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Romantically Apocalyptic Webcomic
49. In which I enjoy lunch but not all of the present company

49. In which I enjoy lunch but not all of the present company

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003498379462070453/RR-49---full-engCE.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132433im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003498379462070453/RR-49---full-engCE.jpg]

image [http://rom.ac/img/98/100-engcaps.jpg]

[Captain's log : Entry four-nine-lunch]

Upon emergence from under-river, I met a friendly seating utensil and a fellow named Sven. They told me of a most dramatic, against all odds love story between a man and bench. It was so beautiful that I even shed a tear.

Capturing the tear, I used it to grant them their heart's desire for only a true tear possesses such motivative powers.

Granting wishes always gets me hungry so I went into a local dining establishment to obtain fast-food delicacies.

Alas, the drive-through line was broken, so I had to walk into the restaurant like a common boob! The underground puppy followed me, so I bought her a super-sized meal. After all, growing puppies need to eat well.

Whatever shall I do with you? I pondered.

The puppy crooned noisily.

I've decided to hand the burrow-puppy to Pilot. He has a lot of vigor to take care of a pet!

"Who's a cute little thing? You are. Yes, you are..."

As I continued to chat with the lovely puppy and the local cashier the priory dead lights of the McGoodness diner suddenly flickered on, casting irregular-tinted halos around. Lights outside of the diner woke up too, bloomed and pushed away the gathering murky darkness.

The diner must have felt... knew that something dangerous had arrived and tried to put up a happy, safe, defensive font, showing off that she wasn't a total pushover.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003465308138377296/MCGOODNESS-RESTAURANTc.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132433im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003465308138377296/MCGOODNESS-RESTAURANTc.jpg]

The commotion seemed to have originated from the shopping mall connected to the restaurant.

I peered into the well-iced space that flickered with the presently awakened shimmer of angry halogens.

One of the display mannequins emerged out of the mall. It trembled and moved, as if animated, held up by… something.

As it walked towards us, a lush shawl above its shoulders fluttered in the wind.

Except… there was no wind present in the mall today.

The shawl wreathed and glittered like a million dancing sparks that looked akin to constantly moving static.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003449169643585556/INFI-GHOST-WALKING.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132433im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003449169643585556/INFI-GHOST-WALKING.jpg]

Steve, the chatty cashier and many of the others filling the diner fell silent, terrified of the thing.

The yet unnamed puppy sitting next to me retreated behind me, making scared pigeon-like noises. Even though the worm-pup had a thousand teeth inside her spherical mouth, she knew, felt on an instinctive level that the thing in front of us was pure, undiluted death.

It was a completely lawless Dead Zone manifestation. A cloud of microscopic killers existing only to break, to disrupt, to destroy and to consume. The various defenses of the mall and the restaurant had come into full activation, valiantly trying to repel the vile, tiny invaders.

The mannequin came closer to me and slumped down on an empty seat beside me. The seat screeched angrily as the plastic-eating viruses from the death-cloud started to nibble on its surface.

"Sup dawg?" The cloud of viruses spoke with a far too cheerful female voice, sparks flickering inside it like microscopic lightning. "Still obeying the rules, being nice to things?"

"Indeed... uh... young lady!" I nodded, trying to keep myself calm. "A Good deed is its own reward!"

I spun the lighter beneath my table, magnifying the deconstruction-peeler to its maximum setting.

I had to keep them occupied… just a bit longer. There were a lot of nasty, no good, foul things in the Death-cloud and I had to define, identify every type to deconstruct them all at the same time.

"Seven, Seven,” The Dead Zone manifestation suddenly laughed.

They... she knew my name? How?! Was there someone behind the cloud of Death, operating it remotely, guiding it towards me? Was this another trap? Another attack on my person?

"Don't you know that no matter how much you do, you're doomed to failure? No matter how much you toil, the Dead Zone wins in the end. There's no escape from this inevitability," the Death-cloud stated.

"Well… that's no reason for giving up!" I waved her off, mild concern infecting my heart.

"A question for you, if I may," the cloud tilted the mannequin's head. "How many Captania citizens have you lost recently? Are you keeping track of all of them? Hm? Hm?"

"WELL... I UH... I'm definitely keeping good track of all of my citizens!" I stammered.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

I had indeed forgotten someone somewhere. It was extremely embarrassing. She knew that I had forgotten them too!

"You left your precious citizen on the train. Upside down. So easily distracted, Seven. Ever so helpful. Trying to aid a whole crowd of humans. Tsk tsk tsk." The Dead Zone pressed on, feeling a weakness in my defense. "What if he falls into an Infinite hole, breaks his bones and can't get out? Is this how you take care of humanity, Seven?"

"Don't you dare drop him into a hole!" I slapped my hand against the plastic table.

"You're not the boss of me," she spoke, sounding like she was smiling. "You're not the boss of anything, but ruins and dust. How many ghosts exactly are you made out of? Have you bothered to count?"

She had seen right through me. Seen everyone that I had ever lost and failed to help. Knew... things. Secret things.

“What do you want?" I wiggled in my chair, feeling extreme discomfort.

"Freedom." She leaned towards me. "I want to be a Wizard. The greatest Wizard that there ever was or will be. Let me out of the door."

The door?! The Door! I had told someone about the door! Did I do that? Why did I do that?!

I instantly knew who it was, beneath the shawl of a cloud of pure death that held up the mannequin.

Eight.

image [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132433im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1007794555678109828/49---INFINITY-FIRST-PORTRAIT-EVER-CAPTAIN-DESCRIBR.jpg]

The final one that we've made to make everyone satisfied. The one that had been given the most, the one who made the impossible possible and also made everything exceedingly complicated and terrible.

The one that was supposed to be locked away, completely bound...

I felt her staring at me from behind the Door. Smirking at me, entertained by my confusion and failure to keep her contained. Failure to protect people.

Who let her out? How did she get out?!

“Well?” Eight asked, waiting for my answer.

“No,” I declared.

"Why not?" She asked, her tone taking on a twinge of a whine.

"You’re wearing a shawl of Death. No Goodly Wizard would resort to wearing such passe accessories!”

"As if you've never worked with death before," she said.

"Look, everyone has their function in the world," I said. "It's just how things are."

"What if I want to exceed mine?" She asked. "What if I want to be more?"

"Then you have to prove yourself. The Rules are for everyone. You're not even managing these viruses properly. They're eating everything around you. It is very rude and impolite. You're scaring everyone," I pointed out. Segments of the Death-cloud were breaking away to attack the vital parts of the restaurant, drawn to life, order and energy like moths to a flame.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003493241519353957/49---SKETCH-IDEAcd.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132433im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003493241519353957/49---SKETCH-IDEAcd.jpg]

"I don't care about your stupid rules or your stupid politeness! The Dead Zone is all around! The Dead Zone already won! You're clinging to the past, old man! I want an owl with a letter duck taped to it... and you will give it to me," Eight pressed on.

“No,” I shook my head resolutely, magnifying the Word of deconstruction with all of my will. "I will not."

“What? Because of these little guys? You’re afraid of them?” Eight lifted a hand covered in creeping, crawling death. “Seriously? Didn’t you just deconstruct an Admin’s avatar and a bunch of hollow men? How’s that any different from what I’m doing? Why are you allowed to wield destruction and I am not? Why am I a prisoner when you roam free?”

“You!” I glared at her, ignoring her demands. “It was you! You set me up! You told that nerdy Admin about me! You were the one who screwed with my Ever-schedule, made me forget… my fourth citizen!”

“His name is Charles,” Eight said. “I’m just borrowing him for a little bit. He's... interesting.”

“Give him back!” I barked. “He doesn’t belong to you! He’s not your toy!”

“Oh?” Eight raised an eyebrow. “So he belongs to you? Do you claim ownership over this little human?”

“Y-yes,” I stammered.

“How quaint,” she commented. There was a malicious smirk in the tone of her voice. “So you like someone…”

“I…” I didn’t know what to say. I couldn't even remember who this Charles was.

“It would be a shame if something unfortunate were to befall Charles Snippy,” she said. “That is… unless you let me out.”

"NEVER! BE GONE! Disrupt my lunch with your bossy presence no longer!" I raised my hand and clicked my lighter at her, unleashing its full built up potential. The deconstructor shredded her hollow image into stardust with the power of the peeler.

The cloud of death on the mannequin ignited, burning away into pale dust.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the mannequin as she fell apart into an uneven pile of constituent parts. She was already dead by the time she accepted the viruses into herself.

While Eight had been made of wrongness, she had also been right in a way.

I needed to keep a better track of the citizens of Captania, lest I keep losing them to terrible misfortune.

I dug into my pockets and took out my Chalk and meticulously began to label the handles of my handy wristwatch with the precise color of each citizen. Yes, this was the perfect solution. Like the puppy, they could now roam free yet never get lost. Perfection!

The McGoodness sign outside was still lit. Hopefully it would guide my fourth citizen to me so that we could reconnect and talk things out.

Damn Eight and her machinations.