I’ve been meaning to stop by to see Shield and Aegis for more than a brief hello at some point, but can never seem to make enough time for doing so. I’m going to at some point though, I swear. It’s not like I don’t like them or anything, Shield is adorable, and Aegis’s hiss, well, it sends shivers down my spine, literally. Pleasant ones at that. I kind of wonder if Shaylon might enjoy the Naga good-luck wishing—, erm, koff. The raised eyebrows from around me are things I’m not going to answer at the moment for those that have been riding my mental narrative.
Returning to getting on with going towards the strategists-eight, I’m interrupted again. I try to hide my sigh of frustration, because this could be important. The person standing demurely before me is Leezahna. I, I need to somehow repair this relationship so that we can get her to tend the shop, without sabotaging it. Yet more than that, I just need to somehow undo some of the hurt I’d done to the poor lass.
The emerald-tressed lass starts, “Schism, I um, kind of hate you. Wait, let me finish. I was talking to mother, and she doesn’t believe what you said, or, um. It’s hard to explain. She doesn’t agree with you. But I realized that I do. I’m confused. I don’t want to be at odds with Mother. But you did this, so I hate you for it. How do I fix this? I can’t change my agreement, but I—. I can’t do what you did to me, to my mother.”
Fuuuuuu—. Crap. I should have considered the rest of her family were going to likely be as obstinate as she originally was. The one thing I praised her on was her love of her family. Fricklefrack. Crap crap crap crap crap. Argh. I bullied this poor girl something fierce. Well, young woman I guess. She just seems like a little girl to me at this point though. So demure, scared to come to me and admit this, just, argh.
Trying to maintain a sincere yet calm facade, I start, “I’m truly sorry that what I convinced you of put you at odds with your mother. I’m proud of you, and grateful, that you decided to stick with these new convictions, instead of instantly agreeing with her, despite your love for her. You know how hard it was for me to get you to see that social standing isn’t important in times like these, in a place like this. I imagine it will be that hard to convince the rest of your family too. Wait, now let me be the one to finish.”
I try to smile reassuringly at Leezahna, before continuing, “I can come by and, no no no, hold on. I can come by and talk to them once or twice, to explain why you’re important to me, why they’re important to me, because of being important to you. It might not let them see things my way, but maybe they’ll open up to accept you feeling differently, so that you don’t have to either be lying and hiding your feelings from your mother, or butting heads. Would that be something you’d like me to do?”
I feel waves of emotion from Kinzul that wash over me and nearly leave me breathless. I try not to evince my gulping to Leezahna as I stand before her. My Lady’s, my wife’s pride at my compassion is overwhelming. Lucky growls shortly at Leezahna, and I’m about to berate him for it, but he cuts himself off almost immediately. I furrow my brow towards him in my mindscape, as he seems to be saying something like, “ploy,” or “trap.” I sincerely hope he’s wrong, and that Leezahna hasn’t gone back on her turning over a new leaf. It would probably be more believable than deciding to side with her bully over her own mother though. At least my cynical side thinks so.
I open wide my senses, to try to ascertain any duplicity from Leezahna as she decides her answer. Oddly enough, though she hesitates, and seems to put serious thought into it, she sighs and shakes her head before responding, “I, I don’t think it would work. I don’t think they’d give you the time of day, or listen to a word you say, without you being like you were with me. I don’t want that. Please, please don’t do that to Mother. I think, um, I think maybe I need to, to, to, glp. Um. I think I need to move out, show my independence. Then, then maybe if we talk, I mean me and her. Do you think, um, would—. Does that sound like it could—. I—.”
I try to gulp back my feelings. I’m so proud of Leezahna. Holy crap. Fudge my feelings are caught in my throat, and weighing heavy in my chest. To think of a way to work it out on her own, a way that puts her at her most vulnerable, and throws her entire life into disarray, changing her entire—. I’d really like my heart to start beating again, and my feelings to exit my throat. This is painful. My right arm spasms and twitches. Dangit. I was hoping that RS2 would have gotten rid of this with the nerve changes.
Sighing inwardly, I nod slowly at Leezahna with a raised eyebrow. I’m not sure if I should offer her a hug. There’s still the hint of underlying fury as she looks at me, a mild spark of disdain. What’s more though is confusion, a sense of being lost and unsure how to proceed. This is someone that I doubt ever had thought of moving away from her parents or family before. In mount Solace, it’s not so bad, since unlike human society, she doesn’t need to apartment-hunt, or job-hunt, to be able to support herself, but it’s still a massive change for her.
Stutteringly, haltingly, Leezahna asks, “Do, do, um, do you have—. Is there room in, in, glp, the, the other mountain? A room? Um, could I. How do I earn a. I—. I don’t know how to—. I’m sorry. I should figure this out on my own, but, but I’m scared, and, and angry at you, and—.”
I tense up at the idea of putting Leezahna exceedingly close to our most precious projects, and try not to show her how the idea sets me on edge. I need to display the compassion and trust that she deserves if she’s really turning over this leaf. I have to be the me that I want to be, that I want to see. I have to be the me that offers the trust, even if it could truly destroy me if it bites me in the ass and backfires. I just, I can’t be anyone else. I wouldn’t be me. I want everyone to have the chances to seek their own happiness, so long as it doesn’t tread on the happiness of others. I nod slowly at Leezahna, trying to work out how I’m going to help her exactly.
I feel more pride swell from Kinzul’s emotional wavelength, and I nearly topple over from the mixture of emotions between Kinzul, Te, Lu, and Lucky. Farzee looks dubious, while Veril is, eh, being Veril. The goon is trying to figure out if he could date Leezahna if Farzee doesn’t want their friendship to turn into romance. I try not to laugh at the poor young man’s expense.
Taking a deep, slow breath, I attempt to answer Leezahna’s questions, “We, well, we have the space to make a room, if that’s truly what you’d like. Would you prefer to be near books? Near the craftworks? Near lumber or metal or—. I hesitate to ask if you’d like to be near the gems, but I assume that you understand that they’re for everyone, and they have to finish budding before anyone is allowed to harvest them. I’m sorry if it sounds unfairly suspicious of you to not offer that, even if it’s only a few hundred meters difference from other locations. When you were asking about earning, did you mean the room itself, or a living to be able to have things like furniture, and food?’
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After a quick gulp, she mutters, “Um, the latter, and, and clothes, and books, and finery, and—.”
Well, she is still an upper-crust socialite. I can’t expect her to drop all that over night. Still, how does one provide for oneself in a place that’s so egalitarian, in order to distinguish oneself from the others? Well, in Mount Verdimenn, as long as she doesn’t destroy it, the shop system can take care of that. If she’s willing to put in some work. She could buy finer furniture than what’s available for free for everyone from the infinite lumber warrens, through the shop system, if we can get the catalog working, so that we can see whose shop has what. I gnaw on the inside of my cheek, because it still seems almost too good to be true, that she wants to earn her way. I still want to nurture the possibility though, even if I’m being played.
Addressing Leezahna once more, I decide we’re going to be making a detour to Mount Verdimenn after all, “If you would like to come with us, I can show you something magical, something very, very, very important, that must be guarded at all costs, that could help you with what you want. Do you have a hobby? One that might be considered a craft, not simply socializing or reading. Even if you don’t, are you willing to learn one? Whittling, or pottery, or carpentry, or forgeworks, or any number of things that turn resources into goods. Oh, even writing! Or even art or calligraphy! We have near limitless paper and ink and quills.”
Leezahna perks up at the mention of writing, art, and calligraphy. They’re far lower-stress jobs, that rely on creativity more than manual labor, so it makes sense that she’d be more interested in those. I, I think we might actually be getting through to her. I think this might work. Please work. Please don’t backfire. Please don’t destroy the shop system or break the spawning warrens before they’re done budding. My inner circle follows my lead, along with Farzee and Veril as well, since we don’t have any specific time we’re supposed to meet the strategists-eight, as they’ll be at it all day.
Taking a deep breath, I sigh slowly before flashing a warm, loving smile at Leezahna. She furrows her brow only momentarily, slightly feeling that ire for me that boils beneath the surface, but follows her reaction with involuntarily blushing, and averting her gaze. Her gaze checks to see if I’m still smiling once, twice, and on the third time, she allows herself to smile demurely in my direction for the briefest of moments, almost abashedly so. I nod, knowing that I likely cause more negative emotions in her than positive ones.
As we wind our way down towards Mount Verdimenn, I offer up, “Leezahna. What I did hurt me to have done, but I understand that it must have hurt you terribly. I’d like someday to ask for your forgiveness, but I don’t think I’ve earned it yet, so I don’t expect it this soon. Hey Deli, hey Yer, you’re both at it early, I take it good news?”
Deli seems almost excited, and Yerjhro definitely seems excited, as Del responds, “The best Schism! All the warrens, all the budding, overnight, hit maximum. We’ve got volunteers trying to figure out how to mine all those legendary metals and precious gems as we speak. Hero, when I say we’ve never seen the like, I can’t even begin to do it justice. Though—.”
Deli waves me aside momentarily to speak more quietly, privately, “I do suspect it has something to do with The Blue’s passing. I’m not sure how, or why, but I just get that feeling. The timing was too coincidental to actually be a coincidence. Still, everything is going smoothly, hell, going amazingly. We went from resources starting to dwindle, to eyes-bright unsure of how to even utilize it all. I figure start with picks, tools for the volunteers, sieves for gem sorting, and the like. Legendary for the tools that’ll take punishment, mostly adamantite, simple metals for the less demanding things. You have any hard rules, or feedback?”
I can’t help how brightly I smile, and how quickly I alternate between smiling, and wearing a sad frown at the loss of the order’s previous “The Blue.” Still, it’s easy enough to answer, “At this point Deli, no more rules really, except don’t go breaking the shop stall that makes this all possible. Maybe some extra security around it, so that the Queens can afford to take their eyes off of it once in a while. I’m so grateful for your help. Also, I—. What you did for—.”
Deli smiles and claps me on the shoulder, winking as she interrupts me, “Think naught of it. I’m sorry he’d lost his dads, but the kid’s becoming the light of my life Schism. I never, never really even dreamed I’d get the chance. Thank *you* for everything you do Hero. I’ll organize some smiths and other crafters to get some things done that I think I’d heard you or yours mention in passing, and as always, I’m glad to be at your service, whenever you’ve a request or need of me. It seems like you have something pretty important to attend to, so I’ll let you get back to it. Let me know how that goes over our first pint.”
I can’t help smiling at Deli as she slaps me hard on the shoulder while sending me back to my group. I can barely contain my excitement. This is it. This is worldbreaking levels of sustainability. We did it! Ahhh, we’re going to be okay! We’re going to be able to last through sieges, and, and we’re going to have the best equipment, and we’re going to have everyone be the best fed, and, and—. Ahh!
Lu and Te are beaming at me with pride, while Farzee gazes at me in shocked awe. Veril’s a little caught up trying to decide if he should start romancing Leezahna before or after he verifies if Farzee might not end up wanting to take their friendship into romance. He doesn’t want to blow his chances with Farzee, but he also doesn’t want to pass up the chances with Leezahna if his relationship with Farzee isn’t going to be of the romantic variety. I can kind of understand where he’s coming from. He should *probably* learn to mask his emotions and hide his thought processes though. Farzee’s a bit too caught up with everything else going on in her head to react to Veril’s thoughts right now, and too in the middle of grieving to decide one way or another on progressing friendship into romance.
Speaking of, as Farzee begins to cry, having overheard my internal monologue as Deli told me her suspicions about the timing of the projects, I rush to her side and offer her my embrace. She sinks into my embrace and cries on my shoulder and pectoral. Oh sweetheart. Poor Farzee. Cooing soft comforts into her left ear, I rest my nose in her hair upon her scalp. I stroke her hair and back, paying no mind to the—. She’s a very lovely woman, and needs comfort, and I don’t need to make note of every point of contact. Leezahna actually looks at me with confusion, seeing me tenderly addressing the grief of our “The Blue” after I’d been so brutal to her.
Farzee hiccups, and slowly, slowly pulls away from our embrace. She flashes me a mixed smile of gratitude, laced with utmost sadness. Eyeing me questioningly, I nod assent to whatever it is she needs or is thinking about, though I’m pretty sure I know what it is. Yep. Gulping, I attempt to make sure that I convey only the kind of love and support that she needs, despite the sudden jealous flash from Veril as he witnesses Farzee expressing her gratitude.
I draw a deep, slow breath after the kiss, smiling softly and nodding ever-just-so at Farzee. It’s not romantic, it’s simply the only way she knows how to be for now. She’s not chasing me, nor I her, but I do love her all the same. Almost like the love one would have for, well, some relation, some blood family. Almost. Not quite. Regardless, we’re going in a good direction with the friendship we’d been building, and I think she and Veril are going in a good direction as well. Whether or not Veril wants to also possibly pursue romance with Leezahna.