crooked in my armpit and wrapped around my side. It was wearing her big hooded travel cloak. It was not wearing much else, my sister’s naked boobs were smushed against my chest.
I jumped up and dumped her off me, yelling for some reason. The noise was horrible, even to my ears, and Lia just crumpled like she was boneless into a fetal position under her cloak.
“Nnnnnnoooooooo talking…” her voice muttered from under the cloak.
I had to sit down and hold my head to keep it from exploding. “Lia, why are you naked?”
“Nnnnnnnnnooooo,” she moaned pitifully. It was like talking to a black, pitiful boulder.
“I need to go pee,” I said, standing up urgently, and then regretting it instantly. I held my temples and closed my eyes and gingerly walked to the shade of the trees.
When I came back, she was exactly where I’d left her.
“Lia, wake up,” I whispered at her. “We need to drink some water.”
“Nnnnoooooo. Shush.”
“Come on, you won’t feel better if you don’t get up.”
“Gimmie minute.”
“Kay. I’m getting some water for us.”
I went into the elevator and went down, leaning on the wall for the ride. The doors opened, and AEGIS greeted me with unnatural chipperness.
“HEYA ATHAN, HOW’S IT GOING?” she belted.
“Shush. I hate you.”
“HAVE A GOOD TIME DRINKING LAST NIGHT?”
I picked up a bag of water from beside my bed. “AEGIS, are you thirsty?”
“You still drunk? I’m an AI.”
“Then stop talking or I’m gonna have to pour this on you.”
“Jokes on you, Athan, that black box is totally waterproof.”
“Blah.” It was about the best comeback I had for the situation. AEGIS just grinned diabolically.
I pounded half the bag, the cold feeling settling unnaturally inside me like it might come right back up, but somehow I managed to keep it down, and brought the rest back to Lia, who had, again, not moved at all.
“Water,” I said. An arm came out of the black mess and took it, and then held it for several seconds unsure of how to proceed. Finally, thirst must have won out over the other competing emotions, and the cloak unfurled itself into a human-ish shape. I saw two long naked legs pop out, saw a flash of a breast through the front opening of the cloak, and then decided to face the trees.
“Lia, put on clothes. Why are you naked?”
“Ionno,” she mumbled. “Ask drunk Lia.”
“This is so fucked up. You’re my sister. What the hell were you thinking?”
“Bro. I was drunk. Also, shut up please.”
“Drunk doesn’t begin to explain it!” I wanted to turn and yell at her but absolutely did not want to see any more of my sister today. Or, ever.
“You ever tried to sleep in skin-tight riding armor.”
“No, I’ve never even worn riding armor.”
“Well it sucks, so I guess drunk Lia took it off. Just chill, bro.” I heard lots of rustling as she dressed behind me. “There, all decent. Now, shut up?”
I turned around and she was dressed, just as she said, skintight riding armor. She wasn’t wearing her cloak properly, just had it bunched up around her face along with the hood to protect her eyes, I guessed. From what I could see of the lower half of her face, she was blushing enormously, but just keeping cool and rational, like she always did.
It made me a little happy that she was also embarrassed, but a little sad that I was here freaking out about it while she kept cool and treated it like the awkward but harmless situation it was. I felt a little ashamed for making a bigger deal of it than I needed to…I was supposed to be the big brother.
“We need water and carbs,” she said, her voice a dread monotone.
“Uh. Carbs. That might be…hard to come by. Mostly just meat and plants out here. I’m not much of a farmer.”
She dug in her bag and offered me half a roll of packaged crackers. “Carbs and salt. Eat.”
I took half and sat down, eating solemnly, while she did the same under her hood. Her eyes were bloodshot and her skin looked splotchy red and pale. I’m sure I looked no better.
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We spent the rest of the morning in silence, to Lia’s satisfaction. I think she had it way worse than I did, because while I was starting to feel merely crappy, she was still mostly interested in being a silent, defeatist little boulder.
Eventually it was almost noon and I’d done nothing with my day. Gently, I told Lia I’d go fishing for anything to go with the bear we’d be eating for the next few days, and how to follow me if she wanted. To my surprise, she stood up and volunteered to come with.
“How you doing?” I asked as we walked.
“Been worse. Been a heck of a lot better.”
“You uh, drink like that often?”
“Haven’t been drinking long enough to do it often. Only just started a few months ago.”
“Can I ask a question?”
“I’m not gonna like it, but can’t exactly stop you.”
“Why did you start drinking?”
“Told you last night. Roommates did it, I joined them a few times.”
“Yeah but they’re not here. I mean, why did you personally start doing it.”
“You drank last night. Did you have fun?”
“Yeah. I think. I hope? I don’t remember a lot of it. We laughed and cried a lot.”
“So, that’s the thing about drinking. I mean, obviously you shouldn’t be getting blackout drunk all the time. But laughing and crying, is that something you do a lot in your daily life?”
“Uh, sometimes. Not really. Mostly it’s actually pretty boring drudgery keeping-alive kind of stuff, peppered with extremely uncomfortable moments of action.”
“Yeah. But you’ve still got those laughing and crying feelings in you somewhere.”
“I…guess?”
“So I drink to let them out.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” she sighed. “You should just come drinking with me a few more times and you’ll figure it out.”
“I…don’t think so. Once was enough for me.”
“That wasn’t a very good example.”
“Even so, I’m good, thanks.”
She shrugged. “Whatever, bro. My point is just that it lets me be a different part of me.”
“That sounds like you’re letting some inner monster out.”
“It’s not. It’s…” she sighed. “It’s hard to explain. It lets another side of me–which is always there–I don’t know. Breathe? I spend all day planning and worrying and struggling with making sure I’m always moving and surviving…even if I don’t need to be. After a few drinks, I’m able to let all that go and just…exist. Does that make any sense?”
“No. Why don’t you just not worry as much?”
“See, I know you’re not doing this on purpose because I was just you a few months ago, but jeez is this impossible to explain.”
“Then let’s talk about something else.”
“Agreed. I think we’re all caught up on everything that’s happened, so let me ask, how are you, dude?”
I turned and looked at her following me. Narrow legs, clad in black except where the wound showed a flash of white and a trail of red, stalking behind me with careful steps, her cloak swishing back and forth with her steps.
“I don’t know how I am. I’ve been so focused on just surviving most of the time and dealing with the random shit that comes up that I haven’t really ever stopped and thought about how I was.” She frowned at my answer. “Sorry, I’ve gotten bad at small talk. I’m supposed to say ‘good’?”
“No, you’re supposed to answer like you did. I’m just not happy that you’re not taking care of yourself. You’ve got all these dead bears and fishes and protein tubes and you still look like you’ve lost a hundred pounds.”
“You should have seen me a few weeks ago, I’ve put on a lot of weight.”
“That does not make me feel better to hear.”
“I was injured.”
“Just making it worse, dude.”
“Lia, look.” I stopped and turned to her. “I appreciate your concern, but I’ve been living out here for, what?”
“Going on seven months.”
“Shit, has it been that long? But see, I’ve got a life out here. I’ve survived this far, I don’t need you to come in and help me fix everything, I’m surviving.”
“I…I know.” She shifted uneasily. “I’m sorry. I just…had this thought that you needed me–“
“I do need you, Lia. Not to live, but to be happy. You’re the one asking me how I’m doing, and that means a lot. Heck, just knowing you’re doing okay yourself and don’t hate me is so much off my mind. But when it comes to living out here, surviving, that’s all I’ve been doing for seven months now. I’m a freaking expert at some of this shit.”
“Yeah, I saw you skin and butcher a whole bear last night. Wasn’t expecting that.”
“Fish, deer, raccoon, rabbit, goose, boar, beaver and squirrel. And bear. Skinned and eaten. Smoked, grilled, slow-cooked, dried, spit-roasted, and herb-baked. Fourteen types of edible greens, two types of tubers, seasonal mushrooms, underground mushrooms, but only once. Wild berries in the summer. Preserves from the ruins, and the nutrient paste from Karu only showed up on the diet last month.”
I wasn’t even showing off. I knew there was more, but these were just off the top of my head. The things I’d done and killed and found and eaten just to keep myself alive. This stuff was integral to my being now. I lived and died it.
“Quite a list,” Lia whispered.
“Sorry…I think…I’m just touchy about it. I used to have a lot more to live for, and this is all I’ve got now. So for you to show up and try to save me from it…”
“I understand. I’m sorry, I think I’m touchy too, about feeling like it’s my job to save you. I know it isn’t. I know you don’t need saving.”
We stood and stared at our own feet for a few moments.
“Awkward sibling hug?” she volunteered.
“Awkward sibling hug.” We each moved in one-armed and kept our torsos as far apart as possible for the maximum awkward effect as we patted each other on the shoulders in a syncopated beat. It was also important to hold the hug for way longer than either of us were comfortable with, that was the only way to have a true awkward sibling hug.
Eventually, I broke it off, willing to let her have this one. She smiled at me and we kept heading toward the river.
“We’ll need to swing by and pick up my crawler at some point,” she said. “I hope it’s not busted.”
“That’d be nice to have around. I mean, maybe. I don’t travel from here much.” A thought hit me. “You’re going back, aren’t you?”
“Wasn’t planning on it.”
“What? Why?”
“Haven’t you been listening? Everything sucks out there.”
“Can’t suck more than here. Lia, I’m only here because I have to be. You’ve got…school, and college, and your whole life ahead of you, whether you do it at home or wherever else. And your vast underground criminal empire to run.”
“Meh. When I came out here, Black Shark faked his death. Easiest way to make sure none of the undesirables I worked with came after me.”
“I guess that’s smart. But you still should go have your own life. No point in both of us sacrificing our lives just because I’m Exhuman.”
“Still meh. I’ll do what I want.”
“Well, that’s for damn sure. I just want you to want to have a life outside of this wreck.”
“Oh, you’re not that bad.”
“I was talking about the ruins?”
“I know.”
“Jerk.”
“You love me anyway. So anyway, I wanted to ask about your powers. How does that all work–?”
I shushed her and stopped, my arm out to hold her back.
“What?”
“Listen.”
“Are there planes flying overhead out here?”
“No, that’s my friend Karu coming in. She’s probably looking for a fight, too.”
“What?”
“I’ll explain later. Just…try to be polite if she gets weird.”
“Do you have any normal friends?”
“No,” I said, and took a good look at her standing there behind me, wrapped in a black cloak and still unsteady on her bear-maimed leg. “And that includes you.”
Karu had broken the treeline and headed straight towards us on ribbons of blue plasma. Gracefully, she circled us once and then hovered instead of landing, a good twenty feet above and in front of us.
“Who is that which walks beside Ashton? Identify yourself,” she called.
“I am…Ashton, too.”
“You think this a game?” Karu primed her wrist-mounted weaponry with an ominous hum and levelled it at Lia. I stepped in between the two.
“Karu–“
“I did not ask for you to intercede, Ashton. I directed my question toward the other. Now speak, you who wears black.”
“I…I am Lia,” she said, cowering behind my back. “I’m Ashton…I mean, Athan’s sister.”
“Ashton, is this person’s story true?”
“Yes, Karu. Put down your guns.”
“I remain skeptical. Ashton…girl, if you are who you say you are, tell me something personal about your sibling that only you would be able to know.”
“Umm. F-for his second birthday he wanted a hoverboard but got a tricycle.”
“This was not a great plan, Karu,” I said.
“I am realizing this. Still, without being able to verify the threat, I am unsure of how to proceed.”
“For God’s sake Karu, she’s my sister, not a threat. Get down here and meet her properly.”
I was worried Karu would just hang up there all day, shouting indignant threats, but she gradually lowered herself to the ground and touched down.
“She landed! Get her!” I shouted and barreled forward, scooping a handful of snow on the way. Lia shrieked and ran for cover. Karu waited patiently while the snowball plastered her right in the face, arms crossed like a statue.
“You would be so lucky that I can determine your humor,” Karu said, wiping snow from her visor.
“I just wanted to make sure you knew it was me, too.”
“Fortunately for me, you are utterly unmistakable. Come here girl, and prove to me that you are not so foolish as your brother at least.”
Lia yelled and came charging out from behind a tree, also pelting Karu in the face with a snowball.
“I see the family resemblance already. Please do inform me that there are no more of you coming.”
“No, just the two of us,” I said, beaming and holding Lia around the shoulder.
“I thank the heavens for that, though I already find myself wishing He had stopped at just one.”
“Hi. Lia. Nice to meet you,” Lia said, wiping the snow off her hand before extending it for a handshake. Karu looked for a moment like she wasn’t going to reciprocate, but then shook the hand warmly.
“I am Karu. Master hunter, and an associate and rival of your brother’s. I meet you in good faith.”
“So Karu, what brings you visiting today?”
“I had originally come to fight, but seeing as how you have company visiting, that would be exceedingly rude.”
“Thank goodness. Maybe you should stay with me if it means keeping Karu out of my hair.”
“This is a temporary ceasefire and nothing more, issued at my discretion. Do not think you can worm your way out of obligation simply by keeping the girl at your side.”
“Anyway, Lia, this is Karu. Pretty much her in a nutshell, what you’ve seen.”
“I see. What a very interesting person.”
“Karu, we were just going to go fishing. Care to join?”
“As though I have the time to sit idle waiting for some…fish to express the stupidity and curiosity to bite.”
“Sure. What else would you prefer to do.”
She opened her mouth and closed it, and then bit her lip as she thought.
“On second consideration, fishing will be sufficient.”