It had been less than two weeks since the event, and I felt like the whole world had gone insane. It wasn’t Athan going away — although that hurt like a fresh wound every time I thought about it. It was everyone else. They’d all just turned…strange.
Mom would cry at the drop of a hat. She’d taken to picking up random things in the house and just holding them and crying. Once she’d started, it’s like she wasn’t in the same world anymore. She’d look right through us, ignoring everything we’d say or do to placate her.
Dad had turned militant, and was always angry and lashing out. I’d learned not to mention Athan in his presence anymore, or else risk him exploding ‘THAT NAME MEANS NOTHING TO ME!’ which was very convincing of course. But aside from that, it seemed like anything could set him off. One day I got home from school and Dad immediately started screaming at me for leaving something out which had ‘made my mother cry.’ Which was pretty much anything at this point.
I began to spend more time at school whenever I could, but even there stuff was messed up. Felt like the whole class had split 80-20% in treating me like I was suddenly made of glass, or thinking I was going to be the next Exhuman and maybe if they bullied me hard enough, I’d jump in front of a metro instead.
Even the other girls in volleyball, my best friends had become touchy and distant. I felt like we were doing the same things we’d always been doing, hanging out, shopping, studying together, froyo raids, but we were only doing them because they wanted to make sure I was still included in doing all the normal stuff. Like somehow we were actresses playing our own lives, and when we got home they could all take off their masks and breathe easy again now that I was gone.
It hurt, and the only person I wanted to talk to, to confide in, the only one I could trust–was supposed to be able to trust, my whole life–he was gone.
Of all people, I think Brick was the only one who noticed. Which was funny, since he and I never got along great. I thought he was an butthead, and he thought I was a brat. But we shared something in common, that Athan had been a huge part of both of our lives. After Athan was gone, he retired from the football team and signed his army papers. At the end of the year, he was off to basic.
He started spending a lot of time around me, which I didn’t really mind. I felt alone constantly, and having him nearby, well, it didn’t help exactly, but he didn’t bug me, just kind of hung out nearby, so it wasn’t really annoying. I didn’t know what he was up to, but given how bad I felt all the time, I assumed he had his own similar stuff.
One evening, we were laying on our backs on a hill behind the school. He invited me out there, told me it’s what he and Athan used to do after games and tests, and whenever life got too crazy. He pulled out a cigarette of all things and started smoking it. I had no idea that anyone smoked anymore, much less where you’d be able to get them, but I didn’t mind.
The sky was beautiful. I was always wrapped up in go-go-going, studying, hanging out, practice, browsing the ‘net, I never felt like I had ever done this, just stopped and looked at something for so long. The more I laid there, the more stars I could see, first just a few bright ones, but soon, there were stars in every corner of the sky above me.
I wondered how many times Athan had done this, and if I closed my eyes, I could imagine him laying next to us, the wind rustling his short brown hair, his eyes, the same green and brown as mine, capturing the heavens. Maybe propped up on his strong football arms.
I started talking. I don’t know why, I didn’t have anything to say, I just had someone I could talk about Athan with for the first time in weeks.
“We were always competing. At everything, especially the stupid stuff. Like carrying in the groceries. Doing laps in the pool. Running to school. He almost always won, ever since we were little…star quarterback with a football scholarship against a little freshman. But I beat him sometimes, when I could outsmart him at something. He got good grades and stuff, but I was always the one trying new things.”
“I remember one day,” I said, laughing despite tears welling in the corner of my eyes. “It was halftime in a game and I saw they kept pressuring the left side. Kept running right and harried so he couldn’t get rid of the ball. I told him, why don’t you have your receivers all go left, then you can track them and keep an eye on the breaking line at the same time, instead of trying to run one way and throw another. It sounded stupid, trying to go through their strongest point instead of avoiding it, but Athan trusted me and he tried it. And we got 6 great receptions doing that before they tried to change things.”
“I remember that game. He told us all it was all your idea, but only after it worked.”
“I bet if the play sucked, he would have taken the blame for it.”
“Probably.”
“I remember when I made the volleyball team. He was so proud of me. He’d been helping me do drills out in the back yard for days. At first it was so funny because he was so bad at volleyball, he couldn’t even pass it to me straight. But he hung in there, and I learned a lot of the mistakes he was making, I was making too. We both got so much better. He was joking that he needed to join the volleyball team too so my training didn’t go to waste. He was always supportive like that.”
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“Can you…not?”
“Not what?”
“Can you not talk about him?”
“I thought that was why we were here.”
He rolled over on the grass and looked at me seriously, his eyes glittering in the dark. “He’s not here anymore, Lia. You are, and I am. He’s dead and gone and we should forget about him.”
I was shocked. This was not what I expected from Athan’s best friend. “He is not dead, and I will not forget him.”
“He’s dead to me, and the world would be a better place if we all forgot him. He was an Exhuman, Lia. Whatever happened before, however great a guy he may have been, he turned. He turned bad, as bad as it gets. You’ve heard the stories, you read the books. The freaking nursery rhyme even, Monday be like me, Tuesday evil be, Wednesday seems alright, Thursday starts a fight…“
“Of course I’ve heard all of that. But do you believe everything you read? Everything you see on the holo or on the ‘net?”
“No, but this is bigger than that. You’re just looking for a reason why you can keep thinking your brother is something he isn’t. But he isn’t, not anymore. I heard when they took him in, he killed like, 20 people.”
“I was watching until we got evacuated. He was laying on the pavement with his hands on his head.”
“Then how did twenty people die?”
“I don’t know.” I chewed my lip. I’d also heard the headcount. People had a gross obsession with how many bodies each event piled up. “But he didn’t kill them. Athan wouldn’t.” My vision of Brick’s stern face and glittering eyes began to swim as the tears built up.
“You think they shot each other? There’s only one way those men died, Lia.”
“I know! I know!” I said, as the tears broke and I couldn’t see anything anymore. “I just don’t believe it. I talked to him that night, and he was still looking out for us, trying to protect us from himself.”
I was totally unprepared for what happened next. I was sitting up, wiping my eyes on my arms because my hands were all grassy when I felt Brick moving next to me. His arms came from behind me and enveloped me in a strong, warm hug.
“You gotta forget about him. He’s gone, but I’m still here for you,” he said. Every fiber in my body tensed as I blinked back the tears to regain my vision as fast as I could.
“Uh, Brick,” I said. I didn’t know what else to say. My brain was having a real hard time catching up. Jesus, his arms were strong, and his chest was so firm.
“I know you’re feeling scared and alone. Me too. But we’ve got each other.”
“Okay,” I said. No! Not okay! My brain screamed at me. I was still recovering from my mental whiplash, and this was not what I needed right now.
“I-I’m headed to basic in a few months. So we can’t be too serious. But I thought I could…be there. Comfort you. Protect you.”
I squirmed out of his strong arms. “Look, Brick, you’re a nice guy…sometimes…but…I just lost my brother, dude. I’m all messed up right now.”
“Yeah, and that’s why you need me most right now.”
“I appreciate it dude, but I don’t think I’m ready for that.” I watched as his dimly-lit face eroded from hopeful, to solemn, to dark.
“Well, I don’t think that really matters,” he said, his voice a lot less persuasive and more of a growl. “I talked to your dad and he says he’s worried about you. He wanted me to look after you, make sure you didn’t do anything stupid like your brother. Whether you want it or not.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I shoved him off and got to my feet.
“Did you know I was the last one to see your brother a human? We were right here, and he just casually blew something up with a lightning bolt like it was nothing. Just showing off. Made this face like I was next, and I ran.”
“He told me you knew. But…wait…Brick, you didn’t?”
“I went straight to the XPCA and told them everything. I probably saved your life already, so the least you could do is be a little grateful–“
I slapped him across the face as hard as I could. My hand stung, and what was left of my tears flew from my eyes with the force of the blow. “He trusted you! You were his best frien–“
He grabbed my arm and twisted it, making me gasp from pain involuntarily. “I WAS! Until HE changed! I did what was right, I protected you, and I didn’t kill all those people” He was behind me, holding my arm so tight I thought it might break. He was yelling in my ears and my legs were weak under me. Abruptly, he let me go and I collapsed in a heap, new tears streaming down my face, stinging like fire. My arm hurt and my legs wouldn’t move.
“You owe me everything,” he spat. “And before I leave here, I am going to collect.” I heard his feet on the grass as he stomped away. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. I just sat and cried until the tears stopped coming and then, in a daze the whole time, followed my feet found myself back at home.
Mom seemed cheery. Dad ambushed me at the door. “There’s my little spiker,” he said. I hated it. I felt like he had to come up with some stupid sports-themed nickname for me just because he gave Athan one. I wasn’t even a spiker, I played the back row.
“Going to…going to bed,” I mumbled, trying to stagger my way past the human barricade.
“Now wait just a minute there missy,” Dad said, moving in my way again. “Not until you tell us how things went with Barry.”
“Who? What? It’s been a long day Dad, I’m–“
“With Brick,” he said. I felt my face wince at the name. I didn’t know how to reply. Everything seemed so messed up right now, and I was tired and felt like my head was heavy and full of fog, and everything hurt from crying too much.
I didn’t know what to say. The truth was the first thing that came to mind. “He…hurt me. And he said, he said he’s going to do more–“
“Because you turned him down!?” Dad asked. I’d done it now, I’d crossed one of those invisible landmines and set him off. I don’t know what he’d discussed or planned with Brick but whatever it was, I’d clearly messed everything up. “Stupid girl. Stupid fucking child!” he screamed, and drew back his hand.
Mom wailed in the kitchen and Dad turned around to address her. I bolted upstairs and locked my bedroom door before anything else could go wrong. I heard them screaming at each other below me and hid under my blankets, still in my clothes, waiting for the yelling to stop.
I didn’t know if it was his absence or his leaving which had turned everyone crazy, but more than anything, I just wanted Athan back in my life again. I needed him to make the madness stop.