Finding Prinrin alone standing in the hallway that leads to the library, she looks despondent, until her gaze turns up and she spies me. Prinny’s eyes go wide and she flings her arms wide open. Her left arm is a bit banged up still, but no longer seems broken, so I rush to her and accept her leap as she wraps her arms around me. I make sure to carefully catch her so that she doesn’t have to put any of her weight on her left arm in the embrace.
Shaking her head, Prinrin mutters, “Waited in the feasting hall for you Schism sweetie. Oh my dear Hero, I waited and worried and worse, you didn’t come home. My heart couldn’t take it. Another Hero, like The Platinum, gone. I couldn’t even bring myself to believe it Schism sweetie. I was just numb. Our Hero? Gone? Only a day into the war? You have no idea just how much your presence, your return means to me right now. How many hopes have returned, how far I had begun to fall. Oh my dearie, Schism sweetie, don’t go giving an old gal such a heart attack again. I don’t think this runt’s old ticker could take it.”
I hug Prinrin comfortingly, keeping her wrapped around me, because she is very much not letting me go, and I’m okay with that. More than okay, I want to be able to reassure her with my physical presence. I love this ‘little old lady’. I’d be locking lips with her if I thought that was part of our relationship, but it isn’t.
Prinrin, hearing my internal monologue, agrees with all of it, “You’re sharp as ever Schism sweetie. Yes, no. Hands and hearts and chests and backs and all that, yes. My lips belong to my darling, my sweet lad, even if he’s rarely able to take advantage of that fact these days. You absolute cutie. I’m flattered Schism sweetie, truly flattered, and it makes an old gal blush at the attention.”
Sighing wistfully, Prinrin adds, almost teasingly, “Perhaps in my younger days, when I was a little more frivolous, a little less discerning about where my lips might travel. After my sweet lad took to infirmity though, I resolved to do him that justice, that act of, I suppose faithfulness. Most of us dragons don’t exactly practice monogamy or much of anything like it, but it still felt right.”
I can’t get a word in edgewise but I absolutely love listening to this whirlwind of a woman talk, so I don’t mind as Prinny continues, “Having you return home, looking so confident, so well, so triumphant, knowing what you faced, I feel safe in your arms Schism sweetie, safer than I’ve felt in ages. I don’t sense his dragonforce in you, so I suppose it got away one way or another.”
At this, I grumble, “Yeah the other six jerks showed up and ran off with his almost-dead body after I got shaken out of his chest cavity when we hit the ground. They didn’t do much more than smokescreen me with fire breath and waste time trying to hit me with dragonfright before running away after I’d offered my title to them, and my claim on his body. He can probably be patched up, chest-wise, but his dactyl leather is gone, he at least won’t be flying again for a very long time. Grr. I guess I have to settle for Tinth’s dragonforce awakening my Honoris Causa’s second Caliber.”
Excitement dances across Prinny’s face as she listens raptly to my explanation, and her eyes widen at my ending statement, so she commends me, “Oh that’s so good to hear my dear! Making progress in dragonranks or Calibers or however you want to think of your Honoris Causa will be immensely helpful in the battles to come. You can’t help making this old gal feel safer and safer, can you? Through the shock of the storm, the fire of the Damnations, the flood of the acid, and you look better than the entire rest of your mission’s raiding party. Dear me, I do believe I reciprocate Schism, what you’d said before. My heart flutters at the thought of you protecting us, standing as vanguard against all-comers. As big a Hero as he ever was. Our beloved Platinum. What’s odd is I sense *more* of him in you, as if you actually carry around some small spark of him, now that you’ve returned.”
I squeeze Prinrin gently yet firmly against my chest with my left arm, paying no heed to where my right hand is supporting the weight of the left half of her body, as delightfully taught as it is. Wait, reciprocating? When I’d said I’d possibly fallen in love in as short as a mere two conversations? Wait, no, specifically I think I said I’d allow myself to fall in love with her if she hinted there was a chance of reciprocation. Are *we* in love?
There’s a delightful cackle from Prinrin as she comments on my thoughts, “It would seem so dearie, Schism my sweet. Still, pay it no mind, it changes nothing. You’re absolutely exactly everything you need to be to assure me. When this battle is long over, some day far in the future, then perhaps our little hearts combined might mean something else. For now it just means the same thing we’ve felt about each other the whole time. We appreciate, honor, and care for the other, and want the other to be safe, and happy. That’s all it is Schism sweetie. You utter dearie you. I dare say I’m delighted, all atingle at the thought of having a love continue, someone interested in little ol’ me. Though I don’t like to admit it, my sweet lad will be leaving us sometime soon. Years, months, we’re not sure. Ailing in mind and body, aged, and, well, spent for a secret that perhaps you already know. The way you felt with Our Lady at Vanathar. I suspect you know exactly how my sweet lad was spent.”
I gasp, “Oh Prinny. I’m, I’m sorry that he—. The Worldstorm. I’m sorry that it took so much to create, to maintain. It is saving the world though, it really is. I don’t know if that makes you feel better about his actions, his state, I can’t imagine—.”
There’s an almost joyous scoff as Prinrin corrects me, “I think we both know that’s not true don’t we my dear? You can imagine just about any hurt, any love, any joy, with that big heart of yours, and that big brain of yours. It does though. It truly does feel better, hearing our Hero say it was worth it. I had forgotten, the hurt I carried because of it. It had happened so long ago that I numbed myself to it. To hear you say such kind words, you truly know how to share your love and make it feel felt Schism sweetie.”
Then, teasingly, Prinny adds, “Hopefully some words we share tonight will help us feel a bit of another kind of love. I’m all atingle at the idea of having you read to us dearie. I apologize if my gaze becomes, what’s the word, licentious? Yes I do believe so, licking my lips and whatnot. Oo you’re warmer than a sauna, mm, I absolutely adore being this close to you and your, oh, your naked body, I hadn’t even noticed! Goodness, yours is rather unique, isn’t it? I think I recall already learning this, but I hadn’t really thought to picture it. It is a fairly pleasant picture now that I’ve got it in my eyes and mind, mind you. Still, such lovely blush, and such kind thoughts going through your head, fighting yourself and struggling to stay the course as a true and righteous hero, worried about even little things like enjoying a bit of lusty thoughts. You can allow yourself to think a little dirty Schism sweetie. We’re all a bit deviant here in our little club now aren’t we?”
My facial expression travels the whirlwind gamut of emotions as Prinrin speaks a hundred miles an hour, sending me sailing down a dozen different paths of feelings of joy, embarrassment, accomplishment, pride, honor, love, koff lust koff, and more. She truly feels delectable as well, with such a firm, taut body. Ages of being one of the best fighters, while being one of the tiniest, have left her looking waifish, with hidden muscles like Teuila’s. Her spikey hair gives her a bit of a pixie-like appearance for some reason, and I adore it even as it pokes my chin while Prinrin nuzzles my chest in our standing embrace.
Well, my standing embrace, her clutched-on-for-dear-life with arms about my chest and legs around my waist embrace. We both chuckle at my train of thought, but neither of us moves to change our current arrangement. We’re both quite content to be simply two very odd, very different, very in love members of the Order, without it changing anything about our mostly-platonic relationship. Affection doesn’t always require romance, and similarly, even being in love, even if it’s reciprocated, doesn’t always require romance.
I do absolutely love this wonderful little woman though. I feel so much when she speaks, and she senses all of those feelings, she had done so even prior to our bond. She reveals so many things, and leaves herself so vulnerable when she speaks so openly to me, completely unafraid. She can tell I wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt her, and I’d protect her from or try to rectify any harm that ever came to her.
When Illy coughs from behind us, I blush only slightly, and shrug a bit helplessly, as I turn towards Illy, still embracing Prinrin. I don’t set Prinrin down, and she doesn’t attempt to leave, as I approach Illy, a question in my eyes. Iylynila avoids my gaze momentarily.
Grumbling, Illy says, “Crap, you ass, yes, come here,” before grabbing me to kiss me softly while we squish Prinrin lightly between us as gently as we can in a sandwiched embrace that pillows her cranium in a heavenly location. The three of us are virtually steaming by the time Illy and I part from our lip-lock.
There’s a hearty chuckle from Prinrin as she works to extricate herself from my embrace as she declares, “Well now, I do believe the honor for tonight’s reading must absolutely go to our sweet Schism, but what do you think Illy dear?”
The fluster as Illy glares at Prinny who is only beaming a bright, loving smile her way, is a gorgeous crimson hue added to her dark features. Illy mumbles, “Y-yeah. Their mind is, um, fun. About that. You’re both awful asses, you know that? I love you both, and I hate it. Wait, that grin. Did you tell Prinny!?”
I hold my hands up, and before I can explain, Prinrin jumps to my defense, “No such thing dearie, the way Schism thinks about you, and the worry they have for our Lady’s feelings about their feelings about you, and a few stray thoughts here and there put some puzzle pieces together for me. Come now, you’d have told me tonight anyway. We both know that, now don’t we Illy my dear?”
Groaning, Illy leans against the right-hand wall, her forearm up high for her head to rest against as she complains, “Ugh, you’re probably right. Why do I let you open your mouth when you’re always going to convince me of things? I can’t even remember how I first let you talk me into this club.”
Prinrin lets out a soft, short giggle, choosing not to explain whatever first event caused the two to explore their shared interest in reading material. Instead, she leads the way, marching happily towards the library, so that we can both find material to read, and a quiet, completely private place to read it.
When we inquire about the private reading area, Nala indicates she’ll stay away from it for the evening, but as she says, “Yes yes, fine fine, just clean up after yourselves,” in an annoyed tone, it’s quite apparent that she’s implying complete understanding of what we had intended to do. I blush rather heatedly at the seeming acknowledgment.
~~~~
We’ve read for at least three hours, probably a lot longer, having gone around halfway through this book, and I’m struggling to contain my thoughts as I gaze at the two beautiful women around the room. These two amazing, wonderful women forming a loose semicircle, only a few feet away to either side of me. These two, adorable, adoring women who raptly listen, as I read, to both my mind, and my voice. These two women with Illy’s back up against the far wall, and Prinrin edging closer to me every single page. The two, beautiful, bar—.
When Illy gasps, “M-Mother!?” Prinrin’s immediate response is, “A bit too kinky for our little club my dear, it’s not nice to tease about being cau—.”
When Prinrin and I look towards Illy, seeing the absolute mortification in her face, we turn our gazes towards the entrance to the private room. Prinrin leaps, scoots, and hides behind my body as Iylynila wraps her arms and wings around herself. Her wings transform into little more than a silken sleeping bag, completely enveloping her. I can sense Kinzul’s gaze taking us in, but I don’t sense any anger or reprise along her emotional wavelengths. No, I sense mirth. I’m gulping crazily, gasping for air, trying to rattle my skull to come to my senses.
Our Lady strides several steps closer to all of us, standing between the three of us, and for far too long a moment, she simply sweeps her gaze back and forth between and across us. Lady Kinzul only offers a regal utterance of, “Hmn.”
Prinrin begins to chatter nervously, trying to find some way to talk out the extreme fear she’s feeling when Lady Kinzul holds up a hand, and Prinny falls silent instantly. Kinzul smirks before smiling widely at all of us as she states, “I have no issue with your little club my dearly, dearly beloved old friend, and my utterly beloved daughter. I simply felt I had a pressing issue to discuss with my spouse-to-be.”
I choke as my tongue fills my own throat. I’m left coughing and snorting air before I can gasp a, “Spouse, koff, to be?” while Illy and Prinrin also similarly ask, “Spouse!?”
A devious grin plays across Kinzul’s lips as she asks a familiar question, “Your offer still stands, does it not, Schism my love?”
Trying to take dry air across my sticky tongue down my suddenly swollen throat is an experience that has me repeatedly gulping, hoping for some saliva to produce itself. Still finding it difficult, and breathing heavily, gasping and panting for air, I nod somehow both simultaneously hesitantly and emphatically while responding, “Yes, of course, always.”
When Lady Kinzul bends at her hips and waist directly over in front of me, to place her right index finger under my chin, I now realize it had been dropped along with my jaw. I gulp further when I realize she intentionally presents me a view along—. Gulp. I tear my gaze away by flicking my eyes to the side but they continue sliding back.
Lady Kinzul begins to further compress herself, to shrink down to approximately six feet two inches tall, so I mirror the size by growing temporarily to join her. She warmly embraces me, and I find our arms wrapped around each other as I feel walls hiding her emotions crumble. My lady is a whirlwind, a cascade, a virtual typhoon of emotions that would ravage anyone’s soul. I’m brought to tears, and so I cling to her all the more tightly. Prinrin whispers a shocked, saddened, sympathetic, “Oh my Lady.”
Prinrin continues her soft, compassionate mutterings, “My sweet Lady, and Schism my sweetie. Yes. It’s only right.”
I can sense that Kinzul didn’t want to interrupt our reading club, she doesn’t even want us to disband it. She’s seeking solace because she has been broken for so long, bearing all this hurt, for so long, and we are among the only three she could let herself be so vulnerable with. My tongue is still dry and sticky as I continue gulping, but Kinzul and I weep together in each other’s arms.
Kinzul knows I’ve learned even more of the world’s secrets, *her* secrets. She felt panic at the fear of the loss of me, and she had to attend to the Worldstorm somehow when her emotions began to falter. She had to leave Mount Solace, she knew of my status, and my location, through her Latent, Administration, so she worked a way for me to be rescued as she sought to quell her emotions. To quell the raging storm both within her, and the Worldstorm itself, to maintain it somehow after the upset, the shock of the idea of losing me.
There’s such a vast array of emotions sparking within our Lady. There’s some pride there too, the knowledge that I came home safe, and brought home more than I left with. I feel everything about what Kinzul feels, though I do not receive her internal narrative. I simply experience her emotions, and instinctively understand the topics they relate to, as if we shared some parts of our mind or soul beyond the emotional wavelength.
I can sense the query, the seeking of true equality in consent that Kinzul cannot express through her tear-laden sobs. Her desire for complete honesty about my offer of marriage. It takes me a while as I nod, to find any words able to pass my lips. None seem strong enough.
While Illy slowly transforms her clothing into an actual dress, so that her arms are free, she raises one hand to her mouth as she continues to gasp in astonishment at what she’s hearing across my mental wavelength. Her eyes are as wide as can be. Prinrin, for her part, has calmed down and is sitting behind me, nodding in both approval, and understanding.
Still struggling to find words as I hold my Lady lovingly, tenderly, I still don’t even have names for the boxes and categories that my love for her falls under. I simply start muttering every word I can think of in assent, “Yes, utterly, truly, absolutely, wholly, completely, beyond a doubt, definitely, certainly, true as can be, unquestionably, without fail, assuredly, positively, undoubtedly, unconditionally, entirely, fully. A thousand times yes, Kinzul, my beloved Lady. My love. Lady Kinzul, please, do me the honor of marrying me.”
One of my Lady’s sobs becomes a soft chuckle, and then another, and then another. She follows these by inhaling a shuddering breath while composing herself, returning to her regal poise, and stature, only withdrawing ever-so-slightly from my arms, still standing chest to chest. She tilts her head in that ever so slight regal nod of affirmation in response to my request. Illy brings her left hand to join her right hand in covering her gasping, jaw-dropped mouth.
Private wavelengths from Kinzul to Illy reduce Illy’s shock, and cause Illy to bow towards her mother, in a mixture of glee, and sorrow. If I were to hazard a guess, it would be an intimation something along the lines of that, as I’d felt from her earlier, she doesn’t want us to disband our club, or stop our dalliance at all. Further, the sorrow was likely from something along the lines of, should something happen to Kinzul, my love, should she pass, I will obviously be a widow, perhaps with a joke about that I may have immortal longevity even greater than Kinzul’s
What can one even possibly say to this? Kinzul is an impossible being, she’s a woman whose emotions, tenderness, empathy, compassion, and love for all have been cultivated to levels I can barely comprehend. She asks of me to follow in those footsteps, to continue nurturing the same emotions, feelings, duties, despite the hurts and the sorrows that will undoubtedly come with them. She asks of me to join and unite with her, an ancient, powerful force of nature, whose true size is godlike in proportions, whose life experience is so titanically grander than mine, that I’m a spec floating in the sea of her.
I love her, of course I do. I’m honored, of course I am. I’m infatuated, most definitely. I’m stunned at her beauty, in every single facet of her being. Right now though, right now Kinzul needs more than my adoration. Please Illy, Prinrin, feel my thoughts, my love for her, and for you. Come to us. They do. Illy, Kinzul, and myself shrink to match Prinny’s height, so that Prinrin and Iylynila can join our embrace as equals, to share in our love, our sadness, our joy.
I can’t help a soft, burbly chuckle, and Kinzul follows with one of her own, both of us quite mucusy from our shared weeping. I try not to make note of Prinrin’s current garments, or rather—. There’s a hot flash of embarrassment from our beloved not-so-dressed-for-the-occasion Prinny, warming our shared embrace all the more. Where do we even go from here? What do I even do with this information? With this acceptance, this offer, this honor?
Lady Kinzul has the answers, “We will make an announcement, and disseminate the engagement the day after the morrow, when we’ve returned from our other engagement, our offensive. Please my beloved Schism, my love, rest, recuperate, take the eve to share your love with our beloved Prinrin. She follows me into battle tomorrow. Take tomorrow to recover, and share your love with the rest that you hold dear, my beloved daughter included. Or to even see to the new family you have brought into our home, four lives you have spared and saved, with the thousand or more that comes with one of them. Treat each day with care, to always, always make certain that you’ve grasped and loved every moment you can with those important to you, those intimate to you, in whatever way joins your hearts.”
There’s a soft squeak, a meep from Illy, as Iylynila’s face becomes flush from her mother’s direct verbal acknowledgment of her knowledge of our dalliance. My heart hammers in my chest, racing, feeling such a vast series of complex emotions. The implication of treating each day as our last, because any one of us might not return from battle is sobering, and saddening. I blush as I become aware of our shared alternatingly ragged, or sobbed breathing, or embarrassed shallow breathing, and its effect on the constant resulting impact of the four of our chests.
I feel lost in a sea of stars. I’m a spec floating in the vast, the infinite. I—
Kinzul utters softly, “You are the infinite my love. Yours is a love whose well is infinite. You are the endless void that eternally yearns to fill. Yours is the Schism that is ceaseless, boundless. You need not disparage yourself, comparing such things as your linear age, or the size of your mortal body. You’ve a soul the size of everything, all encompassing.”
Wait. Soul. A universe, everything inside a soul. Something. A connection. A Ceaseless Schism? I—. Something within my brain begins to tear as My beloved Anchor quickly orders me to stop chasing this train of thought. I’m forced to comply, and embarrassed that this means that Luni had been witness to all of my internal monologue this eve, because she has been watching out for me, protecting my mind from destruction, as has been her seemingly eternal duty.
Illy and Prinny blush all the more heatedly, realizing we’d had another observer to our club activities. I’d join them in blushing, but Luni isn’t teasing, she’s not pushing me, she’s protecting me from complete mental annihilation. How can I do anything right now other than feel this overwhelming love?