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I DEFINITELY THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING CAPTAIN,

Especially after several life-threatening pranks that were pulled on me... like that time when I woke up with a bucket super-glued to my head and declared me "IRON MAN."

Or that time when Captain made a soup out of my gas mask filters because the broth needed the "SMOOTH FLAVOR OF SNIPPY" and salt wasn't available... so I had to roam the decaying shopping malls for a new pair.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

Or that time when Captain pushed me into a watery abyss inside a wooden barrel to celebrate "NIAGARA FALLS DAY!"

Have my thoughts become so compounded as to finally cause schizophrenia?

...Am I a stone throw away from becoming like Pilot, talking to pet rocks and building the Bastion of Captania out of rotting shoeboxes?

And if I were to kill Captain who would I have left?

I must have been talking out loud like those crazy hobos that lived outside the protectorate dome that communicated with radioactive rain clouds via conversations of interpretive dance, until they were consumed by a family of wild mutants.

Did I say out loud about killing Captain or was it just a non-existent voice in my head?

Great, I think Pilot took my insanity seriously and is now off to warn Captain about my infinite treachery.