I felt like I’d just blinked from reality and was back. My vision was swimming, not that there was much to see. I was aware that there was someone talking to me but had trouble focusing long enough to understand their words.

[Yo, coming around at last,] I heard Saga’s voice in my head. I started to get up but found my body wouldn’t respond. [Sorry, I kind of hijacked your brain’s control over your body for a bit here.]

“Saga? What’s going on?” I asked. I strung together the memories I had to see the last thing which had happened to me. I was…coming to see Saga. Then I ran into my parents? And then an explosion…none of this made any sense.

[You have a teensy-weensie little concussion. Your brain chemistry is all fucked up, and I’m doing a bit of…let’s call it manual reprogramming to get you set straight. Lucky for you, there’s not any bleeding or bruising…I’m more of a shrink than a surgeon.]

“How did I get here? I remember an explosion…but also lots of other things that don’t make sense. I think…my parents? And yours. And a bunch of XPCA people?”

[Try not to think about it (no seriously, it makes fixing your brain way harder). I’ll explain everything once I’m done in your head.]

“Okay. I’ll just…lie here and not think then, I guess…”

[Stick to your strengths.]

I bit back a quip and tried to let my thoughts go. It was impossible, but at least I had the weird sensation of someone rifling through my brain and full-body paralysis to focus on a little bit. Which was the opposite of any comfort.

I lay on the hard floor realizing how stiff my body was and having nothing to do but trace the little circle of light on the ceiling with my eyes and try not to realize that one wrong move (or whatever she was doing) and I’d be brain-dead.

[Oh, have some faith.]

“I don’t have much else to think about, you know.”

[You’re not supposed to be thinking at all.]

“Kind of hard to do.”

[Yeah I’ve noticed. You know, if people could control their thoughts a little better, I’d have a much better life.]

“What do you mean? Should we even be having this conversation? I thought I wasn’t supposed to think.”

[It’s fine. Whoops!]

“WHOOPS?” I sat bolt upright except for my body doing literally nothing.

[Just fucking with you.]

“Jesus Christ, Saga.”

[Anyway, if people could just keep a lasso on their damn thoughts, I wouldn’t have to hear every single inane, perverse, or angry thought which passed through people’s minds all the time.]

“I thought you read minds? Can’t you just…not read it?”

[I can read minds. Surface level thoughts just kind of get shouted at me constantly. Actually one of the reasons the XPCA put me down here was to cut down on the mental noise. See, when I was locked up in the main facility, there were so many people…so many voices around that it may have kind of made me a little…(…murdery…)…unstable.]

“Uh oh.”

[Lil’ bit. At first they thought I was just lashing out, but after telling me to stop and ‘disciplining’ me a few dozen times to no effect, they tried actually figuring out what was wrong. Moved me down here to cut down on my range and the number of people in it. Actually kind of thoughtful of them (relatively speaking).]

“I…saw that, actually. When I came here, I had a vision of them moving you. Fifty two guards, three facilities, one prisoner.”

[Yeah, sorry about that.]

“What happened?”

[I was asleep.]

“What, that’s it?”

[Yeah. I don’t sleep much. Powers mean I don’t have to, guards were nice enough to put me through enough sleep deprivation that it was definitely a thing checked off in my Ramanathan window, but I still do sometimes if I’m bored or just not paying attention.]

“And…why does that make me hallucinate about your past?”

[Cuz it’s my subconscious mind running the powers then. I could make you have hallucinations about whatever I wanted, I just don’t (not that it wouldn’t be fun). Subconscious me, she’s got no qualms with sticking whatever people are nearby into whatever thoughts she happens to be having.]

I felt the pressure on my brain take a different tone for a moment and a twinge went down my spine, even as I couldn’t move it at all. It was a very uncomfortable experience.

[Aha, I see you got stuck in some of your own memories as well. Subconscious me is apparently an avid reader and likes to pick through people’s memories and show them to people. I guess she’s not a very nice person.]

“Is she…actually another person?”

[No, you idiot, I’m just personifying the random thoughts in my mind.]

“Hey, when it comes to your brain, I’m not making any assumptions.”

[Wow she really ripped into your latent fears. Family issues, huh?]

“That’s private.”

[I think you’d have learned by now that when dealing with a mind-reader, there really isn’t any concept of private. But you’re cute.]

“Thanks. Still private.”

[So your sister’s cute.]

“Private?”

[Your dad seems like a major tool though.]

“You are deliberately antagonizing me at this point, aren’t you.”

[That took you longer than I expected.]

“So to completely change the subject, you were asleep, and that’s why all this shit happened to me.”

[No, what happened to you as a result of me sleeping would be benign. It takes a lot more focus and concentration to use my powers to actively mess someone’s brain up than my subconscious is capable of mustering. What actually made all this shit happen to you was your brilliant idea to detonate an explosive in an enclosed area from 10 feet away.]

“I was like, 60 feet away.”

[My apologies. I see that worked out so much better for you.]

“I didn’t know what was wrong with you, okay? I was trying to help.”

Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

[Well your little explosion certainly woke me right up, so yay, mission complete?]

“Did it at least break the window so I can get you out?”

[Not even. The whole damn room is built like a…well, a prison cell.]

“I brought more explosives.”

[I’m pretty sure the not-reinforced-in-any-way roof would collapse on you before the walls gave. But I do appreciate the effort, misguided though it may be.]

I lapsed into silence. So everything I’d just endured was completely pointless, and worse, if she weren’t here to put my scrambled brain back together, I’d have put myself out while achieving nothing.

[Lighten up, no harm done. Your brain’s all fixed up, giving you back control now. Let me know if anything doesn’t feel right.]

I suddenly felt very heavy and like I was filing out my body, like a blob of jelly which hit my body and splattered and wiggled its way in. Except I was the jelly.

“Well that was completely unpleasant.”

[Celebrate it. You’re probably the only person in the world who’s ever felt that sensation. Most people in your state would just stay paralyzed for the rest of their lives.]

“That’s a…weird way of looking at it. What about the rest?”

[Oh, they’re dead. Or something. (I don’t know, I was just talking.)]

“Great. Well, back to the matter at hand, it seems explosives are not the answer. AEGIS says she can’t help out without being able to actually see the mechanism, and ‘video won’t do any good because I don’t know what to look for.'”

[It’s true though, you don’t know what to look for.]

“You really do enjoy telling me all the things I don’t know, don’t you?”

[It’s one of my life’s few pleasures.]

“She was thinking of making some broadcast relays, but being underground…we’d need to put them every few feet, she thinks. And making that many would take forever.”

[Yes, having to wait forever for something. I could see how that would be frustrating.]

“So I guess the point is, as far as getting you out of here goes, it’s just you and me. And by that I mean just me, because 100% of your creative energies are spent making up mockeries for me.”

[It’s a blessing and a curse.]

“I’m going to go inspect the circuits in the back again,” I said, lifting myself up with an effort. My body felt weird to inhabit, but I wasn’t sure if something was amiss, or if I was just overthinking it. I shook some feelings into my limbs and headed back towards her chamber.

It was…further than I’d thought. The explosion must have carried me some ways down the hall. I reached back to the back of my head where I’d crashed and felt a swollen tender lump, caked in syrupy dried blood, but no pain unless I was poking it.

[Yeah, you’re welcome, by the way.]

“Um, thanks. How bad was I?”

[We’ll go with ‘bad.’ Like, might not have woken up bad.]

“Oh.”

I took the last dozen steps with added weight in my steps. AEGIS was right to worry about me blowing myself up. I’d actually done it, and if it weren’t for Saga and her powers, I’d be dying right now. I felt shame wash over me, how could I have been so stupid?

I could blame Saga’s dreams and my emotional state in dealing with my family and Saga’s demons all I wanted, but in the moments I was placing the bomb and running, I was lucid. It was nothing but a horrible, idiotic decision on my part. I really deserved to be dead.

Saga was nice enough to leave me and my reverie a little privacy until I made it back to her room.

[Did even less damage than I thought,] she said. The window was shattered in the middle, but still completely intact with the metal grating reinforcing it from within. Black scorch marks framed the window, but underneath them, the metal was a shiny and unblemished as ever.

“Looks like a total waste of time. Let’s look at the electronics.”

Things were pretty much exactly as I remembered them. Of interest was a valve that took all of my strength to turn, which I knew opened the door while I held it but for no longer.

“And you can’t just walk out while I hold it?”

[No, kinda trapped in this whole coffin contraption. (And…)…and never mind.]

“What?”

[Well let’s just say the coffin doesn’t like it if I try to leave it.]

“It’s trapped?”

[It’s a layer of defense they put around the Exhuman. No way I’m just strolling out of here without you coming in here first.]

“What if I held it and Wynn went in?”

[No way. No human’s going to hold my life in their hands.]

“What if Wynn held it while I went in?”

[I just said, no human is ever going to hold my life in their hands. Don’t you listen?]

“Wynn’s a good guy. I’m sure you’ve read his mind–“

[I said no, and I mean no!] She screamed out of seemingly nowhere. My head pounded as her voice washed over me.

“What the hell. Why not? We’re talking about getting you out of here!”

[And I don’t need to explain myself to you! Humans can’t be trusted. Period. The end. I will never allow a human to set foot in my chambers…while…]

“What are you so afraid of? You can’t even die, right?”

[Like I’d tell you. Wow, Saga, there seems to be something you’re afraid of, why don’t you tell it to me. What are you, stupid?]

“Well, apparently. Here I am trying to save your life and you’re bitching me out about it.”

[My life doesn’t need saving. In case you forgot, I can’t die.]

“Then what the hell is the problem?”

[I…you–!!!]

“Jesus, what the hell, just tell me!”

[Screw you. I’m not telling you anything. (And especially nothing about my ‘coffin’…)]

“What about your coffin? You said it’s trapped…will it hurt whoever opens it?”

[I didn’t say anything about that! (Trapped on the outside? What an idiot.)]

“Not…on the outside? You mean, if you try to open it, it’s trapped…on the inside?”

[I never said any of this! What the hell! (How the–damn it all.)]

“So you won’t let Wynn hold the door for me because you’re worried he’ll betray you by locking me in, and you won’t let me hold the door because you’re worried he’ll use the coffin’s traps to kill you, or whatever it’ll do to you.”

[…]

“I’ll take that as a yes. He won’t do that, to you or either of us. He’s a good person.”

[And you say this from your vast experience with him, yes? You’ve met him, what, three times?]

“I know a good person when I see one.”

[Is that so? Well here’s a juicy little bit of obvious that’s been dangling in your subconscious for a while. How do you think the XPCA knew you were Exhuman?]

“I don’t know. They have sensors for that kind of thing don’t they?”

[Oh of course they do. That’s why they have hotlines where you can dial in to report Exhuman activity. So the sensors can dial in to report their findings. No, you idiot, you were turned in by another person.]

“That’s not possible, nobody knew about my…”

[Oh yes. There’s that beautiful realization. Tell me, which of your best friends since childhood, a boy you grew up with, played football with, your and his fathers were army buddies together…which one of those best friends knew about your powers? And how long did he keep it a secret for you?]

“No, he wouldn’t. Brick wouldn’t.”

[He did. Believe it. All that talk about human loyalty and friendship, worth exactly nothing. All the experiences you shared and bonds you made, gone in a heartbeat. To him, to all humans, we’re nothing but Exhumans. It’s right there in the name.]

“I-I don’t–“

[There’s nobody else and you know it, Athan,] she crooned, almost seductively. [I’ve been alive a long, long time, and seen in many, many people’s heads, and let me tell you one last time: Humans. Can’t. Be. Trusted.]

I fell to my knees. This…couldn’t be right, could it? My mind raced over the last hours of my humanity, trying to find any other way, any other hint that I might have revealed myself. I hadn’t even told Lia, whom I trusted with all my heart. The only one who knew was Brick, but he was my friend, my best friend. We’d known each other for our whole lives.

I thought of every moment the two of us had shared, all of the victories and trouble we’d gotten into together. But Saga’s words were like venom, poisoning each memory as I recalled it, seeing them from his point of view, Athan, not as big or strong but still the star player. Athan, the popular one while Brick hovered near the party’s doorway. Athan, with his good grades and football scholarship, while Brick joined the army…volunteered to invade mainland China…a death sentence.

Why wouldn’t he say something? Why couldn’t he trust me and open up? Why was he content to be so angry and just play a supporting role?

I remembered a year ago when he first started smoking. We’d learned that people used to do it and laughed about how dumb people used to be. I said I’d never do it, even if they were around today, because there were so many more fun ways to spend a lot of money to kill myself. Next week, Brick shows up with a pack, starts puffing away, tells me he has to have something to make him unique and stand out, even if it kills him.

I never realized he wasn’t joking.

[Yeah, and now you see the world a little more clearly. I’m sorry it hurts.]

“You’re not sorry at all,” I lashed out, feeling hot tears down the sides of my face.

[Eh. Debatable. I honestly am if that really matters. I don’t enjoy causing you pain, but you are just so willfully ignorant about how the world works sometimes, it’s truly frustrating.]

“I don’t want your cynical, toxic worldview, Saga. Even if Brick did betray me, even if I’m a poor judge of character.” I stood up and slammed my fist into the shattered glass, looking down at the coffin in the room below. “I believe in a world where humans and Exhumans can coexist. Where jealousy and fear don’t drive a man to betray his best friend. Even if you’re right, and that’s the world we live in, I believe in a better world. And that world starts with us, Saga.

I felt her sigh and the last traces of glee at corrupting me fade away like tendrils of fog in the sun. In its place, a hint of guilt.

[I guess…in the long run…if I had my way, there’d be a lot of wars and a lot of dead people. And then not a lot of people, period. Convenient though that may be, especially for one who would prefer people’s minds stop screaming at her, I…suspect…that is morally questionable.]

“This is the shittiest apology I’ve ever heard.”

[Fine. You’re not wrong. You’re not right either, but neither am I. Is that good enough?]

“I’m willing to accept that, but only because you’ve already saved my life once today.”

[Good. Sigh. Now get the hell out of here and go suck face with your girlfriend AEGIS. I’ve got a lot of thinking to do.]

“S-she’s not my girlfriend!” I said, feeling the color rise in my face.

[Son, if you think I had some mental ammo on your subconscious about Brick, wait until I point out the number of times you’ve gawked that girl’s cleavage.]

“O-okay, leaving now! Bye!”

[Bye, Athan,] she said, and then lapsed into a pensive silence for the rest of my trip.