Alright, six runes down, and Teuila’s already breathing rhythmically cuddled up against my lap. Her breathing is punctuated occasionally by soft snores. Ugh my eyes hurt so friggin’ much. I’m pretty sure the steeds will vanish while I’m unconscious, sadly. Though it’s perhaps for the best. Probably better to be alert while traveling with automated steeds. To not remain alert would be sort of like driving a car while unconscious on Fakeworld, Earth. Quite likely to end in disaster.
Alright, so, we’ve done a fair clip as far as carriage travel is concerned. It’s nowhere near as fast as Teuila can move about, but it sure beats mudcamping. Still, a good few days until we reach Noirdivinhoz. Hm? Yeah Bud, another day of just sitting in the carriage while crafting runes. We’ll probably stop the carriage a little earlier today, so that Teuila can forage for supplies while I keep working on this spell. I know, we’ve basically been traveling from dusk til around morning to noon’ish. If we stop a bit after first light, we can gather supplies, wash up, and rest through the day. Yeah, what time we travel sort of doesn’t matter, and first light isn’t really a concept here with the permanently darkened skies.
We're several hours into today's journey when an adorably pitchy voice calls out from beyond the front of the carriage, “Halt travelers! Eep, runaway carriage! Bad horsey, slow down!”
I quickly assume telepathic command of the ghostly steeds so that they don’t trample the poor woman. Wanting to make sure she’s alright, and see who she is, I hop out of the carriage. Teuila’s only half a step behind me. What I see before me sets my jaw hanging slightly agape while the rest of my face contorts in confusion.
At the fore of our procession of ghostly steeds is a short, cherubic woman, possibly a child. Her short stature and cherubic nature seem to belie her true age, as though certain facets of her form are most definitely Fae in nature. She's got mottled turquoise and sea-green skin. She's covered in overly large robes that obviously cover some sort of armor at various points about her body.
The woman stands proudly before us, she stands only for a moment however, as a ghostly translucent hand as large as her props her up with her own lovely hair as a cushion. Her robe is quite fetching, flattering even, as it’s cut to fit in such a way that it exposes the outside of her biceps, forearms, thighs, and a deep neckline. Along the exposed areas of her flesh are glowing teal runes that don’t seem to be painted on, rather they seem to be a part of her skin’s coloration.
The short woman’s adorable face and ears are impish, all soft angles curving to points. There’s an indomitable smile upon her adorably impish face that sets her ruby red eyes closed momentarily. Probably the most remarkable thing about her, is the fact that she’s using a larger version of the ghostly hand spell to play with her head of orange hair. Hair that, by the way, seems to be about twice the volume of the rest of her body. She wraps the ghostly hand in her hair, and sits upon the back of the hand as if it were a chair that happens to be able to amble with its five legs.
The young-seeming woman calls out, “Ah, yes, right, great job with your magical horseys. I would like to hereby request an opportunity to inspect your carriage for clues, and signs of -fowl- play.”
She definitely enunciated fowl as in the birds. My face continues to remain in one contorted state or another as I raise my left eyebrow at her. I toss my glance towards Teuila, not that we need to make eye contact, since we’re bonded telepathically, but it doesn’t hurt to get her opinion in the physical world as well as thinkspace. Teuila just shrugs as she watches the short woman with amusement.
The impish lass pulls out a pouch, almost identical to the magical one we’d never been able to identify. Come to think of it, that pouch is one that I believe we left in Luni’s possession, along with her magical handhold gloves for climbing, and some of the extradimensional bags, and I think possibly a jug that conjures liquids. It was so very long ago that we confronted that weird vine-tentacle creature named Cigarette. I’m fairly certain that’s where we earned several magical items that ended up in Luni’s possession. I’m sure if I had my aura vision spell back then, I’d know more about their enchantments.
In fact, now that I think to do it, I engage my aura vision. With my aura sight, this woman’s pouch is definitely, obviously magical. So is nearly everything else about this woman, enchantingly so. I eye her with cautious curiosity as she heads towards our carriage with all the air of a sleuth as she bends low to scrutinize the ground and steps of our carriage. Her investigation consists of a quick peek to the interior of our carriage’s cabin, without entering it, and then is followed by her dropping low to begin scrabbling about beneath it.
My silent sonar sense tells me she’s reaching into that tiny magical pouch, and withdrawing something feathery. As she reaches into the pouch, I hear the faintest ticking coming from somewhere, likely imperceptible to anyone without hypersensitive hearing. An instant later however, there’s a very angry, squonking honking goose in the woman’s hand. She pops out from under the carriage, and holds the goose, which is apparently a mana construct according to my aura vision, like a firearm aimed towards us. She yells, “Ah hah! I suspected as much! You two are guilty of -fowl- play!”
Teuila doubles over with laughter, and I have to admit, I’m chuckling slightly myself. This is truly not what I expected to encounter on my journey back into Aasimovian territories. I rattle my head as elated humor spreads across my face. I shake my head incredulously as I try to puzzle out the curious woman. She seems absolutely delighted to simply be earning laughter.
As I gaze at the amusing impish woman, I’m at a loss for words. She literally casually tosses the goose aside behind her, letting it loose into the wilderness. At the sight of her casual throw, even I can’t help clutching my belly and laughing. What was, I mean, but why. What was even the point of expending magic summoning a goose? Just for that play on words? Hahah. I continue shaking my head incredulously as my smile grows wider and wider.
The woman approaches me, and eyes me up in a way that somehow says more than a simple glance at a stranger. I know she’s learning more about me than she’s letting on. The amusement is partially a facade, but only partially. She’s genuinely enjoying herself. She offers her hand as she claims, “Hail travelers, I’m T T C T U B E, aka Tiktik Clocktok, Urban Bountyhunter Extraordinaire! Put ‘er there!”
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I go to shake Tiktik’s hand. The incredibly faint ticking resumes as if coming from nowhere, it lasts only a few moments. There’s suddenly a small inflated presence in her hand that is picked up by my silent sonar senses. It’s too late to turn back as she quickly claps our hands tightly together to clasp and shake mine, loosing a terrible pfffffft noise from a conjured whoopee cushion. I laugh as my face reddens with embarrassment at just how ridiculous this Tiktik woman is coming across.
The adorably impish Tiktik teases, “Hey no need to be ashamed, we’re out in the wilds after all, if a tree farts alone in the woods, and no one’s there to hear it, did it even make a sound?”
Wh- what? Hahah. What in the hells is going on? Is this normal on Rayileklia? Are we being shaken down and robbed by a sorcerous jester? I can’t stop laughing as I facepalm, slapping my forehead while continuing to shake my head incredulously. During my facepalming, the ticking resumed yet again momentarily. Hm, one minor annoyance, now my hand appears to be stuck with a bit of a rubbery substance to my forehead.
I can tell that Tiktik is about to cast the same spell that I’m going to cast, as the seemingly telltale nearly inaudible ticking returns for a moment. I’m almost certain that the ticking is her Mnemonic, otherwise known as her unique variation of incantation. I use the cleaning spell that I’ve mastered, quickened just to beat her to the punch in the hopes of throwing her off her game. I take Tiktik’s hand with my now freed hand to shake hers again before she can finish the final rune. There’s a bit of dawning shock on Tiktik’s face that turns into sheer elated joy after only a moment.
She cries out, “I knew I’d find something interesting if I kept following this trail eventually! Coulda swore it would be a dragon or something, based on some clues from a while back, but this is great too! A new sorcerous buddy! What about you pal? I’m hot on the trails of a booknapper from Autumn-Brook, but truth be told, I’m, well, an -urban- bountyhunter.”
Tiktik pauses to let the word urban sink in before continuing, “The wilderness doesn’t really do it for me. Clues are a lot harder to find and follow in the vast wide open. Ya dig? Only, don’t dig, you’ll get all muddy. Though I suppose that wouldn’t bother a fellow prestidigitative sorcerer! Anyway, let it never be said that Tiktik Clocktok doesn’t always catch her man, woman, child, or other-gendered criminal! Erm, at least as long as they stay in one town. Say, you two wouldn’t happen to be heading back towards The Brook, would you?”
Pft, hah, this woman. Hilarious, but also a bit audacious. I think it’s pretty obvious that we’re headed west, though I suppose we could just be following the mountains throughout most of Aasimovia. I'm unsure how Teuila feels about the implication of Tiktik's question as to our arrival destination.
Teuila and I are about to answer when Tiktik interrupts, “So, hey, maybe I can get to know the two of you on the ride back if you’re amenable? I know, I know, I haven’t even asked your names ye-t— Hold the courier pigeon! You’re Reggie and Teuila! Sure as spitballs, super strong athletic looking gal, androgynous pal, the wild red mane on one, the floppy ‘hawk on the other, tons of magic and power between the two of you. Aint no way you could be anybody else. Well, except I suppose any other pair of red haired sorcerous powerful people in which one is androgynous and the other sports an undercut.”
I can’t get a word in edgewise with Tiktik. I actually cough from laughter as I accidentally suck down some of the constant acidic drizzle. Thankfully the neckchain of the ever breathing keeps me from hacking up a lung as water goes down the wrong pipe, but it’s still an irritant coursing down the inside of my esophagus.
Teuila grins as she crosses her arms and adopts one of her more confident, cocky, braggadocious poses. While I’m putting my hands forward placatingly towards Tiktik, waving them slightly in order to ward off any further miraculously speedy chatter, Teuila sizes Tiktik up. Te grins and nudges me telepathically as she twitches her head towards her shoulder ever so slightly, signaling that she’s ready to take the reins.
As Tiktik is about to start again, Teuila barges in to the conversation, “Tiktik Clocktok, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do, and a lot to catch us up on. It’s a good thing it’s going to be about a week yet, eh? Welcome aboard love. Cheers.”
Teuila offers her hand to Tiktik, and like with me, Tiktik’s Mnemonic, that nearly inaudible ticking similar to that of a clock sounds her spellwork, and a whoopee cushion is suddenly conjured into Tiktik’s hand just as she makes contact with Teuila’s. The two snicker at each other, and I’m left rolling my eyes, shaking my head incredulously and chuckling.
I don’t think Tiktik needs any encouragement Teuila. Ya goon. Teuila’s telepathic avatar grins at me like a lunatic, a smile a mile wide to her ears, her eyes closed, and her head swaying towards one shoulder then the other rapidly.
Tiktik uses her magical hand, wrapped in her hair, to basically pick herself up and float a circle around Teuila. While circling Teuila, Tiktik inhales deeply, sniffing repeatedly while nodding and muttering. She then floats my way, and repeats the process around me. I begin to blush as she leans intimately close to sniff along my neck and collarbone. Curiously enough, Tiktik’s nose nearly makes contact with all of the places I took injuries to, during our stay at the Enochian Enclave in the Hidden at the Heart of the Wilds.
Tiktik suddenly, while still close to my face, shouts, “Home! You’re both steeped in it! Shucks, boy howdy, and how do ya do! It’s going to be a treat to get to ride with you two. Straight out of the Fae's Wild. Bet you were just rippin' to get out of the Hidden Heart. Something was definitely urgent, not sure what. Some remorse mixed in there. Not sure what for, sorry nonetheless."
Tiktik adds, "Just look at you both, some sort of Valkyrian, and an Absensorcerer like hasn’t been seen in, well, ever. The two of you are straight out of myth and legend! Or, well, kid’s stories at least! I should know, so am I! Well, from the library they were kept at anyway. Well, more like I spent a lot of time there when the tinkers, the Clocktoks, my fam, got pee ohed by my regularly scheduled pranks.”
Shock dawns across my face as my jaw hangs agape while my eyes flash wide. My mentor, Jarah Bettergrove, a literal celestial being, using every power at his disposal, could not identify or divine my magic. Nor could he identify how to train me in proper application of anything such as incantation, as I had no natural aptitude for it. A literal absence of ability. I was completely incapable of learning bladesinging, incantation, or other verbal or sonic aids such as a Mnemonic or even a Canticum for runecrafting. He did say I had a remarkable affinity for absence, though I never took his meaning, since he always mumbled it, and deflected when I asked about it. I at least have a name for the type of caster I am, unless Tiktik is playing another prank on me. She could have the detect thoughts spell, and simply been reading our recent time in the Hidden at the Heart of the Wilds.
Also, Tiktik’s pranks were regularly scheduled? She does seem to have some predictable behavior beneath her chaotic facade. It’s likely that anyone she meets whom she cares to associate with, she’ll conjure a whoopee cushion as she shakes their hand. Hell, she probably does the fowl play gag with the goose several times a day. I’m stunned mostly. I very much want to speak with Tiktik further, but I’m hoping we can curb her hyperactivity slightly. Just slightly, so that we can have a discussion, rather than simply being the targets of her garrulous chatter, enjoyable as it may be.