From the faint tremors that I sense, I can guess where Teuila is, and what she’s up to. I surf my way telekinetically to her, as quickly as I can, traversing tunnels that I should in no means know the layout of. I’m beyond grateful for my retrocognition, or simple paused time sensory analysis. I like the word retrocognition better. I get a fairly accurate three dimensional map of my surroundings, that I can mentally explore at scale if needbe, or view as a model. Viewing it as a model allows for quicker correction when I realize I interpreted something incorrectly, but luckily I haven’t needed to worry too much about the mistakes I’ve been making. They haven’t altered things significantly enough to cause me to get lost, or miss an ambush, or anything like that.
I sigh as I think about several other mistakes I’ve been making. I took Lucky for granted. I always just sort of thought of him as Laomati’s pet protector. He came with us, he somehow knowingly sacrificed his life on Can’Z’aas, for us, for them, with us. He’s a life that Luni and I worked through a convoluted semi-biological process to create together. Then there’s Luni. How much hurt is she bearing for us? How the hell could I ever make it up to her? The fact that I placed the fate of all the timelines in her hands, in a way that forced her to maintain secrecy, even to her own detriment. Of course I know how badly I failed the chameleonfolk, and the nagas, and by extension, Lil. I don’t see the timeline being able to work out any other way, and somehow, some version of me made that conscious choice, and then forced that responsibility onto Luni, leaving everyone else to suffer the consequences. Friggin’ Hellspit and Fel fires Reggie, stop digging this grave. This one will never get better. Just do your best to be your best for those that remain. Protect and cherish them.
I sigh again, nodding in agreement with myself. I then roll my eyes at myself, because I feel stupid for thinking of myself as a second party to agree with. Snrk, snort. Oy vey. Fractured psyche indeed. Anyway, come on Reggie, Teuila’s almost in range. She needs humor to soften this right now, to let her know that the swirl of emotions is okay to get jumbled, to bring a lighter emotion to the fore.
Upon arrival, I quip, “Hey there good lookin’, are you just redecorating, or are you full on remodeling?”
Teuila huffs a half laugh, rolling her eyes as she responds, “Hi Air. Just, just ventilating some frustrations.”
My face contorts as I try not to laugh before asking, “Uh, please tell me that was wordplay, and you’re not actually trying to dig a hole out to open air with your fists.”
Teuila sticks her tongue out cheekily before nodding. Her response starts almost humorously, dropping to somber explanation, and ending in a sad plea, “Yeah, just venting I guess. I blew up at Lil, and I feel like crap for it. I hate it. I hate that feelings are so hard, that, that you can never know what ones might come up with the other ones. Lil is awesome, he didn’t deserve that. I don’t blame him. I don’t. You told him, right? Please tell me you told him I don’t blame him.”
I rush to Teuila’s side and offer my hands to hold hers as I gaze into her eyes. I nod in response as I explain, “Yes, yes. Definitely, of course Te. I told him, and, well, you know me, I put the blame on myself, but I told them everything. I’m surprised you were venting for so long, the tale took several hours to tell, to evoke the right emotions, and elicit the responses necessary for them to understand the importance of what happened, the importance of *who* happened, who we lost.”
Teuila thumps me once in the chest with the bottom of her right fist, sniffling and trying to calm her breathing as she does so. Te then tugs me close, tightly wrapping her arms around me as she buries her face in my neck. She mutters, “Hate stupid emotions that displace stuff and make irrational calls and hurt the people I love, and, and, and, and just do dumb emotional crap. I love my doofy little dragbutt. He’s gotta know that. Maybe I should come up with a new nickname. Hotty little dragbutt? His new form is pretty cute. I, oh—.”
Teuila blushes furiously, realizing she used the word love. The ell word always sets her off into embarrassment of the highest degrees. Fairly literally, the temperature around her face skyrockets. She thumps me for my thought train that’s accidentally calling her out, and she looses a burbling laugh that’s full of snot and sticky saliva. To be so raw, so intimate, with someone of such depth and beauty—. I don’t feel like I deserve My Wings, but I also hate the mindset of deserving, because it’s only a few steps shy of objectifying and ownershipping. I sigh, as my train of thought is derailed.
Now I’m picturing locomotives, and derailings. Thanks brain. Just what I needed right now. Images of disasters, and anonymous people and their suffering to feel horrible about. Bluh. There are so many times when I’d really like to be able to get a handle on you, and just stop thinking. It generally only works when I’m repeating something, or doing something monotonous.
Teuila mutters, “Dork,” before she prods me firmly in the chest with her right index finger.
I chuckle, and seek out Teuila’s left hand. I’m surprised she used her non dominant hand to stop a friggin’ meteor, but that’s Teuila for ya. Well, I mean, she really just made a massive crater in it, then it landed, and its own mass split it at its weakest point, the center of that crater. Let’s not take the wind out of her sails though, she saved my arse from a friggin’ meteor.
I entreat Teuila, with a modicum of lightheartedness, “Let’s get your hand looked at, and start setting up our telepathic bonds. How about that Te? Please?”
Teuila sniffles and nods, somewhat enthusiastically, while simultaneously somehow also seeming tentative about it. There’s a certain shakiness to the rhythm of the bobbing of her head. I feel that, and accidentally mirror it, empathizing too deeply, too wholly, and I blush, worrying that I might come across as mocking. I needn’t fear though. Te knows I’m not mocking her. Thank spoot for telepathic bonds.
Teuila rubs her eyes, sniffles, shakes her head incredulously, and mutters, “My Airhead. Only you babe, only you.”
I flash her a half smile, and sweep her off her feet with telekinesis, dragging her into my arms. I get to cheat a little, and I fly us back to where Kinzul, Lil, Lucky, and Lu await us. Floating into the den, holding Teuila in a modified princess carry earns several bright, curious glances, but no one comments. A few of us aren’t certain what tone the mood should be set for.
Teuila decides to set the tone, cheekily requesting, “Hey Aunty Zool, you got a doctor in this roost or what? My hand smarts like a mother— uh, a bad hurty thing.”
I snort with laughter, unable to catch myself in time to prevent the laugh. Lil looks mildly put upon, almost taking affront, before he starts giggling, and Kinzul’s expression is a priceless mask of surprise for a moment before a hearty half chuckle escapes her lips. Lucky lifts his head from Luni’s lap at the commotion as more of us join in on the laughter. He looses one short, jovial howl before settling back in. Luni just shakes her head incredulously while smiling, and stroking Lucky’s skull.
I try to rein us in, “Okay, okay, before people start attending to other things, or get caught up in tasks or whatever, while I have everyone here, I want to get our enchantment up and running. Aunty, um, Zool, will, if she’s willing, have a separate backbone telepathy enchantment, such that she can contact other subgroups of telepathic enchantments, when she deems others necessary, or worthy, without her necessarily being in every group’s brains at all times. In part, to give you peace of mind, Lady Kinzul, in part, a selfish desire on my part, to maintain an individual group of our inner circle, off to the side. If, um, if you guys are still cool with something like that, Lil and Lu, and well, Lucky too? I—, I just realized I didn’t ask you if you even wan—.”
Luni virtually shouts her interruption as she pleads, “Yes, of course, yes, please, Reggie, Always. Always and forever. Yes, just yes. Right Lil?”
Lil nods affirmative while confirming, “Yeah, what my Gal-pal said, always buddy. For sure, always and forever.”
I turn to Lucky, waiting for his input, which I know seems insane, but this shapeshifting hunter hound looks me in the eyes and offers me a calm woof. I rest my forehead on his, as I grip the back of his skull while giving his cranium and neck a good firm rub and a pat. I gulp apprehensively, as I look at the gathered individuals, and Kinzul eyes me with fascination. I’m starting to worry a bit that she might formulate some sort of judgment about me depending on the order I enact this in, but there can really only be one order, chronological in order of when I met each of them. I loose a sigh after a shuddered inhalation, and I close my eyes for several moments, trying to center myself.
In preparation for the application of the runes, I’m going to need a lot of surface area. Thankfully, Kinzul’s human form is virtually an amazoness, standing over eight feet tall, possibly closer to ten or so. Her shoulders and back should provide plenty of canvas to apply the runes to. I’d almost think it better for her to be in her dragon form, for even more surface area, but I’m not sure if her scales would take the enchantment, or if I’d have to draw on the flesh beneath her scales. If it’s the latter, then her human form is really the only option. I have to do some quick calculations though. I haven’t used too many S P today, since we were “captured” upon waking up, then our fight with Yisstendahl only cost me a quickened Steely Body, and a non-quickened greatest shadowy evocation. I’m at around a hundred S P used for the day, but the telepathy enchantment—. Actually, scratch that line of thought. It’ll take a few minutes for the various setups anyway, so it’s not worth quickening the base telepathic bond. As long as everyone is patient, I can get away with only using another ninety six S P for that, so I’ll be at about two hundred so far today.
The hidden cost of the permanency enhancement still gets me though, the knowledge imparted by the book it was in didn’t fully explain what that was. I sincerely hope it isn’t dragonforce. I don’t think it would be, but there’s always a chance. It could be something esoteric, like a fraction of wealth on top of the gem dust cost. That would maybe mean stuff is disappearing from my Can’Z’aasian inventory, but I can’t even remember all of what should be in there to verify such a hypothesis. It could be maximum vitality, my actual hit point values from Can’Z’aas, or maximum mana, or maximum S P. I’m slightly leary, due to not knowing, but I’d pay virtually any price that didn’t harm any of my inner circle, to be able to do this for them.
Because I want everyone to have individual channels for Kinzul to be able to reach out to, with us as a group, I’ll be casting the telepathic bond spell more times than I’d normally have to. Normally it links up a few people at once. I’m bending the rules of magic again, but whacha gonna do, eh? Starting with Lil, I bring him into our bond, and I begin casting the telepathic bond onto Luni next, while applying the permanency enhancement via the gem paste as I draw out the required configurations on Lil’s human body.
Lil being first lets Teuila take him aside to a subdivision of our thinkspace, in private, to begin hashing some things out. They each want to apologize to each other, and I can’t fault them that. I yearn to spend an age begging Lil’s forgiveness, as soon as the opportunity arises. Luni entering our telepathic bond suddenly derails my train of thought, and ability to perceive reality as she steals me aside into private thinkspace.
I gasp as we stand amidst a void speckled with distant stars. Luni sets her arms over my shoulders, and rests her forehead against mine. I mean, it should be our telepathic avatars, but it feels like it’s really us. I’m cut off from sensations in meatspace to the point that I’m not actually certain she didn’t teleport us somewhere private.
Lu mutters, “My hero. You came back. I knew you would. You always will. We have so much to catch up on, so many more stories to share, and you have so many feelings to unburden. I can tell you’ve been running yourself ragged, experiencing everything, and more. You’re spending more time living, than any of the rest of the group. But you’re also spending more time dying, too. Stop that. Okay?” She pauses, and rattles her head a moment before murmuring, “Um, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get on your case. That’s not what I’m trying to say. Everything’s so jumbled. I can hardly think straight. I’m so ecstatic you and Te are here, but—.”
I cut off Luni’s admission to finish for her, “But we don’t remember something deeply important to you, and you’re stuck in a lonely world where you’re once again saddled with the responsibility of guiding our thoughts, this time, with a very immediate danger. Worse, the very thing that hurts you deeply, that you want us so badly to remember, is the exact thing you have to prevent us from learning, without it coming naturally.”
Lu nods, sniffling. She then grumps, “I knew you’d get it, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Just please, please don’t die.”
I gulp, caught off guard. It’s a sentiment each of us shares with the others, fairly frequently, but in the moment, it’s like pleading with a bird to never land ever again. Eventually, it’s going to happen, despite any best attempts otherwise. I feel like an arse for my train of thought, because what I should do is simply reassure Lu as best I can, so I do, “I’ll give it my all Luni, My Anchor. Every last bit of me, I’ll always try to bring it back to you.”
Luni nods, and murmurs her acceptance of my consolation. She offers, “It’s maximum mana by the way. One point per. From Can’Z’aas. I don’t know how either.”
I blink, confused at the non sequitor, until I realize Luni is answering a curiosity I’d posed to myself, while we still hadn’t had our full telepathic bond back. The hidden cost of my permanency enhancement. Luni did something to maintain a partial connection to us, to me at least, all the way since Can’Z’aas, despite every other ability that broke. Still, I’m curious how it could possibly require something from Can’Z’aas, and how she knew—, oh, she doesn’t know how she knows. Well, I suppose my mana on Can’Z’aas was at a pretty ridiculous level. I hate giving any of it up, because of how hard it is to start earning back, but for this, it’s worth it.
Luni floods our temporary private thinkspace with more affection than it can handle, shunting us back to meatspace. I stare into Luni’s eyes from such a short distance away, lost in wonder, wishing beyond all flickering hopes that I could give her the peace of remembering what she wishes we could remember on our own. I blush, as I realize my hand has been frozen in place on Lil’s body for a moment, not quite finished with the permanency enhancement. After finishing applying the effect to Lil, I hug him once tightly, which he barely notices enough to return, as he’s deep in a private thinkspace with Teuila.
Moving over to Luni, I slowly begin casting the telepathic bond on Lucky, taking more time than I had with the others. I’m less in a rush in some ways, and also more cautious, more curious in others. Simultaneously, as Luni drops her svelte, fine, smooth, shimmery, sky-blue robes off her shoulders, I gulp while painting the permanency runes upon her, starting with her neck, shoulders, and back.
Sweating and blushing profusely, I try to ignore Kinzul’s observant gaze peering through me, taking apart my actions and motivations with her keen intellect. In my nervousness, my hands begin to shake, as it’s harder to control my internal electrokinesis without absolute focus. My jerky, shuddering motions cause me to begin making mistakes, and I groan, knowing where this is going to lead. Steam begins rising from my ears in the cool cavern den.
Luni smirks, knowing what’s going to need to be done as well. I pout at her, but her mischievous gaze tells me I’ll be receiving no mercy from her, about this. I blame Kinzul for this, one hundred percent, totally and completely. Please Lu, if you’re going to tease me about this, please at least wait until we’re in private. I gulp as my hands move towards the last free spots that could accept the permanency enhancement runes. Luni squeaks and unleashes a quiet meep as the chill of my hands reaches more sensitive regions on her torso, and I’m flustered all the more. She manages to at least not go overboard with her reaction, though she definitely plays into it. I glare daggers at Luni, but she beams her beautiful, innocent smile my way.