CHAPTER 40: THE END OF A JOURNEY

Apparently, some time during however long it’s been while I’ve been retreated into my own mind, the family actually built a home, Spice designed it. I hear that Sugar was pivotal in its construction. They must have made trips to the dam to get smaller logs from the beavers, quite a number of times. The beavers have apparently worked to unflood several sections of the dam. Also, I apparently handed out some items on several occasions. I even made a new copy of the little lean-to tent, which means I also had to have gone gathering at some point.

I’m told that Lil has caught Mata sneaking off to scale the cliffs and explore the Fire Biome. I don’t know how I would have felt about that while it was happening, I don’t even know how I feel about it now.

Supposedly, once in a while I try to spend a night with the whole family, but by morning, I’m inconsolable again, and spend days alone in my tent, only letting Lil in, and even then, only rarely.

I can’t recall doing any of this. My head hurts, so much, it feels like the rear lobes are going to explode outwards. Finally, finally I return to reality, and I’m conscious of what I’m doing, and I return to this, a feeling like a warning for death.

I find myself spending several days working up the courage to even somehow let my family know that I’ve returned to reality. How does one broach the subject? “Hey fam, thanks for taking care of me for several weeks, or maybe months again, y’know, like the time I almost died, but this time it was because I was scared of one of us.” Ugh, I need to not make light of it. I wouldn’t look down on anyone else who suffered the same fate.

My muscles barely respond to me, I find them constantly stiff, as if neurochemicals like adrenaline, and norepinephrine have been flooded into my system for far too long. Well, they probably have. My body has probably been in fight or flight mode, unending, ever since the events. With my brain on auto pilot at best, there’s little else it could do I suppose.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

I have to take a few days to myself, leaving the pond and the family entirely. I think they’re used to me wandering away, and returning several days later at this point. There’s a deep sense of heartache as I catch up on everyone’s feelings. I’m so saddened to have lost time that we could have been bonding, spending time together, living a happy life, pursuing our goals and dreams. I worry that if I try to return, I’ll just be some distant stranger, trying to force their way into a family where I don’t belong.

There’s my family, going about their lives, working to move on after a harrowing journey, finding their purposes. Teuila is standing apart, far, far from the rest of the family. She’s a lone guardian whose place seems so distant. I’m told she rarely smiles, save with Lil or Lu, but right now she’s not with Lil or Luni.

I steel myself, and hold my breath as I take a step towards Teuila. I take another, and my eyes wet with tears. I take another, and a gulp catches in my throat. I take another, and my pulse races. I take another, and my vision narrows. She notices my approach, and the frown on her face says “I know you’re not ready.” My right arm spasms, I look down and see my legs shaking, and realize I’m wearing Valkyrie equipment. I send it all back to my inventory, replacing it with my leaf leather gear, the outfit with the gashes on the chest from Luna. It feels like my head vibrates up and down as I quake with fear. She’s only a few steps away, but it seems like an insurmountable gulf. I put the danger wraps into my inventory as well. I divest the tattoo, which returns to a needle that seems to perpetually spill ink.

I nervously scamper close to Teuila, then I stand to my full height. Apparently I’ve grown some. I take Teuila’s hand, tentatively, then I shoulder bash her, and begin dragging her towards the pond, my home, to show her the home we share, the life we have together, the way she once wanted to share with me. I sprint, catching her by surprise, and I feel the warmth of her smile as she catches on. The feeling warms my soul, and I look back at her to verify she’s really smiling. While distracted, I trip, and slide face first several dozen feet into the nearest tree. Teuila seems unsure of herself at first, as she barely begins to laugh, but then nervously approaches, consolingly, to check if I’m panicking. I am still slightly panicked, but everything’s going to be okay now. I’m home, I’m finally home.

My voice timidly croaks out, “I love you.”

The smirk on her face as she replies with two simple words is the most precious thing in the world to me. “I know.”