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While Charles went off to "secure the perimeter", I shambled towards Captain all while struggling to remove the bucket from my head. It wasn't coming off for some reason.

"Captainmas? Is that supposed to be Christmas, but with you in it?"

"INDEED! A MERRY-YULETIDE-WINTER HOLIDAY FOR ALL CITIZENS AND BE..."

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"I'm relatively sure it's March."

"Not with that attitude, Engie! Why we should declare every day a Captainmas day in wintery Captania! Just think of the economical boom caused by forced daily gift purchases!"

"I object to being a gift. Also can anyone help me remove the bucket?"

"Such untidy impoliteness, Engie! You should thank me! A million years in the future head buckets will be all the rage of zee fashion ladder! Why, when archeologists discover your body, they will be most impressed and will likely clone you for being so accessory-ready for the future!"

"This is absurd!"

"Don't argue! You, of all people, must always dress your best in expectancy for the cloning!"