Across our mental wavelength, Teuila tries to defend herself against the disappointment she perceives me feeling towards her, “I, I mean, they’re enemies, prisoners, right? Like, like she’s okay, and she wanted a fight, and I didn’t even kill her, and roughing up prisoners is a part of war anyway, right?”
I don’t know whether I’m more shocked at how Teuila is trying to defend herself, disappointed in her logic, her actions, or what emotion I’m trying to parse right now. Responding telepathically, my mental avatar frowns at hers, “Te, we offered them mercy, that’s the same as *rescuing* them, saving them from Terrorzin, adopting them into our friends and family. I—!”
Pausing for only an instant to huff and breathe deeply to collect my thoughts, I continue, “I’m trying to not overreact here, because I know you’re—. Huff, well, I know you miss Lin, and other things have been happening for you, but this was still overboard, okay? I, I love you, I utterly love you always and forever, okay? First and foremost, remember that. Above everything else, know that I love you Te. Look at these two though, alright? Look at how much love they have for each other. They submitted to our—, to my mercy. It’s my responsibility to see that they make it through this war okay. Hurting them hurts me. Do you—.”
Regretting what I said immediately, I think that last bit was a blow struck too low, because Teuila’s telepathic avatar is aghast at the idea of hurting me. If it weren’t for the magical lock I’d only just placed on the prison door at the start of their duel, Te would already be gone. She burst through all three layers of telekinetic barrier I’d had erected in a single instant trying to flee so that none of us could see the tears that started streaming. I’m left reeling, and my nose is bleeding heavily as I topple to my side, no longer helping prop Ahliyui into Ahliyuri’s arms.
Groaning through the immediate intense migraine that shears its way into my brain, I endeavor to pick myself up off the floor. The Spellknight twins look stricken and confused, seeing me suddenly struggling in a shallow modest pool of my own blood. Te’s visage is similar in appearance to theirs, confused and stricken, worried for me, upset at herself, and a host of other expressions that war against one another to take their place upon her face.
I want to make things right with Te immediately, I do, I really do, but I have to salvage this first. Groaning through the pain, I offer, “Please let me apologize on behal—.”
Suddenly Teuila barks out, “No! No. I’m sorry. It’s not my Air’s fault. They shouldn’t have to apologize for me. I’m sorry. I’m, sniff, koff, I’m sorry. I’m always screwing up and hurting people, I—.”
Oh Teuila, my love. As my telepathic grips re-manifest, I lift myself with them, since my muscles are wobbling and weak due to the migraine. Quietly I request, “It might seem unfair, but Ahliyui, Ahliyuri, would you mind please staying down here for at least one more day? I’ll send someone to look in on you if you’d like, or you can have the guards send for Pawn to get either me or Sponge. I’m—. I know Te doesn’t want me to apologize on her behalf, so I’ll apologize for my own part in not welcoming you to our family quickly enough. Please be at ease, I beg of you. Te, Teuila, let’s head to our vault, I haven’t been there for you as much as I should have, and I’m so, so very sorry my love. Excuse us you two. Please forgive me for rushing off.”
Yui isn’t in any condition to stop us, and Yuri is too concerned for his sister to argue as I undo the magical locking spell with my archsorc staff, and usher Teuila out of the prison. The guards look intensely confused and worried about the fact that it sounded like two explosions went off only a few moments ago, but relieved that the two of us are leaving relatively unharmed. I motion to them that things are okay, that they can return to cards if they want, or whatever they’d like to do, and I tell one of them that if the twins want anything, to try to send for Pawn to get me as soon as possible.
Drawing a ragged, half-sobbed breath, I surf myself and Teuila quickly out of the prison towards Mount Verdimenn, as she struggles to keep her emotions at bay, or to come to grips with them. Holding her close, and cooing softly, I whisper, “I’m sorry Te, I’m sorry. I haven’t been considerate enough of you and your feelings, I’m sorry. I know what you’re still struggling with, what you’ll always be facing. I didn’t mean to make you feel the way I did back there. I feel awful about it. I want to make it up to you.”
Sniffling, Te punches me rather roughly in the shoulder, but can’t bring herself to speak for several long minutes as she tries to talk around telepathic sobs. Tears stream freely both in the physical and mental realm, but eventually she’s able to get out, “I hurt you, and *you* want to make it up to *me*? My Airhead, I don’t, I—. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, have tried to justify it like I did. I knew I went overboard, that I hurt someone. I—. I didn’t want to face that. I did it, and I’m going to keep doing it aren’t I? She called me a monster, and she’s right, because so did you.”
Erk! S4!7! I did sort of say that about her, but I meant it as a compliment. I’m such an awful partner. Friggin’ hell. Frick frick frick frick. How do I make this right? I knew Teuila was already struggling with that, that she wouldn’t want to have faced hurting someone. Fuggin’ hell. Frigg fugg fricklefrack gorram mrgrgr. I need help to help Teuila, but Te doesn’t seem to know or be attached to anyone here other than our inner circle. Except maybe Illy, but Illy is hurting too, off on some solo meat hunt. The other members of our inner circle are off fighting some Laotzxhi Citadel, so I can’t get Lil or Lu to help me help Te either. Our inner circle is scattered, except for Lucky I guess. Lucky isn’t a son to Teuila like he is to me and Lu though, not completely. Part of her biology and her transformation powers are still a large portion of what makes Lucky who he is, but I don’t think she feels the same way. Does she?
Answering my unspoken question, through tears, Teuila laments, “Sniff, not really, no. It’s like you’re leaving me behind. We can’t have kids, because we’re not biologic, but you’ve had one with Lu. We aren’t biologic, so we can’t do the nasty, but apparently you’ve done it with Illy, and maybe Prinny, or something, somehow, something to do with that orb she had me dig up that you had me hide. There’s something going on with you guys. You’ve never seemed to want to get married, but you’re marrying Aunty Zool. It hurts. It hurts so bad. I’m so scared. I don’t like admitting being scared, or being jealous. Reggie, My Airhead. Where do I fit? Am I just a monster you have to aim carefully at the bad guys? Keep me sorta sane between fights?”
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Oh my gods that hurts. That hurts so much to have made Teuila feel this way. I break down and we topple from our telekinetic surfing, and end up rolling down a ramp towards the forgeworks. I’ve hurt Teuila so much. I’ve neglected her, and haven’t been there for her when she was already hurting. I clasp Te tightly as I try to take the brunt of the fall, coming to rest at the base of the ramping that’s only one short turn away from the forgeworks. I sob and weep openly while holding my first love.
I don’t know how to make this right. I beg, “Te, Te please tell me how to help, tell me what you need, for a moment don’t worry about anything else, just tell me what you need, anything.”
Stricken, fighting her own tears, Te tries to come up with an answer other than, “I don’t know. I, I. I want to belong to you, with you, to know I have a place, to know I mean something more than just power and fighting. I want to forget how I murdered innocent people because of Olashax. I, urf”
Somewhat surprisingly, Teuila vomits on me. We both stop crying, and are a bit stunned. I don’t know if she’s ever vomited before. Whether she has or hasn’t though, I’m pretty drenched, and feeling a bit sickly myself between the anxiety, the overwhelming emotions, and the sticky feeling of being covered in someone else’s sick. I want to laugh at my own state to maybe lighten the mood, but I’m not sure how it would affect Teuila right now. I just want Teuila to know that she’s the most important being to me in every universe, that I’ll never ever be able to express enough how much I love her, or how deeply in love with her I am.
We’ve spent years, decades, maybe even centuries together in accelerated thinkspace, building and perfecting our emotional bond, but then we died and ended up on Rayileklia. Everything since then has been a chaotic mess. We couldn’t keep our promises to each other, because one crisis after another arose, and she’s just too much of a true hero to let down those that need our protection, or to hold it against me when I do the same.
As I try to begin begging and apologizing again, Teuila interrupts me, “Um, maybe let’s get you cleaned up Airhead, you smell absolutely vile. Eugh. I can’t believe that came out of me.”
I loose a sad half-chuckle as Teuila wrinkles her nose, her adorable, pert, smooth little nose, situated above those perfect lips upon the beautiful face that carries her caring, understanding eyes that convey her loving gaze. Teuila slugs me once playfully in the shoulder, then wears a disgusted expression, nearly gagging when she realizes her fist sunk into wetness of her own sick that’s clinging to my cloak. Yeah, this is pretty gross. Too bad Lu has the soap stone. I need to learn how to enchant an object to carry that prestidigitative legerdemain aspect. Urp, oh gods, yeah, this is really gross. Te’s right. Now that I have a sense of smell again, for absolutely for certain, due to being in RS2 form, the smell is atrocious, vile.
I lift us into the air on a T K Square again to surf downwards into the forgeworks, and much to the dismay of many around me, I toss aside my clothes and hurl myself into the runoff molten slag from one of the forges to essentially bathe in lava for a brief second. Scrubbing up quickly, I hop out, entirely bare, and gather my disturbing smelling clothing, knowing I need to wash them in something other than lava to take care of them. Teuila is blinking in astonishment at my stupidity, or, well, something like that. I can tell how badly she wants to laugh, but she’s buried beneath the weight of so many heavier emotions that humor can’t rise to the fore.
Apparently Yerjhro is getting lectured about safety from Del as she concludes, “And that is exactly the sort of reason that we’ll be building railings around the slag pit, and something you should never do.” She jokingly sarcastically adds, “Thanks for setting a great example for my kid Schism.”
Blushing, I try to apologize, “Sorry Del, I uh, got kinda filthy, you can probably smell it on my clothes. Needed something strong to get clean quick. I’m—. I’m a bit of an idiot that overreacts pretty hard sometimes. I mean, you witnessed my attempt at public speaking, and talking down a—. Well, yeah. Sorry, hi Yerjhro, but um, that sounded pretty official. You two feel like family already? I’m really happy if so.”
Del flashes me a wry grin and a wink as she responds, “Damn right we do Schism, kid’s a natural. I’ll have him drinking with us and talking about his first screwups in no time. He already nearly lost a hand, aint that right son? It feeling okay now sweetie?”
Yerjhro flushes with embarrassment, not used to having a mother, being doted on, or being called sweetie, or having his mistakes advertised to friends or acquaintances. He nods quickly yet shyly to Del as she offers him a tight hug about his shoulders. I do notice that the scales on his dominant palm are charred, and they swell slightly as if the flesh beneath is blistered and bubbled. Smithing is a dangerous profession, but then again, on a world like Rayileklia, most are I suppose. It looks like Del was in the middle of changing out bandages for him.
Teuila is fidgeting nearby, upset at herself for feeling needy in the moment, feeling too shy to request the attention that she wants and needs. I bow and wave towards Del and Yer, quietly begging my leave of them before resuming surfing with Teuila towards Mount Verdimenn. One thing that surprises me to find is a pile of wealth and objects sitting *outside* my vault door, but not wealth from the respawning warrens, nor objects that look remotely familiar. I’m about to express my confusion when Teuila facepalms.
Te offers up, “I forgot, Aunty Zool has a supply chain set up, says the spoils of our victories all go to your vault, that she trusts you to distribute things in fashions that best befit Mount Solace and the Order. Or something like that anyway. It’s why I nabbed the nifty hammer, because it was supposed to come back with us, but no one could lift it. What was that stuff about earlier that you were thinking about me and the hammer?”
Oh, wow, this could take a while. Unlocking the vault door, and ushering her inside, I snag the orb to share some accelerated time with Teuila. I think the orb is cracking ever so slightly each time it gets used. That sucks, there’ll be a finite amount to this accelerated dreamlike space. I’ll try to analyze it at some point, in order to hopefully weave its effects, or ones like them, into our telepathic bond, and the thinkspace contained therein.
Still, within orb-time, I begin recounting to Teuila some of the strange pop-culture references and memories that I have from Fakeworld about a particular cinematic universe, its comic book counterpart, and its Norse mythological origins. Teuila begins to experience a side-effect of the orb that has seemed to overtake me, Illy, and Prinrin each time it had been used. Despite my intention only being to speed along my sharing of knowledge, we of course give in to its effects, and our own impulses. The explanation, and the giving in both certainly provide a distraction from the more difficult emotions we’d been struggling to cope with.