When I heard Cosette tell me that there was some big fancy Exhuman meeting with a united force of twenty Exhumans that was threatening to boil over into a massive Exhuman event, this was not what I was expecting.

I thought of powerful men and women in suits in shiny rooms with big circular tables. People banging their fists on tables and saying cool dramatic shit like 'That's just not good enough, dammit!' Hours of painful proceedings as the suit jackets came off and the five o'clock shadows grew in long.

I joined the others, finding Tem occupying my shadow and exchanging brief greetings with Jack and Tower and Moon, we were standing amidst a crowd of the XPCA's most elite and dangerous, hunters and shadow ops, recon units, intel officers, admins and generals, all standing around and milling about, paper and digital files being passed from hand to hand as important world-changing doctrine was discussed in a sea of murmurs.

Probably never in the world had there been such an assembly of power outside of a nuclear warhead. And right next door, the twenty Exhumans were probably comparable. Enough force in these two rooms to overthrow entire nations, maybe even the entire world.

And it was all ruined by the completely normal surroundings we found ourselves gathered in.

It wasn't a ritzy hotel conference center, it wasn't a government institution, it wasn't an auditorium or town hall. Not even a school or library.

It was a pizza joint. It smelled like cheese.

More specifically, they were in a pizza joint. We were in a large common room for an apartment complex across the street from the pizza joint, and so all these assassins and hunters and military aides I found myself amidst were hanging over a pool table, or hovering near an entertainment unit, or loitering under a dartboard, or in Tower's case, pedaling away on an exercise bike like the thing had insulted his mother.

Truly, the man had no shame. And that was one thing I loved about him.

Still smelled like cheese all the way over here, though. Must have been hell to live in these apartments without gaining weight.

From what I gathered as gossip flowed through the crowd, and what Jack had heard, the Exhumans in question had unified, named themselves the 'Defiant Unchained', refused to comply with the shadow ops sent to bring them in, soundly trashed said shadow ops and used their devices to call the XPCA and tell them that there would be a meeting here and now.

And so they sat, in a pizza joint, visible through the glass storefront as we hunkered down across the street, recon teams watching every slice and soda they bought and ate.

There were still civilians coming and going, and come to think of it, I hadn't had to go through a perimeter to get here. Maybe that was part of their terms of negotiation, or they knew one of the Exhumans in there could detect or prevent a normal evacuation. Either way, I'm sure the addition of potential casualties on the scene did nothing to make the op any easier.

I'd spent a good few minutes poking around and figuring this out, and then a few more slowly realizing that no matter the tension, waiting was pretty boring in fact, and beginning to take an interest in racing Tower on the exercise bikes, when I saw someone in the corner and decided to go say hi.

"Heya, Deej, right?" I said as I approached the massive exosuit from behind. He turned and greeted me, but as he did, I saw that in front of him, hidden in the corner was Karu. I hadn't seen her since...weeks ago, before TARGA and AEGIS died. My nascent conversation with Deej died as Karu stiffened on seeing me.

"Oh...hi, Karu."

"Ashton," she said, holding herself weirdly. The three of us stood there for a minute, Karu and I just looking at each other's faces while Deej's eyes flashed back and forth.

"Farewell," she said abruptly and started to leave, only to run into Deej's colorful exosuit.

"Karu, talk to him," Deej implored. Karu's red gaze burned into him and reflected off the crystal dome of his helmet into a refracted starburst that painted lines on his face. "Or I can, if you'd like."

"I can do it myself," she sniped.

"You sure can," he said with a smile, and then, giving me a small nod, turned to disappear into the crowd like a clanking peacock in a chicken coop.

"Um, hey, Karu. Hope you're--"

She held up a hand to stop me, her other hand on her throat.

"It is awkward and painful enough to attempt to squeeze out the words without your input," she said, seemingly watching Deej go, though with her visor, her eyes could be anywhere. "Might I request that for a few moments, you kindly shut up?"

"Okay. Shutting up then."

"Thank you."

Then she pulled a Moon and said absolutely nothing. As the moments grew longer and longer, she became more and more visibly upset about whatever it was she wasn't saying, and by the end of it, was checking her wrist-mounted weaponry while rocking on the balls of her feet. If she had twintails like AEGIS, I would bet she'd be pulling at them.

She froze so abruptly I thought something had happened.

"As I am certain you are aware," she began cordially "I am quite fond of you."

"Ye--"

"Be silent, please."

I nodded and she continued.

"I have...been...experiencing some difficulties of late, in all aspects of my life. In short, I hold myself to blame, but hold you responsible, if that makes any sense." She leaned back against the wall and held her head, fingertips from one of her hands sinking into the shock of blonde. "Urgh. Why can I not find the words. This has never happened to me before."

"Karu, I--"

"Silent, please," she pleaded. "So many times I have said these words to myself, imagining them to you, but now that you stand before me...it is impossible. I feel...I feel...as though if I tell you what I feel, it means nothing, and that there will be nothing of me left. But if I do not, it will simply drive me insane."

This really wasn't what I was expecting when I came over here to say hi to Deej. She was straight-up freaking out on me, and I had no idea what the hell was going on. And, I couldn't leave. And I couldn't talk.

"And if I simply tell you everything, what could you think of me? Could you think of me even less than myself? It would be impossible, and yet, I'm afraid--"

I grabbed her firmly by both shoulders and the action startled her into jumping slightly. She stared at me through her visor, her mouth slightly agape. I noticed she had a stim patch on her neck she'd been covering with her hand earlier.

"Karu, listen to me," I said, and she shook her head like these were the last words she ever wanted to hear. "Just talk to me, okay? I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."

"Yes. Of course, you are right," she said, drawing herself together. "But...I do not wish to tell you," she frowned.

"Because I'll judge you?"

"I...suppose. Though...I know you are not the sort. Yet I still find myself laughably afraid."

"Well tell me, because being a little judged has got to be better than this. Is this about Blackett?"

I realized this was exactly not the time or place to discuss our crime, especially with recon ops walking in and out in their crazy sensor gear.

"No...and yes." She seemed to have reached a similar conclusion to me, because she suddenly pulled off her visor and wiped away tears beading underneath. "I apologize, this is neither the time nor the place for this discussion. I fear I am...unfit to serve on this mission. I shall withdraw for now."

Again she began to leave and I grabbed her by the wrist to stop her. She inhaled sharply as I did and flushed, her eyes darting around with burning guilt like we'd just been caught in some scandalous act by all those present.

But all those present kept to themselves and milling around, seemingly unaware of the woman melting from embarrassment in their midst.

I caught my words before I blurted out something like what the fuck is wrong with you, since that might uh, not be very productive given her current state of mind, and instead settled for what I was going to say.

"We'll talk after, okay? Promise?"

She nodded and didn't move. I let her go and she drifted away like foam.

Saga, I could understand. She was dealing with a month of being locked up by the XPCA under the earth and tortured, all of which probably hurt twice as much for the old memories they dug up.

AEGIS, I could understand. She wasn't the same person at all, and I'd just thrust a whole year of shit in her face, much of it painful and shocking and probably doubly so since she was having to come to terms with the fact that she did those things, even if she couldn't comprehend how or why in her current state.

But Karu? Fuck me sideways, I had no idea what was going on there. I saw pain, and hurt, and uncertainty, and fear. I saw stim usage and reclusion, the normally strong being weak, the normally eloquent rendered speechless...and then she pulled herself off what was possibly the biggest op of our lives, abandoning this situation and these people because of her own personal shit? Just walked out of a room full of officers and hunters and us, rubbing her eyes like a child.

All I knew was she'd seemed fine before I'd picked AEGIS, and even afterwards she was kind of shaky but could pull herself together. This, though, was just...I didn't even know where to start with what I'd just seen.

I had no idea. I found myself standing back with the P-Force, Tower now exhausted and sweaty on his back on the floor and just...tried to think. Tried to force my round, wrinkled brain through the square hole of whatever the fuck I'd just seen. And all I got was a smashed brain for my trouble.

"Have any of you guys seen Karu since New Eden?" I asked.

Jack and Tower confirmed they had not.

"I was assigned to go on a mission with her!" Tem said from my shadow, materializing from the air to speak to me.

"Yeah? How'd it go?" I asked, turning on her excited to have another perspective, even if it was Tem's.

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"I didn't go! I was upset that I was not with you."

"She laid in the barracks even through Cosette screaming at her about being plunked in front of a firing squad," Tower said from his back.

I facepalmed hard, and then perked up and looked for Deej. He'd heard something, if I could just get it out of him.

But a quick glance around told me he wasn't here anymore. There would be no mistaking his exosuit in this crowd. Had he gone after Karu? Should I have gone after Karu?

"Moon was with her on one mission, though," Tem said.

"Moon?" I turned to her. "Or...Kaori, since we're not on an op yet I guess?"

"Moon. We are currently engaged to wait," she said from her spot on the floor, not looking up from her book.

"Tell me how Karu is, please."

"Based on her talk with you, I would predict she is upset."

"I meant...in general. Did you notice anything when you were out together? Did you partner with her?"

"I was bonded with a shadow ops which was wholly ineffective. Major Dawn knew this from the outset. It seems she has far less say over us now that we have been turned in for general use. I was reprimanded by an officer for proving 'insubordinate and obstructive.'"

"Am I the only one who thinks that actually sounds accurate?" Tower asked. Moon took her eyes off her book for a moment to fix him with a blank stare, one positively loaded with Moon-nuance I couldn't begin to fathom, I'm sure.

"I did not take it as an insult," she said and resumed her book.

"Anyway, Karu!" I said, irritated at the tangent. "How was Karu on the mission?"

Moon snapped the book shut with what passed for annoyance and fixed her dark almond eyes on me. "Do you remember how you often ask how I am doing?"

"Yes?"

"Do you remember how I typically reply?"

"You usually say something inane and difficult."

"I interpret that as a no, then."

"You say 'I am fit for service', is that what you mean?"

"Yes," she answered, and then I found us just staring at each other for a moment there while I waited fruitlessly for her to follow up on her thoughts.

"And?"

"And what?"

"And what was your point?"

"My point was, if you asked her that question, and she answered honestly, she would not answer the same way I did."

I found myself holding the bridge of my nose in frustration. "Why the heck is it when I ask you a simple question, you have to be as difficult as humanly possible? I ask how you're doing, you say you're fit for service, when you know that's not what I mean. I ask how Karu's doing, and you give me this run-around, and your final answer is, she's not fit for service. Do you have some insane code of honor that prohibits you from answering a question straight, or what?"

"You interrupted my book," she said simply, and opened it again.

God damn this woman. I wanted to tear her stupid fucking book out of her arms and throw it out the door. Maybe run across the street and dunk it in a deep fryer and offer it to the Defiant Unchained as a peace offering.

I suddenly had the idea of just grabbing Moon and taking her stupid memories by force if I wanted to. Not a damn thing she could have done to stop me.

But no. I took a deep breath. That was really fucked up for me to even think about, and Moon would never forgive me, or Tower or Jack probably. Or myself. I pushed my way through the crowd and sought some fresh air and quiet, as the din of voices suddenly seemed oppressive in there.

I leaned against the wall and slowly slid down the white stucco onto the sidewalk in front of our makeshift headquarters, the durable fabric of my uniform blunting any scrapes from the rough surface. A thought assailed me that I found myself thinking a lot since New Eden.

What am I even doing?

I looked across the street and watched the people inside the pizza place through the many glass windows. How many of them were Exhuman? They had to know we were here, but from all outward appearances, it was just a busy afternoon at the corner pizza place, people laughing and talking, picking up slices from the tall glass counter and sitting at the arrays of squat, wooden tables.

I saw a group emerge from a back room which I found curious. A bunch of girls all coming back from the bathroom maybe? Only four or five of them...but not all girls. But one of them I remembered from somewhere.

It was Rito, I remembered. The girl who'd worked for Soran and moved things around for the resistance. I guess she was with the Defiant now too, and would explain why a group would suddenly pop out of the back room. She hadn't impressed me when we met before, but I had a crazy urge to go over and say hi anyway, maybe just because I couldn't stand being here with my thoughts, and didn't want to go back and battle through the tension just to drag a conversation out of Jack or something. Maybe because it looked like everyone over there was having fun, and over here was just misery.

I'd just about made up my mind rightly, that it was a terrible idea to even consider in the middle of an op, when I saw another girl I recognized in there and stood up at once, finding a focus for my current irritation in the most mundane of ways.

Sitting awkwardly between a couple of guys and passively pretending to be part of their conversation was...uh...what was her name, again? I knew I'd come up with it when I got there. Trish and Gil's girl, the skinny sulky teenager, just smack dab in the middle of a resistance movement.

I knew her mom and dad wouldn't let her do this, which meant she was in big fucking trouble, and seeing as how I sort of owed the two of them for various things in New Eden, I sure as shit wasn't going to let their girl sit here in the middle of a developing potential warzone.

I had the thought as I pulled open the door that maybe I shouldn't be wearing an XPCA uniform for this, but after all the rest of the thoughts I'd had today, this one was pretty easy to dismiss with a well, fuck it. And so in I went.

My entrance definitely got attention but I hardly cared. I walked through several people who tried to greet me, pushing past extended handshakes and went right to the table where she was seated. She looked so out of place and uncomfortable, her mobile in front of her but her eyes everywhere but.

"Does your mother know you're out here?" I asked her. She looked up and squinted at me uneasily, maybe also being put-off by the crowd of Defiant who had trailed in my wake into a confused jumble behind me.

"Uh. I don't need my mom's permission to go anywhere. I'm an adult?"

"What was Gil's line? Do you work? Do you pay rent? No. Get outta here, kid."

"Pssh, whatever," she said, and went back to her phone, her face bright red even if she wasn't willing to show it. I pulled the phone out of her hands. "Hey!" she yelled, reaching for it.

I pulled up her contacts and dialed her mom.

"Hi sweetie, what's up?" Trish's voice came over as the girl clawed at me to get the mobile. "Everything okay at Monica's?"

"Hi Trish, it's Athan. Or...Lightning. Friendly neighborhood Exhuman-slash-XPCA."

"Athan? What are you doing with Haley's phone? Are you at Monica's house too? Wait, oh my God, do you go to school with them?"

Haley, that's right.

"No, not that simple, sorry, ow!" I said as Haley got some nails into my neck. "So I take it you don't know your daughter is at this Exhuman thing in Santa Fe?"

"She WHAT?"

"He's lying, Trish!"

"Was that her? You tell her I said no to that thing! I explicitly--"

"Trish, I'm at Monica's and this crazy guy just ran up--"

"--will be grounded for life! When she's thirty and married, she still won't be able to turn on the holo--"

"--no idea why, he just...he stole my purse! And then he took my mobile so I can't call the police--"

I held the phone away from my ear and pushed Haley back down into her seat. "Just stop lying," I told her, disgusted. "As for you, Trish, you need to listen to me for a moment, there's a lot more important things than disciplining your kid. There's a bigass Exhuman thing going on here with the XPCA camped right across the street. If things go south, your daughter will be in the ground, not grounded."

"Right. You're right," Trish said breathily. The whole place was looking at me now. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"So I'm going to need you to firmly tell your daughter to leave here, sort out whatever punishment you need later, because I don't want her to die, okay?"

"I'm not going to die," Haley pouted.

"I knew a thirteen-year-old Exhuman who fucking died in an event and her powers were a thousand times better than yours. So you shut up and go home, you got it?" I snapped at her.

I felt like all the confusion and anger which had been building inside of me was breaking loose and finding a home in just having some fucking control over the situation. Tearing Haley down was cathartic because honestly, she was kind of a bitch, and kind of a kid, and she shouldn't be here, and I had the capacity to make that so. It was simple, and I was doing it, and that was great.

She didn't look like she had much to say after my last statement so I held out the mobile. "Listen to your mother. And if you do not get out of here, I will kick your ass out. So you can either walk out of here with some dignity, or screaming and crying."

She looked like she was about to cry, but instead snatched up the phone and went running straight out the door and down the street.

To my surprise, the restaurant erupted in cheers, and I found myself swarmed by people who wanted to pat me on the back, shake my hand, and sing my praises. Either Haley was really unpopular in the Defiant, or these guys were also not keen on having a fifteen-year-old girl in the middle of a potential battlefield. An Exhuman, too. Not that I saw much difference between an Exhuman and human life, but maybe that counted to these guys.

After things had calmed down a bit, a man approached me who hadn't joined the mob and shook my hand with more decorum.

"Hello," he said, in a carefree voice that didn't match the strong lines of his face or aggressively straight haircut. "Call me Talon, I'm the leader of this bunch of whackjobs, if it can be said we have one."

"Did you pick the pizza place?" I asked.

"Sure did. What, you don't like deep dish?" He was maybe thirty, with black eyebrows and a strong chin. He looked kind of how I wish I looked if I ever got to be that age. Just a hint of grey at the temples, intelligent brown eyes that didn't flicker when he looked at something.

"More of a California style myself."

He laughed easily and gestured for me to sit, waiting for me to do so before he sat next to me instead of opposite.

"Well, we've been waiting for a couple of hours now, and there's only so much pizza a man can eat before he begins to wonder why the XPCA haven't shown up. I'm glad you finally came, though I admit, I expected someone older."

"You expected me?"

He laughed again. "Isn't that why we're here? We're here to negotiate, you came over here and negotiated the hell out of poor Haley. I didn't want her here either, but I did make it clear that most any Exhuman is welcome among us. I just didn't have the stones to call her mom on her." He laughed with vigor and showed off broad, white teeth as he did, making me wonder the last time I had time to brush mine. Here he was, an Exhuman with immaculate composure, whereas I was allegedly a military officer, and I'd been run ragged the last few days and looked like heck.

He settled down and waggled a finger at me in warning. "That trick won't work on me, though. My parents cut ties when I turned Exhuman. I'll even let you look through my contacts if you'd like, but almost all of them are in this room."

"Wait, you think I'm the XPCA negotiator?" I asked, catching up to the words he was saying while I was fixated on teeth. He laughed again and then thanked one of the staff who came over with a couple of glasses of water and menus.

"Garlic knots, please," he said. "For both of us?" he asked me. I was still shaking my head at the misunderstanding but quickly changed it to a nod before I lost my garlic knots. "Of course I don't think you're the negotiator," he said, pulling the end of the wrapper off his straw and taking a drink. "The XPCA would never send someone over who's that good at getting anything done. Though two hours late seems about right to me."

"Well...I'm not. I'm glad you understand. I just came in here because I know Haley's mom. Now, if you'll excuse me, can I get my knots to go? I'm probably in huge trouble with my CO--"

I moved to stand but Talon just shook his head and grinned at me.

"No?" I asked.

"Sorry, I think we used all the to-go boxes. You'll have to stay put."

"Am I...a hostage or something?"

He laughed, even louder this time, and so did many around us.

"No, not at all," he said after he calmed down, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "I've just decided I'd prefer to talk to you more than whatever jerkass they eventually do decide to send over. So how about it?"

"Uhh," I said, and remembered to turn on my comms at that exact moment. My ear immediately filled with about a hundred people yelling at me, which was about what I expected. "Hey, um, Cosette?"

"What!" I heard her yell over a dozen other jumbling voices.

"Um, so it turns out I'm kind of been appointed a negotiator for this whole incident."

"You WHAT?"

"Yeah. Crazy. Is that cool?"

She spent a long minute yelling over the other voices as a full three-ring circus unfolded in my ear. Talon smiled apologetically and waited patiently, though didn't hesitate to dig in when garlic knots arrived on two black plastic trays.

"Okay, just...find out what they want, Chariot. And stop making my job hard!" she yelled into the comms when it became apparent that people were just arguing in circles over there.

"Thanks," I said, and muted the audio of the comms but left it broadcasting. "Well," I said, taking a deep breath."I guess I'm officially a completely unofficial non-delegate of the XPCA," I said. "Shall we negotiate?"