AEGIS and I watched Moon as she ordered, waited nearly motionless for her food, and then after picking it up, scanned the room and finally noticed us.

She hesitated for just a moment and then approached.

"Have you been staring at me this entire time?" she asked.

"Pretty much," AEGIS replied.

"That makes me feel very uncomfortable."

"Life's rough."

She stood awkwardly holding her food and I wondered if she'd frozen up to think, when I realized she was slightly teetering forward and backwards on her feet. Was she hoping to join us? Her?

"Do you want to sit down?" I asked.

"I would prefer to eat sitting down, yes."

I sighed. "Do you want to sit down here with us?"

"I suppose, if you are going to insist."

"We weren't insisting," AEGIS added, but Moon sat down anyway, to AEGIS' obvious annoyance.

Moon had changed since showering, wearing pants and boots that again were color-coordinated and much more appropriate for the weather, and I had to wonder if she had an entire closet full of charcoal and pink, or if she just spent a lot more time and effort dressing than I'd given her credit for. Maybe, more likely, her sweatpants came with the sweatshirt, and black puffy snow boots just matched with everything.

"I thought we were talking," AEGIS mumbled at me.

"We were. But Tem's here anyway."

"You're such an asshole, Athan."

"We can still talk. Look...I'm just not sure what's going on with me and you and Karu. Or me and dating in general. I only sorta wound up with Karu by accident, it's not really something I've given a lot of thought. I'm more like, worried about my job and people dying and stuff."

She frowned, putting the back of her hand between her and Moon like that could keep the conversation private. "That's exactly why I think we should. Nobody looks after you, not even you. I think you need a dependable woman to take care of you."

"Well that just sounds all kinds of backwards steps for feminism."

"Even if you take me being a girl out of the picture. You're a great guy, Athan, you've saved me from darkness, you've saved me from myself, you've saved my life. I don't think I could ever begin to repay you for everything you've done, but I want to."

"So now we'd be dating just because you feel like you owe me? I think that's even worse."

"No, I'm just…of course I want it for all the normal reasons too! I'm a girl too, and..." she made a low growl. "Can you two stop eavesdropping already?"

"There is nothing else of interest to listen to," Moon replied between small bites.

"I am following Chariot," Tem said in her simple, determined, demented way.

"Oh. My. God. This is fucking impossible. I'm here, trying to pour my heart out to you, and you can't even ditch the harem for five seconds to hear me out. I hate you so much, Athan."

She got up and moved quickly to the door. I ordered Tem to stay, for all the good it was likely to do and followed after her into the snowy morning.

"Look," I said, catching her wrist as she tried to squirm off. "I know this sucks for you, but that doesn't mean I know what I'm doing either, okay? You can't just demand that I suddenly have a better idea what's going on and be all decisive."

She froze, wrist locked in my hand, mid-step, facing away from me. "Just forget it, Athan. Let's just go back to being friends, like you said."

"Come on, don't just walk off. It's been like ten minutes, chill a little."

"It's been ten minutes of you blowing me off, Athan. I can take a damn hint."

"You can take a hint, but you can't listen to the words I'm saying?"

"Just let me go, Athan. I'm sorry I tried pushing this on you."

She pulled easily out of my grasp, leaving my hand cold where I had just held her.

"Wait, seriously," I said.

She went another few steps before sighing and turning around. "What?"

"I don't want you to be upset."

"I know. Look, this was a poorly-laid plan. Not sure what I was thinking, that I'd just show up and expect an answer out of you. Just, uh, just let me off the hook for today, okay? Pretend this never happened."

"And you'll try again later?"

"Yeah. With a better plan."

"AEGIS, that's ridiculous."

She smiled. "Maybe. But what else can I do, right? I fell in love with a huge weenie who's too busy saving the world to figure out what he wants from it. The least I can do is plan a little strategy before I have at it again."

"AEGIS, I'm not...I'm not some war to win or an enemy force to defeat. I'm just your friend, like I always have been."

"Sure." She smiled cheekily. "Sure you are. Hey, enjoy that lunch, okay? I'll see you around."

"Sure will," I said, but she was already leaving. I felt something distinctly resembling guilt fall into my stomach and went back inside.

Had I done something wrong? I mean, I know AEGIS was really hurting there, but I'd learned from throwing myself at Saga too readily, and now I was worried I'd lost her for good. Just because she wanted me didn't mean it was a good idea for me to give that to her. I'd submitted to Saga on impulse, and that just...turned out horrible. Even if every nurturing, protecting bone in my body wanted to tell AEGIS yes, I couldn't do that.

To say nothing of the less nurturing bones, which also wanted her.

I sat down heavily next to Moon, Tem loitering around transparently pretending (in more ways than one) that she wasn't just outside following us, and felt like I had to get a second opinion. Unfortunately, neither of these two seemed remotely human in nature, much less woman, but they were the closest I had.

"Moon, do you think I should date AEGIS?"

"Please do not refer to me as such unless I am working."

"Oh. Sorry. What should I call you then?"

"Kaori will suffice. Or Ikeda-san, if you are in favor of formalities."

"Okay, well, Kaori, same question."

"Kaori will suffice. Or--"

"The question before that question?"

She went quiet, maybe to think, or maybe just to take another couple of small bites out of her bagel. She ate like taking tiny bites would save effort on chewing or something, definitely a peculiar trait, but I mean, which of her traits weren't at this point?

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"I have no opinion on your personal life," she concluded, finally. "My relationship with you extends only so far as us working together compatibly."

"Still, despite being a huge pain in the ass and having the worst sense of humor, you're smart and you seem to pay pretty good attention. Do you think I should go out with her?"

"Objectively speaking, AEGIS seems a desirable partner. You and she share a long history from what I have gathered, and she is willing to shoulder the more abrasive aspects of your personality without too much complaint. I see little risk of you two both realizing you are completely incompatible and falling out with each other, which would be the worst-case scenario you are attempting to avoid, I assume?"

"Yeah. But you make it sound so...clinical."

"In my experience, a relationship based on anything other than pragmatism ends in suffering."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means exactly what it sounds like."

"Okay, then please elaborate?"

She paused again but only for a moment. "All relationships end, Athan, by circumstance, drift, dissonance, or death. Relationships are necessary because cooperation is an essential part of who we are as a species, but 'making friends' just for the fun of it will just end in pain when that relationship is severed. Do you understand?"

"Damn, girl. Who hurt you so bad?"

"Do you understand?"

"Sure. I don't agree, but I get it."

"The more both of you can get from a relationship while keeping it strictly professional the better. This is how to have strong, reliable relationships without being hurt."

"And...fun? Happiness? Comfort? Are those words which exist in that head of yours?"

"I understand the need for them. Sex, I believe, is also necessary from a relationship. A person who goes for too long without will act unpredictably, especially around those of the opposite sex."

"This is seriously taking the completely dry wit bit too far."

"Speaking of dry, it has been several months for me. I fear this may have impacted my performance on the last mission. If you are willing, or have a recommendation of a thorough lover--"

"Okay, and this is the part where you look at me flatly and go 'joudan', I got it."

"Why would I joke about a serious matter such as my work performance?"

I think I just got seriously propositioned. I hoped she was just layering jokes now that I was starting to call her on them, but it was impossible to tell. Putting that completely out of my mind, I turned to Tem. "Okay, Tem! You're no longer the craziest girl here, congratulations."

"Yay!" she cheered, probably completely serious. Still just a disembodied voice, stalking me at 5:30 in the morning.

"What do you think of AEGIS and I dating?"

"Hmm…" she said, sitting in the seat next to me and materializing out of the air. I saw the guy at the counter do a double-take but he seemed more convinced of deja-vu than an Exhuman event.

"You s-s-spend a lot of time arguing, but you also laugh a lot. They upset you, but they also take care of you, I think. Do you think AEGIS makes you happy?"

"Yeah. She's definitely a little bipolar feeling on when she's giving me shit and when she's treating me like a god, but on the whole, I think I like both sides of that."

"Well, I do not approve of anyone giving you s-s-shit. I will tell her to s-s- tell her to knock it off." She narrowed her eyes and ominously added "Or else."

I bopped her on the head and she squeaked. "No threatening to kill my friends."

"I never...was going to kill her."

"No threatening to hurt, mutilate, torture, traumatize, or humiliate my friends."

She stopped and thought seriously, putting on her best Moon face.

"No doing whatever you're scheming right now either. Tem, no lasering anyone but bad guys, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded. "Unless they really need it."

I shook my head. "So you think AEGIS and I are a good match then?"

"If they make you happy. I will protect you and they will make you happy. We will be like s-s-s-sisters, in your s-service." She smiled broadly.

I took a second to compare and contrast the girls on my sides. One was a naive, possibly psychotic woman-child who wanted only what was best for me, with a terrible definition of what that meant while utterly de-emphasizing her own value to the point of destructiveness. The other was a cynical, possibly sociopathic woman-child who wanted only what was best for me, with a terrible definition of what that meant while utterly de-emphasizing her own value to the point of destructiveness.

How very lucky I was to have them.

Still, being utterly opposite, the truth had to be somewhere between the two. From Moon's...Kaori's pragmatic point of view, AEGIS and I were compatible and each offered each other much. From Tem's carefree point of view, AEGIS made me happy and would challenge me. Which sorta sounded like, yeah, AEGIS was awesome and I shouldn't be hesitating.

I frowned and poked at the soggy rye bread in front of me.

Yeah. I knew that, though. Honestly, this was never really about AEGIS, it was about me. I was dragging my feet. But why?

I didn't really know. I'd given myself the excuse that I threw in with Saga too readily and it'd been a disaster, but I also knew that Saga was...not relationship material. We were incapable of getting too intimate without her freaking out, it was impossible for me to silently harbor negative thoughts of any kind without her seeing and overreacting to them.

And...she was missing some biology which was at least somewhat important.

I'd told AEGIS I was just...really into my career right now, I think the excuse went. And that was true. Honestly, in the last two nights since we'd come back from the op, I'd spent way too long looking at the ceiling instead of sleeping and remembering Moon's words from the dungeons which seemed to place the team, the XPCA, and the world on my shoulders directly.

Even if I disagreed, the fact that others saw me that way was disturbing. Fundamentally, I was just some stupid kid who thought that Exhumans got treated unfairly, and said 'hey, that's unfair'. And, yeah, I had gotten pretty lucky and fought for what I'd believed, and had some amazing friends willing to back me up, but I was still just that stupid kid deep down. The fact that anyone saw me in a way even resembling being some kind of hero, that troubled me on a level I really couldn't fathom.

Like, people hating me, totally normal. Expecting me to fail? Yeah me too. Utterly misplaced hero worship? What the fuck, Tem. But taking a half-serious look at the world and my place in it and somehow concluding that I was something to it?

Yeah, I had no idea. It threw me for a loop back when I was mad at her in the cell, and it threw me for a loop now. And while that was loop-throwing in my head, I didn't feel like I could give dating the attention that was fair to AEGIS.

She was a seriously dedicated woman, and how I had ingratiated myself to her so deeply, frankly, I didn't understand. She could go on about saving her life all she wanted, but that was just me acting as I thought best, she owed me nothing, as far as I was concerned. But she was, I was certain, and knowing her personality and what she'd already done for and to me...she was going to date the ever-living fuck out of me if I gave her the chance, and if she did that while I was walking around in a haze thinking about the words of another woman the whole time...well, it wouldn't be right.

And yet, seeing her practically running away from me today, I really had to wonder if trying to hold back was best. I felt...a bit like her, honestly. Doing what I thought was best and keeping my reasoning a secret from her. And then the fact that I just sucked at lying and secrecy just made it seem like I was simply blowing her off, making this all worse.

Why doing the right thing made me feel like crap, I had to wonder.

I wandered around outside until the cold seeped into me at the neck and wrists, and I started looping back to the barracks, having nowhere else to go, really. I noticed Tem was still following me, but I didn't have anything to say to her really, so the two of us just plodded on in silence.

I spent a few hours just sitting in my bunk, playing some of the mobile games AEGIS had left with me, what felt like so long ago, when she'd brought a picnic in here to spend some time with me while I was still wrestling with getting over Karu. Tem was curled up next to me like a cat, snoring softly.

The games were fun, I had to admit. She brought four of them, physical copies on transfer cores, emblazoned with colorful stickers labelling which was which. I imagined any games she got for herself, she just downloaded directly, so she must have stopped by a physical store to get these for me. Kingdom Blade was one of them, but I was never touching that game again, but the rest were lighter fare, probably what she thought was more my speed.

Currently I was playing Fourth and Goal, a little football simulator. Honestly, it was nothing like real football, being able to jump from player to player to control whoever was holding the ball was kind of a ridiculous notion, and the AI controlling my teammates worked way too hard making the play I'd told them to run work, instead of reacting to what was happening on the field.

But man, the sound. That ripe, guttural series of grunts when the offensive and defensive lines crashed and sweaty bodies slammed into each other, or the almost paranoid footsteps of a QB who sensed he was getting sacked and put on a sudden burst of speed, it absolutely took me back, like a tiny window on my wrist opening up to my past.

I'm sure AEGIS had probably agonized over getting it for me--she did love to worry, after all. Would this be a happy reminder of something I used to love, or a sullen memento of a life which left me behind?

I was glad she'd gone with it, and that action--definitely way overthinking things at this point for having sat here on my holo for a few hours now--belied an optimism in her, of me, that I wasn't sure I agreed with. She believed in me even if I didn't, in this tiny way. It would have been so easy for her, at the game shop to hover over a football game and say, 'hm, maybe not,' and pass on by to avoid stirring up troubling memories, but she'd opted not to do that.

And why? I could speculate, but the answer seemed pretty apparent to me. Football made me happy, and as she'd reiterated many times now, even if nobody else cared, even if I didn't care, all AEGIS wanted was for me to be happy.

I put my mobile down and opened up the lunch that had been sitting next to me this whole time, still warm from a little heat pack she'd slipped in the underside of the box.

I ate a little bit of everything, and without exception, it was all incredibly good. Nutritionally balanced, lightly seasoned but flavorful, cooked perfectly...maybe even accounting for the hours it would sit on a heat pack. I remembered her first amateurish attempts only a few weeks back and shook my head at just how amazing this girl was.

So why couldn't I just say yes?