Hello, Nakama here. Another volume has passed, another commentary is due. This volume is a rather short one but nevertheless I really enjoyed writing this volume and I hope you did reading it as well. The mystery is compact but is super smart and super fun. And the drama, the message, the conflict was a very interesting one. It was rarely boring and the entire volume was an absolute thrill ride.

Regarding the mystery

I always had a few ideas on how exactly this conflict would go. Cause even after writing volume 1 and especially after writing the scene of Hellen vowing to Mew to bring back Hori in volume 2, I always imagined how Hellen and co would bring out Hori from prison.

Option A was using Fushichin’s idea and creating a systematic change by talking and convincing other people to rally and change the laws and how judgement is held down. I still think this idea is on the table. Future arcs may even focus on this idea. Tho changes like this require a lot of time and a lot of patience from both the characters and the readers. Its definitely something that requires effort from both sides to happen in fiction and in real life.

Option B was having Hellen and co bust the prison and them saving Hori and some other people who they thought and felt that the sentence was too harsh. Very aggressive approach but it might actually have an immediate impact and could be a very interesting tale to tell. Especially since I think our main characters definitely lucked out in that Hori was secretly taken away to a different facility that was low on defense. Still think breaking a state jail is way more difficult than saving Hori and the others from an underground laboratory. Tho, I still think they could have done it if they really wanted to.

An interesting thing about this story was that originally, I thought of a version where the story is being told from the point of view of when the detectives enter the prison scene where Hori and some other inmates were already released. So, the readers would be reading from the aftermath of Fushichin and Hellen’s prison break and realizing they have already broken in and saved Hori. Hellen’s plan and her crimes would have come off as a plot twist. I didn’t really like this. Mainly because A, its too obvious for both the readers and the characters. Klancy knew Hellen and Fushichin wanted Hori out, the readers knew about Hellen’s vow so it’s not a very fun mystery to solve. Reason B is that I didn’t want myself or readers feel too detached from Fushichin and Hellen. A lot of their actions and thought process would remain in the dark for this to work. Although, I still think it would have been an interesting story on its own right and who knows, maybe I might do something like this in the future.

Option C is basically this story that you have, right now. The mystery of Hori committing suicide in prison is super interesting and puzzling. It really tests Hellen’s heart. Suicide is always the easy option to fall back on logically, but Hellen’s heart knew that it was not the right answer so she kept pushing for the truth.

She hunts and rushes with her team and eventually reaches where the captives were held, massive shootout happens, lots of lives lost but ultimately, there was success.

I also researched and found out that, yes, you can create a lot of fire with flashlight and hand sanitizers. The idea was that those products were given to the confinement cells by the higher ups specifically for this big trick. It was all a very big conspiracy that may or may not play a factor in the future. And the detectives who investigated the case also conspiring and made it so that the bookcase, vents are drilled down appropriately, the bodies being moved and never examined and identified by a medical team, the case itself never being reported in the database made the case all the more mysterious and complex.

It was fun to write and it did not drag out at all, the pacing was just perfect.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

Also, during the shoot out, you can clearly see some counter strike references and inspirations. Honestly, it’s the shooter I’m most familiar with and it was a very fun and unique experience, trying to move around so many different characters and thinking up strategies each side will use.

Regarding the characters

Hellen

I love her. She was as great as ever. And her love for Hori and Mew is something special. Being able to go against the tide like that and believing your own heart takes a lot of courage. She definitely used to idolize Klancy in the past so facing him head on and talking him down was really nice. A very interesting battle of words and wisdom that was.

There are still so many tidbits that I like from her. How she keeps pushing forward even if she is wounded on her shoulder. How she is now giving out speeches that honestly surpasses Fushichin’s, in a lot of ways.

She has grown a lot and there is a lot of room to grow too.

Klancy

We finally get to hear Klancy’s backstory from his mouth. It was also relevant to the arguments that he was having with Hellen so I’m really happy how that turned out. He is just someone who was really hurt in the past and decided that past event is now gonna define him. I think that’s just the main point of suffering for a lot of people. I used to be bullied by other people in school. the teachers and my parents were so demanding. Honestly, I’ve been having a ptsd regarding that and while its not as crippling as seeing your entire family being burnt down with their house, it does feel similar in that a past event is hanging on my shoulders and I simply worsened my health simply because I refused to acknowledge this past.

But no matter how badly you suffered in the past, I don’t think that’s an excuse to hold a grudge and not letting go of the past.

The past is the past and you’re better than that, Klancy just really think that its his fault that it happened and that he could never be happy without his family again. That’s why all these people turn super serious and grumpy. They all just sort of give up on happiness. Without love and happiness he is just an empty shell of a man and doesn’t have anything besides vengeance and code of justice keeping him going.

He is always been like this. Age is just a number and wisdom really doesn’t come with age. Just because you’re good at finding the truth of a murder case doesn’t mean that you’re good at finding the truth within yourself. He is pretty much lacking that. And unfortunately he is too arrogant to see it.

And I’m actually really glad that despite Klancy not being present during this case, we learn a lot about him.

Kyong

Speaking of characters that honestly surprised me, Kyong. I used to plan out stories when I was starting out. Now I just let the stories flow on their own. And its so much funner this way. The joy of not knowing what happens next, like I myself am the reader is quite fun, the lack of fear and control from the writer’s side is what makes a story shine in my opinion.

And Kyong’s growth as a character as well as his backstory and why he is suddenly doing a good thing now, honestly makes me super happy for him. Yeah, he died, but I think he died on a pretty good note. Death never really is the end and I’m glad Kyong died fighting for something meaningful rather than chase after sex and money like he used to.

Kyong, despite his harsh attitude, lustful actions and rocky introduction never really was a villain. He knew all the laws and rules were bullshit, he indulged in all sorts of pleasures and wildness. But he himself probably knew that he was lacking. And he finally got a good reason to fight for something. He found his heart and thanks to that he teamed up with Hellen.

A very interesting thing about his and Dimitiri’s and Hui Ying’s deaths is that, I never planned them to die. I know that sounds shocking but I really love this way of writing. Its really scary to not know what will happen but I ultimately think this is by far the more productive and also the most enjoyable way to write. The best thing about watching a show is that you learn from it moment to moment, but when I wrote, I used to have this constraint of plans and attempts at forcing the narrative into my plans in the past. But not anymore, now I actually have the courage to just not plan anything and let the story naturally flow through its own internal logic.

And because of that Kyong ended up dying. He was pretty much cooked when he got grenaded and Dimitri escaped with him into the bathroom. Since they had no answer to the green gas, it was pretty much checkmate for those two.

The one person who actually got plot armored of all people was Casey. In the original writing Casey died from being shot in the head during the weapon storage camping scene. But I kinda didn’t like how everyone who witnessed the case from Squad L5 died, so I let Hellen take the shot for the team.