CHAPTER 25: A DUGOUT DAY

Lu seems a bit out of breath, after providing us with rhythm to move to, literally, for hours on end, so Teuila and I quicken our pace to catch up with her and get her to rest. She actually looks a bit sickly, maybe Teuila was right, some things are too good to be true. If this is hurting Luni, I don’t want us to be taking advantage of her.

“I’m fine, really, stop fussing, a short break would be nice though.” Lu tries to shoo Te and me away, but she does break her song, and its magic. She definitely needs more than a short break though, we’re all done for the day by the looks of it.

Everyone else in the family lets out a relieved sigh at that, I guess we were all starting to either get; a bit flagged, or, worried about Luni. Teuila still fusses over Luni for a bit, like the overprotective big sister that she is, in a way. Actually I guess biologically they aren’t really sisters, I wonder if the twins came from one egg or two. Lu playfully shoos Teuila away finally, and most of the family break apart to either sit near, swim in, or drink from the river. Teuila takes me to the side though.

“Hey, buttsnack, I uh, I have something to admit to you.” Did she just call my butt a snack? Again, weirdly endearing, but weirder than usual. “I was kind of, well, stringing you along, when you asked about parents, and being born.” My heart nearly shattered mid sentence, my Teuila is of course a complex individual, and well, not mine in any possessive sense, but the thought of having somehow been treated to a complex trick, a trick that required saving my life, or at least nursing me to health over weeks or months, I can’t bare to imagine it. It actually makes me wonder what we are to each other, we’re close, but I don’t even know if we age in this world, will I one day suddenly morph into a more adult humanoid body? Are we actually young, or does youth even exist here? I do have these almost impish features, I kind of look like an interpretation of Peter Pan. Wait, why do I know that story? A forever child, one that spends an eternity in a mystical land. That uh, that’s a worrisome thing to remember all of a sudden, because of all the things that happen to Pan. But moreso, I look like Tink and Pan, well, I look like the result if they had a kid. Oh right, right, Teuila just brought up parents, I should pay attention.

“You, you what now? What? How do you mean?” I’m having trouble wrapping my head around Teuila’s admission, both what she could have been doing, why she did it, or why she’s admitting it now.

“I knew the words, somehow. It’s not like I don’t have the same vocabulary as you, or relatively the same after all. At least, I think we probably do. We’re all spawned, or, born as you put it, with pretty much a grasp of language that’s more or less equal, minus some fun cases.”

“Like Oli?”

“Like Oli.” She nods, and turns to hide her face while she probably wipes a quick tear. “Right, yes, um, so I knew the words, but I didn’t quite know why I knew them, or how they could have applied. I mean, why do I know something like that? Birth? It doesn’t exist, why do I know the term? Why do I know the meaning of an imaginary thing. A lot of the things you’ve mentioned, we all knew about, but we never thought to think about those words until you brought them up. Lao thought it would be best if we tried to, well maybe Ag thought it would be best, but Lao told me to, well, if you asked about certain things, to kind of play dumb, but I can’t, I don’t like to lie to you. I hate it, I hate it.” She seems to be rubbing her eyes still while she faces away.

“Teuila, I, well, I don’t know what to say. Thank you, for um, sharing your feelings, and confessing. It’s really brave, you’re always really brave. I don’t think anything could make me stop loving you, loving being your, whatever I am to you. Well, anything short of, like, some specific magic that makes people stop loving, or controls their minds, good gravy I hope nothing like that exists.” I shudder at the idea of something being able to overwrite my emotions, or free will.

“But you don’t get it, that first night, sometimes you’d say some things, and each of us would remember a word or meaning, like you, it doesn’t make sense for us to know them. Sure, part of that is the way the world works, we’re born with knowledge, it doesn’t have to come from anywhere, we know that, but why we would also know words about fake things, things we’d never thought about til you mentioned them, I guess we were all too confused to ask you or confront you that first night. Then… then it happened. The wave.”

“I’ve been, uh, well, I’ve been calling it the Night of High Water in my head. The wave sounds like a dance move.” Teuila chuckles and lightly punches me in response.

“I’m being serious you dork!” She socks me several times in the shoulder lightly.

“And I’m serious that it sounds like a dance move! Heh, hey stop hitting me, please, go on?”

“Right, so um, obviously we didn’t have any time to process it, or think about it that night, but then you were, you were, you were, almost, you were almost gone, for weeks.” Teuila chokes back sobs, and my heart wrenches, imagining how I would have felt if she were on death’s door, unresponsive for weeks, in a world where recovery should happen over night. My eyes well with tears and I wrap my arms around her, turning her to face me. She buries her face in my clavicle, and I hear a weird sound. Did she just? Yeah, Teuila just blew her nose on me. That’s so gross but I can’t help but laugh.

“What’s so funny?” She manages to ask between sob-wracked breaths.

“Just having the one dearest to me be so comfortable with me that she uses me as a snot rag, and doesn’t worry what I’ll think about it.”

“Oh come off it dork, you have a magic cleaning stone.”

“Correction, Lu has the magic cleaning stone.” I tease Teuila, one of the few times I tease her back.

“Oh, right, oops.” Then we both burst into a small fit of laughter, holding each other.

“So then, sometime during those weeks, you all talked, I mean, I knew you didn’t just put your lives on hold while I was out cold, but even Lil was in on it?”

“Lil was so confused at the decision, and angry at first, I was terrified they were going to actually kill someone. They admitted it was the same for them when first talking to you, that you used words, and somehow they knew the definitions immediately, as if they’d always known them, but were confused on their meaning, and by the time you explained, they didn’t need to ask any more. Lil is so protective of you, they didn’t even realize they were already doing what was suggested.”

“I’m just kind of shocked that both Lil and Lu could keep it hidden from me across the shared wavelength. Lil and I have had some discussions long ago, where they didn’t know what words meant, or at least weren’t sure how I was using them. I guess I hadn’t thought to ask into our bond all that much about their knowledge of words’ meanings. I do remember Lao sort of deftly changing the subject away when I got on a tangent one time. Do you think she doesn’t want me to understand these memories? Are they painful for you?”

“No, just a bit confusing. We’ve never had to worry about such things before, we led a pretty simple life, now all of a sudden, we have to contemplate what parts of our existence means, and on top of that, we have, well, we had, the Night of High Water to deal with, and everything since.” She actually air quotesed around Night of High Water to make fun of me, and I can’t help but to chuckle.

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“I don’t think Lao means any harm.” We both surmise at the same time, and laugh again.

“I know Lil will be relieved to know that I know, maybe Luni will too? I’m worried that it might upset her if she thinks she’s doing something Lao doesn’t want, since I know.” While thinking about Lil and Lu, I realize that I can just ask or sense how they feel about it.

“Yeah you can.” Comes Luni across our shared wavelength. So, she already knows that Teuila is admitting this to me now. “Yep, it’s okay, I told her to come clean, it was eating her up inside. She felt like she was treating you in a way that would make it look like she thought you were an idiot who would never catch on.”

“Thanks Lu,” I whisper into the wavelength, but also a bit out loud, which causes Teuila’s face to screw up.

“Excuse me?”

“Err, not you Te, Lu was just talking in my head. You two are so good to each other.” Teuila fumes a bit, I know how she feels about not being a part of the shared think space, so I try to change topic quickly. “So um, hey, you don’t have anything to worry about, we should probably just break it to the whole family at some point, we can pretend I figured it out on my own if you want. There were enough hints between Ag and Lao that something was off, I guess I was just too preoccupied to wonder what was off. It makes sense now, and I think Lao might want it to be a sort of personal quest of mine. I guess Lil was right, maybe my destiny is to make a philosophy school, or school of thought, something like that. Something that helps us understand our mysterious memories.”

“Well, your mysterious memories. We just know some words that don’t apply to anything in reality.”

“Right, right, my own mysterious memories.” I shrug, I guess it’s as good a reason as any to keep moving forward. Well, okay, no, I can think of three really great reasons to always push forward, and I love them all so deeply.

“Love you too buddy” “Samesies Reggie” Come responses from Lil and Luni across our wavelength. I guess I was thinking about them pretty strongly right then. I just hug Teuila closer, enjoying our embrace.

“You know what? My legs are really sore, and we’ve been standing around talking, we should either sit down, or work on a dugout.”

“Heh, you wimp, I should make you train with me.”

“Te, I wouldn’t survive half an hour of your training.”

“Pssh, darn right you wouldn’t. Fine, fine, I think we should get the dugout made, I’m worried about Lu. Tomorrow, maybe we don’t march as long straight in a row. As many hours, whatever.” Teuila sort of starts to mumble or ramble by the end.

“Hey everybody, we’re going to make camp for the night, it’ll be easier if everyone pitches in a hand, or paw, but if you’re too tired, please rest nearby. I think that tree over there has some strong roots that are far enough apart to dig between. If you don’t like the mud, Lu has our magic stone that can clean it off of anyone.”

“You also got mud cleaning magic Lu?” I hear the twins bound over to ask Luni, while Teuila, Lil and I start digging under the roots of the biggest tree, and scooping out water as we build a bit of a dam. Luni seems to be entertaining the twins, showing off her hidden pocket and magic bag. It makes me happy to see her enjoying herself with the family.

Lil and I work at hardening the dugout’s interior walls, and drying out the insides to make it safe and cozy, then I head out to judge the right dimensions for, well, essentially a door. Is it a false door? Or is it a false mudglob because it’s technically a door that’s disguised? Maybe just a camouflaged door. Mata just seems to be keeping a silent eye on me, which is a tad unsettling, but as long as I don’t make them feel any worse, I guess I’m fine with it. Ag and Lao pitch in with the scooping and drying on the inside, since they need the most room, and are probably the best suited to judge how much ventilation we need, which we create with pointy sticks up through the mud, then we firebake the holes left behind. It only takes a couple minutes of work, but we have our first Shellcracker family dugout.

The family largely disrobes, or divests themselves of the armor, most stick it in a corner cubby, though Lu puts hers in her magic bag, and Teuila asks me to hold onto hers in my inventory. Apparently though, the padded clothing feels better against fur and skin than the dirt does, so oddly enough, my family is now by and large, clothed. What does that phrase even mean, by and large? I mean, I’m pretty sure I thought it in the right context, so I’m not even sure what I’m asking, maybe its etymology? Do words even really have etymology? Here I mean, this world that seems to conflict with my memories. Words just seem to have always been there, for everybody, as soon as they’re born.

The whole family takes a meal together inside the dugout, it’s ventilated enough that it’s not too stuffy, despite the many warm bodies in close proximity. Lil basically gets the center of the dugout, because on any given side, they’d bring warmth only to a few of us, or perhaps overheat a few of us. It basically lets the rest of us choose how close to or far from Lil we want to be. Of course Luni basically rests atop Lil, and I stick close to my oldest friend, and Teuila close to me. The other five are lazily spread out in a near perfect circle, tailtip to nosetip. I can actually reach out a hand and stroke Laomati’s paw-like hand from where I sit, and I see her smile a tender smile at me, in that motherly way of hers. I guess we’re more of a clan, rather than a biological family, and all that, but still, our closeness can’t be denied. Especially the closeness between Lil, Luni, Teuila and myself. I mean, it’s obvious that we’re not biologically related, several of us are entirely different species, and well, I think a few of us are romantically involved. I’ve never really asked, and I don’t know how old we are, so it feels a bit weird.

We’ve been through so much together in what seems like such a short time, in my memories, a normal life wouldn’t have any of this sort of adventure, let alone as much as we’ve packed into our short time knowing one another. Not to mention, most crazy things don’t happen to people who look miniscule, or well, young, it’s generally some buff, tall, or at least adult-seeming individual that purposely goes out looking for danger, or in stories, to take on some quest. I doubt any mythological person known for their strength, really, truly would want to experience what we have, fighting off some seven, eight, nine or whatever headed serpent in a swamp, or facing something with such a terrible and dangerous command of the sea. A name comes to mind, or well, two, but they sound similar, Heracles and Hercules. I don’t remember any individuals that seem real, but if I focus hard, it seems I can remember some from myth and legend. Who would I have learned those myths and legends from though? Why should I know a pantheon worth of mythos when I’ve a body that seems to have so few years of experience in life? Maybe I’m some kind of elf or pixie, and actually much older than I seem to be by human standards? Yet why would all my memories be of human society then, and tell me that elves and pixies don’t exist? Not to mention, things like Octorochi and magic don’t exist, though they exist in fantasy, in board games, in things like Dragon Dungeons. Whatever that is, ugh, I need to get out of my own head.

If it weren’t such a serious need for shelter, it would feel like camping, like what camping is supposed to be with other humans in my memories. I don’t have any specific humans in any memories, but just the idea of camping together with others exists. Sitting around a campfire, or in this case, a fire-breathing dragon, enjoying one another’s company in the wilderness. Though I guess my entire life has been nothing but wilderness since I sprang into existence, or at least since my memories start. There’s still that nagging suspicion that I existed before Day… One…

Oh fudgeknuckles, after another panic episode, I come to, with the entire family staring at me, other than Teuila whom is holding me, consoling me. She’s trying to signal to everyone else to knock it off with the stares while simultaneously holding me and stroking my hair. I’m really lucky. Even Ali looks concerned, slightly, though perhaps of a different concern than everyone else.

“Sorry, sorry everyone, I um, had some flashbacks when my thoughts went a certain direction, sorry. I’m good, I swear. But uh, I got to thinking, this is a lot like camping. Where I’m from, or well, where I think that I thought I was from because of my buggy memories. Memories that Ag and Lao keep trying to steer me away from, which is probably a kindness, thanks you two. I can tell there’s something up when I ask about certain things, but you’ve been very sweet about it. Anyway, point being, there’s a tradition when camping with a group of friends or loved ones, where people take turns telling one another scary stories. Often ghost tales. Does anyone want to do that? We can keep it really quiet if anyone doesn’t want to hear. I guess they don’t have to be scary, it could just be stories.” When I call out Lao and Ag about the avoidance of certain topics, they exchange a knowing glance, but say nothing.

“Oo, I’m most definitely in.” Luni surprisingly answers first, well, I guess not that surprisingly, she seems to be growing into the family’s storyteller, bard, and whatnot. She dusts down her dress and sits in a demure pose, legs to one side. Luni looks around, seemingly for more volunteers, or anyone to speak up before she tells her story. Teuila elbows me, and I cough and raise my hand.

“Yeah, I uh, suggested it, of course I’ll join in.” I state, rubbing the spot where Te elbowed me. I grin down at her and kind of roll my eyes, signaling she didn’t need to give me a push after all.