He was gone. He was gone. He was gone!

He just, calm as anything, with his leg missing, hopped right into the back of that transport, and he was gone. Saga couldn't find the driver, she claimed. Karu chased it for a while, fruitlessly. Lia just wept.

He just left us. Just like that.

I'd been so mad at him, so much the last few days. Now I just felt guilty. Maybe if I'd been more understanding, maybe if I'd been willing to put aside my personal feelings better, he'd still be here.

I had been so mad, and now I just felt so empty.

I don't think he knew how big a role he had in my life. To him, I was just one of the girls he'd met, but to me, I had no memories of anything before he'd woken me up except being alone in the dark. His was the first face I'd ever seen, the first comfort I'd ever been given, the first hope I'd ever been allowed. I put together facts from reading and reviewing my own memories after, and learned I had a life before, but even so, Athan was still the first thing in my life.

And he was gone.

It had been almost an hour and the XPCA were long gone, removing first the wounded, then the dead from the battlefield, and then disappearing in a long convoy like they had come. Karu and Lia were finally letting me give them some medical attention. Saga stood nearby, looking pensive, dried blood caked on her forehead, but she never needed treatment, a wash of her clothes and she'd be good as new.

Lia had a bad sprained ankle a broken wrist, and lots of cuts. She'd fallen while trying to run from Blackett and gone down a hill head-first into some rocks.

Karu had several bullets lodged in her, cuts and abrasions all over, and was peppered with small second- and third-degree burns. She needed access to a regenerator, and with any luck, and if Blackett was a man of his word, her licence was good again and she'd have it. In the meanwhile, I did what I could for her and she was riding high on stims to keep going. They could hold off the shock of the wounds for as long as it took, but her body would ultimately break if she didn't get serious treatment.

We all sat in silence, me working the medical drones, giving Karu some stitches and putting a split on Lia, while they just sat and stared at their wounds. Saga loomed nearby, silent as always.

I got off the luckiest, I guess. I'd followed the plan, stuck to the back behind our soldiers and when I did move forward, Athan protected me. Which I hated, because I could take far more shots with this body than Karu or Lia, and they were the ones hurt instead of me. Maybe if I'd been the one captured instead of Lia, Athan wouldn't be gone.

I sighed. I was delusional. He would have given himself up for any of us, even me. Even if I had a backup copy waiting and built another body to put it in, he still wouldn't abandon me. He was too good for his own good.

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to scream. I wanted to blame everyone else. I wanted to track him down and drag his stupid ass back out here and make him apologize for being so stupid for leaving us, for leaving me.

Mostly, I wanted to apologize to him for letting things end so poorly and for making his life...maybe the last bit of free life he'd ever know...a living hell. I couldn't remember my last words to him, just screaming at him over the comms when I learned he went and gave it all up like we were afraid he might. The last thing he ever heard from me was probably me just swearing at him. Maybe the last thing he would ever hear from me.

I wanted...I wanted to cry. I couldn't convince myself that this wasn't my fault somehow.

I was an AI designed to protect people, and I couldn't even protect the one person who mattered most to me. I was a worthless heap of scrap. Pointless. Valueless. At least the DOGs outside had fought and died to save him, I couldn't even do that properly.

AEGIS, I thought bitterly. A shield that protects nobody.

"He is strong," said Karu, her voice steely and quick, like Athan's had been when he was riding the stims. "He will endure. This is not the end."

"Not the end? He's in the hands of the XPCA," Lia bemoaned. "Whatever they want from him, he's not going to be the same person when he comes out, if he comes out."

I wanted to mention the dozens of records I had on file of autopsies and surgical experiments done on live Exhumans. Genetic experiments. Physiological limits. Stress-testing. How none of them had ever survived. When I had first reviewed their records, I was happy, these were terrible people who had been removed from the world, whose terror could never spread, and they contributed in some small way to our knowledge of Exhumans. Now I wondered how many of them had people who loved them desperately.

"I'm sure they'll be expecting that," Lia said. "And it's not what Athan would want."

She was responding to Saga, who had the irritating habit of speaking in people's minds. Being an AI, I had no mind she could touch. She was always and only a strange mute to me, which was weird, because she had been my first ever friend, a hundred years ago. She must have spoken more back then.

"Who cares what Ashton wants. What Ashton wanted was this. If we adhere solely to the memory of his will, we will do nothing. I agree with Saga, we must strike."

"They are probably pretty weak right now," Lia fretted. "But...and I'm not trying to pull my 'I know Athan best' card here, but if we just kill our way in, he'll absolutely refuse to come with us. We can't kidnap him."

Karu sighed, and even that seemed more curt and precise than usual. "You have a valid point. I am not certain there is much we can do at this point."

"I have a few ideas," Lia said, "but they're slow, we'll need to chip away at it instead of boring right in."

They waited in silence for a moment as Saga presumably replied. I hated that.

"I cannot do anything in my current state except die," Karu said. "I will need to reactivate my standing with the association and seek medical aid immediately, no offense to AEGIS, but your facilities are insufficient for my injuries."

"I know. You're no good to anyone dead, you should leave as soon as you can."

"As soon as we are done with preliminary planning. What I desire least is for the four of us to drift apart in Ashton's absence. That would doom him. I believe we cannot achieve his liberty acting alone. I can exchange contacts with Lia, but...the rest of you are not exactly on the 'net, and I do not see myself making a social visit."

"I can get on the 'net if I need to, there's satellite coverage out here. It's not hard to spoof a relay," I said.

They paused again, and then Lia laughed. "Sure, I can just leave you mine if you'd like. I should be able to get a new one when I get back to the real world, which I'm going to do ASAP, too. Just, uh, let me wipe my browser history."

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

Presumably, Saga could operate a phone, was the gist of it. Not certain why that would be funny.

It annoyed me more than it should have. Everything did. I knew why of course, everything tasted more bitter with a side of self-loathing.

He was still gone.

"If we are decided, here is my information," Karu said, tapping a button on her wrist. Please share it with AEGIS and Saga before you go. If you will excuse me, I have several fatal wounds to recover from."

"I'll see you off," I found myself saying. She looked at me a little surprised, but didn't question. I helped her to the elevator and we spent the short ride to the surface with her leaning on me in silence.

We reached the top and she began programming her flightpath into the armor so that even if she blacked out, she would arrive safely.

"You know," I began, feeling like she was about to leave and I had to say something. She looked at me. I didn't have anything else to say, but was committed now. "I'm sorry. About being such a pill. Especially to Athan, but...also to you."

"I understand. I thank you for expressing your apology." She went back to work.

"I would have done the same thing."

"Then you are only somewhat of a hypocrite," she said with a smile. Sort of a half-grimace, but still a smile.

"I...I feel like I drove him away. I was so awful to him at the end. And now he's gone." I was just blurting out words. Some dam inside me had broken and I was dumping it all over Karu. "I'm worried I'll never see him again, or that he'll realize I was just bad for him. Things can never be the same again, I feel like, and I'm worried. I used to be an important part of his life, but what if he moves on? God, I sound so selfish."

"AEGIS," Karu said with a serious look, and put a blood-covered hand on my sleeveless shoulder. "I am entirely too injured to comfort you, and have a low opinion of you regardless. Your concerns are the same as my concerns, and those of everyone else here. Nobody has any words of comfort which are not hollow."

I knew. My gut twisted even further in guilt. She didn't need this.

"But," she added, as I felt myself wilting from her harsh truth. "If you truly feel remorse at your actions, become righteous. Change yourself, and be how you wish for Ashton to see you. He is strong, he will endure. Endure yourself, and you may yet live to see him again."

She let go of my shoulder and resumed typing on her wrist. "At least, that is my plan. I believe in his strength."

"Thanks," I said. Have faith in him. I said I would do that once, and he and Lia and now Karu had all reminded me to do so. Now, when he was gone, was the time when we needed to believe in him the most, when our faith in him would be tested the hardest. When it would be easiest to fall into depression and give up on him and ourselves.

I frowned. She didn't tell me anything I didn't know, but somehow it still helped to hear that she, who was probably closest to him, had the same worries and doubts as me. It wasn't like I wasn't locked out in the cold and dark, but at least, now we all were. If that was any consolation.

She finished and took a few deep breaths, and then turned to me.

"Goodbye, AEGIS. Ours has been an interesting journey together, but not one I regret taking."

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her in a silent, gentle hug, mindful of her many injuries.

"We'll both be okay, won't we?" I said as much as I asked.

"We will."

"Good luck with everything, Karu. If you ever need anything, please just call." I let go and she took a step back and readied takeoff, but hesitated.

"I must ask...from whence did that come? You are being unexpectedly chummy. Or are the stims affecting my perception?"

"No. I'm just...realizing how easy it is to lose people. Even if they're not my favorite people, I think I should hold onto them. You're a good friend, Karu."

"I continue to be perplexed, but I am not unhappy with this turn. You are a good friend as well, AEGIS." She reached out and locked arms with me and then pulled me in for a quick embrace. "Be well, and remain strong. Hope visits the vigilant."

Without any more mushy words or prolonged farewells, she entered the sky, slowly by her standards, and flew off over the forest.

I sighed. She was a self-righteous man-stealing slut, but she was our self-righteous man-stealing slut. And that counted for something.

I went back to the elevator and waited. A moment later, Lia appeared, foot in a splint, arm in a sling, my robots had finished with her a minute ago and I knew she was coming.

"Heading out too?" I asked.

"Yeah, me and Saga both. Want to come along? We're going to head back to LV and find a place together while we work the Athan angle."

I tried to imagine living in a normal house with Saga and the thought of seeing her face every morning made my blood boil a little.

"No, I think I'll pass," I said. As I said it, I realized I was actually feeling sad about it. I liked Lia a lot, and her leaving was almost as bad as losing Athan. "Uhh, gah."

"There is no way you can be as bad as some of my last roommates. Come on. I'll do your dishes."

"I don't eat."

"I know. Neither does Saga," she said with a laugh.

"No, I...I would love to, but Saga and I have history. She killed my family."

"You were both different people then," Lia offered. "I understand if scars don't heal, but I wouldn't offer to live with both of you if I didn't think we could manage."

"I understand. I will...consider it."

"Well, don't consider too long, we have lease agreements to sign," Lia laughed again. She kept laughing a little longer than usual, and then fell quickly into silence.

She was probably hurting most of any of us, and still putting on a smiling face to try to make us feel better. I felt another pang of guilt at my morose behavior and dumping on Karu. Nobody needed that right now from me, we all were going through the same shit.

We waited while the elevator picked up Saga, who'd been packing the last of Lia's things up while she got stitched up. Or so I gathered from Lia's half of the conversation.

The door opened and Saga had Lia's bag, and refused to hand it over to the wounded girl, despite it probably being the same weight as herself. Lia wouldn't have any of it and the two battled politely for a minute over who got to carry it. Lia eventually won out, and I wondered how much Saga just gave it to her because she also felt bad for her.

"AEGIS," I heard a small, feminine whisper, and had to look around to see who was calling me. "It's me, dummy," said Saga.

"I...didn't know you talked."

"'Course I do. You don't remember all the late nights we spent together talking, but I do." She coughed at the long sentence, and Lia plied her with a bottle of water from her recently-acquired pack. Saga refused it with a gesture.

"Don't drink," she said.

"Aha," I replied. She didn't eat or drink. I wasn't sure where this conversation was going.

"I wanted to tell you, I'm sorry," she said. "Maybe the last time we see each other."

"You're only sorry because it didn't work out like you wanted. You blew up everyone, and then still got trapped under the mountain."

She shook her head. "I never liked betraying your trust. It was just the best plan. Even if it worked, I would be sorry. That's all."

For fuck's…why was everyone here suddenly such a better person than I was. Even the goddamn mother-killer.

Saga began to wander off, her bit finished, and Lia bowed deeply to me.

"AEGIS, it's been a real blast knowing you. I'm not gonna say bye 'cuz I'm sure I'll see you on the 'net all the time. We should hang out and play some games, when we're not working on Athan, yeah?"

"Yeah. Sure, sounds fun."

She smiled and then bounced away on her lame foot, catching up with Saga.

The two slowly made their way towards where the crawler was hidden, up in the northern part of the ruins, where the XPCA wouldn't have run into it, Lia with her pack and sprained ankle, chatting amicably with Saga.

"All right, fine!" I shouted. The two turned to look. "I'll come with. Just so I don't have to clean up this mess on my own." I gestured at the general devastation and hundreds of drones and pits of gore surrounding us. "And someone's got to keep an eye on her," I said, gesturing at Saga.

"Yes. I am very dangerous," Saga agreed.

"And I'll need to be there to help plan to get Athan out."

"We couldn't do it without you," Lia said.

"Then it's settled." I paused for a moment. "How much is a mass fab?"

"I'm sure Black Shark could swing it," Lia said with a smile.

We all walked to the crawler laughing and talking and smiling fragile smiles, but genuine ones. He was gone, but by bringing us together, forcing us to endure our old rivalries and meet new friends, Athan lived on in each of us, in the bonds between each of us.

We had a long road ahead of us, but each of us couldn't be happier with the company we shared along it.