I sat staring out the window at the scenery whipping past, feeling the world a little too heavy and melancholy for the cheery, late-spring day out there.

The party with everyone a couple days ago had been fun. Even though it was a serious talk that needed to happen, the fact that we were all capping off a win, that the recent problems with the P-Force looked like they were over, that Whitney and I were getting our own lives back — and a whole lot of drink, over two-hundred credits in booze — I don’t think the atmosphere could have been lighter.

And while it had carried on long into the evening, and several of our guests stayed through yesterday, as the cheer ebbed away I found myself alone with uncomfortable thoughts.

Not…depressing thoughts, exactly. I was finally in a position to do things again. I felt more empowered than helpless for the first time in a long, long time. These thoughts, I knew, were just motivation towards the goals I needed to hit next.

But they still left me perturbed. And after most of a day of thinking and dwelling and trying to figure out plans for how to proceed, AEGIS had shown up in my room, looking as downtrodden as I.

She was sitting next to me now, on this bus she’d forced me to get on, her face somber and still, focused on her own thoughts. Though she gave me a small close-lipped smile when she saw me studying her.

“Doing okay?” she asked.

I nodded. “I was never doing poorly. Well. I wasn’t doing poorly anyway.”

“I know. And it’s not my place to tell you how to deal with it, but you need to deal with it somehow and you weren’t. We’ve got a little time now to ourselves and if you don’t do anything with it at all and just sit and think like you enjoy doing so much, I think you’ll regret it later on.”

“Maybe.” I turned back to the window. “I dunno.”

“I know you just want to focus on chasing down Dragon. I’m all caught up on my memories now, and believe me, I do too. But this is also important.”

“It just doesn’t seem important. I dunno what’s out there that isn’t already in here,” I said, tapping the side of my head. She chuckled as she took my hand and adjusted it to point at my heart instead.

It had only been a couple weeks since Alyssa died. A lot had happened in that time, although much of it had just been distractions…focusing on rebuilding Whitney’s exosuit. Being afraid to face the world and reality. Beating myself up for daring to live a normal life.

A lot of those things still were with me of course. My head…and my heart, as AEGIS pointed out, felt like a jumbled mess of positives and negatives and things I wish went differently all stepping on each other in a tangled dance.

As the bus slipped out of the city and the endless sprawl of noise and buildings faded into the quiet of scrub-laden hills, pocked with blackened trees still standing from California wildfires ages ago, my thoughts seemed to clear out with the surroundings a bit. Before too long, the hills levelled out for a bit and there was carefully manicured grass and ornate white edifices erupting from it, in defiance of the desert and sun.

We stepped off the bus and stretched in the parking lot, the heat of the day seeming to go right up my nose. The highway we’d taken here created a dull constant roar of noise which echoed strangely off the hills, making the air sound silent and rumbling all at once. It was a weird place. It wasn’t a place I wanted to be, but somewhere I knew I should go.

I took a deep breath as I crossed the threshold. And from there, it was a minute of somber silence before we found what we had come for.

Alyssa Danhauer

2232-2252

“My favorite day is today.”

AEGIS pressed the bouquet of flowers she’d carried in her lap this whole time into my hands and gave me a reassuring nod as we I hesitated to approach. Her fingers gently snaked around mine and she gave me a squeeze, and then let me go. I took a deep breath again and forced my feet closer to the smooth white stone.

“Should…should I say something?” I asked AEGIS. She just gave me a reassuring smile and waited a ways back. The implication was clear. This was between me and Alyssa. I swallowed hard, finding the whole situation so much…so much harder than I thought it would be.

In my head, I’d always thought…it’s a rock. It’s dirt. It’s the remains of what a person was stored in before they left. Graves were like graduations ceremonies, they were a big deal put on to celebrate someone whose real achievement had been done well before. I’d thought they were stupid and pointless, honestly, and it was kind of a shock to find myself this affected by those three simple lines on a stone.

Because…there she was. Everything left of her on this Earth except our memories, and even those seemed to bubble to the surface as though the grave summoned them.

“H-hey, Alyssa,” I said to the white rock. “It’s me, Athan. I um…I brought you flowers. AEGIS did really. I’ll…put them here, with the others.” The cellophane they were bundled in crinkled as I laid them to rest. The noise seemed jarring, and I looked around and confirmed nobody else was in earshot.

This wasn’t going well. I didn’t know what I was doing. All Alyssa was to me right now was that blank, peaceful face on the roof of the building, french-fry hair hanging in her face where she’d never push it behind her ear again, the only breath stirring it came from the fire.

“You’re dead,” I started again. “And…I don’t think you would be if not for me. You were just…just a girl. Someone my age, who was looking for their place in the world, who loved writing and reading and talking with her friends. And you met a guy who had troubles in his past, and those troubles cost you everything.”

I still felt inadequate at just summarizing events, but I pressed on, feeling a compulsive need to say…to say anything, really. But I had no idea what, or why. Or what I was doing here, even.

“The guy who killed you…we don’t have anything concrete yet, but we’re going to get him. I’m going to get him. I’m going to make him pay for what he did to you. He killed you in cold blood, Alyssa, for no reason at all. He could have just let you go, you’re just human, once he found out I was, he let me go for God’s sake. He didn’t care. And yet you died anyway.”

I closed my eyes and took a few breaths. Fire and pain. Her dying words. The last time her chest rose and fell. A knife stained red.

For nothing. All for nothing. A stupid, senseless death. I felt my hands trembling at my sides. And then I felt warmth as someone took my hand in her own.

“How’d you meet?” AEGIS asked.

“We were…were in the same class. The teacher had us passing papers down the rows just before class. and she was sitting a couple empty seats over from me. She was talking to Sebastian and laughing and not paying attention. I leaned over and tapped her and she turned and smiled at me, and I saw her eyes…she had red eyes, body mod. I said ‘woah’, and she said ‘woah’ back, all mockingly with a grin.”

I scratched my head. “At the end of class we were supposed to form small groups for a thing and I feel someone tapping on my shoulder. I look over and see those red eyes and that little smile and she just raises her eyebrows at me and says ‘woah’. Then asks if I have a group.”

“She sounds fun,” AEGIS said.

“One time, after class she went up to Darris and asked him about his opinion on some song. Darris was…really into music, and he’d just jump at any amount of interest shown in it. So before long, he’s acting out in the air the frets you’d have to hold down to be playing this solo, and she goes ‘like this?’ and she’s doing it too. And the next thing you know, somehow, we’re all just air-guitar jamming like morons. I don’t even remember how we got to that point, but Lia was whipping her hair around, and Darris was…damn he was happier than I ever saw him. That guy was so cynical about everything.”

“But everyone likes to cut loose sometimes. Do you think she did that on purpose?”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “But even if it wasn’t, she just made things a lot more fun.”

The warm hand in mine gave me a firm squeeze. “It’s a cliche, and I can bug you with the psychology of it later if you’d like, but don’t fixate on the death. It’s a really small and insignificant part of the much greater life that came before it.”

I looked up at AEGIS and found her with a small, warm smile, and realized I had tears in my eyes. Somehow, going over the memories of her life had hit me in ways that her death just couldn’t. I didn’t understand.

But unlike when I was standing there, trying to eulogize, I also felt like I didn’t need to understand. There wasn’t anything I was supposed to do or felt like I should be doing. I was remembering her, and crying, and that was good enough.

A dam broke inside me somewhere, and all the seconds we’d ever spent together came rushing in. Her glances and smiles, her jokes and laughter, all the little things about her which had made her such a unique person.

She’d gotten body mods after high school because she wanted to stand out more in college. And even then, she was afraid of putting herself out there, was afraid to be who she wanted to be, because like all of us, she was afraid of change and of rejection.

But fuck, if she didn’t try. She’d come to me for advice, and then she actually fucking did it. She’d gone and peeked in on classes which interested her and talked to others in that major and just did the damn legwork to separate her from everyone else who just drifted into a life without realizing. And she did it all with a smile, embarrassed or not.

I talked and remembered and laughed and cried with her there. I’d only known her for a few weeks in total, but it felt like every day was a new memory.

Until at last, I’d gone through everything, the entire history of her and me, and that led me back into that final day of Dragon and fire. I just stood there, feeling, remembering. I refused to let his darkness taint the light that she’d put into my life.

I brushed my fingers along the top of the headstone. “I’m gonna get him,” I told her. “I am. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you before. I was afraid if you knew, I’d scare you off. And maybe if that happened, you wouldn’t be here now. It was selfish of me to get you involved.”

I swallowed and found my throat dry. My tears were over.

“And I’m sorry for that. I’m just trying to make it through, and I can’t do it without people like you helping me. You, and Mage. Micaiah and Talon. It’s my fault. But…”

I shook my head. It sounded like excuses but it was what was in my heart. It was what kept me going, what made me able to live with myself, so I’d say it. She deserved to hear my thoughts, even if I thought they sounded weak.

“But it’s not me. Not really. I can’t talk about you like you’re just a statistic, because you’re so much more than that. But you represent a sick, fucked-up world, Alyssa. Your mother and father are in so much pain right now, because this is a place where an assassin can just kill someone and slip away. Where Exhumans can have an event and destroy lives and lifestyles. Where maniacs can snap and decide that more suffering is the answer to suffering. I want so badly to change it, to fix it, and stopping Dragon…putting that sick fuck in the dirt where he belongs instead of you, that’s my first step.”

I drew my fingers away from the stone. It had been warm to the touch.

“That’s why you died. And…I hope that’s what your death will mean. I love the sentiment and optimism of your quote…it’s very you. But I have to disagree. I think we live in the worst today, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life to fix that if I can.”

Someone was clapping slowly, and I turned, my brow narrowing at who the fuck would be doing that in a cemetery.

“Should I be honored? Though I’d hoped I had earned a greater mention than ‘maniac’,” Karu said, walking towards us, white armor glinting in the sun.

“Oh hi, Karu,” AEGIS said. Karu gave her a sideways glance.

“What are you doing here?” I growled at her.

“My, such hostility,” she said over a yawn. “You would think I were somehow responsible for her death.”

“Maybe not, but there are good people who are dead because of you.”

“Please. People, yes. Good? Hardly. And where was this moral high-ground when you sought me out previously? If I am the scum of the Earth, as you seem dead-set on treating me, why come crawling to me for martial training before?”

“You did that?” AEGIS asked of me.

“I’d just lost my powers. I was scared of Dragon. I wasn’t going to college yet, and I was directionless and stupid,” I told AEGIS, not taking my eyes off Karu. “And yeah, she gave me some very good combat tips and training. And consistently proved to me that she was still off her damn rocker.”

“I have determined that rockers are of little use to a hunter, that is all,” Karu explained. “‘Tis better to embrace one’s darkness than spend a lifetime in suffering under it.”

“Can you just answer my question? I really doubt this was for her,” I said, gesturing towards Alyssa’s grave.

“If you mean why am I here, than you are correct. Do not think me heartless, however. Her death was tragic, and I will think of her in my prayers tonight.”

“I’m sure that’s a lot of comfort, for her to know a killer is thinking of her.”

She grinned at me. “But as you probably surmise, I am here because you are here, and no others who would bear me hostility. That I could not handle,” she said with a smirk at AEGIS.

“Why would I be hostile to her again?” AEGIS asked.

“Have you been dropped on your head, little robot? Or is your core faulty?”

“Sorry. I’m actually new here,” AEGIS chuckled. “I’m a restored backup from last Winter. Do we have some animosity I’m supposed to study?”

Karu thought for a moment. “No. Well. It is possible Ashton sees it that way, but I have no issue with you then. Your…prior iteration was considerably aggravating, and I apologize for treating you as I would she.”

AEGIS just shrugged. “It happens. I get the impression she wasn’t very good at her job. Poor girl.”

I pointed my finger to the sky and discharged a bolt which made a peal of thunder echo around the hills and silent stones.

“Karu, for the third time, what are you doing here?”

“Such impatience. Is it not polite to catch up on small talk when meeting an old friend after a long separation?”

“Just say what you want and go away. I don’t want to accidentally give you anyone else you should be killing. Just do your thing and leave me alone.”

She grinned. “But you are my thing, Ashton.”

I crossed my arms and waited, and with an unbearable sigh she finally continued. “I am here in answer to your prayers. Literally this time, as it were. You see, I have an interest in Dragon as you do, for many of the same reasons.”

“What, because you have a shared interest in murder?”

“Yes,” she smiled. “That is certainly it. Well done. And not long ago, I noted that you gave the device he seeks to the XPCA for care and holding.”

“How do you know that?”

“Let us call it a very fortuitous combination of factors. One of which is the confirmation you just gave me, so I thank you for that.”

I growled at her but internally beat myself up more. Didn’t I just say I didn’t want to give her any more targets? And then the next thing that falls out of my mouth hands her secure data she should never have. Stupid, goddamn it.

“But acting on this knowledge…which again, I did not possess fully until right now, but a hunter sometimes needs to work on a hunch…I noted some internal restructuring occurring at the XPCA. Individuals being moved for what seem perfectly normal reasons, and not enough of them that there would be much to look out for. None of this would be suspicious except that several of these individual I know personally, and in speaking with them, they found it odd, to a man. Things were more secretive and bureaucratic than typical.”

“And the point of this is?”

“The point is, it is my belief that competent agents are being moved out of the way by design. Someone or something is lining up the holes, so that given the proper shake, the device will simply fall out of the XPCA without notice or alarm. Corrupt and incompetent officers are being given prominence…and all ever too conveniently.” She smudged the tip of her nose with her thumb. “As a hunter with a well-developed sense of paranoia, the entire situation reeked of wrongness.”

“Well…okay,” I said. “Assuming you’re right, assuming that Dragon somehow can pull string at the XPCA — which is impossible, by the way — you still haven’t answered my question. Why are you standing here right now telling me this stuff? If you know it, why not blast in there and kill a bunch of XPCA and fix the issue? That’s how you deal with things now, isn’t it? Can we ask Colonel Teryn to weigh in on that, or is he busy being dead?”

“He should not have threatened you,” she sniffed delicately.

“And you shouldn’t have killed him over it, damn it.”

“I am here to propose an alliance,” she said. “Our relationship has decayed over the last few months–“

“Gee, wonder why.”

“–and I would see it mended. You and yours are individuals I find I wish to work with, or under…or atop,” she raised her eyebrows at me once. “…and I have information you seek.”

“Screw that,” I said. “I can get it from AEGIS.”

“Are we talking about the information? Or being on top?” AEGIS asked. “Because, yes to both.”

“It will not work,” Karu scoffed. “The moves are too subtle and too skilled. If it were not for my personal relationships with these individuals, I would never have been able to see the trends, and I doubt very much that the AI engages with them on such a personal level.”

AEGIS chewed her lip. “Well, it is true that despite monitoring things as I always do, I was completely unaware that anything like this was even happening. Like, maybe if I look more into it–“

“By all means. Try,” Karu said. “Spend your time. Do you know when Dragon will be poised to strike? Are you willing to abandon a shot at him over your hubris?” She pointed at the patch of earth at my feet. “Were all your words about changing a world and stopping a killer mere hot air?”

“You are a killer, Karu.”

“Sometimes it takes one to stop one. I do not think my proficiency can be called into question.”

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. In a way, it was a relief. Being angry was a much less confusing set of emotions to parse than the hollow melancholy of the bus or the swirl of all the good and bad around Alyssa’s death.

But as angry as I was at Karu, she had a point, damn her. She wanted Dragon stopped and so did I. I couldn’t let my pride or feelings get in the way of that.

“If, I agree to work with you, you will act as my subordinate,” I informed her. “You will conduct yourself accordingly, and you will be cleared for any combat engagements before you so much as unload a single round. Are we clear?”

“You could have simply stated ‘no killing and no fun’, but I understand your intent,” she smiled at me, and extended her hand. “Your terms are acceptable.”

I still hesitated and then grabbed hold of her arm. A soldier’s embrace, though she lingered much longer than I thought was necessary.

I turned as soon as she let me go and let out a long, sullen breath.

“Sorry for leaving like this, Alyssa,” I said. “But I have to go make good on my promise. We’re going to stop Dragon, whatever it takes.”

Whatever it takes, I thought, turning back and catching the red glare of Karu’s visor.