I have to find Lu! I want to kiss Errissa so badly. We need to find the books! Gotta talk to Lu! Our first assault is in a few days, we need to plan it out! I can’t wait to feel Errissa against me again. I’ll be in the vanguard with Lil, Lu, Te, Lucky, and Kinzul, sailing down through the lightning-filled acid-cloudcover of Rayileklia to assault people we want vengeance on in a few days, we need to strategize. Spymasters are sometimes good at strategies right, maybe we could invite Errissa to the meeting so that we could stand together and hold hands and—.
My brain is warring with itself, and losing. I can’t blame it honestly. Between that thing that probably didn’t happen in the tunnels, that I must have hallucinated about Errissa, like every other time I hallucinated the Spymaster, and totally haven’t actually met her, and now world-shattering news, one could be forgiven for being a bit overwhelmed. I probably shouldn’t be trying to gaslight myself into believing I didn’t meet Errissa, especially when I have notes from her in my pockets. It’s easier than having to admit to myself, that because of the whammy, a single passionate kiss was the most mind-blowing experience of my life. Anyway, back on task.
The books are on Rayileklia—. Wait. Book, Brook. The Brook. Autumn Brook. There was one in Autumn Brook. I, ow. I can’t—. Ow. Something. Can’t remember. Something about a book in Autumn Brook. Tome, like this one. I can’t remember how I know there was one. Does this mean it’s forever lost to us? Or do we have to go sift through the ashes, and find out it’s like, an invincible book? I wonder if Errissa would be up for sifting through the ashes with me. Jeebez friggin’ cripes Reggie.
Come on, I mean, at least think about Lu or Te, instead of the strange, curious, full-of-mystique, alluring, lithe, dangerous—, ack. What I mean is, Lu wanted to see you later, and Te has a broken hand you butt. Yeah, that’s true, yes, right. Teuila’s been remarkably patient, and putting on a brave face, but she really shattered the hell out of her hand punching that meteor, and she took on about half a fireball’s worth of burns in order to keep it from being way worse. That was pretty smart of her, abusing Shellcracker’s Iceflame Spark’s elemental half-absorption ability. Mm. My beloved Teuila is so great, in so many ways, so creative, talented, funny, powerful almost literally beyond belief, beautiful in so many ways, and—. Reggie, focus up. Hm? Oh, right, right.
Reggie my friend, I’m pretty sure your brain is broken. Ugh, don’t joke like that. Who said I was joking? Urk. Seriously. Right, anyway. I mentally facepalm, hoping that everyone is still too far away from the library to be able to pick up a telepathic wavelength to be able to ride my thoughts. Oh hell. How close was I to the feasting hall when I ran into Errissa? Gulping, I try not to let the fear and shock show across my face, as I imagine just how awkward it might have been for anyone listening in on my ridiculous brain during our encounter.
Lady Kinzul wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, would she? She’s the one whose telepathic network I gave the most range to, and thus the most likely person to have been in range. Although, if I was out of her range, Lu had snuck off a while prior, so may have been somewhere out and about, lower in the territory. I think I’d feel heartbroken if Luni had had to sit through that, and didn’t contact me telepathically during or after.
Reggie, this level of Fakeworld soap opera television high-school’esque drama has got to stop. I know! I—. Let’s just focus on the task at hand, shall we? Right, where were we? And don’t say anything about a position on Errissa’s body that we’d left off on while admiring her. Urk, right.
Nala offers up, “Schism, you seem incredibly distracted, and I’d like to say, given the urgent nature of what you’d just described to me, that that were understandable, but it seems you’re even distracted from this urgency.”
Crap. Gulping, I blush as I try to mumble an apology, “I was, um, talking with Errissa, erp, I know, I know what you’re going to say. She doesn’t talk, she’s mute, but she still communicates. I just—. I took a lot away from the experience.”
Nala squints, as if somehow able to decipher details I hadn’t even hinted at. She grumps, “I’m uncertain how you came about your utter fascination and obsession with our Spymaster, but either you’re an incredibly convincing liar, or you’re too honest for your own good. I’m not certain which has the greater downfall honestly.”
Still furiously blushing, I grumble, “It’s, glp, complicated. An-koff, anyways. You’re right, this is incredibly urgent, but it really only matters if the five books are collected, and we find their bearers. I think I know where another of the books is, and a feeling of dread creeping over me is beginning to raise suspicions that I know where a third of the tomes is. Hell’s bells.”
My blush fades away as my face droops in sadness and apprehension, “I—. I’m terrified Nala. We sacrificed ourselves, the Shellcracker Adventuring Party, and my hateful brother Mataalii, the six of us all told. It, it seemed permanent. I have no idea if we will ever, ever see our home again, if it even truly exists in this universe, or in an adjacent universe, or anything. The books only being five instead of six is something important, but I don’t understand what that clue is pointing to yet. I only hope I’m wrong with the first guess that comes to my mind.”
Nala’s brow furrows in concern. Her voice softens as she asks, “Friend Reggie? Do you suspect you shall have to give *your* life to these books, once more?”
Gulping, as tears stream down my face, I answer, “Worse, the implications of only five books, I’m afraid the rest of my beloved party will.”
Nala pales, finally understanding why I’m so afraid that there are only five of these terrifying tomes that seem to signify a fate ending in a premature death. She can tell I’d gladly sacrifice my life for the cause, for the world, for my inner circle—. But to go on without them? To have to possibly find and convince my brother Mat to die again? I couldn’t do it. I don’t even know how to contemplate what series of events might lead to that point, let alone what could possibly come after. I wouldn’t retain my sanity. I know that much.
I weep as I drop my elbows to my knees, and my head into my hands. Nala hesitantly approaches, and floats her hand near my shoulder, almost offering the comfort of physical contact. The effort to perform the gesture is a kindness in its own right, for her.
I try not to bemoan my fate as I ramble, “I don’t know how to even look at the future without dread now Nala. I, I was planning, and strategizing, and just enjoying stupid frivolities, despite the embarrassment they were causing me, and, and finally reunited with the people I love most across all the universes, and—. The thought that any one of us might have to live without the others, it’s terrifying. One of us, alone in a war-torn world, in the aftermath of whatever is yet to come. It, it just—. The weight of all three worlds?”
Nala balks and gazes at me curiously. She’s about to ask me to clarify when I answer the obvious question, “Something someone said to me once. Maybe more than once. No, I don’t know what it means, not really. I’m, I’m just very very sorry for being so emotional about this right now. I know you just lost an hour of your life, stolen by one of these books, and the implication that you could have lost more must have been very disconcerting.”
Nala quickly responds, “Quite.”
I nod in acknowledgment, then add, “I don’t even know who should be apprised of these. I don’t know if it’s possibly to use them in other ways, but if there is any possible way to pervert their use from saving the lifeblood of a universe, into its opposite, well—. Can I ask you to only divulge the existence of this book to Kinzul, and my inner circle?”
I explain my request, “I don’t know who might mention it to a third party that might mention it to someone who might someday down the line have passed it on to someone that may know how to pervert the power of the books. I can’t bear the thought of someone possibly slaying you, or even just sneaking past you, to steal such an important artifact.”
Nala grumpily jokes, “I dare say, I’d rather not bear the thought of someone slaying me either.” She then adds, “Chin up, friend Reggie. Schism, I’ll trust your judgment in this, as I hadn’t even known anything had happened without your having informed me. I believe I may have been stuck here until our Lady next visited the library without your intervention. Are you up for more sorting?”
I nod while sniffling, and gulping back mucus. We return wordlessly to our task, keeping a steady rhythm for some time yet, as I continue to work on mastering runes as per usual. Nala begins to outpace me in classification and appending of literature with relevancy scores sometime in the early evening. At that point, she can see that I’m not in any shape to really continue being a help rather than a hindrance, so Nala politely dismisses me.
I still don’t have access to the books, but I trust that when I do, because of Nala’s Latent, they will literally be the most relevant to our needs. It’s time for me to find Lu. I promised her I’d— is that Illy and Teuila? They’re getting along like, what’s the phrase? A house on fire? Teuila’s holding Illy’s right hand with her bandaged, splinted left hand, meaning her left hand isn’t as badly broken any longer. She must have seen Sponge with some volunteers. Oh, and Illy must have been one of them, Illy’s left hand is bandaged as well.
Crap, I told Iylynila that I wanted to straighten things out later, which could mean now, but I was off to see Lu, and my emotional state is in turmoil. I’m a wreck. Also, if I explain why, I’d have to mention the tome in a roundabout way. She is Kinzul’s daughter though, and she’s vastly intelligent, amicable, kind, and more. Should I just go ahead and trust her with the secret? I’ll lead with it.
Approaching the pair as they share tidbits that have them alternating between giggling or heartily chuckling, I wave as I ask, “Illy, this might seem sudden, but would you want to bear a world-shattering secret, if I had to divulge it to you, to have a conversation right now?”
Iylynila blinks, taken aback slightly, and holds her hand up while she responds, “Woah, nice to see you too. I guess I can understand why you’d skip the pleasantries if it were that important. Shucks. Te, I trust you, should I learn this? How bad could it be?”
Teuila blushes and avoids eye contact. Even if she only has implications about which secret it could be, she mutters, “Pretty bad.”
Illy balks at that, seeing Teuila suddenly a bit demure, after whatever time they’d just spent together. Iylynila asks, “Would it help either of you shoulder the load, if I were in on it?”
Teuila and I both respond with a relieved, “Gods yes.”
Te and I share a glance, and can’t help smiling lovingly at each other. Illy, for her part, picks up on the shared glance, and responds, “Alright, lay it on me.”
I start describing our last days on Can’Z’aas, and ask for no interruptions, as even Teuila is curious where I’m going with this, because she hadn’t been paying attention telepathically while I’d been fretting about the book. When I describe how the six of us, Me, Lu, Lil, Lucky, Te, and Mataalii stood in the temple of time, reading the final pages of our books, dying, Illy looks discomforted to say the least. When I tell her that I caught Nala losing time in a nearly identical book here, on Rayileklia, she looks hesitant to learn more. When I tell Iylynila that there are only five in this series of books, she comes to the same conclusion I did, rather quickly.
Illy, with wet eyes, offers, “Oh Schism. That’s going to weigh you down with worry, til the end of your days. I—. I can see why you wouldn’t have been able to talk right now, without sharing it. I won’t say a word to anyone, not even Mother. You can fill her in when you feel the time is right.”
I inhale a ragged, shuddering breath, and Teuila catches on only moments after Illy did, the worst possible conclusion that we might have jumped to. Teuila virtually screams a whispered shout, “No. No! We’re finally back together! One of us? Just one of us?”
My heart catches in my throat as I weep openly once more. Teuila approaches me and begins feebly pounding on my chest with one hand, then the other, as she sobs wildly. I lower Teuila and myself to a seated position against the wall, and Illy stands over us, protectively, as if shielding us from anyone that might pass by. She guards us like an elder sibling would their younger siblings, while giving us time to process our emotions.
Coughing, I manage to croak out, “We could, koff, koff, be wrong. I hope to hell we’re wrong. I’m positive it’s the same type of tome. I obviously would not have put you through this, even the thought of this, if I weren’t sure. I just don’t know all the pieces to the puzzle yet.”
Teuila nods absentmindedly along with me, barely seeming to comprehend my words. Illy offers up, “Te was telling me how miserable she was, after that crapsack Olashax pulled what he did, and left her feeling a mountain of guilt. She said part of the only way she’s getting along, is that she has to fight to focus on the now, that it’s a struggle. I think you kiddos should do that about this too. Worrying until the end, if it is coming for you, will just leave you miserable with whatever time is left.”
I glance up at Illy, who offers me a sympathetic, wet-eyed stare. Sniffling, I nod, and Teuila once again nods along. Teuila makes grabby hands towards Illy, who sits down between Te’s legs, so that Teuila can wrap her arms around the taller woman, and press her face into Illy’s back. Illy pats Teuila comfortingly on her right knee and thigh. I get the sense that, while Teuila might be extremely interested in smooching on Illy, Iylynila sees us as kid siblings, so it’s not going to happen.
Avoiding eye contact with either of them momentarily, I mumble, “Thank you. For everything. For volunteering, with Sponge, for hearing the secret, for promising, and, and for being kind.”
Iylynila flashes me a sad half-smile before responding, “Sure Schism, Tenith, no worries. Hand hurts like a battering-ram, but it’s better than our Tenith operating one-handed possibly forever, if she hadn’t got things set right. Mother wants her to start absorbing dragonforces after the first offensive, so that she can manifest her honoris causa without drawing on Mother’s force. She’ll heal a lot faster after she has one of her own.”
After contemplating for a brief moment, Illy adds, “I was surprised to hear you had one *before* you got an honoris causa. It shouldn’t have been possible. Never heard of a creature that could obtain a dragonforce that wasn’t a dragon, or someone with their honoris causa. Heck, from the way I heard it, you got *two* before you got your honoris causa. Sick in the head old purple, Kozzurth, then our snake, Yisstendahl.”
A lightning bolt strikes my brain, figuratively. I mutter excitedly, “My Latent! Nothing, a void, a black hole, absorbing light, color, similar things! There’s more too, stuff to do with absence filling a void, and, um, crap, it’s hard to explain. I’m closer than ever to figuring this out though!”
Illy flashes me a brighter smile than the previous one, glad for my upswing in mood. She comments, “So, does that mean you’re ready to straighten me out on how many of the Order you’ve already slept with or kissed?”
I wilt as Illy’s gaze turns into one of predatory mischief, and begin blushing so hard that Teuila has to fan the air between us, due to the rapid rise in temperature. Teuila starts to perk up, catching on to Illy’s teasing, and she joins Illy in smirking at me mischievously.
Pouting, I grump, “You’re both soooo bad. I haven’t—. Crap. Okay, crap. Ugh, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t slept with anyone. Fricklefrack. Okay, before you comment, let me explain. The following admittances aren’t implications of anything beyond what I say they are. I’m only being *technical*, about having slept with Nala, Errissa, Lil, Luni, Teuila, Lucky. For the former two, I slept while they were possibly in the same room as me on occasion, looking over me while I rested off a headache. For the latter four, it’s not anything with, like, mating, or stuff.”
The grins on the two gals are far too wide as they draw back into smirks once more, knowing I haven’t completely answered the question yet. I begin to virtually steam from my slightly pointed ear-tips as I can’t help recalling only a few hours ago, when I’d come across Errissa in a hallway much like this one. She’d stood in such a way as to demand my attention, and she accepted my apology. First she kissed me once, as an experiment, seeing if it broke the spell. Then, when she realized that I remained smitten, she let me kiss her, fiercely, and we pawed at each other with —. Dangit Teuila. I can see your eyes go wide. You absolute butt. Yes, I took your advice, I guess.
Illy somehow catches on that something is occurring at the speed of thought as she glances between my glare at Teuila, and Teuila’s changing expression. Iylynila’s grin brightens as she demands, “Dish!”
Teuila begins cackling, but motions for me to answer of my own volition. Since I’d requested to straighten things out, I try to underplay it by implying, “I, uh, technically have kissed, um, let’s see, four, five, six members of the Order if you count one kissing my forehead.”
Illy shakes her head, grinning as she teasingly commands, “Nuh uh, you’ll have to do better than that if you want to clear the air, that’ll just get more imaginations active, running wild with the implications than you want.”
Blushing, and fighting the smile spreading on my face, because I don’t feel good about sharing, I mutter, “Okay, well, again, if you count the forehead one, forehead got a fake kiss from Ixeyla, she was warning me to be nice to Xayla, whom I didn’t do anything to for the record. The only time we even touched, hey, it’s not like that, don’t give me that look. We only briefly held hands while she led me to the larder. Grk, stop with the eyebrows please, yeesh. She led me about like a dog on a leash, it wasn’t even physical contact to her.”
Huffing, I continue, “Right, so obviously I’ve kissed Te and Lu, many, many times, in many, many ways. Lil and I have shared some tender moments, more in an alternate timeline that he doesn’t remember, which is a bit awkward on my part. I kiss Lucky on the skull now every chance I get, now that I recognize that he’s my son. Yes, you can get wide-eyed for that one. I’m fine with that revelation. Let your imagination run wild with how Luni and I have a son with partial inputs from Lil and Te.”
Illy begins tallying on her hands, and sets an evil, devious, malicious grin upon her face when she realizes that there’s at least one more. I begin sweating, and my heart rate ramps up. I fight recalling the event in detail, struggling against the odds as my breathing becomes ragged. I glance down the hallway for an escape route, but Errissa flashes in front of my eyes, and I can’t tell if it’s because my obsessive brain is thinking about her, or if she was walking across a hallway further down.
Iylynila isn’t going to let up, like a schoolyard gossip queen, she’s going to dig for the juiciest bit. I don’t know if she’s prone to sharing them. She promised she wouldn’t share details about something incredibly important to me already, and this is something else that is shaping up to be incredibly important, to at least the obsessed part of my brain.
Trying to slow, or still my breathing, even the slightest bit, to collect my thoughts, I gulp and begin to stammer, “I, I, glp. Came across, Spymaster. Lithe, supple Spymaster, glp, standing in one of these hallways. I had to apologize to her. I came crashing off of my telekinetic ride in front of her, distracted by her beauty as I caught the gaze of her quicksilver eyes. When she helped me up, my muscles still hadn’t recovered enough to properly use my internal lightning on. She, um, picked me up, very, very close, against her torso, lifting me in an embrace and leaning back. Glp. I, I got to apologize. She accepted my apology, mostly, I think. She wanted to see if, glp, if we could break Teuila’s whammy enchantment with, glp, with a kiss.”
Illy gazes excitedly my way and quickly prompts, “Well!?”
Still blushing, I try to avoid recalling the next part. I avoid eye contact, hoping she won’t be able to pick up on the subtle cue that I’m leaving out the last bit, as I answer, “It didn’t work. It was, um, very nice, but it didn’t work.”
No such luck. Iylynila is too astute. She grins evilly and maneuvers to catch my gaze with a devilishly raised eyebrow, and a very knowing smirk. She’s not letting me get out of this one without the last bit. My jaw wags uselessly, wordlessly for a moment as I try to find any way out of this. I feel like I’m betraying Errissa, though I get the feeling she doesn’t really care about things like social standing, or rumors. Hell, she might enjoy that rumors add to her mystique, the way she occasionally lets herself be seen sauntering, sashaying away, swaying her hips and flaunting her—tail.
I try to admit just a fraction more, “We, we kissed again,” but Iylynila digs deeper with her expression, so I relent, “it was friggin’ incredible, mind-blowing, okay? It might be the whammy talking, but I have no way to know any longer. Gods her scales, and her bo—. Nope, no more. Nuh uh. No more. Please don’t tell anyone about this. I’m trusting you with two secrets Illy. You’ll break my heart, and I think Teuila’s too, if you, well, you get it.”
Iylynila frowns and backs away, putting her hands up placatingly before she responds, “Woah, okay, okay. I’ll stop the rumor mill somewhere back around the number bit, and leave the one hanging. You’ll get some whispers, and a bit of imagination, but it won’t be anywhere near as bad as the feasting hall. So, Errissa’s really all that eh? Kinda wondering how I compare now.”
Gulping, I fluster, and my eyes dart about, looking for something to fixate on, when Illy adds, “Teasing ya Schism, just teasing. I think Te would take offense, or at least get jealous if I kissed you first, or really anyone at all.”
I raise an eyebrow, and Illy clarifies, “I’ve avoided it. I like the idea of romance, attraction, affection, whatever. The stories of it, the rumors and juicy tidbits, but, I’m old, not as old as Mother, but still old. I’ve gone all this time without, enough that I’m intimidated by the idea of a me that does partake. Who will I wake up as tomorrow, if I’m suddenly as obsessed with someone as you are with Spymaster? Hah, sorry Schism.”
For a bit, my blush had calmed down, letting my jaw un-tense, but Iylynila had to go and remind me of Errissa, implying how utterly hopeless I am about her. I struggle to keep my mind from racing towards our brief moment of passion. If it has to obsess over her, can it at least be something productive? Like the fact that she left more notes in my pockets? We’ll look at those when we’re not around the gossip queen.
Illy adds, “I’ve of course kissed cheeks and foreheads, and accepted some of the same, but other than sleeping with a wing over a younger, I’ve kept everyone at arm’s length. Te here was too giddy with glee and excitement and all of whatever the hell juice she’s pumped with for me to make her let go of my hand after our date with Sponge, that doesn’t exactly count. Sorry Te, it didn’t mean as much to me as it seemed to mean to you.”
Teuila pouts, but then shrugs, still keeping her arms wrapped around the larger woman’s waist from behind. Te’s content just having someone to glom onto at the moment. Someone kind, intelligent, fun, charming, witty, playful, and a host of other positive qualities, without even commenting on her appearance.
That reminds me how delightful it was actually talking with Errissa. She’s so expressive and emotive with her face, despite it resting so placidly, with only a mild hint of curiosity as she takes in everything around her. She was mirthful, laughing and teasing, and she was kind, and accepting, and forgiving. I would honestly love to simply sit down at a table across from her and converse. Does that mean the whammy is gone? Nope, still think incredibly detailed thoughts about her appearance if I let my mind wander for an instant. I guess it just means that there’s substance to a desire. She’s a person, not an object. I hate that my mind objectifies her, or anyone. At least I can take some solace in the fact that it’s obsessed with someone that I’m honestly honored and delighted to get to know.
Lady Kinzul comments, “I too take solace in that, Schism.”
I wilt, and nearly melt into a puddle from the heat my face puts out. Kinzul was probably in range for that entire inane set of mental theatrics. It’s a bit weird, that Kinzul knows my every inner turmoil, my struggle to be a decent person, and so much more. She can toggle off the passive reception of our psychic connection, and yet I find that more often than not, she has been parsing everything I say if we’re near enough. At least I don’t have to inform her about the tomes, if she heard everything. There’s confirmation in a response from Lady Kinzul, so at least that’s one less awkward, heart-wrenching conversation.
In meatspace, in response to Illy mentioning that the handholding wasn’t as romantically charged for Illy as it was for Teuila, she mumbles almost dejectedly to Iylynila, “So, smooching’s off the table?”
Illy looses a full belly laugh in response, and the onyx orbs of her deep, beautiful eyes shimmer with glints of mischief. Placing her hand over her mouth in faux embarrassment at having laughed, Illy strings Teuila along by teasing, “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Implying a curiosity, Illy adds, “I’m almost curious to experience your Latent, with how outrageously it has seemed to affect Schism. I’d offer you consent to attempt it on me with a short duration, but you apparently don’t know how to control it yet. Too bad.”
Teuila gets excited for most of Iylynila’s obvious ploy of a tease, then gnaws her lip after the let-down. Te grumps, “Gonna master the hell out of this Latent.”
At that, the three of us start chuckling.