I nearly topple over as Lil turns to meet my gaze. Partially since I’m leaning against Lil’s haunches. Still, my gaze widens in shock as I sputter, “What? Lil, I, I, I’m not going to give you permission to kill someone, especially not a family member. That’s --”

Lil interrupts, retorting, “Even if it’s Mat?”

I wanted to tell Lil that such a decision isn’t up to me, but I’m so incredulous that I can barely respond, “Yes, even if it’s Mat.”

Lil prods in what seems almost like a jokingly wheedling voice, “But you got to kill him once already, it’s my turn now, right?”

I shake my head incredulously, “Lil, it broke my heart to have to do that, he was pure evil at the time, out of his mind.”

Lil growls at my answer and stands so that I fall from my position leaning against their haunches. They then stalk away angrily, muttering to themselves. I look to Luni, but she shrugs with a mixture of uncertainty and helplessness. Teuila, for her part, is trying to stifle her snorted laughter at the exchange. I can’t reach any of my inner circle telepathically, at least not with immediacy, so I can’t politely nudge Teuila that her laughter is inappropriate. Lil seems genuinely hurt by this, but it’s not my place to give someone permission to kill someone else. If only Lil could sense my thoughts right now so they could understand where I’m coming from.

Lucky sniffs around in circles and decides to follow Lil as Lil stalks away.

Mataalii actually addresses me directly for the first time in I don’t know how long, “Hey, you, yeah, uh, Reggie. You’re not going to sic your dragon on me are you?”

I frown as my irritation grows, “Mat, Lil isn’t my dragon. They’re their own person, the one that holds my longest friendship. But also of course I’m not going to sic anyone on anyone else. Do none of you understand how much I abhorred the insane amount of killing that I had to do in our world? How, when I took sapient lives, I felt sick, and nearly lost my mind? How much —“

Mat interrupts me, “Didn’t seem like you had much problem killing me.”

My rage forces forth words spat like weapons as I explode with anger, “I hated every moment of each of our confrontations! I fought against fate and nearly tore the timeline asunder to not have to kill you! If it weren’t for Luni, I’d have ruined our chances of saving our family to try everything in my power to bring you back to us! Ever since you disappeared on the Night of All Burn, all I wanted from you was my grumpy brother back! I didn’t care that you didn’t like me, I just wanted you to have the life with your family that you and our family deserved!”

Tears stream unbidden, the water welling up and clouding my vision. Still, before my vision became indiscernible, Mataalii appeared to be taken aback. I stumble blindly towards the nearest wall and slam my fist into it in frustration. Ow, okay, physics are more realistic here, I split the skin on several of my knuckles against the stone. That makes me all the more certain we’ve left Can’Z’aas. Plus, Luni said our world is somehow also that ethereal floating spirit orb over there, with the four smaller orbs lumped onto it. Wait, if that orb is a soul, belonging to the assassin on the floor.

Wait, no, it can’t be. The five souls of origin? One soul with four others lumped onto it? We’re the five souls of origin, the tome-keepers. Lil was the original soul. But that would mean. It would mean. Wait, no, it, no. The four of us lived a life on this world, and died? Our souls combined to make an entirely new world? Ace called their dog Eights a good luck charm, really lucky. Wait, wait, there was a time when there was a clue that I couldn’t quite remember, wrath, hatred, indignation, fury, theft, something malformed, corruption, an alabaster temple. I couldn’t quite place it back then. This isn’t an alabaster temple by any means, but that soul is malformed. It’s malformed because other souls are embedded into it, tacked onto it.

There’s a static that permeates my mind-space, a loud crackle that threatens to drown my thoughts in inescapable discord. Suddenly that crackle becomes clearer and clearer as Luni’s telepathic voice, but even with added clarity, I can’t communicate back to her, or even really understand her. All I can make out is her saying that I’m not ready.

I walk my way back to Luni and slump my chin onto her shoulder so that I can whisper, “Not ready for what?”

Lu shakes her head sadly, “I’m not even sure anymore. There’s more though, layers and levels, things deeper that we can’t address until everyone is ready. Te has to get her, I mean. You also, but I can’t even say. I promised.”

With Luni cutting herself off in the middle of her sentences, I’m just as confused as before, if not more so. I feel another pair of arms wrap around me from behind, Teuila’s. The three of us stand in a quiet embrace for some time before Lil finally stalks over to us.

Lil grumbles, “I can’t believe this, he got killed twice, and I didn’t get to do it either time to pay him back for all the Nagas he hurt and killed. This sucks mega bad, mega mega mega bad. You wouldn’t stop me if he did it to the cats.”

I sputter in disbelief. Did Lil just accuse me of being racist against scalekind, not showing them the same justice I would for others?

I start, “Lil, greatest buddy, I’m not stopping you, I’m just not going to tell you to murder someone in cold blood. Someone who is effectively a different person than the one who did those things. If you’re going to do it, I literally could not stop you, you’re far more powerful than me here. It’s not up to me to give permission, or the order, to kill someone. The only person stopping you, is you. For that restraint, I thank you. I beg your forgiveness for my part in all of it, and I also beg your patience on his behalf.”

Lil snarls back, “If anyone should be begging my forgiveness, it’s him!”

My shoulders slump, defeated. Lil isn’t really wrong there. Lil’s face screws up as they come to a startling revelation it seems.

Lil begins, “Wait, wait maybe you should too. You have your time powers, but you let all that horrible stuff happen. All our chameleon friends, so many Nagas. You couldn’t think of something to at least not have those happen? What kind of friend lets those things happen? Huh!?”

I stumble out of Lu and Te’s embrace, falling to my rear as I back away from Lil who continues to butt my chest with their snout. I’ve become the target of my best and oldest friend’s anger. What’s worse, I can’t fault their logic. Should I try to reset time now? Would it send this consciousness version of me back, across an entire world, through a death and rebirth? Could I stop Mat before that? At what point could I find him? Where in the timeline could I go that would stop those events from happening? Mat still has to have the powers that he does, our family had to vacate Shellcracker Pond, the humans had to be convinced to do so many things. The humans were almost the worst part, and I’m sure that half the reason they agreed to so many demands was because of my part on the Night of All Burn. I basically turned into a Kaiju monstrosity and flash froze dozens, maybe hundreds of square miles of lava, with their help of course, but still.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Another factor about that whole time is how desperately we needed a liaison between humans and critterkin. We wouldn’t have been able to communicate with any of the humans if it weren’t for the help of wind magic, magic that found Bettie only through the sacrifices of Har and Sal. Har and Sal I realize could probably, and would probably, have taken down Mataalii the next time he targeted the Lavaborn Alliance. Their wide array of wind control could have shut down his flight, making his escape less likely, even with his mini teleports.

Wait, why did Szintoc and Brastley’s messages not go through? They were spells cast upon the wind. Lu said that if we tried to bring Sylphie back, that she would be different somehow. Mat stole the censer that summons or revives Sylphie during that raid, and the bell during the raid on the Chameleonfolk village. Did Mat’s messing with Sylphie cause wind magic in that large area to screw up? Is Sylphie back as a vengeful spirit?

As much as I hate to admit it, those things had to have happened. We couldn’t have built the shield without Mat, but there’s no way that the Nagas in the Lavaborn Alliance would have worked with Mat if they had known what he had done. I can’t believe I went months without telling them, it didn’t even occur to me. I was so tired, and in so much pain, casting so many spells all day every day. Maybe Lil is right, maybe I didn’t give the Nagas the justice they deserve. I think that I thought they already knew, or that someone else took care of telling them. Maybe they do already know, and I’m just misremembering things. It’s even harder to remember properly without being able to access my memory logs.

Also, the Black Fangs were about to bomb all of the non Black Fangs areas of the Nagas’ settlement. I have to remember that part. They intended to kill Dehlia and her entire faction.

Lil stops head-butting me in the chest, able to tell that I’m lost in thought. I gaze into Lil’s eyes with an expression that begs forgiveness. However, Lil’s gaze is stern, unforgiving, resolute.

Luni comes to my rescue, saying, “Lil? I love you, but even if you’re going to kill Mat, maybe don’t do it in here, right now? We’re all so worked up, we went through such a big thing.”

Lil huffs but acquiesces as their shoulders sag. Lil and Lucky begin walking towards what should be an exit to the temple cavern. There are no hourglass statues that mark the corridors between rooms, but otherwise the layouts are similar. Mat hangs back, eyeing the corpse. I don’t like the idea that he might benefit from Ace’s death, or body. Suddenly a thought strikes me.

I cry out, unexpectedly even to myself, “If those characters are real, I have to get that dagger to Taylynn! She deserves to know what happened to Aces. Maybe Selunie too. I think all three were in a relationship.”

Luni begins to grumble as I mention returning the dagger to Taylynn. However, I could swear Lu makes a gleeful sound and barely restrains herself from clapping giddily as I finish my statement. Does she like that one of the character’s names has her name in it? As I make certain that I’m the only one with any belongings taken from Ace’s corpse, I finally let myself follow Lil and Lucky. I steal one last look at the corpse. The sphere that had hovered near it, which was growing larger and pulsing harder by the moment, is nowhere to be found. Did that soul just pass on? How will we find it again? How will we use it to get home?

Teuila had become quiet and contemplative in the last few minutes. I think the post-resurrection high must be wearing off for her, or something. She was acting chipper and uninhibited, unrestrained, almost goofy.

Teuila catches up to me and sniffles as she hoarse-whispers, “I can’t feel it, I can’t bring you to my mind-space to show you how I’m feeling. It’s not fair. It’s so much harder without thinkspace.”

Trying to soothe her, I coo, “Oh Te, My Wings. I love you. I promise I’ll try to help you get through this. Either we’ll get back our mindscapes, or we’ll help you express your emotions, something, anything.”

Teuila’s mindscape was a literal ocean of emotions. The waves were all distinct, we learned what each one meant together. She had her tiny island of joy and safety, little more than a sandbar amidst the sea of roiling emotions within her. Exploring her thoughts and feelings with her took us to literally untold depths of her personality. I know her more intimately than anyone else could ever know another person. I think Luni probably thinks the same thing about me, since she has ridden around in my thoughts for several years, and probed even my accelerated thinkspace for decades upon decades.

Suddenly I realize how much Luni must be hurting. Her job, the devotion of her existence for so long, was to help keep my mind on a single track that stayed within the bounds of the primary timeline. Lil and her were the first to develop telepathy and accelerated thinkspace. Now she’s cut off from all of that. She can’t share the sneaky little jokes with her ‘Big Sis’, or the contemplative love of her draconic heart with Lil. She can’t be certain from one moment to the next how I feel about her. She worked so hard to win my love and my notice. I don’t necessarily know why, but she did, and now I can’t offer up my mind to her.

I whisper, “Te, I think Lu has probably been hiding that she feels kind of the same. She must hurt so bad without our thinkspace. One of the last things she did while we were alive was to take Lil into thinkspace as long as she could. Now she might never get another chance, and they had been apart for so long. I think you two need each other right now. But I’m here too.”

Te frowns through most of my whisper, but nods solemnly at the end, adding, “You too boogerboo. I know how hard it is for you to even go a few days or weeks without someone in your brain reassuring you. It’ll be okay though. I think, I think in this world, I never want to leave your side, ever again. And I want you at mine, obviously, dork. But yeah, I’ll go give Lu a hug and drag her butt out into the warm light of day.”

I chuckle at Teuila’s gruffness. It’s no wonder that Linti and her are so enamored of one another. It was either that, or they would despise each other as rivals, because they’re so similar. Linti is rough around the edges, and somewhat puts on a gruff, rough and tumble, tough act. She may or may not be entirely comfortable expressing her emotions, or admitting that she even has them, even to herself. Of the ways Linti deals with intense emotions, if Linti isn’t putting on a tough face, she’s trying to play something cool, and being totally obvious about it. I remember a time that I’m pretty sure I saw her heart thump when I took on a form that she liked more, when she told me she didn’t want to cuddle someone smaller than her. She totally tried to play it off with a ‘oh, that’s apparently a thing you can do, might come in handy if you need to reach a high shelf or something.’ All the while she was so flush and flustered.

Teuila hides the fact that she experiences almost any emotions other than anger and joy, though she wears those on her sleeve. She occasionally tries to admit her more intense feelings, but cannot express them, the words just never fully form. I watch Te as she ambles over to her ‘Little Sis’. Once there, she wraps up Luni in half of a hug, then spins her into a playful hold to noogie her. That’s not quite the sort of distraction I intended to send Lu’s way, but it works I suppose. The two of them whisper something to each other, but the acoustics in here make the sounds echo before they hit my ears, bouncing off of themselves and each other, making the words out to be no more than ‘pssh pssh pssh’.

As I continue exiting the temple, I can sense that they’re following relatively closely behind, and I can vaguely hear the motion that indicates Mataalii is following along behind them. The low roll of thunder that seems to have no end sets a heavy weight on my heart, the sadness that we won’t see Linti for however many years it takes us to find a way back home. A wry laugh escapes me though as an ironic thought crosses my mind. Teuila said she’d drag Lu into the light of day, but as far as I can see, there’s only cloud cover. Endless, dark clouds that sag heavy with rain. The light drizzle that reaches me lands on my exposed skin and stings ever so slightly. It leaves tiny red welts whenever a drop connects. Before I realized that the rain was hurting on contact, my upturned face caught several sprinkles. One droplet that hit my eye caused distressing agony.

Though mild it may be, this land is beset by acid rain.