I woke up to AEGIS’ hand snaking around in my pants, and blinked back the disorientation of suddenly being alert.
“Sorry, sorry,” she said over a familiar buzzing noise. “I was trying not to wake you.”
I muttered something at her, but damn if I’d be able to tell you what it was. She pulled her hand free from my pants and with it, my mobile from my pocket, which was buzzing.
“I was trying to turn it off before it woke you up,” she said.
I blindly reached out and picked up the call.
It took about three words to realize I wasn’t in the right state for this. “Chariot, you sonofabitch. You’ve done it this time. You’re dead, and there’s not a goddamn thing I can do about it.”
I looked at the front face of the device in my hand and tried to make sense of the letters. For starters, it was four in the morning, no wonder I felt like the undead. But the other information on the display informed me that the person currently cussing me out was Cosette. AEGIS frowned as she overheard, and I did my best to sit up beside her rather than take this call with my head in her lap.
“Cosette, it’s four in the morning,” I groaned at her. “What do you want?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “Oh no, I’m so sorry, I’d hate to be a huge fucking pain in the ass that ruins people’s lives. Seriously, Athan, just tell me why?”
“Why what?”
“Why…what?” she echoed. “Why what? WHY WHAT!?”
“Yes,” I closed my eyes against her yelling.
“JESUS GODDAMN MONKEY-FUCKING CHRIST, ATHAN,” she screamed, my eye-closing proving completely ineffective. “Just how many XPCA did you murder yesterday and facilities did you blow up that you’re unclear on which one of them I’m screaming at you about? Is treason such an everyday occurrence for you that I have to spell out which one I’m referring to every time I open my mouth?”
“Right,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “The facility. Dragon. Yeah.”
“Oh, here we go again. Dragon this, Dragon that. You can’t just do what the fuck ever you want and blame someone else every time you want to be a shit stain on the XPCA’s boxers, Athan. That’s not how accountability works. Are you even aware that you and he are — gasp! — different people, and that things you do, you are the one responsible for doing?”
“Cosette, he was there, I don’t know–“
“You don’t know anything, Athan. So stop giving me excuses. Wahh, Dragon wants a thingy. Yeah, that’s bad. So is burning down an entire facility. So is killing three strike squads single-handedly. You’re so fucking stupid, if you were twice as smart, I’d still have to change your fucking diaper every day. It’s bullshit. It’s just fucking straight bullshit, the things you do and just expect them to work out.”
The tirade of insults, I could deal with. It was expected, even. But what I was not expecting, what stabbed me in the chest like a hot knife was the sudden screeching sob through the line.
“You’re so fucking stupid and self-absorbed, you goddamn idiot!” she screamed at me, desperation and tears audible in her voice now, becoming more nasal as her face clogged with emotion. “I hate you so much, why did you have to do this? Why did you always have to keep pushing things, further and further and further, you couldn’t just be satisfied with killing Blackett, could you? You could never be satisfied until you ruined everything.”
“Um,” I said. “Cosette, what’s…wrong?”
I jumped as the other end of the line sounded like it got smashed into something a few times while someone screamed profanity at it. Perhaps I should have asked a better question.
“What’s wrong?” she echoed. “You are…so fucking…”
“I meant…more than…usual,” I sputtered. “I mean…what’s…you’re crying.”
“Oh these are tears of joy,” she screamed. “I’m just happy that after investing hundreds of hours of my life, after sitting through headache after headache of all the shit you do, after cleaning up your messes and believing your bullshit time and again, it’s over.”
She was practically wailing at me, almost incomprehensible.
“B-because of course I don’t care! You’re just…you’re just a stupid…selfish little prick. You’re wrong, and that’s…and that’s all there is to it! I don’t care about the hundreds of hours I put into trying to make it all work for you, or the secrets I buried for you, or…fuck, my own c-career…I don’t…it doesn’t matter. It was all stupid. It was all going to burn down anyway.”
I suddenly felt very awake and very alarmed, as Cosette’s manic screaming tapered down into a defeated stupor. “Cosette? Why is it over?”
She blubbered a little bit and blew her nose. “It’s over,” she said. “Because you’re off the lists. You’re…you’ve gone one too far. I can’t fix it this time, Athan. As much as I want to.”
I stared at my mobile. AEGIS’ yellow eyes were wide as she stared at me.
“Can you…tell me what that means?” I asked her.
“It means, you’re dead, Athan. It means you’re not XPCA. The P-Force is dissolving, they already brought in Tower and Jack. Agents are headed to your place in Vegas right now to secure Moon and Tem, and if they ever find you, they will kill you. Just like Exhumans are supposed to be handled.”
I stared at my mobile, reading and re-reading the caller ID. Her words seemed to take forever to penetrate my brain in a fashion that had nothing to do with my grogginess. It sounded insane. After all this, why now?
But one thing did stick, and that was that Cosette was crying and calling me in the middle of the night. No amount of denial or disbelief could survive that, and my heart wrenched as her words finally pierced it.
“The others did nothing wrong!” I screamed suddenly at her. “Why would they get taken in?”
“Because you’re dangerous and their allegiance might be to you. Anyone who might sympathize with you is going to be detained and investigated fully. Those complicit in your actions will be trialed for being party to treason. If they’re not…a holding cell in New Eden.”
“And you?” I asked.
“You already know that,” she whispered, her words ice-cold. “A full investigation, Athan.”
“No,” I told her. “No, no, no.” I screamed at my mobile “No! Cosette, where are you? Tell me. I can…I can help you. We can get you out before it’s too late. We can still fix everything!”
She blew her nose again. “Is that how you think I see the world, Athan? Do you think I signed up for the XPCA so that the second my life was in danger, I’d order some Exhuman to blow up a base for me? Be a man for once. Accept responsibility for once.”
“Goddamn it, Cosette, don’t you give up on me.”
“It’s not giving up, Athan. It’s facing consequences. I’ve always acted how I thought was best for the XPCA. When you tell me that Blackett’s putting his personal interests and pet projects above the common welfare, that he’s turning Exhumans into a private army, I roll with it because I agree that shit hurts us all. When you break into some facility to chase Dragon, I cover for you because despite everything, you’re still worth more than the trouble you cause, and having Dragon controlling our operations isn’t anything I want to tolerate.”
She sniffled again, and took a second to choke the sobs out of her throat. “But when it comes to one insignificant woman’s life, no matter how devoted or dedicated she is, no matter how pure her intentions, I will not have that become a catalyst for loosing a dangerous Exhuman on the XPCA.”
“Fuck you, Cosette, you’re not insignificant at all. You’re one of the good ones. Don’t do this.”
“It was done the second I listened to my heart instead of my orders, Athan. Now I’m just paying the bill. Or did you think we could just get away with everything forever, and nobody would ever care, all the shit we’ve done?”
This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“The shit I’ve done. You’re innocent!”
“You really are just a stupid kid,” she sighed. “I hate you so much, Athan. Even at the end, you’re still just making me trouble.”
Her words were harsh but her tone had turned light, almost friendly. Like she was saying goodbye to an old friend.
Suddenly I heard banging in the background, and muffled yelling. Her breath caught audibly in her throat, and when her words came again, they were pleading instead of angry.
“Athan…be a good Exhuman, okay? Even if you have to defy the XPCA…never forget to do it for the good of the people. Don’t become so wrapped up in what’s going on that you forget that, okay? Promise me.”
I felt tears stinging my eyes as the urgency in her voice rippled through my emotions. “I promise!” I yelled at her.
“You promised!” she shouted back, over other shouting voices now. “Don’t forget! You promi–“
The line went dead. Call ended, my mobile read. I stared at those two words floating on the holo.
It felt like minutes before they faded away and I was dumped back on my home screen. Suffocating silence filled the room.
“Athan,” AEGIS whispered.
“Why didn’t she run?” I asked. “She’s smart. She knows the XPCA inside and out. She could make it for a while. Long enough for us to get her and Rito together.”
She took my hand and squeezed it. “She said it, didn’t she? She never wanted to put you and the XPCA in conflict. She wanted to help them, not…start a chain of events that might end them.”
“We’re already in conflict!” I screamed at her. “They put me on the dead list! We burned our way through them, and they’re swarming this town looking for me.”
“But right now, we’re trying to get away. She doesn’t want us turning and fighting. She said to be a good Exhuman.”
“Good why?” I kept screaming. “They betrayed her! All she’s done, all the thousands of hours she’s worked, all the shit she’s put up with, she’s done it all for them, and now…”
“Athan, I know you’re upset,” AEGIS frowned at me. Her eyes flickered over my shoulder, and on glancing up, I saw Karu and Saga looming in the dark, visible in the visor’s red glow. “But…we don’t have time to worry about her right now, do we?”
“She’s gonna die, AEGIS. They’re going to pin everything I’ve ever done on her.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head sadly. “They’re going to pin everything she’s ever done on her. She chose to stay by your side through all you’ve done. Whatever happens, it’s because of her decisions, not yours.”
“That doesn’t matter!” I shouted, standing up. The pain all over was nothing compared to the white-hot burning of my own blood. “Just mincing words and being pedantic, when the fact is, she’s going to fucking die.”
“It matters,” AEGIS explained with a calm that pissed me off even further “because it means she’s living and dying on her own terms. Whether you agree or not, she’s choosing to let the XPCA have her, just like she chose to stand by you. You can’t just go conveniently altering blame to make her guiltless just because she’s a victim right now. She knows the part she’s played and she’s willing to pay for it. If you jumped in right now and tried to save her, you’d just be violating her wishes, telling her that her opinions are worth less than yours, and ruining what she is willing to sacrifice to protect.”
“What, the fucking XPCA?”
“Yes, the fucking XPCA. She believes in it, even as they’re taking her in, Athan. You have to respect that.”
“Bullshit–“
“And even if you don’t, we don’t have time for this,” AEGIS stressed. “She said they’re coming for Moon and Tem. We can argue about whether helping Cosette is right or not all you want, but helping those two is critical…and your sister…”
At the mention of Lia, the fire in my blood turned to ice, so much that I felt a shiver pass through me. No…Lia was innocent. They couldn’t…
But they would, wouldn’t they? Anyone associated with me, who had any loyalties to me, they saw as a threat, Cosette had said.
I was out the door before I knew it, electricity flowing in my veins where my muscles refused to move. I heard AEGIS calling behind me, and the clatter of Karu’s gear as she grabbed it by the armful, but stopping right now was impossible. Somewhere, just a state over from here, Lia was in danger. I had to get to her, that’s all I knew.
“Athan wait–!” AEGIS yelled as I jumped the railing on the stairs, falling down a floor and landing in a crouch, before doing it again. The roar of engines and the slamming of her heavy frame followed me, not able to catch up until the ground floor. She reached out for me and grabbed my wrist as I tried to run across the building’s small lobby, lined with mailboxes.
As her hand closed around mine, my shield detonated and she screamed at the sudden shock. Lightning exploded out of her in all directions, scarring black lines into the floor and ceiling, and warping the mailboxes near us so violently the doors exploded off of them and the contents burst into flames.
She jumped back and rubbed her wrist where her skin was blackened and I stammered half an apology while my feet kept moving for the door.
“Athan you need a plan,” she insisted, her voice spiking irregularly synthetic. “Don’t just run out there.”
“What I need,” I said, “is to keep Lia safe. What if they come, AEGIS? What if they come for her? What if they execute her on the spot? And Moon, and Tem, and Chiho? Will any planning save them then?”
Her eyebrows narrowed. “Yes. Planning is the only way to save them. Are you just going to run across state lines with the XPCA in pursuit? Athan…stop running. Come back here and…damn it, Athan!”
I let the door swing shut behind me as I left the building, the cold night air slapping my burning cheeks like it was offended by my exit. I turned, not certain which way to go, but my feet never paused. I whipped out my mobile and confirmed, yeah, this was west, and ran into the night.
It was less than a block before two different groups caught up with me.
One was AEGIS, panting and swearing as she ran as quietly as she could to avoid drawing attention.
She needn’t have bothered, because the other was a patrol of XPCA soldiers, a wall of six exosuits, turning to face me. Above and between them, I saw chunky head-sized cam-drones, their lenses so big and pearlescent I could see myself and the street behind me, twisted in their fisheyed view. Out of the corner of my eye, scuttling away from them, I spotted the loping gait of a quadrupedal recon unit slinking away.
As one, they raised their guns.
“Exhuman Ashton, this is your only warning,” one of them called in an echoing, synthesized voice that stripped out any traces of humanity behind it. “Do not resist. Surrender, or we will be forced to engage.”
I saw him shudder subtly, even through the dulled reflection of the exosuit mimicking him. “Disregard that, I suck cocks,” he said, in the same imperious tone. The others looked to him in confusion for a moment before as a whole, they trembled and collapsed, their suits holding them upright like limp puppets.
I heard a rush of wind and Karu set down next to me with Saga in her arms like a new bride. Saga beamed at me, Karu did not.
“I’m all for celebrating gays in the military but that guy had the worst timing, eh?” Saga grinned at me.
“Are they…dead?” AEGIS asked, panting for air as she frowned at Karu with irritation.
Saga shook her head and started mouthing off but I cut in. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s go. They’ll have a van around here we can take.”
“Are we just going to ignore the cameras pointed at us?” AEGIS asked, jogging to keep up with me. “The reinforcements certainly inbound? Or the fact the suits can be remotely piloted?”
“They what?” Saga asked, but just as we drew near the exosuits, they began to rise as one, snapping even more stern and upright than before, their unconscious passengers undoubtedly bouncing around inside while the suit moved around them.
One of them exploded violently, four shots of concentrated scattergun fire dumped into its lower torso, causing it to stagger and topple as scrap and blood and structure foam seeped from the wound.
I gave half a glance at the exposed flesh in the gash. White flesh beneath black armor. The occupant killed in his forced sleep.
I closed my eyes as I put two blades in the nearest two and spun them around to slice up as many internal systems as I could. One of them was the lead, who was still transmitting at the time, and I heard his synthesized death gurgles as I cleaved through him.
Closing my eyes didn’t make it any easier, I realized, and opened them again, to find that AEGIS had kicked out the autogyro of another suit which wasn’t able to rise or face us anymore, taking it out of the fight.
“The nape of the neck,” she said to me, her face carved deep with worry. “The ‘net uplink is there. You can destroy it without harming the pilot if you’re careful.”
“Or,” Karu said, blowing holes in another suit as it tried to raise its gun. “You can recognize they are an impediment and their deaths are meaningless to us, and to the world.”
The last two suits were fully online and were backing away from me, firing into my shield. One switched targets to Karu, prompting her to blast into the air as the suit’s gun swept towards her with inhuman stability. I heard Saga shriek as the other unloaded into her.
I forced my body forward towards the one on Karu and deliberately worked out where the ‘net uplink would be. It took a few seconds to account for the suit’s bulk and I wasted time trying to sense where the pilot was inside, but it was just blinding in there with all of the energy running through the suit itself.
At the same time, the one shooting down Saga stopped once her body hit the ground, and snapped onto AEGIS with the same robotic precision. I only had an instant before she got rammed full of bullets, and I felt myself close my eyes again.
One blade went through the ‘net uplink, and the suit dropped like a puppet again instantly. The other blade cut through whatever I could reach, pilot and systems alike. The gun finished its sweep towards AEGIS, before drooping and falling to the ground with the rest of the exosuit.
“A time to spare, and a time to kill?” Karu asked as she landed, seeming bemused at what I’d done in my efforts to keep her from getting shot.
“Leave him alone,” AEGIS said. “He’s already got too much to worry about right now. Let’s just get their van and get going before more show up. We’ve probably got around two minutes.”
I threw fistfuls of lightning into the hovering cam-drones, knowing that was a futile effort while recon teams were still lurking, but just happy to have a guilt-free way of taking out some of my anger.
Why couldn’t they just leave Lia out of this? Why did they have to force my hand? I didn’t want any of this, I thought, as I looked at the three men I’d just killed. Pointless, stupid deaths.
“Over here,” Karu said, flagging us towards the black vehicle parked on a corner nearby. “I should be able to start it without issue.”
“Is she going to drive?” AEGIS asked, going a little pale.
“Just get in,” I told her. I looked back and saw Saga slowly rising, picking bullets out of her sweater. She sighed as she lumbered up and climbed reluctantly in the back with me.
“How’s your day going?” she asked me. Karu threw the van into motion, and Saga lurched before realizing that seat belts weren’t optional on this ride. “I hope it’s better than mine, because I liked this sweater and now it’s ruined.”
I closed my eyes and blocked her out too, focusing only on what was in front of us.
It wasn’t fair. Cosette, and now Lia. Neither of them deserved this, neither of them should have had to pay for my stupid actions.
But one already had, no matter how much I wanted to deny it, how much I wanted the world to work differently, it already was. And if I didn’t get there, it’d happen again to Lia.
I refused to accept that. I refused to allow that to come to pass. I didn’t care how the world worked right now, or what anyone thought, or how responsibility or choice worked. Lia would be saved, because I would do everything I could to save her, and that was it. That was all.
Because if it wasn’t…I didn’t know what I was going to do.