In the hoard-lair of our Order’s previous “The Blue,” our union is going to take place. I have to admit, it’s a breathtaking location. The Blue’s hoard is located in a vast, ancient lair nestled within a mountainous cavern near the base of Mount Solace. The chamber is adorned with shimmering stalactites and the walls glisten with embedded lichens that cast a soft, ethereal glow. Crystalline pools of water reflect the lichen’s light, creating a kaleidoscope of colors dancing across the chamber.
The assembled members of the Order of the Onyx Dawn, dragons, Draconiacs, Fae, humanoid otterfolk, a hunter hound, and who knows what else gather. It’s strange to see so many of their eyes gleaming with anticipation. Kinzul is in her natural draconic form, a colossal figure with scales as dark as obsidian, and she’s standing at the heart of the chamber, emanating an aura of wisdom and authority. Nearby lays the Order’s previous, “The Blue,” Farzhis’s father. Prinrin lay snuggled against the ancient, decrepit form of the previous “The Blue.” He looks so wizened, and aged, far beyond Kinzul’s appearance, though she is older by quite a number of years to my knowledge. I know why he’s so weakened, but it’s a devastating blow to my heart to see Prinrin’s beloved husband in such a state, hammering home what she’d already told me about him.
I even feel more sympathy for Farzhis, though she’d admitted she acted out in a sort of entitled manner. Still, to know that she went through much of her life with her father so weak, and nearly unmoving, I hurt for her. I can see Farzhis’s eyes misting as she listens in on my internal monologue, and she nods my way acknowledging my sympathy. Ixey, Zayzi, and Leezahna surprisingly of all people, have made it, and are standing near the rear of the chamber with Del, Yer, Atter, Shiz, Ahliyui, and Ahliyuri.
Then here’s me, Reggie Shellcracker, clad in nothing but this amazing ensorcelled platinum robe. I find myself approaching Kinzul who sits on her haunches near where Prinrin curls up next to The Blue. Upon my approach, Kinzul's deep voice resonates through the chamber as she delivers some ancient incantation, invoking blessings upon our soon to be cemented bond.
Apparently Miraina, Pawn, worked at record speed to fish out some bonding-ceremony decorations. A tapestry depicting the intertwined symbols of dragon and Hero is unfurled, signifying the merging of our destinies. I didn’t even know I had a symbol, or, well, that the titled Hero had a specific symbol, but there it is. The tapestry is suspended from above, and it’s hovering in mid-air oddly enough. The merging of these symbols is, well, symbolic. Wow, way to go with redundancy Reggie. I facepalm, which earns me quite the number of odd looks. However, most of the assembled individuals have access to my inner narrative monologue, so they know exactly why I facepalmed. The whole thing leads to a smattering of chuckling about the chamber.
Kinzul extends a majestic wing over me, enveloping me in a protective gesture, signifying in no small regard, a commitment to safeguard and empower our union. I, in turn, offer a ceremonial token that Miraina slips me, an emblem of valor and loyalty. Much like sliding a ring on the finger of a bride, I clip it to a scale along the talons of Kinzul’s left foreclaw.
The Shellcrackers are all caught off guard as a chorus of melodious dragon voices fills the chamber. None of us except perhaps Lil could even join in on the song. I don’t think even Lil has learned how to speak Rayileklian Draconic however. A swirl of arcane energy envelops us, and colors cascade around us. The energy settles, creating a resplendent aura that encompasses both of us, and thankfully it includes that odd whirlwind smattering of colors with that base of a creamy green, slashed through with crimson and sapphire, the Shellcracker soul. Finally, the members of the Order loose a subtle hymn, and it feels as if my Honoris Causa swells to the size of Kinzul, matching her in placing a wing across her fore, offering her my protection and loyalty, my power and love. The song’s crescendo solidifies our commitment and cements our shared destiny in the face of challenges yet to come.
It was simultaneously far simpler, and shorter, than I imagined, and yet far more powerful an event than I’d thought I would be participating in. My Honoris Causa nuzzles cheeks with Kinzul’s full form, kissing the base of the horn along the left side of her brow. Kinzul in turn shrinks to meet my Fae form beneath my Honoris Causa, and we adjust sizes to be on equal footing with one another as we embrace to share a passionate kiss. We’re bonded, bound, wed, and it is good. This is good. The dragonsong dies down, and there are mutterings of mixed emotions about the chamber.
The worst though, the worst is a happiness from our previous The Blue, the worst sort of happiness. The kind of acceptance at going into that long night, having lived a life fulfilled, lacking in regret. Wheezing, he calls to Kinzul, “To see you with another Hero, I’d held onto hope. Thank you my Lady. It was worth it. It was all worth it. Goodbye, my beloved Copper, my beloved daughter, my beloved Lady.”
My eyes flash wide as The Blue stops speaking, and breathing, as he settles in to his hoard with one last wheeze. There are several gasps in shock. Many of us rush to his side with tears in our eyes. No, oh no. Prinny, Farzhee, oh gods what you must be feeling. I struggle to sense any sort of life signs within him, and there’s nothing, no aura, no heartbeat, no soul, no electrical energy in his brain. It’s like he was standing at the edge of a room, holding his hand upon the lightswitch of his life, and simply flicked it off as he left, saying a happy goodbye.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
I slump weakly to my knees alongside Prinrin, Kinzul, Farzhis, Te, Lu, Lil, Lucky, Vyela, Kagired, Iylynila, Veril, and several others who’d known our now dearly departed. I hadn’t even met him prior to tonight, but it hurts all the same. I sense the overwhelming sorrow burbling up amongst those who had known him, even though they knew it had been coming for a long, long while. I sense another thing though too, a new weight that drops onto Kinzul’s heart. I won’t speak of it in order to not betray her secrets however. Oh my love. Things never get any easier.
Taking Farzhis slightly to one side, I can hear Kinzul whisper, “Beloved Blue, can you handle absorbing and feasting? Do you understand what will happen if you do?”
Farzhis doesn’t respond for a long while, so Kinzul simply stands with her arms wrapped around the lass, embracing her. I can sense the numbness within Farzhis. She’s been on a journey lately, and I don’t want to see her become hopeless or heartless, lost or unfeeling. I’m proud that she’s a member of the Order, that she fights for what’s right to begin with, but I’d been becoming so very proud of her as a person. She deserves to be able to be her best self, to be happy, to find what’s right for her.
Perhaps somewhat sadly, Farzhis shrugs aside Kinzul’s embrace, and waves us all angrily away. She transforms and digs about behind her father’s corpse, revealing several barrels. One that sloshes, she drinks in its entirety, but two that contain a familiar weedy powder, she ignites, sending a massive cloud of smoke into the room. I know enough to motion everyone to depart that doesn’t want to end up addicted to whatever piping substance Farzhis had been supplying to both her father, and Induul. My neckchain prevents me from suffering the cloud’s effects, but I shoo everyone else out of the chamber for Farzhee’s sake.
I stand near her as she cries her heart out over the burning barrels. She tries not to make note of my presence, then she tries to drum up anger at me for intruding, but in the end she turns to me and resumes her human form in order to sink into my embrace. She wails low and long, until she can only sob and cough. I do my best to keep the area around us clear of the smoke as Farzee continues to cry.
I can see how flush Farzhis is. She got drunk rather quickly by downing an entire fifty gallon barrel of alcohol. There’s a swirl of thoughts within her mind, near the surface, and I wish I could guide her away from the ones that the alcohol happens to be guiding her towards. I don’t want to have to spurn her while she feels so hurt. I wouldn’t take her up on her advances while she was sober, I most certainly won’t take her up on them while she’s vulnerable. She knows I can sense her desires and her motivations, and she becomes frustrated in my embrace, knowing how futile it would be to try to make moves on me to fill the growing hole in her heart. I worry that Veril would become a target whom would likely give in, and she might come to resent when sober, when she seemed to be forming a good, loving friendship there. I know that Induul would certainly oblige her, but I’m not sure if obliging that side of her grief would be helpful or not overall.
In the end, I sit in the smoke for a long while yet with Farzhis. I’d wanted to give my new wife Kinzul my undivided attention, but I can sense that she’s grateful that I’m helping Farzhis grieve. She’s doing much the same for Prinrin. After perhaps an hour of crying in my arms, Farzhis resumes her full draconic form, and crawls to her fathers breast, where she peels off the scales on his chest. I know what this means, but I don’t know if she wants privacy for it or not.
Thankfully, in her few-stop-consonants accent, Farzhis lets me know as she begs, “Stay, please Schism. You guide me right, you protect me. You’ve given me love without asking for sex. Please stay. I can’t do this alone. I wouldn’t do this, couldn’t do this, knowing what it’s going to cost in the long haul. I’m selfish, we both know it. I can only do this if you stay.”
Nodding with tears in my eyes, I advance and lay a hand upon Farzhis’s shoulders as I levitate myself up towards them. I don’t know how much she knows about what she’s taking on. I don’t know if I should warn her, tell her. She admitted she knows it’s going to cost her greatly, but how much will it cost? When will the price be paid? I know that a dragonforce spread out can take months to reclaim.
Farzhis answers my unspoken questions, “Some day in the future, I’ll be in the same state, when da’s dragonforce finally dissipates. Me taking it in, taking him in, means it’s up to me next, whatever he’s been helping hold up. Months, maybe years, and I’ll start weakening, aging faster, stop moving as much. I couldn’t do this, I wouldn’t be this person without you Schism. I’m scared. I’m so scared. Da’s gone. He’s gone forever, and my life will never be the same.”
My own hot tear droplets slip forth, loosed onto Farzhis’s back as she admits what she knows and feels. I try to blink them back and rub them away so as to not add even more emotional burden to her current dilemma. Farzhis takes deep bites out of her father’s chest, and swallows dutifully as she clears her way towards his heart. I almost can’t bear to watch, but I have to be here for her. It’s what she requested. I wouldn’t abandon her, especially not through this. After taking in his heart, Farzhis shrinks to her human form once more, and sits in her father’s now-open chest cavity, her elbows on her knees, and her face in her hands as she weeps.
I float down in alongside her, and sit next to Farzhis, wrapping my right arm around her, stroking her right bicep and shoulder gently. Farzhis swats at me, then paws at me, then tries to kiss me, and she rotates through a myriad of emotions in as many moments. I simply remain stoically at her side, holding her gently. She relents, stopping trying to chase whatever emotion burbles up, and leans towards me in order to bury her face in my right clavicle, crying her heart out. Kissing the crown of her head, I hold Farzhis tenderly, comfortingly, consolingly. I feel awful for never having gotten to know the Order’s previous “The Blue,” but it’s not about me. My inadequacy doesn’t factor in. I’m here for a friend in need, and that’s all that matters in the moment. Everything else can wait.
Farzhis is going to be struggling with grief, and with the burden she’s accepted, and she’s going to need someone frequently for a long while to come, because of this. I don’t know if I will, or even can, be here each time she’s in need, but for now, for this bit of grief, I’m here for her. That’s just how it works. This is grief.