Prinny, Illy, Kinzul and I stand in an awkward embrace for a very long while, our bonds with one another each strong in different ways. I can’t even fathom what to do other than soaking in this love right now, this bond. Sighing slowly, I try to take stock of our situation.
I suppose we could get Prinny her shirt, her blush each time I make note of it is quite adorable, but I feel like a jerk for noticing it. I realize my telepathic and telekinetic powers must be pretty much back to normal, and, testing it out by bringing Prinrin’s shirt to her, it seems so. A nice three or so hours of, ahem, relaxing reading was apparently about as good as the nap I’d wanted.
Still, I’m so utterly confused. This hardly seems real. Why both so suddenly, but also two days from now? Kinzul had seemed as if she’d come to tease us, to simply have a bit of fun at our expense. Then the dam broke, her walls came down and all the emotions came flooding out. It’s as if something reminded her of something, triggered something for her that just shattered all her internal barriers.
Seeming worried, knowing Kinzul will overhear, Luni’s telepathic avatar gulps and hesitantly pleads, “Reggie? There’s, there’s something you’ve gotta see. Kinzul didn’t want Lil to see it. Can you, um, head to, or um, meet me by the, the hall, from the other night.”
Based on Luni’s tone, the fact that her avatar’s body language indicates she wants us to head towards Aymestu’s art room, and what she was commenting on, my stomach flops with the assumptions I make. There’s a portent, and it involves me, and Kinzul at an unspecified date. I know the last dated one was of the first offensive. The only one I could think of that Kinzul wouldn’t want Lil to see, is one of me at her corpse.
Luni’s avatar’s left eye flies wide and she looks stunned before she asks, “But, how di—? Yes. More or less.”
Prinrin is studying us, raptly listening to my internal narrative, making quick work of figuring out what my logic might be. Iylynila looks aghast. First her mother proposed to me, or I proposed to her, one way or another, we decided we’d be wed soon, now a portent of death?
We’re all reeling more than a little bit at the moment, and Kinzul is trying to regain her poise, to wall off her emotions once more. I offer her a sad frown, wishing I could do more for her, to heal those emotions rather than barricade them away. We’re all probably more than a little bit stunned, for more than just a few moments, by the rapid pace of events.
Luni peeks her head in on the four of us, and looks ashamed as she turns her gaze to Kinzul. Even as she does, Lady Kinzul returns to her full glorious height, and walks over to embrace Luni comfortingly. She shuffles all of us out, since we now have a fairly important matter to discuss, with a secret accidentally let out of a bag. We turn from the library towards the feasting hall as we leave it. I send a private telepathic thanks, and a wave to Nala while we’re leaving.
My Anchor, my beloved Lu asks almost fearfully, “How could you know?”
We pause in yet another series of slate gray hewn stone hallways that have few distinguishing features, and only a thin trail of glowlichen to light our way. I loose a sad sigh before deciding how I want to respond, since I knew it was what she would ask to begin with. I just felt like we should move beyond the library first. The five of us are clustered together as we walk, and speak mostly telepathically through my brain.
Shaking my head I offer up, “Genre senses Lu. It had to be something like that. My guess is the picture only shows two things, one, me and two, Kinzul being dead, implying that I killed her, it might even look like I’m absorbing her dragonforce or something. We both know I would never, ever do such a thing as kill her. At this point, if Kinzul said that she were under a curse that would cause the whole world to die if she wasn’t slain, I’d risk letting the whole world go for Lil’s mom. For— my wife? There is nothing anyone could do to get me to kill her.”
I pause, but knowing where Luni and Teuila’s thoughts are drifting, as Teuila catches wind of our telepathic conversation, and heads our way. I cut them off at the pass, “If somehow, one of you were captured? I’d focus everything on rescue, because there’s no reason to ever let a hostage go when you’ve got leverage over someone, and it works. Hell, it’s more effective to torture the hostage to solicit compliance. But that would just piss me off, and I’d burn the world down trying to get to you and you know it. You guys are too powerful to let yourselves get captured, and not be able to get away somehow, but if you couldn’t get away, I’d be mounting a rescue, time traveling if I had to, like I did when Linti and Teuila were going to die on the same day.”
Whoops. That’s something I haven’t brought up in a long time. I don’t want them to feel bad for it, the fact that I had to relive a few days in worry. I’m pretty sure I forgot to check the party tab in our system’s menu interface, or I could have more accurately figured out exactly when things went down, without needing to use the walkie-talkie stones. Still, it’s the truth. I’d time travel, I’d risk the life of the roc-phoenix egg to save the others before I played into some villain’s hand by slaying Kinzul. Would Kinzul forgive me for that? It’s a life that she blessed, a love that—. We’re getting married and we have a child on the way. A child that might not be born for millions of years, but it’s on the way. My life is so weird.
Such a short while ago she was telling us to take every opportunity to share every love and joy. She told us to seek out ways to spend each of our days to the fullest, sharing our love with one another. My beloved Kinzul is doing the same. She’s reaching out, and, while I don’t feel worthy, what she sees in me she feels is worth her time, her investment, her love, and intimacy.
After realizing something, I motion for Luni to create privacy for the two of us. Hesitantly, I ask, “Are you implying Kinzul has been trying to get on my good side, to prevent any chance of me wanting to slay her?”
Luni's avatar stands in our private thinkspace as her eyes shoot wide. She shakes her head vigorously, answering, “No! No. I don’t think so. No, she’s not like that. She’s smart, like you, maybe more, and she figured it was a small part of something bigger. She’s worried that she’s going to leave you alone, to have to finish saving the world by yourself.”
I drop from Luni’s private thinkspace and I gulp back a sudden sob while squeezing my eyes shut. It can’t happen. It just can’t. She’s too important, too powerful. She can’t die. I—. She believes it will happen though. She’s investing everything in me, and passing along her faith in me, to her followers. That’s why Luni said I had to see it. Kinzul, are you listening in?
Lady Kinzul’s emotions warble, muted, muddied across a private wavelength. After a brief moment of composure, she offers, “My Schism, I had hoped to spare you the concern, the fear, the anxiety, most importantly, the knowing. But I fear asking our Muse, your Luni to keep yet another secret may have been breaking her heart, at a time when she so fears for your bond. You are astute, on levels that most leaders can not hope to find in a protege in a hundred lifetimes. Your inner circle, your family can, and will replace me. You will lead them, and they, my son, Sun, my general, included, in turn will lead the fighting forces of the Onyx Dawn. I only hope that the implication of your lonesomeness in the image does not come to pass.”
My heart catches in my throat and my eyes sting with building pressure of tears when I feel cried-out already from the past few days. I slam my fist into the nearest wall, and I’m prepared to do it again and again until my hand is a bloody mess, but Teuila stands in front of my punch, catching my hand. She didn’t hear Kinzul’s private message to me. She doesn’t understand why I’m suddenly so hurt, and so afraid. Kinzul so firmly believes in me, but also believes I will be standing at the end of it all, even after her, but she’s worried I may be standing alone at the end. It’s hard to not be shaken by the implications, when I was just finding myself so honored by her belief, and felt so trusting of it. We’re going to be married for crying out loud! I—. I don’t understand our worlds. I just don’t.
There’s a concerned glance from Illy, but Prinrin shakes her head, parsing and understanding more than just my internal words can narrate. Teuila’s outer brows droop as her brow furrows slightly in a sad understanding. Te brings me in to her embrace firmly, and Luni pouts demurely to one side as I stand stunned in Teuila’s arms. My tinnitus is so loud, and a pressure above my jaws, behind my temples is building again so much that I want to sink into slumber. Teuila thunks Luni playfully to get her to stop playing coy and get close enough for Te to hold us simultaneously.
I’m simultaneously numb, and in as much pain as I’ve ever been before. I understand why Kinzul would have hid it, and the hints that she was dropping, that I may be the one wishing she’d shared more when she had the chance. Us marrying beforehand, to facilitate and Administrate the leadership. I just don’t want it to be true. I have to convince myself that it’s in dozens, hundreds, maybe millions of years from now.
Kinzul is a nearly eternal dragon, and Lil is a digital dragon. Us Can’Z’aasians in the party have the infinite lifespans of digital dragons, from our bond with Lil. Kinzul is the oldest being alive, so no one knows how much older she can get, because the oldest hasn’t died of old age, so she could live forever. Please. Please just live forever.
Future me? Please, please send a message back. I’m begging you. Tell me how to stop it, how to save Kinzul. Lu? Luni shakes her head sadly as she hiccups while sobbing, not having any particular foresight that would let her save Kinzul. I lock eyes with Teuila, pleading for her to somehow promise to save Kinzul, to somehow be there, at the right time. Teuila’s eyes pour a river of tears, at the faith, the pressure, the idea of the loss, but she nods, promising to do her best.
Realizing something, I ask, “Does Nala know? Is that why Kinzul needed a second set of eyes? To verify that I was the figure in the painting?”
If that was the case, then Kinzul showed every bit the keenest mind, with simultaneously the greatest compassion and trust. She was smart enough to not buy into the trope in which a prophecy is misunderstood, leading to it becoming self fulfilling. If Kinzul was assured that someone with my wild red mass of hair, and my general appearance would be standing over her corpse one day, yet she came, while bearing a second opinion, peacefully pretending to kidnap us to bring us to our loved ones—. I can scarcely comprehend it. Even as we stand, hand in hand, something I hadn’t even noticed I’d done, I can hardly comprehend our Lady.
Kinzul could answer, but she’s working on shrouding her emotions from Luni and Teuila, sadly. I glance her way with love, concern, sadness. I’m uncertain where to try to move with this. There’s so much at play here. I just got back from facing a foe that is near infinitely deadly to anyone else, completely unharmed due to my random suite of abilities.
After returning home from that? Illy Prinny and I were getting our koff smutty koff, reading on. Kinzul showed up to just seek solace, perhaps tease me about the marriage, but then dove headfirst into my embrace, and into the offer. Now we’re talking about a portent of death? One with me over Kinzul’s corpse? One that maybe other people knew about beforehand, like Nala, before we’d ever met? It changes and colors all the interactions we’ve had. I mean, mostly in their favor, for trusting me despite things anyway.
Luni fidgets uncomfortably as she responds, “I’m not really sure about that. Maybe? I don’t think so. Aims definitely did that one a long time ago, the painting, portent portrait. No one really looks through all the ones that have already come to pass, so it’s just hidden in plain sight, in them. Other members of the Order may have seen it already. I’m not sure if Kinzul showed Nala, but Nala wouldn’t have gone to Aims’s gallery on her own.”
I could see this getting out of hand if people were to stumble across it, and get the wrong idea. Calling out telepathically to Kinzul who, despite standing right beside me, seems so far away, lost in thought, I ask, “Is it wise to keep that painting? Should we just destroy it, since we both agree it’s misleading?”
After a moment, my Lady responds, “If, after you see it, that is what you decide is the best course of action my Schism, then please, by all means do.”
I’m exceedingly tempted to rush the offer, the proposal, because my heart is terrified of the eventual loss. She’s going out on a mission without me, before we marry, but that could be the day she dies, and I’m left to search for her, and discover her body.
Every bit of me wants to cling to every bit of connection I could maintain with Kinzul, for as long as possible. I’m more than a bit embarrassed to be thinking about pleading for someone’s hand in marriage, anyone, because of the fear and knowledge that I will one day be standing over their corpse. Even moreso, since it is Lil’s mom, our Lady.
Thankfully, the polite humor that crosses Kinzul’s telepathic wavelength helps set my mind at ease, at least for the moment. She’s not worried that it will happen any time in the immediate future. Maybe that’s as good a reason as any to stay grounded in the present. I’ve got backslide into the past to the left of me, and a portent of the future to the right, but here I am, stuck in the middle with all of you. This is the time to be, the time is now. Every moment. Every precious moment.
Sending telepathically to Kinzul, I almost whisper as I profess, “I love you in ways I still haven’t found words for. I’ll strive to live up to your faith in me. Kinzul my love. Always come home safely to me.”
Luni looks a bit stricken, but the moments when her facial expressions were most concerned were when I said stuck in the middle, and the time is now. I furrow my brow at Luni, suspecting I know very well what caused the Bard of the Onyx Dawn to be concerned by those phrases.
Pulling Luni into her private thinkspace, I hoarse-whisper, “Lu, if you know song lyrics from Fakeworld, let’s at least bond about them. I’m sick of letting these stupid fake crapsack memories hurt me, hurt us, embarrass me by things that I shouldn’t be embarrassed about, repeatedly. If you absorbed some of my Fakeworld nonsense because of my time traveling shenanigans, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I did that to you, that I shared those horrid things with you. But can we at least enjoy the few decent ones together?”
Luni cracks. She wails for a long while, and I feel horrible for having put this pressure on her. I know there’s something wrong with my brain that she’s trying to protect me from, and she wants badly for us to be beyond it, to where we can just enjoy anything and everything together, even stupid silly stuff. I feel horrid, awful for putting Luni in this position, and then hammering on it, begging her to take the side she’s scared of, the one that could result in my death.
I hold Luni for a long moment in private thinkspace, hating myself, and crying for having done this to her. I beg, “Please forgive me Lu, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Everything’s just been so messed up in my head lately. I was so angry at us on the day at the shop, resentful and all of that, then we’re fighting, then I’m apparently saving people, hunting soul stealing things, and now it’s going to be a family business! I’m sorry. Please. Please forgive me.”
Luni nods almost furtively, and I draw a quick, shaky, shuddering breath. We once again drop out of private thinkspace, and fall once more into waves of mixed emotions between the three of us, when we reunite with Teuila.
All the while, Prinrin is helping keep Iylynila grounded, as Prinny somehow reads every last thing, said and unsaid, from my mind and my emotions. Similar in some regards to Kinzul, it would seem.
I pound the wall once more, but this time feebly with the hammer of my fist, softly. I’m, I’m just so distressed. The whirlwind is insane. I’m standing next to five of the most amazing beings in all the universes.
Those beings? One, I’m going to marry, and someday have to see dead. Another, her daughter, I share dalliances with that she doesn’t disapprove of. Third, a self professed little old gal who has admitted reciprocating being in love with me, that shares part of one of the ways I share dalliances with the second.
Fourth, My Wings, my first love, the woman who’s saved me countless times, who had grasped my hand and let me stay her equal, and we’d stood side by side against wave after wave of horror and apocalypse, always struggling onward.
Fifth, My Anchor, the woman who keeps my mind from rending itself apart, one whose love for me literally spans all four dimensions. She whom I entrusted the fate of our entire lives, of the ultimate timeline to, putting her through almost unbearable pain. Yet she still took it on. She’s someone I can never give enough of the love that she deserves to, because she deserves whole worlds of love, universes of love.
I drop my forehead against the wall and let myself weep for a moment. I don’t want to ever lose any of them. I don’t want there to be war, and violence, and struggle, and strife. I want to just give them a peaceful, sustainable life, where they can determine who and how they share their time with. I want it for everyone, that’s always true, but of course the people nearest and dearest to me, that I feel utterly in love with, I think of higher on the priority list. Lil is in there too, but I can sense that he’s somewhere a ways away making googly eyes at Ixeyla.
Some random Draconiacs either don’t notice, or care about our Lady’s presence, or have the gall to act rude around her as they comment about my ugly appearance and the nudity beneath my tattered cloak. None of us care enough to admonish them. Our sympathetic simultaneous mood as a party falls to a low point, but we still have to make it to Aims’s art gallery.
Elshon and Prent happen by, and Prent comments, “Well isn’t this just a party for the ages! Oh, looks a tad glum tho— My Lady. Pardon the intrusion.”
Elshon and Prent hurry along after reading the room. Burshis and Nietru aren’t far behind, with Burshis not having heard Prent, she comments, “What a gloomy looking crew we have he— My Lady. My apologies. Condolences. Whatever it is must be awful. My sympathy. I beg my leave.”
Nietru glances after Burshis who is somehow making a hastened scurrying away look dignified. Nietru then runs up to me, gives me a peck on the cheek, and tries to fish out two notes to attempt to covertly place them in my pouches. She’s definitely no master of espionage.
Nietru telepathically sends to me, “Whatever happened, chin up Hero. I believe in you and our Lady.”
Staring after her romantic partner that, at this point, it’s hard to believe she’s even still pretending to hide it, Nietru calls, “Pardon all, condolences as well. Burshee, wait up love!”
The five of us begin a slow uneasy chuckle that feeds into one another’s laughter, until we have a healthy round of chuckling going on amongst us. The spell, the dire pall is broken. Shaking my head I sigh as we continue to Aims’s art gallery. Luni leads us in, and digs through a stack of canvases not on any frames, just a massive pile of sheets of the cloth medium for painting. It might be worth checking out what other portents supposedly have already passed because they’re in that stack.
My heart drops into the pit of my stomach as Luni pulls free a large, nearly tapestry sized painting. Despite how amateur many of the rest of the paintings appear to be, this one is in startlingly, dishearteningly highly detailed and skillfully executed. That’s the back of my head, my hair, my danger wraps, and greaves I might wear alright. There’s also a faint, translucent shadow over me, centered on me, in the shape of a dragon. That’d be my Void Dragon Honoris Causa. Could Kinzul just rescind my Honoris Causa, and prevent this?
Kinzul, stroking my cheek affectionately, states aloud, “No my love. No. I would not risk the painful death that might await you at the hands of our foes without your gifted draconic strength. I will not have you, or any member of our Order die for me if I have any say in the matter. My beloved Schism, my love.”
Inhaling a ragged breath, I nod, sighing sadly. Turning my gaze back to the portrait portent, I try to find some clue, any clue that might be a detail I could use to prevent Kinzul’s demise. Wounds on her neck and chest both look fatal. It definitely looks like my Honoris Causa could have caused them, maybe, but it’d have taken hours of concerted effort. She’s the size of a mountain, taking up ninety five percent of the tapestry, and I’m this little one percent dot here at the bottom, with a few percent left over for some vague color-palette bokeh background.
If it weren’t so gruesome, I’d want to hang onto it forever, just to have a well-done portrait of Kinzul, in case it should be inevitable. What if we announced it in the feasting hall, as a fate we were trying to fight, together? If everyone tried to come up with solutions? Though, the panic and pall it could cast over the mountain would also be horrible.
Looking at Te, she’s stricken. Luni has returned to sobbing, and averting her gaze. Iylynila looks devastated. Kinzul seems placid, trying to rebuild her walls. The only person here I can talk to for guidance is Prinrin.
Begging her, I plead, “Prinny, what’s the right thing to do with this information? What should I even do?”
After a moment’s frown, Prinny responds, “I think you’ve already decided my poor dear, and I think it’s the right course, or as close as there can be to a right course Schism sweetie. You’re going to burn it, out of your love for and worry for everyone else, to take away the chance for this to hurt them and leave them in the same fear we feel. You’re going to cling to our Lady all the more, and cherish every moment of the bond you build. If you want me to validate your thoughts Schism sweetie, yes, I think your feelings are as good a course of action as any, and moreso, likely the most compassionate Schism my sweet.”
I drop to my knees in front of Prinrin, the only one among us able to offer consolation right now as we each find ourselves dealing with this portent in the worst ways. I need to console and reassure Illy, I need to spend every moment cherishing Kinzul, I need to take away the hurt this knowledge ladles upon Teuila and Luni. I need to show Prinrin my gratitude and love, for striving to remain clear-headed enough to offer me this guidance. She enters my embrace warmly, wrapping her arms around my head, cooing.
Prinny comforts all of us, “Shh, shush now my dears. It isn’t here yet. Death comes for us all. Take old adages to heart. Knowing that yes, one of us will someday die is no different than knowing that yes, eventually we all will die. It is the pain of knowing as our Lady said though. Come now loves, come closer. Please my Lady, I beg of you, you too. Schism sweetie, make the call.”
As we form into a rough circle, Prinrin is right. As if fighting the tides of fate themselves, I roll up the canvas, and set it on the cold stone floor in front of us. I take only a few moments to breathe and generate internal electricity before I pour a steady stream of lightning into the portent painting. I rail against its fate in some small way. Mostly though? I just want to spare others the knowing. The hurt. Prinny was right of course. Prinny knew I'd already chosen to burn it, it was already burning in my mind then, like it is now. The smoke stings our eyes, but we were all going to cry anyways, so we do.
We cry over the worst kind of portent.