Just as I was about ready to meet a very tragic end with potential splattering and bone breaking consequences, the billboard crashed into another balcony and suddenly turned flat, gliding in the air. There was no more crashing noise, only the hiss of the wind.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002386792772812850/dblz2x4-e1b3efd4-9ee2-4d8a-b632-5148ef1e75c9.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414224532im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002386792772812850/dblz2x4-e1b3efd4-9ee2-4d8a-b632-5148ef1e75c9.jpg]
I figured the board must have caught an updraft of air, turning it into a massive kite.
I saw the curvature of the earth sail beneath me, dotted with smaller concrete 21st century buildings, surrounded by jagged meshwork of mangled machine-operated and now silent factories. The impromptu kite rose further and further, punching through a cloud shelf. I began to be concerned. Where was it taking me? How many bones would I break if the precarious sky-balance of the kite failed?
Gargantuan Good Directorate city-cubes, wrapped by spiraling supercell storms, judged my ascent. Here and there lightning struck into the surface of the dark, metal cubes from the storms, nature attempting to and failing to demolish man's grand folly. My skin crawled with an eerie sense of deep wrongness as I looked at them.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002608196176851024/CUBES-AND-THUNDERBOLTS.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414224532im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002608196176851024/CUBES-AND-THUNDERBOLTS.jpg]
The abominable gigastructures had no right, no reason, no sense to exist. Even before everyone perished in thermonuclear hellfire, there couldn't have been anywhere enough employees to fill all of these office spaces. Why had the Good corporation built them? What purpose did they serve? I decided that it didn't really matter. Now they were simply titanic, empty shells of whatever they once were, devoid of all life.
While I contemplated the sad state of office cubes, my "kite" suddenly began its descent.
The sky flashed above me for a moment, before the billboard smashed into the ground, digging into the ice, severing the ropes and flinging me out into a snow-bank.
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image [https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/5ab0b6ce-f97e-4834-b089-8a0d050ab762/dblz2yf-507fdf46-14d3-46af-b740-b2aa8100944b.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJpc3MiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwic3ViIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTpmaWxlLmRvd25sb2FkIl0sIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiIvZi81YWIwYjZjZS1mOTdlLTQ4MzQtYjA4OS04YTBkMDUwYWI3NjIvZGJsejJ5Zi01MDdmZGY0Ni0xNGQzLTQ2YWYtYjc0MC1iMmFhODEwMDk0NGIuanBnIn1dXX0.rKLjjlgGJlMrKFPDc8RQmGMxgAvrITrGNERpZDbc_qU]
Making a snow-angel as I tried to get up, but failing due to dizziness, I saw Captain's figure standing over me.
"NINE POINTS!"
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002389164647518339/dblz2yb-ec968360-dc45-4fda-a9c3-5ee02aa57e8f.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414224532im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002389164647518339/dblz2yb-ec968360-dc45-4fda-a9c3-5ee02aa57e8f.jpg]
it spoke.
"What's wrong with you!?" I shouted "Why would you...?"
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002389164303601664/dblz2y3-04a3c0f1-59e6-4a99-a9e4-3f0075a86474.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414224532im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002389164303601664/dblz2y3-04a3c0f1-59e6-4a99-a9e4-3f0075a86474.jpg]
"You lost one point for not smiling on your 6th flip," Captain answered. "Grumpy athletes get second place, you know!"
image [https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/5ab0b6ce-f97e-4834-b089-8a0d050ab762/dblz2xo-64f99b14-3035-4146-8bd8-c1da150a63ac.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJpc3MiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwic3ViIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTpmaWxlLmRvd25sb2FkIl0sIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiIvZi81YWIwYjZjZS1mOTdlLTQ4MzQtYjA4OS04YTBkMDUwYWI3NjIvZGJsejJ4by02NGY5OWIxNC0zMDM1LTQxNDYtOGJkOC1jMWRhMTUwYTYzYWMuanBnIn1dXX0.-XZIx6yxd5bzlQer2yhCtYWL0IYVMqR2a3xYsX40lX0]
I didn't know whether to strangle Captain or to laugh. I chose the latter, because... why not. In a radioactive world where you have nothing to lose or to gain, where your home usually has no roof above it, being a human kite is sort of... maybe just a tiny bit... amusing?
Moral of the day is that I definitely learned NOT to poke fun at Captain's conversations with inanimate objects.