It’s a bit daunting that I’m sitting in a circle of people who’ve just cried our eyes out, all of whom I’m deeply in love with in some form or another. I think the most daunting is just that I have a wife-to-be, and her daughter is someone that—. I wish I didn’t have Fakeworld memory notions of how stuff’s supposedly supposed to go, in that particular brand of human culture.

Still, Lu, Te, Prinny, Illy, Kinzul, I want to get stronger, because I want our peace to come sooner, so that our lives, our tomorrows, our forevers arrive. I want them to arrive and I want it such that we can enjoy them without worrying about how much more likely portents of death are while we’re at war.

One of the biggest obstacles is the Damnations. I do not have the offenses to realistically reliably take any of them out without crashing them through the Worldstorm. I also can’t get any backup when facing them, because everyone else’s souls can be stolen. Except maybe Teuila’s? Milbert seemed to be having a hard time getting hers. I wonder if that means Lil, Lucky, and Lu also have protected souls?

That brings me back to the idea that we were somehow forged this way, to be the weapons this world needed to take down the manxome foe. But I’m not allowed to try to go down that thought line and figure it out, yet. Maybe after, let’s see, twelve? More full dragonforces? Let’s see, I need what was it, seventeen total? It was five and six and six, right? Or rather, paid one, hinting at Kozzurth’s dragonforce, now I must pay five and five and six, after that. Then something about not even knowing what I’d be after I find my cure, which itself doesn’t even open up as a path until I’ve claimed all those dragonforces.

We’ve got what, one, Kozzurth, two, Yisstendahl, three, Olashax, four, Vanathar, five, Tinth. Yeah, twelve more. I honestly want seven of those to be the Damnations. I need to figure out how to leverage my power though. How to bring a new offense to bear. I need Lady Kinzul, Lu, Te, and Lil’s help. It’s time for Reggie Shellcracker to evolve.

Despite how inappropriate it is, I joke, “Hey Prinny, Illy, want to see something pretty intimate, that might get a little weird?”

Prinrin tries to fight her smile as the obvious curiosity plays across her face. Iylynila is still working through despondency, but looses a quarter of a chuckle. I think for the nonce, she’ll go where Prinny goes. I wish I could take all this pain away. Maybe if I find some semblance of an advantage in my other powers that I haven’t been leveraging, maybe I can break enough of the world, to break the fate of the portent itself.

I beg my Lady, my wife-to-be, “Kinzul, my love, may I please have your aid, your assistance, your Administration to call out to the powers of my world once again? Rather, quite possibly far more than once tonight. There may be many ties to sever to succeed at what I’d like to attempt.”

A furtive smile and a regal head-tilt grants me the assent I desire, so I begin offering helping hands, or telekinetic grips, to aid these people who are so beloved to me, as we stand. I do have to shed a few tears though, because I’ve got an apology to make.

Turning to them, my first loves, I beg forgiveness, “Lu, Te, I might, um, sort of technically be killing cherubic Reggie with what I’m about to do. It’ll be like erasing the form, almost impossible to go back to, except for half-assing it with my natural changeling gift. I don’t know how to apologize, to ask for forgiveness for this. It’s, it’s such a bizarre concept. I worry that I won’t be who you fell in love with anymore. I—. I’ll always love you, no matter who I become. If the same isn’t true in reverse, I’d unders—.”

Teuila snorts a laugh and slaps me on the shoulder before rolling her eyes and interrupting, “You Airhead, my Airhead. You’ve been in y’know with me since I was literally an otter. Sure, Can’Z’aasian Feraform, so pretty humanoid, but still an otter. You’ve known Lu since she was a spherical ball of fur, and probably just didn’t know you were in y’know with her yet back then because you were completely oblivious. Of course you’ll always lurve us, you goober.”

It’s funny that Teuila can talk about me loving her so freely and almost directly, but it makes me so happy. I understand that she’s circumventing her own difficulty of talking about loving, or using the L word from her own perspective. She’s implying the reverse is true, and I desperately needed to hear that from her.

I can’t imagine letting Lu down like this though. If I’m doing this to save the world, to save them, could she—. Luni wraps me up in her arms and shuts my mouth and mind off the best way she knows how. It’s not exactly an answer of, “We’ll be okay after you murder one of your forms,” but I’ll take it. Especially this extremely long, loving kiss, with a body pressed against mine that I’ve been enamored with, and enjoyed affectionately for most of my lives.

I can tell that there’s some context that Prinrin doesn’t understand, but she’s still following everything with rapt attention, and seems to be puzzling out some of that missing context. Based on the emotions I get from her, she seems pretty close and accurate in her assumptions. She’s amazing, and even though she probably already knows that, she still manages to blush all the same at my inner narrative monologue.

Illy. Oh Illy. How can I reach you right now? How do I help you? My eyes wet with tears. Kinzul and I approach her daughter, and I try to mentally tease Iylynila, reminding her about what Prinrin said in the library, just when Kinzul arrived. There’s a deviousness that plays across Lady Kinzul’s mind, as each of us lean to kiss Illy from two different directions. Our cheeks ever so lightly brush as we each kiss Illy on her now dark maroon, perhaps dark-crimson, steaming cheeks. Illy snaps out of her despondent daze to wilt away from us and virtually melt.

Privately, telepathically Illy grumbles to me, “Oh you kinky ass ass, crimson-smurf ass goblin ass munchkin ass mother-effer. I haaaate that I still love you and want stuff. What the hell am I even going to call you? And if you say daddy I swear to hell—.”

Snrk. I snort a laugh, coughing, as I really wish I didn’t have to remind Illy that my telepathic walls are down, so everyone’s hearing my inner monologue, which means they hear me hearing her private communication. Illy goes further beet-red and she starts playfully lightly slapping my left shoulder.

Trying to keep myself from chuckling, I glance at Kinzul though, a bit lost, because it is a bit of an issue. What are people going to call me? *Especially* Illy. Would I just be Spouse of Kinzul? Unhelpfully, Kinzul comments, “I believe I shall leave that up to you and yours to work out, my love,” though thankfully she adds, “I think you might be partial to Zaza or Nini however.”

Huh, like papa or nana, but non-binary, like my lack of gender. Nini is a bit effeminate, and also pretty close to Nilnil, ie: nothing nothing, which works on a whole lot of levels for Reggie Shellcracker. My gender? Nothing. My Latent? Nothing. I’m glad you’re all finding this thought train amusing. Hearing you lot laugh is wonderful. Maybe Nilnil then, Ilylnila?

Continuing to blush furiously, Illy grumps, “That sounds like my name you ass! People are going to think it’s our ship name, and think that we’re, well, together, which, okay, maybe kinda is true, maybe? Is it? Oh you ass why am I even asking!? Gremlin goblin crimson-smurf mother-effer. Hate it. Hate that I love your stupid smiling face. Hate that my own mother is sitting there smirking while I’m thinking about what we— koff.”

The knowing smirk on Kinzul’s face really would set me wilting if I were in Illy’s shoes. I mean, I sort of am, since Kinzul knows exactly what we—, koff. Prinrin’s wide-eyed intake of the juicy details is also rather, um, well honestly I find it adorable as hell as an outside perspective. Or, well, normally I would be an outside perspective and find it adorable, but I’m inside the details at the moment. Teuila and Prinny are starting to giggle in a feedback loop which I know is going to become cackling, and even Luni can’t help loosing a few giggles.

Grumbling, entirely not wanting to, but unable to help herself, Illy asks, “You ass. So whose bed are you even going to be sleeping in tonight?”

Oh no. That is bound to go only bad places as it ties your brain in knots. Oh no, that is the kind of drama that is reserved for situational comedies in Fakeworld. Nope. Nope nope nope. Nuh uh. Reggie don’t think it. Don’t start rationalizing. Don’t you do it. Brain, stay over here. Can’t—. Can’t let them hear rationalization. My face hurts from contorting as I fight my brain while trying to divert my gaze from the incredibly wonderful, amazing, intuitive, charming, loving, kind, beautiful people in the room

I feel like I’m going to have an aneurysm, or a stroke or something. This can’t be healthy. You got yourself into this Reggie. Did I though? Did I really? Um, exhibits a, b, c, d, and e, are standing right here. Don’t you make the joke, don’t you make the joke.

Thankfully, Teuila makes the joke for me, “Or in Luni’s and Aunty Zool’s case, exhibit double ds.”

Snirk. Snort. I can’t help laughing, and thankfully neither can the rest of us. Kinzul’s laugh is more subdued, sedate, almost demure, but I’m not sure whether that’s her regal nature, her being something of the object of the humor, or the emotions she’s still wrangling. I want to comfort her so badly. Is it weird that I want to kiss my wife? Well, wife-to-be. Friggin’ Hellspit and Fel Fires Reggie, your life is weird as hell.

Luni taps the floor with the soapstone, making the ash, soot, and dark spot where the portrait had burned, disappear. I breathe a sigh of relief at that act. I really need to learn how the soapstone enchantment works, so that I can duplicate it. It’s such a nice thing to have. Though, probably not as high a priority as trying to find enough advantages to be able to take down the Damnations, once and for all. I—. I might need support for this. A lot of it.

I gasp a sudden intake of breath, and try not to cry. I feel like I’m murdering a part of me, with what I want Kinzul to help me do. I’ll be cutting ties, severing out that part of myself. One of my favorite parts, because it was the me that fell in love with my gals, the me that they fell in love with, the me that everyone in this room knows. I—. I feel like I need all of them with me, to help me say goodbye. I—. Tears roll down my cheeks as snot drips out my right nostril.

My dear waifish copper-toned pixie-like ‘little old gal’ Prinrin comes to virtually clamber up me to hug me tightly and whisper, “Of course Schism dearie, oh my sweet. Of course I’ll come to say goodbye, and be there for you. My poor Schism sweetie. There’s a knot binding you all up inside in the center of you and a knife upon it, and you’re not even sure where the ends go. You wonderful poor dear. Our lovely Hero, you utter cutie. Cutting out such a part of yourself to grow stronger for the rest of us. There’s no doubt, no doubt at all. Every bit the true Hero. Such sorrow, pain, sadness at the thought, and still doing it anyway for our sakes. Not even hesitating for yourself, but for us Schism sweetie. Noble, that. Is Nilnil just for Illy, or do you want me to call you that too?”

A burbly snorted laugh escapes me as a snot bubble pops at the end, as Prinny reminds me about the fact that Illy was grumbling about not wanting to call me, “daddy.” I definitely don’t want to be called that either. Eugh. Heh. Still, I think it’s just for Illy, maybe Lil, or if somehow, some day, Kinzul and I had any other children, them as well. I’d prefer not to adopt Prinrin, as I’m already having complex enough emotional issues figuring out what to do with my love for someone who’s going to be in that position soon already.

There’s further snorts of laughter and Prinrin giggles as she nuzzles my shoulder from her perch along my right side. This does remind me though about what I said when I implied that the dracorocnix egg was a child that was in part Kinzul’s and mine. Also about the fact that rather recently, I thought about the fact that I, Reggie Shellcracker, a non-biological entity, with non-monogamous love, am getting married and have a child on the way. The entire world is topsy turvy.

Still, I begin casting my psychic senses about for Lil. I can’t do this without him. Figuratively and literally. He’s such a big part of me, and cherubic Reggie and Lil go back to the very beginning, to— well, a few days after. There he is. I don’t want to drag him away, but I need Lil so very badly right now. I lift myself, and consequently Prinrin as well, on a T K Surfboard, and she delights at the motion, while still clinging to me.

My Wings ever so playfully raps my skull, taps my cheek, and bonks my shoulder as she jokingly admonishes me, “Lazy butt. What ever happened to training? Heeee.”

Mm, when Teuila elates her single laugh of glee, my world calms and smoothens. It’s one of our strongest ties together. When Te and Lu get into a Shellcracker Family Slap Fight, it brightens and softens all the more. It’s one of their strongest ties together. As Illy laughs at Te and Lu, I’m heartened further. It’s one of all of our strongest ties together. As Kinzul smiles almost cheerfully at our assorted party, and my thoughts, my heart warms to the point of melting—

Prinrin comments, “You don’t have to go thinking that next thing Schism sweetie. It’s so flattering of you, touching in so many ways, but you needn’t do so. It’d make a little old gal blush. Besides, I could very well steer that next thought astray if I brought up the fun our little club had and will have next Friday now couldn’t I?”

I can’t help it as my brain begins to finish, or was going to finish, that my world is all the more comforting and warm at this beautiful tiny lady Prinrin’s compassionately, quickly-understanding gaze. Instead, Prinny redirects it into my world is all the lustier from my perverted deviant little old lady clutching my arm and torso. The cackle that bursts out from Prinny and Teuila ends up joined by deep, full laughter from Illy, Lu, and even Kinzul.

Our Lady teasingly admonishes Prinrin, “My dearly, dearly beloved old friend, I think I would prefer you not corrupt this particular spouse as you had our previous—.”

Kinzul falls silent suddenly, a mixture of emotions playing across her face. Prinny nods understandingly, and responds, “Yes of course, my Lady, my sweet. Schism isn’t The Platinum, and you needn’t share. Needn’t ever have shared. I’m honored for what was, and of course I can refrain from what will be. Still, I sense it was a joke, but at your command, or request, I’ll take it to heart my Lady.”

Holding up a hand, Kinzul nods before clarifying, “Yes, of course you understand my humor, beloved old friend. Think nothing of it,” and, while smirking deviously, she adds, “corrupt away.”

My poor Illy looks fit to faint from the blush that reaches all the way to her forehead, Teuila resumes cackling while Luni and Prinny give in to a fit of the giggles. My wife-to-be simply smirks deviously at me as I find myself blushing nearly as strongly as Illy. The two of us could probably ignite steel. Thankfully, sweet, wonderful, oblivious Lil arrives, having responded to my telepathic call.