I was fuming. These two could wear bikinis and flash leg all they wanted at the pool, but dragging me into it? In public? They were sick in the head if they thought I'd ever wear that thing.

"But we worked really hard on it," Chiho complained. "It'd look so great on you."

"Dude. The belt on my hips would be the largest piece of clothing I'd be wearing."

"Well, yeah, that's how the thief armor sets are."

We weren't even at the pool anymore. The three days of laying around, melting in the warm water had passed by faster than I could have imagined. By the end, I felt like I was a fluffy little sea otter, and the water was where I belonged. Boo, hiss, land.

Reluctantly, I'd migrated west a city to go to VGCon with the two nerds. And then they sprung this on me. I had to look it up on the 'net.

Cosplay:

(cos·play) noun, the practice of dressing up as a character from a work of media, especially one from the Japanese genres of anime or manga.

If I'd known what that had entailed, I'd have never agreed to any of this. They thought it would be fun to dress up for VGCon, as apparently tons of people did, and I was like, sure, what's the harm?

Well the harm was walking around freezing my ass off while it literally hung out for everyone in the world to see!

"What about Chiho and your costumes! Those look like actual clothes and armor."

"Well, Chiho's the biggest, so she's obviously the warrior, and they wear somewhat realistic armor in Tenshin. I'm the mage because she's the only character with long hair...and her armor is just as skanky as yours!"

"Yeah, and then you get to throw a robe over it, and shoulder pads, and a cape...thing...hanging off your butt? And a sweet as hell hat that covers your face so your friends won't all see who the hell has their tits hanging out when the pics go on the 'net!"

"And you're the most athletic of us, and the smallest, so it makes sense you're the thief class! Look, you get three belts, not just the one."

"One of those is for my neck. Why the hell would I want to protect my neck with a belt, when I have all these other guts like, oh I don't know, my heart, or my lungs, which are all just hanging out under bare skin?"

"Thieves aren't supposed to wear armor because they're not supposed to get hit, Lia-baby." Chiho interjected. "You wear light armor so that you can move freely."

"LIGHT armor? If this counts as light armor, I have seen lingerie which counts as frickin' medieval castle. This is leather scraps, dudes. How can you watch trash which has all the girls wearing stripper outfits like this anyway?"

Both of them twitched in unison when the word 'trash' came out of my mouth. I liked that. I'd have to start using that word more often.

What came next was an inexplicable deluge of well-articulated ramblings about how Tenshin was the best series ever, and despite how it may oversexualize women by their outfits, the characters were really good and strong, and there were all these scenes where women were strong, kickass characters, being awesome, even as their boobies were flopping around, and I should be celebrating the show for its realistic portrayal of powerful women instead of focusing on the fact that obviously, it has to pander to fanservice or else it wouldn't sell as well.

Like I was some kind of lunatic. Like somehow, them both frothing at the mouth meant I was the crazy one here. Truly, anime and gaming were a blight upon the world, if it could turn two reasonably normal people like Chiho and AEGIS and turn them into raving idiots trying to squeeze me into...that.

"Look," Chiho said, going for the Hail Mary. "It's not like people can see anything, the dagger hangs off the belt in the front so it blocks line of sight.

"Still not selling me somehow. Here, how's this, I'll go in there and change and show you guys how a thief looks." I picked up the hanger the outfit was dangling off of and stepped into the connected hotel room, closing the door behind me.

Freaking idiots. I threw the pile of belts and leather strips onto a chair while I dug through my bag.

A couple of minutes later, I came back into their room, giving a twirl to show off.

"Isn't this so much cooler?" I asked. My voice came out like a genderless, emotionless, commanding intonation.

"Wow," said Chiho. "I...remember that outfit."

"Isn't that...Black Shark?" asked AEGIS.

I was wearing my slipskin, cloak, cowl, scarf, and mask. Shrouded in charcoal grey, with only the upper half of the plain white mask visible under the hood for contrast.

"Is...that such a good idea?" AEGIS asked. "What if you get recognized?"

"Yeah...how many cam shows did you do in that thing?" Chiho asked.

"Damn it, Chiho, I never did anything like that!" I shouted, enjoying my voice sounding intimidating, but seriously ticked that it didn't sound properly angry at her. "I was lying to you about doing that...kind of thing. I was Black Shark back then, too!"

"Ohh," she said. "That makes a lot of sense. I wondered why you didn't have any other toys."

"...toys?" I asked, but AEGIS cut in before the conversation could go off-rails.

"We know for certain that at least the XPCA has some of your videos. Have you forgotten that you are a wanted terrorist, Lia? And you're just going to walk around in public like that?"

"And you'd rather I walk around in public like that?" I asked, jerking a finger back towards the other room where the little strappy thing lay abandoned.

"That is regular and accepted at places like VGCon. Being a wanted person? Not so much."

"Well, maybe I'm just cosplaying as Black Shark. Ever think of that?"

Both of them looked at me like I'd just grown an extra head but neither responded.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," said AEGIS, pulling at one of her pigtails. "It just...might work, I guess."

"It looks way too good, though," Chiho said.

"What? It's totally inaccurate. This isn't the original scarf I'd been using, I lost that out in the wilderness, and I also had to take off all the bandoliers and pouches and stuff so it could make it on the flight. This is super inauthentic."

For some reason they laughed.

"You've got the right attitude for a cosplayer at least," AEGIS said. "I guess we could make it work."

"Shame about the costume though," said Chiho.

"You want to wear it?" I asked, grinning.

"Ah! No! It wouldn't fit me anyway!" she said, flushing.

"Is that so? Well I don't want your efforts to go to waste." I darted into the other room, keeping an eye on Chiho through the open door.

"It's really okay, Lia. We really just threw it together, right, AEGIS?"

"I spent hours making all those buckles and straps. What are you talking about?"

"I think we'll have to try it!" I said, returning with the skimpy scraps.

"Lia-baby, you're scaring me," she said with a ghastly expression.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

"Oh, it's nothing you guys weren't trying to do to me," I said, feeling a sadistic grin creep across my face as I advanced on her, tiny bikini at the ready.

"At least take off the mask first, you're so creepy!" she shouted.

An hour later, we stormed the gates of VGCon in cosplay. AEGIS was starry-eyed before we even got our badges checked and made it through the front door, and Chiho's embarrassment and shame at my hands seemed to burn off as we entered. She was, ultimately, wearing her warrior armor, but she'd had to fight me for every scrap of it.

I'd worried I'd gone a little far in teasing, punishing Chiho for having such outrageous boobs and trying to get me to wear a damn piece of dental floss for an outfit, and it wasn't exactly fair that she got all the flak just because I couldn't do a thing to AEGIS given her inhuman strength. I was just glad they were having a good time from the looks of it, with no harm done.

I also realized they were right. The girls here were downright stripperiffic but with higher production values. It looked like every booth we passed had a girl squeezed into some ridiculous getup, from fantasy to sci-fi, to anthropomorphization of a video game console. Why a video game console was best represented by a girl in a thong, I had no idea, but nobody else seemed to question it.

I did though. What the hell, man. I get that 90% of this crap was aimed at drooling hormonal idiots like Athan, and thank God he wasn't here, because I'd have to be prying his eyes out of all kinds of crevices, but still. I didn't get why this stuff got a free pass from AEGIS and Chiho.

I felt safe in my slipskin and behind my mask as I followed the two through row after row of exhibits, sat through presentations, played demos.

At one point, someone even recognized me and asked for a photo. He told me he was a big fan of Black Shark too, and showed me a tattoo he had of a creepy snake-pupiled eye framed by the words "THE EYE OF ODIN OPENS // ONLY FOR BLACK SHARK".

I didn't know what to do so I just posed with him, grateful my mask hid my bewilderment. The girls could not stop laughing about it, and I joined them, but was really just worrying about it the whole time.

And as I fretted, I realized AEGIS was too. She was hiding it pretty well, but she never steered Chiho anywhere, just followed along, picked up the same things she did, smiled when she thought we were looking. I'm not sure I would have noticed if not for the extra information my mask was throwing up on my optics...it kept telling me with high degrees of certainty she was lying by microexpressions and contradictions to body language and state.

Knowing she was just faking all her smiling and laughing hurt and made me wonder if this was a stupid plan after all. Here we were, awash in humanity, literally elbow-deep in it, and I think just being around all these people was making her miserable. The opposite of everything I wanted for this trip, of what she wanted for herself.

When we got back to the hotel after dinner, legs sore as hell, and went to our own rooms, I stood in front of the connecting door between ours for a long time, trying to think if I should go in and talk to her or not. I didn't know if I had the strength myself, I was feeling really stressed and tired too, and just wanted to play sick for a day and lay around instead of going back out there with all those nerds.

I really wanted a drink.

No. Bad Lia.

I had an hour of being Black Shark that AEGIS had allotted me. I'd just dip into my work and forget all about it until tomorrow. I'd be fine.

When I looked up, it was midnight already. I'd checked just a few minutes ago, I swore, and it was only ten then, but I had wanted to finish just one more thing.

> hey

The messenger from AEGIS popped up on my screen. I'd been working three hours already. I was so busted.

> knock knock

As I got the second message, the door between our rooms opened. I'd left it unlocked after standing there so long and hadn't even considered she'd come in. She looked at me and squinted, and I realized I was laying on the bed with my mobile in front of me, and I was half-naked, the top half of the slipskin hanging off my waist.

It was great for running around in, but not exactly for lounging in, okay? I'd meant to change earlier but got distracted halfway through. I covered myself up while I threw a sweatshirt on.

"Don't dress up on my account," AEGIS said, sitting in a chair with a sigh.

"Just because we've all seen each other naked doesn't make it less awkward, dude."

"Saw you were working late again. Thought I'd swing by." She squinted at me again, and I wondered if she was glaring at me. If this was a new thing. I was so busted.

"Yeah. About that--"

"Look, Lia, don't worry, I'm not here to bust your chops on it. Today really sucked, I think for both of us."

"No! I had a lot of fun, really!"

"Uh huh. Can you even name all the major consoles out right now?"

"Yeah there's um, Nintendo. And uh. PC gaming."

"Yeah, thought so. Look, you're allowed to not have fun, okay?"

"Coming from the girl who was hiding everything behind a smile all day?"

"Coming from the girl who was hiding everything behind a mask all day?"

Blah. I fell over backwards on the bed. "Okay, what do you want then?"

We sat in silence for a few seconds. I leaned up to peek at her and saw she kept looking at me funny.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" I asked.

"I turned them down. Way down. Human levels of vision. Actually even a little defective."

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't know." She leaned back and slowly thunked her head against the wall. "I don't know what I'm doing. I wish being human came with an instruction manual. Or at least API docs."

"Nobody has an instruction manual on how to be human," I said, sitting up and scooting to the edge of the bed. "Everybody sucks at it. We just do the best we can and get used to it as we go."

"I don't have time to get used to it. I'm seeing Athan in three days."

"And he doesn't have his swans together anymore than you do."

"He's had 19 years to do so."

"He's had less than one year to do so. He's an Exhuman, remember?"

AEGIS just sighed and looked tired. Blah again.

I laid back. Restless. I just wanted a drink, or wanted to work, or something. I felt like I had anxiety clinging to me.

I was surprised when AEGIS fell on her back right next to me, and more surprised when I looked over and saw she'd gotten thin oval glasses from somewhere and was wearing them.

"What's the point in glasses if you can just correct your vision?" I asked.

"I made these awhile back. They're an exact copy of what I wore...back in the holo, down to the prescription."

"And then you set your eyes so they were just wrong enough for those glasses to correct? That's like...vain as hell, if you don't mind my saying."

"I actually do mind."

"But they're just decorative glasses at this point. You could wear clear lenses if you're just doing it for fashion."

"It's not for fashion...it's…" she sighed. "The body I had in the holo, my creator...my mother, she made that body. She gave me these glasses." She took them off and looked at them in the air. "I don't have any of my original memories of back then. This is one of the only things I have from her. And even then, it's just a copy."

I turned back to the ceiling. Blah number three, just accidentally insulted my friend over her dead mom. I was not doing so well this conversation.

"Is this part of becoming more human? Becoming more imperfect?"

"I was hoping it was more along the lines of becoming closer to my mother, but sure. Humans are plenty of both," she said and rolled onto her elbows. "I just feel like I don't know what I'm doing unless I'm hacking something or micromanaging a robot army or optimizing a manufacturing line. What the hell does that say about me?"

"You're…really talented?"

"Yeah, at being a fucking machine. At doing what I'm programmed to do. And yet, I go out there, surrounded by people, seeing all these great games and stuff I've been dying to play and been drooling over on the 'net for weeks, and what? I hate it! I hate it all! What's supposed to be this great human experience, something that ordinary people like Chiho spend tons of money and time just so they have this opportunity, and they're excited, they're happy, they're...taking pictures and making friends and meeting idols."

She lifted her legs into the air, making her dress fall off her legs and revealing the circular robotic markings on her hips and knees.

"And I'm just following Chiho along, wishing I were back in my hotel room so I could have another go at the Florida facility that locked me out, or keep a better eye on my cam-drones. I don't even need to work, there's nothing I have to do, I just want to, all the time. I feel compelled to do all these AI things, and I don't know if it's my programming or my personality telling me to."

"I'm with you there." I sighed and lifted my legs in the air next to hers, just a little longer than hers. A lot less muscular than they used to be, a lot pastier. A lot cleaner. I didn't get out and do anything anymore, I just sat at my holo and worked, or drank myself stupid, and right now I didn't have either of those.

We both flopped our legs back down on the bed. She looked at me guiltily, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of mine.

"Want to do something bad together?" she said in a low, urgent voice.

"I think so."

"Let me grab my mobile from the other room," she said, getting up.

For the next couple hours, we sat back-to-back on my bed, each on our mobiles, hacking, cracking, slicing, social-engineering our way around the 'net. There was no reason to it, no point in what we did, I was just getting into as many bank accounts as I could just to see what was in there, and she was cracking databases of library archives and compiling national data for what books had the largest aggregate overdue fees.

Trashy romance novels won in a landslide, incidentally.

At almost three, I shut my mobile and set it down next to me, AEGIS' back still impossibly warm against mine. I stretched and cracked my neck and knuckles and heard her mobile also snap shut.

"This was fun," I said.

"We're pretty messed up people." She sounded happy saying it, though.

"I like your glasses," I said. "Sorry about making fun of them earlier."

"I just wanted to see the world like everyone else does, maybe figure out what I'm missing."

I leaned my head backwards into the crook between her head and shoulder. "You love Athan, right?"

She stiffened, but I felt her nod.

"That's something computers don't do, you know. No computer in the world does that. There's lots of AI out there that run factories or manages drones or helps people in hacking, but none of them ever love anyone. Don't be so hard on yourself."

A thought occurred to me. "And hey, I'm a human, and I'm just as obsessed and weird as you are. So next time you're feeling out of place and not very human because you feel awkward and like you'd rather be alone, you're insulting me too," I laughed.

She laughed too, and I felt it through my body.

"Three more days," she said.

I nodded minutely. I hadn't really heard, being nestled against her soft skin and warm back, and how late it was and tired I was after being on our feet all day, I was beginning to drift off. I remembered her resting her head against my head and shoulder as well, our cheeks barely touching, and then I remembered waking up next to her with the rays of morning sun filtering through the window shade.

I stirred and realized I'd trapped her there under me all night. She didn't seem to mind.

"Two more days," she whispered.