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An Age of Mysterious Memories
B 4 C 94: Non-Goodbyes, Talking About Talking

B 4 C 94: Non-Goodbyes, Talking About Talking

Apparently after seeing me empty my innards, and now my being left with a stunned, confused, slightly saddened expression is enough to inform Flint of something. He bows to Teuila and Dawn, and nods curtly to me. Flint begins to stride away when Teuila calls after him, mildly grumpily, for an explanation.

Flint’s response is, “It would seem that this is goodbye. Good luck in your journey. Windspeed to you all in your quest. May your leaflings and sprouts ever find their way home. Keep those precious to you, your dearlings, close to your heart.”

Tears dance along Teuila’s eyelashes as she demands, “What about tomorrow? We haven’t left yet.”

Flint shakes his head as a twinge of sadness crosses his countenance. Teuila is about to demand further explanation when he stalks swiftly away, back into the Enochian Enclave's tree, likely after Alanea. I’m not sure if I blew our chances for goodbyes, or what. I blink back tears and furiously rub my itchy eyes.

Teuila does much the same, and even Dawn seems slightly upset at the turn of events. I begin to apologize, but Teuila shakes her head at me with a sad half-smile, absolving me. We get no goodbye to Percy the Potted Plant, no goodbye to Alanea Whifflewillow, no goodbye to Flint Darklace. There’s an undercurrent of agony dragging a jagged edge along my heart. I’m half-afraid Lullaby will decide it’s too hard to watch us journey onward, knowing my imminent demise is approaching, and demand to stay without allowing us a goodbye as well. Hm? I know Bud, I know. Thank you for not leaving us. Plus, yes, we need you to reach the Sisters of the Mist.

I fight back a sob as I stagger sadly towards Teuila and Dawn. We meander towards our temporary home, each struggling to come to grips with whatever emotions currently play across our hearts. We haven’t bothered to mingle or meet almost anyone in the heart. Hell, I only know five names, and one angry young dryad. Six names if her Binty is someone’s name. Jarrah Bettergrove, Alanea Whifflewillow, Flint Darklace, Phinarel the dockkeeper, Gerald the pixie nurse that Teuila met. Sure, technically we know the names of their rulers, but we haven’t met them. I basically know only as many Fae who live in the Hidden at the Heart of the Wilds as I’ve slain in that same location. The thought is fairly sickening. Worse, we’ll soon be leaving them to deal with whatever strange force is at play by our mutual enemy that has somehow already infiltrated the Heart.

Wait, strange forces that seem almost conspiratorially difficult to pin down? Secret organizations? Influence laid upon those who are lured outside the safety of the Heart? Something about this situation is nagging at me. It’s almost familiar somehow. I draw a ragged breath and heave a weighty sigh. Wasn’t something sinister going down back in The Brook? Especially with the new theory that our manxome foe and the entity are possibly part of the same creature. Hell in a handbasket, now I wish I could leave copies of me to protect the Heart, and The Brook.

I struggle to find my words, to be able to speak with Teuila and find comfort together with her. I croak, “Te? Dawn? Teuila I. I’m so confused, and scared. I don’t want to be facing another apocalyptic scenario. Especially one where I might not last long enough to help prevent it. I don’t know how to keep carrying on any more. Even Jarrah’s latest help was, it. It was just horrific. No fault of his own. I think it’s my fault that we won’t get to say goodbye to some of our friends, on multiple levels.”

Teuila pauses to turn to me. She lays her arms gently over my shoulders. I’m quite a bit shorter than her in our current forms, so it’s almost awkward. She drops to her knees to be able to rest her forehead on mine. Dawn stands to our side with a hand on each of us, gingerly touching our shoulders. I accidentally gasp a shuddering breath as I continue to fight tears and weary sighs.

Teuila shakes her head slightly, seemingly fighting her own struggle to be able to speak. Finally Te offers, “I know, my Dink, my Airhead. My Air. The very Air that I breathe. I know. You’ve always carried on though. Always. You always get back up. No matter how scared, or how much you’re hurting, or how sad. Lu was right. You have got this, you always have, and you always will. Just keep being you, my precious Air. That’s all you can do. No one can demand more.”

I sink into Teuila’s embrace, clasping her tightly. She removes her left arm from resting on my right shoulder to tilt my chin up with her left index finger. We gaze sadly into each other’s tear-filled sparkling eyes for only a moment. We kiss like it might be our last, earning a warmth that raises in the atmosphere from Dawn’s nearby blushing face.

What? Oh come on Bud, way to ruin the moment you goon. No I’m not going to tell you what she tastes like ya weirdo. I’m sorry if it sucks to have no sense of taste, but that particular kind of information is private. I’ll try to describe food to you at some point or something, okay? Sorry Bud, it, it’s just. I know you’re a unique existence, with so few senses. I don’t want to upset you or drive you away or anything. But I’m serious that certain intimate things are just, well, you just don’t share them, no matter who asks, no matter how close you are with them.

Pft. What? Yes of course that’s one of the things you don’t share. Hahah, I mean, I know you’re you and all, but did you really even have to ask? Plus, ick dude, need I remind you, that I can’t even do that? Blugh, let’s not start this again. Sure, technically I could probably maybe do that if I focused with one form of transformation or another. When did you get so talkative, and why are some of the things you— Oh? Oh. I’m sorry Bud. I hope it didn’t hurt when I did that. I didn’t even think about how it would affect you to send my magic through you and your sister. I’m really sorry. Hm? Really? I guess it could have made you more aware somehow, or us more connected somehow. I, well, me too Bud. Me too. Sniffle. Thanks pal.

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What? Oh come on. Gosh I hope not. On Earth there’s comedies about things like that. Two people of different species that maybe one or the other doesn’t know how the other reproduces, ends up doing that. I’m pretty sure we changelings don’t get one another pregnant just by looking at one another’s true selves or whatever. What? Well, no I can’t be sure. Bud, I’d never forgive myself if I abandoned someone to take care of a child that was partially mine on their own. You’d what? Hah, come on Bud. I mean, okay, sure, the offer is sweet, in a way. I’m sorry though. I have no intention of, ugh, how do you want me to put it? I have no intention of making an heir to have someone to leave you to, for them to inherit you with my blood and possibly strength of bond.

You’re sure? Well, that doesn’t really change the fact. Even if I could remotely possibly do the things involved, I’m dying at the moment, and even when I’m not, I’m stuck in one crazy adventure after another. I could never do that to someone. An immortal child? Err, ageless? I, I dunno man. How the heck should I know how or if they would grow up? I don’t even know how or if changelings age normally. I know I missed my chance with her, it hurts to be reminded Bud. Not just because I’m left in the dark on various information. Yes, I agree, she seemed really special, not just to me.

W-what? That’s honestly really sweet. I agree. I hope so too. You’re not saying this to circle around to anything weird are you? Okay, okay, sorry. But yeah, I agree, I hope she has a long, wonderful, happy life, and finds as much love or as many loves in the world to share her amazing capacity for love and joy with. Hoof, gosh my breathing this last month, it’s always so ragged. Do you think it’s because of the mana residue strangling the inner me? I know you don’t know Bud. Sorry, I was just, I dunno, fishing for your opinion.

You, you what? Haha, you punk. No, I will not describe the taste of Teuila’s lips in trade for your opinion. Haha. Jeeze Bud, you’re incorrigible. No I don’t think that’s the same as encourage-able. Err. I suppose I can admit that, yes, that’s true, they do feel wonderful. I’m sorry you can’t kiss anyone Bud. Pft, hah. You say you’re over it, but the next intimate interaction I have, you’re going to be bugging me about it aren’t you? Hah, I knew it. At least you’re honest.

Sorry, I know. I mean, I think I know. I’ve always been honest with you, and I trust that you’ve always been honest with me. I mean, it’s pretty easy to feel how honest you’ve been with me when you share your curiosities and confusion as to why social things are they way they are. Well I’m not your average social specimen either Bud. Are you sure you w— Ow. Okay okay, enough with the finding plants to hit me with. Hah. Look, you spooked Teuila and Dawn you goof. Yes, I do know that we’ve been kissing for a long time. Okay, sure. Fine, I’ll admit, yes, it is really pleasant, amazing even.

I apologize, “Sorry, it’s, um. That was Bud, err Lullaby, he’s, um, curious about sensations and senses and stuff. He also might be a bit jealous, since he’s living vicariously through me.”

Teuila’s face contorts before she laughs. She jokes, using Aasimovian slang, “Hah. Well shid braddah, all you had to do was ask.” Teuila leans over and kisses Lullaby near where his haft meets his blade.

Lull, Bud, I swear if you make one pervy comment about shaft, I’m stuffing you in a sock and throwing you in a hyperdimensional haversack. You what? Oh. Yeah. She really is the best. I agree. Teuila finally resumes her full height, and we finish the short trek to our treepartment. Which is basically only a few steps away. Gods I’m such a dork. I probably could have waited a few seconds or a few feet before pouting at Teuila for comfort.

Yeah yeah, yuck it up spudball. Yuck it up? Well, I think on Earth it basically means to laugh, but yeah, it does kind of sound like throwing up. Sorry. I agree, it’s sort of infuriating to have these mysterious memories of a world that doesn’t exist, and to have slang from it. Not infuriating to you? I’m sorry, I can’t parse that feeling word thingy. I guess I misinterpreted. Sorry Bud. Anyway pal, I’m going to get undressed and changed and stuff. Are you okay when I put you next to the egg in the pouch? Really? I’m glad. Sorry I didn’t ask for your consent and stuff first.

I know, I kind of forget to think of you and treat you like a person sometimes. I’ll try to be better. It’s a unique experience being bonded to you. Really? Well how many have you h—? Wow. Wait. What’s the earliest year you remember? The zero zeroes? Of which cen—? Woah. In all that time, really? I’m honored you think I’m the best so far Bud. Hm? No one else talked to you this much, or even seemed to hear you? If they talked to you, it was only them one-sided rambling by the sounds of what you’re describing. Yeah, some people just sort of talk to themselves, or a nearby object to sort their thoughts.

Huh, still, I wonder if our more communicative bond is because I’m Can’Z’aasian, or changeling, or that I’ve had telepathic bonds, or that I’m used to unusual senses, or what out of any number of factors. I mean, Dirge seemed to be able to talk to Sindred. She was? Huh. I’m sorry that she lorded that over you. Also, well, sorry again that I sort of killed her. I’m kind of emotionally drained and sleepy Bud. I hope you don’t feel insulted if I respond less. Do you have any sort of resting mode where you go kind of unresponsive? Not intentionally? I mean, sleep is kind of unintentional too, we—. Oh. Sapped so hard that you basically can’t function until the land recharges you sort of. Not exactly the same as sleeping, no. Kind of like blacking out though. Please let me know if I get close to causing you to do that so I can avoid it. It sounds awful. Yeah, me too. Thanks Bud. Nighty night.

I crawl into bed with Teuila and Dawn, the two snuggle each other as intimately as I’ve ever seen them. I’m glad they have each other. Hopefully we can save Dawn, then Teuila and her can continue to journey together until they meet up with Lil and Lu and Lucky. Maybe Dawn will become the new Reggie of the group in a way. Though I’m smaller, I act as Teuila’s big spoon while she and Dawn face each other to cuddle closely.